Dear diary,
This week is rather packed with my inorganic chemistry test, continous random variable test n a written assignment for protectionism on wed, thur n fri respectively. Stayed back in school on tuesday to mug chem with cheryl, wenda n michelle. Hmm, we studied till 3.30 den went to spc den bought lots of food n had orange juice. eh.. can't really remember where mi n cheryl went cos we were heading back to the benches near the yoga room. Wanted to reach the bench first so i ran den cheryl found a shortcut which i din realise. when i saw her in front of mi, i was shocked .. the very next moment she fell. i'm even more stunned yet wenda was there laughing real hard la. cos she says the way cheryl fell is so funny. lol... in the end every1 end up laughing after wenda show us how cheryl fell. Poor cheryl, hope ur knee is doing fine ya? well, we studied till like 6? den korkor came to pick mi n send cheryl to je. Can't imagine how my brother actually passed his driving test! almost got into an accident on our way home ... every morning sit his car i dare not even sleep. Everytime red light his eyes auto will close one. cannot stand him .. argh!!! today he did it again. had to push him real hard den he will wake up. Back to tue, went to slp at 1am but my stupid tooth hurts like hell that i kept toss n turn till i can't stand it anymore. i woke up to brush my teeth again at 1.45am. the pain ease for a while n came back again .. only till 3am den i slp lor. The next day got chem test which is rather tough for me to concentrate cos i'm tired. i din know how to do those calculation questions but the others looks alright to me. my math test was quite sucky. i hate crv... dun understand the topic at all! lucky i pass , get 17/25. I can nv understand myself.. everytime the test is easy, i screw it all up with my careless mistakes. when everyone find the test easy, i beg to differ. everyday of my tests get worst! econ is the best... can't even remember what to write for that questions la.. just crap all the way.
Stayed back in school today fot the different courses of talks for different university. After hearing the talk on accountacy offered in NTU, i'm quite attracted to me cos i think the job prospect is huge so not scare cannot find a job. Wasn't really interested in the business cos i know it bound to have econ! DId my chem hw while waiting for my bro to fetch me.. ask him to come at 5 he dun want.. in the end have to queue up in the road! all thanks to him. the journey home was funny cos everytime he see a jam, he will says change road change road. end up everywhere also traffic jam! haha.. lousy la you... next time please come early hor. btw, ur car stinks! do spray more perfume .. i almost faint! haha... weekend is here le, aain thinking of where to haf fun this weekend.
@de|ine=?
Friday, July 29, 2005
Wednesday, July 20, 2005
I'm bleeding profusely.
No passer-by... the road is empty.
What m I suppose to do?
No roadsign, no direction...
I'm stuck in my mind, my heart, my soul.
At this moment in time, I'm wandering off
Things look the same but they aren't..
Silence was appreciated in the past like u said.
Now silence is cold - strangers was what I felt.
It's not sadness nor anger, it's more of pain.
Mentally tired I am to go through this.
U know what I mean.
Eversince that day,
I had already lose you without saying anything.
I guess nothing could be done.
@de|ine=> been in a daze for days...
No passer-by... the road is empty.
What m I suppose to do?
No roadsign, no direction...
I'm stuck in my mind, my heart, my soul.
At this moment in time, I'm wandering off
Things look the same but they aren't..
Silence was appreciated in the past like u said.
Now silence is cold - strangers was what I felt.
It's not sadness nor anger, it's more of pain.
Mentally tired I am to go through this.
U know what I mean.
Eversince that day,
I had already lose you without saying anything.
I guess nothing could be done.
@de|ine=> been in a daze for days...
Saturday, July 16, 2005
Tennis gathering.
Dear diary,
Yesterday i had my inter-house tennis.. played singles but in the second round i got kicked out haha. was playing against xiangying in the first n cheryl in the second round. hmm... lucky cheryl is from owens too. hope she can help owens win :) all the best gal! After tennis, the team went out for dinner with mr low . It has about 2 to 3 months since we ate a meal together. as usual, mr low is so poor thing always got disturbed by us haha. shall not say anything here :P We had pizza den went to kfc to chit chat. I sat with grace, merilyn n mr low. I nv knew i was such a person to others eh... do i look the type who is easily bullied? do i always look like i'm always dreaming? m i the type who needs someone to shower lots of love on me in a relationship? m i someone who will not do anything really bad if i was to be provoked? haha... i dunno eh. but the way they say mi till i like cannot take care of myself eh , that i'm not fierce enough. Mr low always say i'm those qian jin xiao jie. aiyo, i'm not lor... ok la, i nv do housework at home doesn't prove that ma. in s'pore so many children also got maid at home ma. I dun like to get myself dirty also equal to qian jin xiao jie ar? hmm... maybe in a big group, i dunno how to express myself that's y i dun show alot of myself with the tennis team. anyway, surrently i'm reading a story book by nicholas sparks- the guardian. hope i can read finish by today or latest by tml. looking forward to read the last part of the story cos my fren says it's very sad.
Today i finally pluck up the courage to give u a letter n a gift. To u my dear, i had no intention to hurt ur feelings but i hope u understand that this letter i hope can bring us closer and not to pull us apart. U know that u are special to me n by giving u this letter, i hope we can clear our problems so that life still carry on. I hesitate to give to u cos i'm so afraid of losing someone like u but i gave u cos i wanna go back to the past like how we had been through the one n a half years. Like i said, if only things were as simple...
