Slacking days

Dear diary,

School has begun... i had received my timetable n only thursday was the worst. my lesson end at 4pm on thursday... the rest erm.. mon is 1, tue n wed is 12.30 n fri is 12. quite slack la but hate thursday which is tml. Right now i'm ore worried about my coming gp test on friday ( think i will fail lo.. so long nv touch gp stuff as in do compre nor essay). Moreover, my gp tutor says no one is to fail the essay. These three days i m still in holiday mood la .. coe home n sleep like nobody business. yesterday i watched hide n seek n inital d. yupz... den today i slept for 2 n a half hour. After dinner, i went to pack my math file cos i'm the 'lucky' one to be picked for checking!~ nvm.. luckily tt i've already organised my stuff so it's rather easy just that later have to do corrections.hmm... tried to do my math assignment 33 but i see the first question n it's cracking my brains. I chose to ignore n went to watch tv n right now i'm online n watching tennis. On monday, i had tennis with mum n her friends. I love playing tennis! it's so much fun.. lots of fun! But i have a very bad habit tt is i dun like to run for the balls.. so i'll be like waiting the balls to come if not i wun hit it. Mum says i gonna change.. yupz i agree! Interhouse is coming. n i hope i can play well n sure must enjoy it! Think tonight will be stuck in front of my tv le. Wanna watch superstar n tennis. this week still not in the mood of studying... rest for one or two more weeks den try to go back my normal ba. Just hope i dun slack too much... got back my math paper. I'm quite satified with my results - 70.5,, all b'coz of my careless mistakes. hmm i have gone through my paper n make ralli alot of stupid careless mistakes. well, just make sure my a levels dun repeat the same mistakes can le right? So i sort of achieve one of my aim for this mid year ... keep going on adeline!!! Today though the day is short in school but alot of things to learn.. gosh! environment chem seems so tireous... econ is like blur. had stress management n haha i fit in all the catergories lor.. must be i very stress lol. haha.. hope it's not! sian first day of sch.. ms yamuna is there to remind us that a levels is like abt 3 months away... ok but thanks to her i need to wake up real soon away from my holiday mood.


@de|ine=> holiday mood

My days...

Dear diary,

I had just completed my mid year exams on thursday... it's like another miracle that i have gone through it. my last paper was the worst cos economics ended late den left just a few hours to study before the day ends. as usual, i try my best to keep myself awake so that i can look through at least once for all the topics. In the end, i studied till 4am, at that point of time, i no longer felt sleepy but still i think i need some sleep otherwise tml take paper will sleep haha so i slept. the next day i woke up, i was shocked! I saw myself as white as sheet, i was in a daze the whole morning till i reached school. i felt better le. After the paper, i went home. thanks dad n mum for fetching me home everyday of my papers... love ya! Because of u, i'm able to study well. hopefully i dun bring disappointment to you guys. Blessed me! After chem, i felt so relief. But i just wasn't feeling well, having my cramps .. making me no strength nor any energy at all. actually meli n i were suppose to go out n have fun but both of us were like so sian so nv go out. I came home n watch tv, lie on my sofa...soon my parents went out. i was addicted to this wonderful programme - photoimage so i was playing with it for like 3 to 4 hours. throughout the hours, i just dun feel like walking anywhere, only sit down in front of my computer. I realised i haven had a proper meal till 6 plus when my parents were back.
The next day which is friday, i went out to k-box with my fren, den we go shopping, took neo prints... (to daddy, haha thanks for the exra cash u gave me... u said to keep it a secret but in the end u told mummy lol) I bought a pair of earrings which was at sales . it's a big ring.. at first thought it looks alright but when i tried it at home it was very big la. Saw lots of stuffs i wanna buy but they r damn expensive! i told my self that next time i must earn lots of money so that i can buy whatever i like whahaha. ok.. i'm being mad right now.. having a very big bubble above my head. since young got so many dreams for the future... but very likely they are not fulfil. ok.. i'm tired le. shall stop here. goodnitez!

All Smiles!

Dear diary,

I had a great time today... but lazy to write haha. Thank u for giving me such a wonderful day! I'm all smiles... :)

@de|ine => all smiles..

Stress!!!

