i dunno why I'm feeling this way...
so emo...
in a daze. din feel like talking at all
the air is stagnant and cold
the sound of the fan so distinct

my eyes are tired.
but there wasn't a thought to go to bed
cos i'm guilty of everything
like how i have spent hours working on a freaking project
how i spent my time on my meals
the time i spent thinking about every other thing that seems so unimportant

not knowing where i should start...
i could easily stare on the screen on my computer...
n i felt my tears welling...my nose is stiffing
what's wrong?

mummy called in the evening...
how much i wanted to tell her i miss her cooking so much
how much i wanted to tell her not to hang the phone on me
all i said was i wanted to go home today but there're so many things to do...
asked if i have eaten? n remind me to take my meal later...

just when everything feels like falling apart in the lonely night
i miss my family most...
the frequent calls i used to get no longer ring.

i hate myself for getting emotional when things don't turn out well.
i shld be standing up strong like how i appear to be
keep that smile on... but it is not that way...

and there ... it happens sometimes...
"I cried myself to sleep last night
When I woke up
There were tear stains on my pillow
It hurt so much to sacrifice what I gave up
Without you in my life
I will always feel lonely
Losing the love
From someone like you"
....
Not a day goes by without something
Reminding me of you
The truth is that I miss you
It gets so hard not being with you
There are times when I go crazy
In the twilight of the night

maybe i shouldn't place any expectations...
i have made it so far...
i shld be contented.
it is just a want...
i do not need this burden..
it's burning my tolerance, my patience
so tired..

i just wanna walk through the endless peaceful road
someone enlighten me?

Having too much fun?

Dear diary,

This weekend i was staying over in school... went for shopping on Friday with Gina and Helen. Ah... this month is definitely the month where i spent most of my money on shopping :X Mummy cfm will nag at me if she finds out. i bought 2 cardigans and a top which costs mi a total of $62. In the afternoon, i went to play the game for IT, it was fun.. den report to LT24 where it seems as though i moment i step into and out, my knowledge is still the same! Ah, i din know what was happening in the lecture la.


Had street challenge on sat... i had fun though i feel more like gg there for showcase haha. Entertainment value was high in the finals and it was more relaxing! Anyway, we got 2nd! The weather wasn't very bad.. but bad enough for me to get my sun-burnt :S Like finally i got rid of my tanned lines and now it's back. BOO! I think the best part was after street challenge where zhen hao, yuen bo, guo xiang and i decided to have our own cooked meals. We went to The Sun, bought spaghetti sauce, canned food and chicken clam chowder. Went to hall2 to cook and eat on the stairs. It was nice n i enjoy it... Went to hall 2 tv lounge.. they were watching soccer. I was chit chatting with them cos i dun watch soccer. Was feeling tired but after we went back to hall for a bath, we gathered in hall 9 again. The guys watch soccer while i was in yuen bo room. His room got this huge tv , psp 2 ... after the soccer the guys came up to play psp2 -soccer again. 3am, we went down to watch rugby. Learn abit on the sports from yuen bo... i fell aslp, woke up n play with his hp. Slept ard 4plus i think...

I feel so tired today... n lost. Din know what to do the whole day, been surfing ard the net, walk to my bed n nap like every now and then. i'm such a pig! Jus had dinner with hj... n it's like 9pm already. Tml is another new week...


What's life without sirius? i guess i probably won't have tt much fun without them.

time for a new beginning

Dear diary,

Yea.. board meeting just ended! So happy...
Early morning i went for 214 and my classmates started saying that i nv eat my medicine cos i went a lil crazy... i think is more of the stress that's y i'm like tt.
After board meeting, went with hj n Cheryl for ice cream waffles. Then, they say i'm dramatic today. where got?
I'm back in hall and I've this very light feeling. Although there's still things for me to do BUT i dun care! I decide not to do anything tonight :P Haha, this week very slack. I slept for 10 hours on Tuesday night. Concussed at 12am n woke up at 10am.. sleeping is damn shiok! I LOVE sleeping!
Ate prata roll sausage at NIE den i saw my velvet slipper there. I wanna buy... maybe tml go there?
Shoot, my IT tutor ask my fren n i to help her to try out a game either tml or monday. Dunno is gd or not to be so lucky getting 'chosen' to play the game. Must be i too noisy in IT class already.. keep laughing when doing lab work if not sleeping when she is teaching the seminar -_- can't help but always fall asleep in IT class.