@de|ine=> back to reading!
Yesterday i had my inter-house tennis.. played singles but in the second round i got kicked out haha. was playing against xiangying in the first n cheryl in the second round. hmm... lucky cheryl is from owens too. hope she can help owens win :) all the best gal! After tennis, the team went out for dinner with mr low . It has about 2 to 3 months since we ate a meal together. as usual, mr low is so poor thing always got disturbed by us haha. shall not say anything here :P We had pizza den went to kfc to chit chat. I sat with grace, merilyn n mr low. I nv knew i was such a person to others eh... do i look the type who is easily bullied? do i always look like i'm always dreaming? m i the type who needs someone to shower lots of love on me in a relationship? m i someone who will not do anything really bad if i was to be provoked? haha... i dunno eh. but the way they say mi till i like cannot take care of myself eh , that i'm not fierce enough. Mr low always say i'm those qian jin xiao jie. aiyo, i'm not lor... ok la, i nv do housework at home doesn't prove that ma. in s'pore so many children also got maid at home ma. I dun like to get myself dirty also equal to qian jin xiao jie ar? hmm... maybe in a big group, i dunno how to express myself that's y i dun show alot of myself with the tennis team. anyway, surrently i'm reading a story book by nicholas sparks- the guardian. hope i can read finish by today or latest by tml. looking forward to read the last part of the story cos my fren says it's very sad.
Today i finally pluck up the courage to give u a letter n a gift. To u my dear, i had no intention to hurt ur feelings but i hope u understand that this letter i hope can bring us closer and not to pull us apart. U know that u are special to me n by giving u this letter, i hope we can clear our problems so that life still carry on. I hesitate to give to u cos i'm so afraid of losing someone like u but i gave u cos i wanna go back to the past like how we had been through the one n a half years. Like i said, if only things were as simple...
@de|ine=> back to reading!
Sunday, July 10, 2005
I want all the luxury in the world!
Dear diary,
It's a sunday today! As usual i had my tennis training... only one word can describe - Joy! Can't believe that i'm so into tennis now that i enjoy playing it so much :) Yesterday was my very first time i think i a little drunk haha. After tuition, I took a cab to my sunt house coz they having a birthday party for my second sunt. hee.. happy birthday! Well, met up ith all my big n cute little cousins. Kids just grow very fast n they are becoming so smart! In the near future, think at my generation really have to lower ourselves to understand them better le. So adorable .. love them all! Near to midnight... my cousins n I gathered n we talked n play games. haha... had two male cousins they were playing hmm a different version of hei bai pei. it was so funny... End up i dunno why, al of us were drinking red wine - cornerstone. Never heard before but it tastes alright la...We chatted n drink till we all lost counts of how glasses were being drunk. By ard 2.45am, all of us were like so dead. my cousins are uttering rubbish.. can't stand them. Went home at 3am... i felt sharp pain on the left side of my stomach.. tink drink too much le ba cos i nv drink so much b4. luckily my parents nv scold haha...
had to wake up at 7.30am this morning. Came home at 12pm den watch tv till 3 plus n sleep till 6pm. My sunday is gone just like this... A levels is just 4 months away.
please... let mi pull through another obstacle this year.
Everytime i think of my studies, i felt that i've disappoint my parents n myself. Perhaps i'm someone with very high aims that's why great disappointment always come. Since young... nothing goes smoothly for me like what my parents alway say.. i'm so unluckily. things always happen bad for me. just hope these are tests set by god for me n things will change for the better. I'm thankful for having the determintion to do everything in my life otherwise i'll be long be defeated by these tests. Most of all, i'm thankful for having such wonderful parents who give me a great family!
@de|ine=> emotional
It's a sunday today! As usual i had my tennis training... only one word can describe - Joy! Can't believe that i'm so into tennis now that i enjoy playing it so much :) Yesterday was my very first time i think i a little drunk haha. After tuition, I took a cab to my sunt house coz they having a birthday party for my second sunt. hee.. happy birthday! Well, met up ith all my big n cute little cousins. Kids just grow very fast n they are becoming so smart! In the near future, think at my generation really have to lower ourselves to understand them better le. So adorable .. love them all! Near to midnight... my cousins n I gathered n we talked n play games. haha... had two male cousins they were playing hmm a different version of hei bai pei. it was so funny... End up i dunno why, al of us were drinking red wine - cornerstone. Never heard before but it tastes alright la...We chatted n drink till we all lost counts of how glasses were being drunk. By ard 2.45am, all of us were like so dead. my cousins are uttering rubbish.. can't stand them. Went home at 3am... i felt sharp pain on the left side of my stomach.. tink drink too much le ba cos i nv drink so much b4. luckily my parents nv scold haha...
had to wake up at 7.30am this morning. Came home at 12pm den watch tv till 3 plus n sleep till 6pm. My sunday is gone just like this... A levels is just 4 months away.
please... let mi pull through another obstacle this year.
Everytime i think of my studies, i felt that i've disappoint my parents n myself. Perhaps i'm someone with very high aims that's why great disappointment always come. Since young... nothing goes smoothly for me like what my parents alway say.. i'm so unluckily. things always happen bad for me. just hope these are tests set by god for me n things will change for the better. I'm thankful for having the determintion to do everything in my life otherwise i'll be long be defeated by these tests. Most of all, i'm thankful for having such wonderful parents who give me a great family!