Dear diary,

I've been studying real hard for next week mid year... i'm studying of an average of at least 7 hours per day .. can u imagaine tt? i nv tired studying for so many many days of at least 7 hours.. gosh! I ate alot too... first time eh. usually near exam period i dun eat alot de... den will lose some weight haha.. but this time i eat alot lor. pray hard my weight dun increase... hmmm but got a few days i ate quite healthily... got influence by my gf to eat wheat bread lol. tastes yummy!!! I have look through all the topics once le... the problem now is memorising my facts! I'm really a wooden block eh... always must memorise stuffs den can .. since secondary school. i can never understand anything. Argh! hate myself for doing so.. everyone says it's not good... esp for econs is like how to memorise? so many many things.. i really dunno where to start from! ANGRY~ this week i only spend 2 days on math yet i am aiming quite high for math. hai~ so contradict right? maybe i shld just aim all pass can le.. so that my disappointment will not be great. Heard from gf that math will be difficult for this mid year... Damn stress !! recently i've been waking up real early in the monring cos i couldn't slp well but i felt so tired.. den i sleep quite late at night with my tv on cos i could not slp! yesterday i suddenly felt a strong feeling.. it's difficult to describe. my mind is totally in a blank... den all i wanted to do is to grab something to hang on. i felt so weak that i feel like collapsing... very very weird... den in a split second, i was alright den i was sitting in front of my sofa. WEIRD! is this a sign of depression or stress.. something is wrong!~ hmmm still wanna wish myself all the best. four more days to the horrorifying papers.

@de|ine=> down at the bottom of the sea searching for pearls!

I'm elated!!

Dear diary,

i'm feeling elated right now hee... cos i just came home from town. whaha... went out with my friend den we go bugis n orchard. lol.. bought a roxy shirt den we took neoprints. lol.. very nice wor but cannot show ppl :( hmm.. we went out at 6pm den reach home onli at 10.30. very unlucky .. we just reach bugis mrt station den my slipper spoil lor.. but i still wear it till i reached home though quite difficult to walk. haha.. cos onli bring 30 buck den dun wanna spent on slippers. Hmm... we went to bugis village n shop. actually is to relieve stress la today go out... i did math today n complex numbers really sucks! function is alright :) hmmm... tml is econ days ( i hate econ most!) what's the best thing going out is eating chocolate cake n brownies!! lol, we share hehe. den we sit at the place like quite romantic whaha ..it's really sinful having all the chocolates inside right now. opps.. these few days while i study den i eat really really alot of stuffs. think this holiday dunno gain how much weight le. die ar... plus i yesterday no tennis!! hmmm.. i keep telling myself wei le this mid year i must jia you.. but i very scare. what if i study so hard den in the end all i receive is just useless grades that does not prove my hardworkingness? *pray hard that it wun happen ok* pray pray pray... please!!! but the bad thing is i study le den i tend to forget the stuff very easily leh. hai~
i hope i can do better for math ( pray tt math paper dun so tough) den chem .. hmmm hope i can memorise the organic reactions very well. the other topics i dun care much. as for econ only aim for a pass... these are my aims for this mid year.yupz... adeline jia you!! must do it ok!
to my friend who went out with me,
i really enjoy the time we spend today cos i really felt very happy. thought the time is quite short but it's a fruitful one... first time eating such expensive chocolat cakes n brownies.. also i love the photos we took :) love ya lots!!! hee ( smiling ) *winks*

@de|ine=> reborned!

I wish i were here with you..

Dear diary,

I felt so lucky yet upset... I felt so lucky to have my parents with me cos without them, i won't be able to see the wonders of this world. I'm thankful especially to my daddy for him working so hard to give my family a comfortable life n giving us all that he could. Supporting me in my education so that i will have a better future. I love you daddy more than anything in this world ... Since young, u are always my hero. you taught me how to walk through my tough times, giving me advice n be there for me. At times, when u n i were alone talking... i felt the warmth that u gave me. The jokes that u said are so funny... u have a wonderful brain which i admire alot!!! How i wish i had too. Wishing you a Happy Father's Day! Love ya daddy...

I'm upset today cos not everyone has the chance to be enjoying celebrating Father's Day.