I'm thinking if i should go home tonight to grab all my stuffs for tml, sat n next week. I'm running out of clothes and i dun have my sports shoes for street challenge this sat. Also, i gt dance this sat... so lazy to go home :P

Actually come to think of it, still have alot of things to do esp IT project, 201 plus i haven start studying or rather i m lacking so much behind. i gg to watch some movie now. haha.. bye!

Can life get any better?

It's Saturday finally.. which means i have managed to pull through the last 5 days.
Fast, hectic, emotional, sleepless days and nights.

It all begin with a strong mindset but gets beaten down with an alphabet at the end of the day 1.
All i need was some jokes, some enlightenment, some encouragement to put me into ease or rather into sleep. Back into my pondering mood... always wondering why things turn out this way. Was glad that 1 presentation was down. During the ppt, i was like a joke myself holding on to a toy mircophone - the thought of it, makes me wanna laugh.

Entering into day 2, saw so many pictures of little kids in my class. I suddenly felt the love around with these innocent eyes and smiles. These cuties pies brings me into a state of admiration. In the afternoon, our team presented for IT. It was not a bad experience afterall cos i wasn't much prepared to do this ppt without a speech. Was just rattling off the slides and think of what i could add on the spot. Thankfully it went well though not excellent. End of day 2 begins with lots of readings for quiz.

The whole of day 3, the 3 of us were mugging for 202 quiz. Of cos, i din managed to finish all of them... it was a stressful day

Skipped my morning class cos i couldn't wake up... n the quiz was a disappointment n i predict it would not turn out well anyway. Sigh, will this semster be a real turnoff? Went to cheryl house to stay overnight with my 3 other group members to complete our IT project.

I din managed to last the whole night... think i fell into deel sleep after macdonalds breakfast at 6.30am. Woke up at 8.30 but went back to slp again till 10 plus. Last minute check through, printed photos, wanted to make video but no time ( but the plot was really funny) , finally call a cab n bring us back to FAL. Do all the final printing which was scary.. we have 50 over pages :S. I hope the tutor give us marks for effort if the quality is not tt great. The last day of a school week put me into a 15 hours of sleep.

I'm working on my elective report now - 2000 words. hopefully i can complete it by tonight. Hopefully i dun get too tired in the night, cos i wanna go out for a breathe. I need this! All i need is to be in a peaceful surrounding, enjoy the breeze and fell asleep.

During my whole recess week.. it was very much of a routine. Cos there are project meetings almost everyday! Except for this special day - Friday, where i meet up with my secondary sch friends because our dear miss avena is leaving to USA for 3 months not to study but to WORK n PLAY! Admire her ... haha. Anyway, we had dinner at kenny roger in great world city. It was my first time eating the famous chicken.. n indeed i like it! Though it's very fattening cos the portion is really big n i finish all with the extremely cheesy macaroni and yummy mashed potatoes. I wanna bring my parents there! hee... maybe after next week - the week i fear most.
So happy to see joyce, lingli n vanessa cos i rarely meet up at all. in fact since nbs camp, i haven meet all of them there. Bought a g2000 top which costs $59 n thanks to jolence who told be she bought it at half price .. i wanna scream. lol. Just so conicidental that both of us bought the same design but different colour :) i bought blue while she bought yellow. After kenny roger, i went holland village to essential brew. i just love that place :)

On sat night, i had dinner with sherlyn n kor at koufu food court in anchorpoint. I must say that the standards of anchorpoint food court has risen alot. Yummy foods there. Korkor ordered a special dish from the western stall which is unique n nice.. th0ugh it's filled with vege n mushrooms still it delicious.

So excited to get all the new clothes i bought online later in the afternoon from regina. I'm so going to have a collection of blue tops in my closet. Bought a beach dress n a top which is super versatile. Quite excited to wear them too but looks like i gotta wait till after exams? Hopefully not.. perhaps next weekend ba.

Next week is horrible! So far i already have:
1) AA202 class presentation (mon)
2) Elective report draft (mon)
3) AA213 class presentation (tue)
4) AA202 quiz (thurs)
5) AA 213 prj deadline (Fri)

later in the morning.. i really pray hard that there's no presentation or assignment due next week. though the chances is slim cos everyone whom i know in 214 classes seems to have assignments or presentation.

sigh.. today i nv study at all :(
spend alot of my time on my report for my elective n was viewing my IT project part a.