@de|ine=> emotional
Thursday, July 07, 2005
Just another day...
Dear diary,
Another week is going to pass by again... this week i'm busy with making some stuff for my friend. I totally never study at all this week. This whole week I've been sleeping for the whole afternoon n for the past two days, I've keep having nightmares so scary... it's about crime scene. Argh...hope i dun have anymore nightmares! Hmm... today is the longest day of the week cos lesson end at 4pm every thursday. Truthfully, my mind shut down at around 10.30am. throughout the day i like in a blur n sleepy mode... can't absorb anythng. We celebrated aiting, cheryl n yi wee birthday for this month during our break time. Wa, the class fund is realli o brokE lor. I just coleected 5 bucks not long ago but now left less than 40 bucks.Haha.. so if anyone from my class is reading tis hope you guys understand that is not i everytime i wan to collect money wor cos this year we spend ard 30 to 35 bucks on the cakes n cards for birthday of the month. :)
Get back chem paper for the structured de.. did rather well. glad that all my efforts are not gone down the drain.. hee. but my econ finished le lah.. mcq fail lor. i thik get ard 5 or 6 correct onli de my case study also not good at all. The only one i can rely is my essay le but i dun pin too much hope.
On youth day holiday, i went to play tennis with denis n his friends... it was fun but the sun is so scorching. PLayed from 10am to 12pm at kallang. den we go concourse after bathing to play pool n eat lunch. I nv realli play pool cos they are too good for me to anything play haha. so i went to walk walk n bought myself some stuffs for the gift i'm making. Next time wanna open party esp for kid must go concourse n buy all the party stuffs.. cheap n there r variety of fun things. Tml i'm gonna play tennis with samuel n michelle( my tennis fren) from 12 to 2.30 den at 5pm will play with mummy :) So afterall, tennis is part of my life besides sleeping so i'm not a pig wor. Lol.
I go watch tv le tata.. take care people! May blog a little lesser now cos i wanna spend more time writing in my real diary...
@de|ine=> an acheivement achieve!
Another week is going to pass by again... this week i'm busy with making some stuff for my friend. I totally never study at all this week. This whole week I've been sleeping for the whole afternoon n for the past two days, I've keep having nightmares so scary... it's about crime scene. Argh...hope i dun have anymore nightmares! Hmm... today is the longest day of the week cos lesson end at 4pm every thursday. Truthfully, my mind shut down at around 10.30am. throughout the day i like in a blur n sleepy mode... can't absorb anythng. We celebrated aiting, cheryl n yi wee birthday for this month during our break time. Wa, the class fund is realli o brokE lor. I just coleected 5 bucks not long ago but now left less than 40 bucks.Haha.. so if anyone from my class is reading tis hope you guys understand that is not i everytime i wan to collect money wor cos this year we spend ard 30 to 35 bucks on the cakes n cards for birthday of the month. :)
Get back chem paper for the structured de.. did rather well. glad that all my efforts are not gone down the drain.. hee. but my econ finished le lah.. mcq fail lor. i thik get ard 5 or 6 correct onli de my case study also not good at all. The only one i can rely is my essay le but i dun pin too much hope.
On youth day holiday, i went to play tennis with denis n his friends... it was fun but the sun is so scorching. PLayed from 10am to 12pm at kallang. den we go concourse after bathing to play pool n eat lunch. I nv realli play pool cos they are too good for me to anything play haha. so i went to walk walk n bought myself some stuffs for the gift i'm making. Next time wanna open party esp for kid must go concourse n buy all the party stuffs.. cheap n there r variety of fun things. Tml i'm gonna play tennis with samuel n michelle( my tennis fren) from 12 to 2.30 den at 5pm will play with mummy :) So afterall, tennis is part of my life besides sleeping so i'm not a pig wor. Lol.
I go watch tv le tata.. take care people! May blog a little lesser now cos i wanna spend more time writing in my real diary...
@de|ine=> an acheivement achieve!
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Slacking days
Dear diary,
School has begun... i had received my timetable n only thursday was the worst. my lesson end at 4pm on thursday... the rest erm.. mon is 1, tue n wed is 12.30 n fri is 12. quite slack la but hate thursday which is tml. Right now i'm ore worried about my coming gp test on friday ( think i will fail lo.. so long nv touch gp stuff as in do compre nor essay). Moreover, my gp tutor says no one is to fail the essay. These three days i m still in holiday mood la .. coe home n sleep like nobody business. yesterday i watched hide n seek n inital d. yupz... den today i slept for 2 n a half hour. After dinner, i went to pack my math file cos i'm the 'lucky' one to be picked for checking!~ nvm.. luckily tt i've already organised my stuff so it's rather easy just that later have to do corrections.hmm... tried to do my math assignment 33 but i see the first question n it's cracking my brains. I chose to ignore n went to watch tv n right now i'm online n watching tennis. On monday, i had tennis with mum n her friends. I love playing tennis! it's so much fun.. lots of fun! But i have a very bad habit tt is i dun like to run for the balls.. so i'll be like waiting the balls to come if not i wun hit it. Mum says i gonna change.. yupz i agree! Interhouse is coming. n i hope i can play well n sure must enjoy it! Think tonight will be stuck in front of my tv le. Wanna watch superstar n tennis. this week still not in the mood of studying... rest for one or two more weeks den try to go back my normal ba. Just hope i dun slack too much... got back my math paper. I'm quite satified with my results - 70.5,, all b'coz of my careless mistakes. hmm i have gone through my paper n make ralli alot of stupid careless mistakes. well, just make sure my a levels dun repeat the same mistakes can le right? So i sort of achieve one of my aim for this mid year ... keep going on adeline!!! Today though the day is short in school but alot of things to learn.. gosh! environment chem seems so tireous... econ is like blur. had stress management n haha i fit in all the catergories lor.. must be i very stress lol. haha.. hope it's not! sian first day of sch.. ms yamuna is there to remind us that a levels is like abt 3 months away... ok but thanks to her i need to wake up real soon away from my holiday mood.
