It's week 33 now, the clock is ticking and I barely can get any proper sleep. The tailbone hurts, the pubic bone hurts.. I don't know how to find a good position to lie in. These 2 weeks, she grew so big that I felt like my tummy gonna tear apart soon. To curb with the throwing up , I changed my diet to lesser white carbs and it does helps except that there really isn't much options outside. Dear is not the kind who opts for healthy choices, not suppose to eat salad outside but I don't really care anymore. I just consume what I can. The last visit to the Gynae at week 31, she said I eating better but not gaining the normal preg weight. Apparently i'm gaining only half of what other preg are getting .. oh well it didn't bother me after all. The fact that I threw up throughout, I cannot be expecting that as long as little R is doing well. She's such a fighter, so resilient! I'm amazed how she learn to suck out all she needs to survive. Good job little one! Keep yourself small though.. because I'm terrified over the natural birth.
We decided to go for natural birth but there's so much thoughts running through my mind. Why?
Did my research, studies and found out that scoliosis will not allow me to enjoy the god sent epidural in times of pain. Not too sure but I guess my rotated spine gonna makes thing not seem better.
With my pubis dysfunctional, a c sec will double my pain as the pelvis pain may not go away after labour until proper treatment is seeked. What's more is a GA with c sec ... and how our body reacts to after causing a slowdown with breastfeeding etc. So the mental prep is natural birth with no epidural. Not someone with high pain threshold I would say.. terrified on the thought of it. Just last night, I was telling dear that if after labour and I can't get off the bed or walk because of the pelvis pain, I'm not sure if I can manage my emotions. It's been a struggle telling myself to be strong , how I looked back the no of months that I been through, I honestly had no idea how many buckets of tears were drained away. The last thing I want is an immobile self. I'm trying hard to be independent , driving even now , doing groceries .. only avoiding activities that deteriorate my current condition.
Just a month more to go, hopefully she comes after my birthday allowing me to enjoy my last twenties. This year is not a good one apart from this not so smooth preg, he faces some difficulties at work.. but I believe 2017 will be different definitely.
Finally we got down to packing her stuff.. she has so many clothes that I can't figure out where to start. Lol, you're gonna be a fashionista and having the privilege of wearing all your clothes only once and it will be passed on. Looks like you need more than just clothes... because you have nothing else apart from that. Till next week I see you, I hope things will get better though I doubt so. We'll pray for things to progress smoothly.