My dear cousin, i wanna let u know that even though ur dad has left u but he will always be there with you no matter where you go. I know just like me, our daddy place an important role in our lives. Even if everyone is there to console U, it's tough to overcome what had happened. Remember that you are not alone, i'll always be there for you . i'm just a call away from you... right now, u must be feeling lost. I dunno how to console you but hopefully soon u will become the cheerful gal like the past. Do know that your daddy will want you to be happy n move on with your life. He will always be with you.. alway~ Love ya gal.. cheer up :)
[remember to eat ok?] i'll always be there for u!

@de|ine => i'm thankful.

My tooth is hurting~

Dear diary,

My tooth is hurting so badly! Ouch!.. it has been three days , i told my parents n they just told mi to drink more water. pray hard that i'm not having my wisdom tooth cos gf says it's very painful to remove it :( Nowadays, i dun really talk alot to you le... cos talking to you just hurts me. Yesterday i had a dream... i dreamt of u being angry with me but i dunno the reason. we were suppose to sit together in the bus but u won't allow me to... so i sat behind. i suspect the reason for u being angry is b'cos perhaps u have read my blog. (If ever one day u were to see this, i wanna let u know that it's not i don't wanna talk to u abt it cos i'm so afraid to lose you someone whom was my best friend but now i wun dare to say we are... just that we are still close.) When i woke up, i pray so hard that this didn't happen at all n i'm glad that it din.. it was just a dream. Went to school for econs n got back my econ script .. i just passed. After class, we celebrated yan qin's early birthday which is on 16th june. Then, i went home, had so much hesitation when i was eating my lunch cos my tooth just hurts. After lunch which took a long time to finished eating, i went to my bed. I tried to sleep , was rocking on my bed, rolling on my bed... only managed to slp maybe after an hr. Stupid tooth!! felt like removing it so much. Woke up at 2pm. At 3pm, i went out with my carboxylic acid notes, wallet n hp. Walked around my neighbourhood for abt 30 minutes .. felt really relaxed n i wish i hadn't have to stop walking... den i walked to the linrary n sat down to read my carboxylic acid notes... went around the library n pick up a few books - poems.. i read n was so engrossed with it. some were sad but some were so encouraging... at ard 6 plos, i walked home again. Did not have my dinner cos i dun have appetite. watch tv throughout the night till 10pm,n i'm online :)No mood to study le!!! argh.. i hate exams! always feel so restricted , gulity , useless ... i always want to be free! When is the day coming? *wonder*

@deline=> it's a bad day!

Why do i feel this way?

Dear diary,

i'm feeling real down right now.. i'm lost. i feel like going out .. away from everyone cos i felt so cheated throughout my whole life. I'm not sure if this is a moment of being rash or it's really what i think is just my own feelings n imagination. just before i grumble, i would like to thanks melissa n my friends for accompanying mi out yesterday. nice to see u all again... mel n i went shopping den jx join us as usual... after that i meet my secondary school classmates( melvin, wai leong n winson) to watch movie - cursed.. i din realli know what it was about but i was frightened at some parts of the movie. den we went to eat near the esplande-makansutra. after we hav eaten , we went near to the sea, i like the feeling-the feeling of peace as the wind blows away all my troubles. Reached home only after 12am.. woke up this morning den slack slack till afternnon went shopping wif mummy. lol, we went to pray den go bugis village n i brought another top.. oh ya yes mel n i bought the same top but diff colour. quite cool ya? yupz, den we shop till 6 plus n i went to meet zy who make mi walk for so long to reach west coast park. make mi sweat like one kind! haha, but it's kinda of fun to walk with him cos he make mi laugh all the way...but still scare tt he bring mi anyhow walk ... luckily we reached there but it's like 30-45 minutes lor. the bbq was alright cos we dunno alot of ppl.. so i left shortly after mel left...
During my bus journey, i've been thinking alot... i think about my friendship with my close friend. I cried cos i felt disappointed, i felt being used, i felt like a fool... maybe all these are just my thinkings n it's unfair to say u these way cos maybe u nv feel that u treated mi like this before. Or maybe being unattached i can't feel the way u have for him.. that he is more important than ur 'best friend'. well, i can't balme u for i know what type of person he is... but i'm upset with u cos u dun realise that u have neglected ur friend. What m i to you? A ball? so when u r sad, when u r happy, when u really need someone to talk to n couldn't find one.. u'll find mi? will update someday again.. i can't take it anymore .. my eyes r hurting.. i felt so heavy, my eyes are full of liquid that i can't see what i'm typing..