@de|ine=> holiday mood
School has begun... i had received my timetable n only thursday was the worst. my lesson end at 4pm on thursday... the rest erm.. mon is 1, tue n wed is 12.30 n fri is 12. quite slack la but hate thursday which is tml. Right now i'm ore worried about my coming gp test on friday ( think i will fail lo.. so long nv touch gp stuff as in do compre nor essay). Moreover, my gp tutor says no one is to fail the essay. These three days i m still in holiday mood la .. coe home n sleep like nobody business. yesterday i watched hide n seek n inital d. yupz... den today i slept for 2 n a half hour. After dinner, i went to pack my math file cos i'm the 'lucky' one to be picked for checking!~ nvm.. luckily tt i've already organised my stuff so it's rather easy just that later have to do corrections.hmm... tried to do my math assignment 33 but i see the first question n it's cracking my brains. I chose to ignore n went to watch tv n right now i'm online n watching tennis. On monday, i had tennis with mum n her friends. I love playing tennis! it's so much fun.. lots of fun! But i have a very bad habit tt is i dun like to run for the balls.. so i'll be like waiting the balls to come if not i wun hit it. Mum says i gonna change.. yupz i agree! Interhouse is coming. n i hope i can play well n sure must enjoy it! Think tonight will be stuck in front of my tv le. Wanna watch superstar n tennis. this week still not in the mood of studying... rest for one or two more weeks den try to go back my normal ba. Just hope i dun slack too much... got back my math paper. I'm quite satified with my results - 70.5,, all b'coz of my careless mistakes. hmm i have gone through my paper n make ralli alot of stupid careless mistakes. well, just make sure my a levels dun repeat the same mistakes can le right? So i sort of achieve one of my aim for this mid year ... keep going on adeline!!! Today though the day is short in school but alot of things to learn.. gosh! environment chem seems so tireous... econ is like blur. had stress management n haha i fit in all the catergories lor.. must be i very stress lol. haha.. hope it's not! sian first day of sch.. ms yamuna is there to remind us that a levels is like abt 3 months away... ok but thanks to her i need to wake up real soon away from my holiday mood.
@de|ine=> holiday mood
Sunday, June 26, 2005
My days...
Dear diary,
I had just completed my mid year exams on thursday... it's like another miracle that i have gone through it. my last paper was the worst cos economics ended late den left just a few hours to study before the day ends. as usual, i try my best to keep myself awake so that i can look through at least once for all the topics. In the end, i studied till 4am, at that point of time, i no longer felt sleepy but still i think i need some sleep otherwise tml take paper will sleep haha so i slept. the next day i woke up, i was shocked! I saw myself as white as sheet, i was in a daze the whole morning till i reached school. i felt better le. After the paper, i went home. thanks dad n mum for fetching me home everyday of my papers... love ya! Because of u, i'm able to study well. hopefully i dun bring disappointment to you guys. Blessed me! After chem, i felt so relief. But i just wasn't feeling well, having my cramps .. making me no strength nor any energy at all. actually meli n i were suppose to go out n have fun but both of us were like so sian so nv go out. I came home n watch tv, lie on my sofa...soon my parents went out. i was addicted to this wonderful programme - photoimage so i was playing with it for like 3 to 4 hours. throughout the hours, i just dun feel like walking anywhere, only sit down in front of my computer. I realised i haven had a proper meal till 6 plus when my parents were back.
The next day which is friday, i went out to k-box with my fren, den we go shopping, took neo prints... (to daddy, haha thanks for the exra cash u gave me... u said to keep it a secret but in the end u told mummy lol) I bought a pair of earrings which was at sales . it's a big ring.. at first thought it looks alright but when i tried it at home it was very big la. Saw lots of stuffs i wanna buy but they r damn expensive! i told my self that next time i must earn lots of money so that i can buy whatever i like whahaha. ok.. i'm being mad right now.. having a very big bubble above my head. since young got so many dreams for the future... but very likely they are not fulfil. ok.. i'm tired le. shall stop here. goodnitez!
