A lonely soul

Dear diary,

These 3 weeks passes without me knowing that it...
An overwhelming feeling came over me. Like how much away I was from everyone emotionally, mentally and physically.
As much as I enjoyed those times i spent with them... many of the times when I'm alone, i really thought I'm staying on an island.

Just about bringing this week up is a misery and what make it worst was the special days we had.
On Monday, i spent all my break time in the reading room trying to study which of cos didn't work out the way i wanted. Tuesday was not any better... woke up early in the morning to get my ob presentation slide done. Having to study for my quiz and getting the biology report done before i get to bed which was already like 3am. Worst still, Melissa is leaving to Australia at 12am flight n i wasn't able to be there to send her off. It's was a sad feeling back alone in hall, having a close friend leaving you n only like 9 months after will i be able to see her. What a lousy fren i am ! Melissa, if u r reading this - I'm missing you and was hoping you were to here to talk to me. Now that you're in Australia, it's so hard to reach out to you as compared to when you're in Singapore. Nevertheless, i know you are standing by me to give me that extra mental support. Do take real good care of yourself there... you might be sneezing right now cos someone is missing you so much.
V day happily came along on wed which started the nightmare. Had elective quiz and spending my day in hall studying for accounting two quiz till 4am. Had early lessons on thursday n continue mugging - my mind was so concentrated upon entering the lec theatre n after i step out, i knew finally everything was over but again, i jus didn't have the mood for anything. Had reunion dinner with my hall n colors award meeting which lasted for 7 hours. Had a talk with sadaf till 7am n went to bed. Headed home around 10am but slept thru the day till it was dinner time.
Came to realize, it's new year holiday and i haven got any new clothes. I wanted to go out to take a break n to shop too... but as i think through. Who can i call?I only needed someone who can accompany me. Melissa whom have been going out with me for the past 3 years to get new year clothes is in Australia. Cheryl nv pick up her phone.. Rowena is in bugis waiting for her mum... Shili and frens gg to zouk... I felt so away from everyone. I felt as though i haven been home for 3 weeks.. my non- presence at home seems to diminish my closeness with my family members.

It's time to retreat back to my little own world. Guess my presence is not important.... Adeline, u r such a loner and insignificant. This world would have still survived without you... you are not needed!

All i was looking forward was a time when i had nothing going through my mind. I'm such a complicated person to comprehend. God, would please change me? I'm weak!

endless help needed

dear diary,



It's another phrase of life i have to go through
A point where I have dozen of things that I have to do
Home is no longer a place I am used to be
Home is just a place for me to be loved.
A place where i desire to stay.
School can never be like in the past
A place I am looking forward to go.
It's like part of my life...
And a new term came into my life
That's hall.
Hall used to be a place where talks are given
But now hall is a place I breathe and live in.
An envirnoment I learn to be on my own...
And never fails to think of home when i'm there.
Is there even a time where I can think of home?
Times when I'm feeling depressed
Times when I feel I need a hug from dad.
Times when I needed the extra smiles from my siblings.
Times when I miss the delicious foods from mum.
These times... can never be replaced as each day passes.

Next week is full of craze.
Doing tutorials for stat, accounting before tuesday.
Having to spend my vday studying for accounting II as well as having to take my quiz for my elective It's also the deadline for my assignment for biobiz. My group will also be doing presentation early on vday.
Thursday - quiz at 7pm... 10pm to attend a meeting.
Friday - might be another ob meeting.

Where are the beautiful days?
I go through a living hell of days just to see the beautiful things in life to keep me going on... I'm pissed!