As I'm blogging this down, I can't help but tears just roll down my eyes. I am fine perfectly from the outside but my body needs some serious repairment. The first week of 2017, we went to collect my x ray results and had a review with my chiropractor. The results were disappointing and I am not quite sure when I will actually recover. She told me even a year of treatment, I won't be back to normal as this was accumulated over 10 years.. resulting in a stage 5 condition being severe. Again, twice a week of treatment is recommended. After birth, I was back to my pre pregnancy weight within a week. A total of 7kg weight gain gone but still some flabby skin. The only struggle I had was walking, I cannot walk normally like how I used to. Though it wasn't obvious, the constant pain never go away.
After the review, I wanted to baby carry Raelyn with a carrier but was stopped by the nurse. She said it will be bad for my back and ask raymond to baby carry her instead. Deep inside , my heart broke.. I just want to carry her for as long as I can but this little gesture just doesn't work for me as she grows bigger each day. Mum said that I should seek a second opinion and visit other doctor. This pregnancy has taught me to never listen to professionals sometimes. Since I was diagnosed with scoliosis at the age of 10, no doctors ever told me how serious it can be. Now that it occur to me, I don't even know what I can do to make myself feel better. No one can understand the emotion rollercoaster that I kept within Because everything looks so perfect from the outside.
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