I had just completed my mid year exams on thursday... it's like another miracle that i have gone through it. my last paper was the worst cos economics ended late den left just a few hours to study before the day ends. as usual, i try my best to keep myself awake so that i can look through at least once for all the topics. In the end, i studied till 4am, at that point of time, i no longer felt sleepy but still i think i need some sleep otherwise tml take paper will sleep haha so i slept. the next day i woke up, i was shocked! I saw myself as white as sheet, i was in a daze the whole morning till i reached school. i felt better le. After the paper, i went home. thanks dad n mum for fetching me home everyday of my papers... love ya! Because of u, i'm able to study well. hopefully i dun bring disappointment to you guys. Blessed me! After chem, i felt so relief. But i just wasn't feeling well, having my cramps .. making me no strength nor any energy at all. actually meli n i were suppose to go out n have fun but both of us were like so sian so nv go out. I came home n watch tv, lie on my sofa...soon my parents went out. i was addicted to this wonderful programme - photoimage so i was playing with it for like 3 to 4 hours. throughout the hours, i just dun feel like walking anywhere, only sit down in front of my computer. I realised i haven had a proper meal till 6 plus when my parents were back.
The next day which is friday, i went out to k-box with my fren, den we go shopping, took neo prints... (to daddy, haha thanks for the exra cash u gave me... u said to keep it a secret but in the end u told mummy lol) I bought a pair of earrings which was at sales . it's a big ring.. at first thought it looks alright but when i tried it at home it was very big la. Saw lots of stuffs i wanna buy but they r damn expensive! i told my self that next time i must earn lots of money so that i can buy whatever i like whahaha. ok.. i'm being mad right now.. having a very big bubble above my head. since young got so many dreams for the future... but very likely they are not fulfil. ok.. i'm tired le. shall stop here. goodnitez!
Friday, June 24, 2005
All Smiles!
Dear diary,
I had a great time today... but lazy to write haha. Thank u for giving me such a wonderful day! I'm all smiles... :)
@de|ine => all smiles..
I had a great time today... but lazy to write haha. Thank u for giving me such a wonderful day! I'm all smiles... :)
@de|ine => all smiles..
Friday, June 17, 2005
Stress!!!
Dear diary,
I've been studying real hard for next week mid year... i'm studying of an average of at least 7 hours per day .. can u imagaine tt? i nv tired studying for so many many days of at least 7 hours.. gosh! I ate alot too... first time eh. usually near exam period i dun eat alot de... den will lose some weight haha.. but this time i eat alot lor. pray hard my weight dun increase... hmmm but got a few days i ate quite healthily... got influence by my gf to eat wheat bread lol. tastes yummy!!! I have look through all the topics once le... the problem now is memorising my facts! I'm really a wooden block eh... always must memorise stuffs den can .. since secondary school. i can never understand anything. Argh! hate myself for doing so.. everyone says it's not good... esp for econs is like how to memorise? so many many things.. i really dunno where to start from! ANGRY~ this week i only spend 2 days on math yet i am aiming quite high for math. hai~ so contradict right? maybe i shld just aim all pass can le.. so that my disappointment will not be great. Heard from gf that math will be difficult for this mid year... Damn stress !! recently i've been waking up real early in the monring cos i couldn't slp well but i felt so tired.. den i sleep quite late at night with my tv on cos i could not slp! yesterday i suddenly felt a strong feeling.. it's difficult to describe. my mind is totally in a blank... den all i wanted to do is to grab something to hang on. i felt so weak that i feel like collapsing... very very weird... den in a split second, i was alright den i was sitting in front of my sofa. WEIRD! is this a sign of depression or stress.. something is wrong!~ hmmm still wanna wish myself all the best. four more days to the horrorifying papers.
@de|ine=> down at the bottom of the sea searching for pearls!
I've been studying real hard for next week mid year... i'm studying of an average of at least 7 hours per day .. can u imagaine tt? i nv tired studying for so many many days of at least 7 hours.. gosh! I ate alot too... first time eh. usually near exam period i dun eat alot de... den will lose some weight haha.. but this time i eat alot lor. pray hard my weight dun increase... hmmm but got a few days i ate quite healthily... got influence by my gf to eat wheat bread lol. tastes yummy!!! I have look through all the topics once le... the problem now is memorising my facts! I'm really a wooden block eh... always must memorise stuffs den can .. since secondary school. i can never understand anything. Argh! hate myself for doing so.. everyone says it's not good... esp for econs is like how to memorise? so many many things.. i really dunno where to start from! ANGRY~ this week i only spend 2 days on math yet i am aiming quite high for math. hai~ so contradict right? maybe i shld just aim all pass can le.. so that my disappointment will not be great. Heard from gf that math will be difficult for this mid year... Damn stress !! recently i've been waking up real early in the monring cos i couldn't slp well but i felt so tired.. den i sleep quite late at night with my tv on cos i could not slp! yesterday i suddenly felt a strong feeling.. it's difficult to describe. my mind is totally in a blank... den all i wanted to do is to grab something to hang on. i felt so weak that i feel like collapsing... very very weird... den in a split second, i was alright den i was sitting in front of my sofa. WEIRD! is this a sign of depression or stress.. something is wrong!~ hmmm still wanna wish myself all the best. four more days to the horrorifying papers.
@de|ine=> down at the bottom of the sea searching for pearls!
Monday, June 13, 2005
I'm elated!!
Dear diary,
i'm feeling elated right now hee... cos i just came home from town. whaha... went out with my friend den we go bugis n orchard. lol.. bought a roxy shirt den we took neoprints. lol.. very nice wor but cannot show ppl :( hmm.. we went out at 6pm den reach home onli at 10.30. very unlucky .. we just reach bugis mrt station den my slipper spoil lor.. but i still wear it till i reached home though quite difficult to walk. haha.. cos onli bring 30 buck den dun wanna spent on slippers. Hmm... we went to bugis village n shop. actually is to relieve stress la today go out... i did math today n complex numbers really sucks! function is alright :) hmmm... tml is econ days ( i hate econ most!) what's the best thing going out is eating chocolate cake n brownies!! lol, we share hehe. den we sit at the place like quite romantic whaha ..it's really sinful having all the chocolates inside right now. opps.. these few days while i study den i eat really really alot of stuffs. think this holiday dunno gain how much weight le. die ar... plus i yesterday no tennis!! hmmm.. i keep telling myself wei le this mid year i must jia you.. but i very scare. what if i study so hard den in the end all i receive is just useless grades that does not prove my hardworkingness? *pray hard that it wun happen ok* pray pray pray... please!!! but the bad thing is i study le den i tend to forget the stuff very easily leh. hai~
i hope i can do better for math ( pray tt math paper dun so tough) den chem .. hmmm hope i can memorise the organic reactions very well. the other topics i dun care much. as for econ only aim for a pass... these are my aims for this mid year.yupz... adeline jia you!! must do it ok!
to my friend who went out with me,
i really enjoy the time we spend today cos i really felt very happy. thought the time is quite short but it's a fruitful one... first time eating such expensive chocolat cakes n brownies.. also i love the photos we took :) love ya lots!!! hee ( smiling ) *winks*
@de|ine=> reborned!
i'm feeling elated right now hee... cos i just came home from town. whaha... went out with my friend den we go bugis n orchard. lol.. bought a roxy shirt den we took neoprints. lol.. very nice wor but cannot show ppl :( hmm.. we went out at 6pm den reach home onli at 10.30. very unlucky .. we just reach bugis mrt station den my slipper spoil lor.. but i still wear it till i reached home though quite difficult to walk. haha.. cos onli bring 30 buck den dun wanna spent on slippers. Hmm... we went to bugis village n shop. actually is to relieve stress la today go out... i did math today n complex numbers really sucks! function is alright :) hmmm... tml is econ days ( i hate econ most!) what's the best thing going out is eating chocolate cake n brownies!! lol, we share hehe. den we sit at the place like quite romantic whaha ..it's really sinful having all the chocolates inside right now. opps.. these few days while i study den i eat really really alot of stuffs. think this holiday dunno gain how much weight le. die ar... plus i yesterday no tennis!! hmmm.. i keep telling myself wei le this mid year i must jia you.. but i very scare. what if i study so hard den in the end all i receive is just useless grades that does not prove my hardworkingness? *pray hard that it wun happen ok* pray pray pray... please!!! but the bad thing is i study le den i tend to forget the stuff very easily leh. hai~
i hope i can do better for math ( pray tt math paper dun so tough) den chem .. hmmm hope i can memorise the organic reactions very well. the other topics i dun care much. as for econ only aim for a pass... these are my aims for this mid year.yupz... adeline jia you!! must do it ok!
to my friend who went out with me,
i really enjoy the time we spend today cos i really felt very happy. thought the time is quite short but it's a fruitful one... first time eating such expensive chocolat cakes n brownies.. also i love the photos we took :) love ya lots!!! hee ( smiling ) *winks*
@de|ine=> reborned!
Sunday, June 12, 2005
I wish i were here with you..
Dear diary,
I felt so lucky yet upset... I felt so lucky to have my parents with me cos without them, i won't be able to see the wonders of this world. I'm thankful especially to my daddy for him working so hard to give my family a comfortable life n giving us all that he could. Supporting me in my education so that i will have a better future. I love you daddy more than anything in this world ... Since young, u are always my hero. you taught me how to walk through my tough times, giving me advice n be there for me. At times, when u n i were alone talking... i felt the warmth that u gave me. The jokes that u said are so funny... u have a wonderful brain which i admire alot!!! How i wish i had too. Wishing you a Happy Father's Day! Love ya daddy...
I'm upset today cos not everyone has the chance to be enjoying celebrating Father's Day.
My dear cousin, i wanna let u know that even though ur dad has left u but he will always be there with you no matter where you go. I know just like me, our daddy place an important role in our lives. Even if everyone is there to console U, it's tough to overcome what had happened. Remember that you are not alone, i'll always be there for you . i'm just a call away from you... right now, u must be feeling lost. I dunno how to console you but hopefully soon u will become the cheerful gal like the past. Do know that your daddy will want you to be happy n move on with your life. He will always be with you.. alway~ Love ya gal.. cheer up :)
[remember to eat ok?] i'll always be there for u!
@de|ine => i'm thankful.
I felt so lucky yet upset... I felt so lucky to have my parents with me cos without them, i won't be able to see the wonders of this world. I'm thankful especially to my daddy for him working so hard to give my family a comfortable life n giving us all that he could. Supporting me in my education so that i will have a better future. I love you daddy more than anything in this world ... Since young, u are always my hero. you taught me how to walk through my tough times, giving me advice n be there for me. At times, when u n i were alone talking... i felt the warmth that u gave me. The jokes that u said are so funny... u have a wonderful brain which i admire alot!!! How i wish i had too. Wishing you a Happy Father's Day! Love ya daddy...
I'm upset today cos not everyone has the chance to be enjoying celebrating Father's Day.
My dear cousin, i wanna let u know that even though ur dad has left u but he will always be there with you no matter where you go. I know just like me, our daddy place an important role in our lives. Even if everyone is there to console U, it's tough to overcome what had happened. Remember that you are not alone, i'll always be there for you . i'm just a call away from you... right now, u must be feeling lost. I dunno how to console you but hopefully soon u will become the cheerful gal like the past. Do know that your daddy will want you to be happy n move on with your life. He will always be with you.. alway~ Love ya gal.. cheer up :)
[remember to eat ok?] i'll always be there for u!
@de|ine => i'm thankful.
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
My tooth is hurting~
Dear diary,
My tooth is hurting so badly! Ouch!.. it has been three days , i told my parents n they just told mi to drink more water. pray hard that i'm not having my wisdom tooth cos gf says it's very painful to remove it :( Nowadays, i dun really talk alot to you le... cos talking to you just hurts me. Yesterday i had a dream... i dreamt of u being angry with me but i dunno the reason. we were suppose to sit together in the bus but u won't allow me to... so i sat behind. i suspect the reason for u being angry is b'cos perhaps u have read my blog. (If ever one day u were to see this, i wanna let u know that it's not i don't wanna talk to u abt it cos i'm so afraid to lose you someone whom was my best friend but now i wun dare to say we are... just that we are still close.) When i woke up, i pray so hard that this didn't happen at all n i'm glad that it din.. it was just a dream. Went to school for econs n got back my econ script .. i just passed. After class, we celebrated yan qin's early birthday which is on 16th june. Then, i went home, had so much hesitation when i was eating my lunch cos my tooth just hurts. After lunch which took a long time to finished eating, i went to my bed. I tried to sleep , was rocking on my bed, rolling on my bed... only managed to slp maybe after an hr. Stupid tooth!! felt like removing it so much. Woke up at 2pm. At 3pm, i went out with my carboxylic acid notes, wallet n hp. Walked around my neighbourhood for abt 30 minutes .. felt really relaxed n i wish i hadn't have to stop walking... den i walked to the linrary n sat down to read my carboxylic acid notes... went around the library n pick up a few books - poems.. i read n was so engrossed with it. some were sad but some were so encouraging... at ard 6 plos, i walked home again. Did not have my dinner cos i dun have appetite. watch tv throughout the night till 10pm,n i'm online :)No mood to study le!!! argh.. i hate exams! always feel so restricted , gulity , useless ... i always want to be free! When is the day coming? *wonder*
@deline=> it's a bad day!
My tooth is hurting so badly! Ouch!.. it has been three days , i told my parents n they just told mi to drink more water. pray hard that i'm not having my wisdom tooth cos gf says it's very painful to remove it :( Nowadays, i dun really talk alot to you le... cos talking to you just hurts me. Yesterday i had a dream... i dreamt of u being angry with me but i dunno the reason. we were suppose to sit together in the bus but u won't allow me to... so i sat behind. i suspect the reason for u being angry is b'cos perhaps u have read my blog. (If ever one day u were to see this, i wanna let u know that it's not i don't wanna talk to u abt it cos i'm so afraid to lose you someone whom was my best friend but now i wun dare to say we are... just that we are still close.) When i woke up, i pray so hard that this didn't happen at all n i'm glad that it din.. it was just a dream. Went to school for econs n got back my econ script .. i just passed. After class, we celebrated yan qin's early birthday which is on 16th june. Then, i went home, had so much hesitation when i was eating my lunch cos my tooth just hurts. After lunch which took a long time to finished eating, i went to my bed. I tried to sleep , was rocking on my bed, rolling on my bed... only managed to slp maybe after an hr. Stupid tooth!! felt like removing it so much. Woke up at 2pm. At 3pm, i went out with my carboxylic acid notes, wallet n hp. Walked around my neighbourhood for abt 30 minutes .. felt really relaxed n i wish i hadn't have to stop walking... den i walked to the linrary n sat down to read my carboxylic acid notes... went around the library n pick up a few books - poems.. i read n was so engrossed with it. some were sad but some were so encouraging... at ard 6 plos, i walked home again. Did not have my dinner cos i dun have appetite. watch tv throughout the night till 10pm,n i'm online :)No mood to study le!!! argh.. i hate exams! always feel so restricted , gulity , useless ... i always want to be free! When is the day coming? *wonder*
@deline=> it's a bad day!
Friday, June 03, 2005
Why do i feel this way?
Dear diary,
i'm feeling real down right now.. i'm lost. i feel like going out .. away from everyone cos i felt so cheated throughout my whole life. I'm not sure if this is a moment of being rash or it's really what i think is just my own feelings n imagination. just before i grumble, i would like to thanks melissa n my friends for accompanying mi out yesterday. nice to see u all again... mel n i went shopping den jx join us as usual... after that i meet my secondary school classmates( melvin, wai leong n winson) to watch movie - cursed.. i din realli know what it was about but i was frightened at some parts of the movie. den we went to eat near the esplande-makansutra. after we hav eaten , we went near to the sea, i like the feeling-the feeling of peace as the wind blows away all my troubles. Reached home only after 12am.. woke up this morning den slack slack till afternnon went shopping wif mummy. lol, we went to pray den go bugis village n i brought another top.. oh ya yes mel n i bought the same top but diff colour. quite cool ya? yupz, den we shop till 6 plus n i went to meet zy who make mi walk for so long to reach west coast park. make mi sweat like one kind! haha, but it's kinda of fun to walk with him cos he make mi laugh all the way...but still scare tt he bring mi anyhow walk ... luckily we reached there but it's like 30-45 minutes lor. the bbq was alright cos we dunno alot of ppl.. so i left shortly after mel left...
During my bus journey, i've been thinking alot... i think about my friendship with my close friend. I cried cos i felt disappointed, i felt being used, i felt like a fool... maybe all these are just my thinkings n it's unfair to say u these way cos maybe u nv feel that u treated mi like this before. Or maybe being unattached i can't feel the way u have for him.. that he is more important than ur 'best friend'. well, i can't balme u for i know what type of person he is... but i'm upset with u cos u dun realise that u have neglected ur friend. What m i to you? A ball? so when u r sad, when u r happy, when u really need someone to talk to n couldn't find one.. u'll find mi? will update someday again.. i can't take it anymore .. my eyes r hurting.. i felt so heavy, my eyes are full of liquid that i can't see what i'm typing..
i'm feeling real down right now.. i'm lost. i feel like going out .. away from everyone cos i felt so cheated throughout my whole life. I'm not sure if this is a moment of being rash or it's really what i think is just my own feelings n imagination. just before i grumble, i would like to thanks melissa n my friends for accompanying mi out yesterday. nice to see u all again... mel n i went shopping den jx join us as usual... after that i meet my secondary school classmates( melvin, wai leong n winson) to watch movie - cursed.. i din realli know what it was about but i was frightened at some parts of the movie. den we went to eat near the esplande-makansutra. after we hav eaten , we went near to the sea, i like the feeling-the feeling of peace as the wind blows away all my troubles. Reached home only after 12am.. woke up this morning den slack slack till afternnon went shopping wif mummy. lol, we went to pray den go bugis village n i brought another top.. oh ya yes mel n i bought the same top but diff colour. quite cool ya? yupz, den we shop till 6 plus n i went to meet zy who make mi walk for so long to reach west coast park. make mi sweat like one kind! haha, but it's kinda of fun to walk with him cos he make mi laugh all the way...but still scare tt he bring mi anyhow walk ... luckily we reached there but it's like 30-45 minutes lor. the bbq was alright cos we dunno alot of ppl.. so i left shortly after mel left...
During my bus journey, i've been thinking alot... i think about my friendship with my close friend. I cried cos i felt disappointed, i felt being used, i felt like a fool... maybe all these are just my thinkings n it's unfair to say u these way cos maybe u nv feel that u treated mi like this before. Or maybe being unattached i can't feel the way u have for him.. that he is more important than ur 'best friend'. well, i can't balme u for i know what type of person he is... but i'm upset with u cos u dun realise that u have neglected ur friend. What m i to you? A ball? so when u r sad, when u r happy, when u really need someone to talk to n couldn't find one.. u'll find mi? will update someday again.. i can't take it anymore .. my eyes r hurting.. i felt so heavy, my eyes are full of liquid that i can't see what i'm typing..
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Have you ever ...
Dear diary,
this morning I woke up n i just got the urge to write this...
Have you ever...
Have you ever wonder how it feels to be alone?
The feeling of nobody understands you.
The feeling of nobody cares for you.
And you don't know why are you here.
Have you ever sat down and your tears just flow?
The feeling of nobody is around you.
The feeling of being outcast by the world.
And you don't know why are you crying.
Have you ever shout at someone whom didn't anger you?
The feeling of people questioning you.
The feeling of people not trusting you.
And you don't know the reason behind.
Have you ever feel like escaping?
The feeling of being a carefree bird.
The feeling of being whom you want.
And you don't know how to realize it.
adeline
10.05a.m.
31-05-2005
In life, we encounter so many so many feelings that at times, we just didn't know how to react to them neither do we know why do we have this feeling. I think that is what makes human being special from all other livings things...
this morning I woke up n i just got the urge to write this...
Have you ever...
Have you ever wonder how it feels to be alone?
The feeling of nobody understands you.
The feeling of nobody cares for you.
And you don't know why are you here.
Have you ever sat down and your tears just flow?
The feeling of nobody is around you.
The feeling of being outcast by the world.
And you don't know why are you crying.
Have you ever shout at someone whom didn't anger you?
The feeling of people questioning you.
The feeling of people not trusting you.
And you don't know the reason behind.
Have you ever feel like escaping?
The feeling of being a carefree bird.
The feeling of being whom you want.
And you don't know how to realize it.
adeline
10.05a.m.
31-05-2005
In life, we encounter so many so many feelings that at times, we just didn't know how to react to them neither do we know why do we have this feeling. I think that is what makes human being special from all other livings things...
Monday, May 30, 2005
SuMmEr SeAsOnS
Dear diary,
It's the beginning of the summer seasons.. n we are supposed to be having fun in the beach or out there in town for the great singapore sales... but things just weren't mean that way for my schoolmates n mi ba. It is exactly 3 weeks away from mid year exams. I studies econ - banking and monetary . still halfway through cos i'm taking my time. so far i only remember the motives for demanding money . quite happy le.. cos at least i started. hmm.. this week, i'm gonna pick a day out to watch movie, go town n nowadays i got the urge to have another new ear hole.. (opps, m a bad gal)this friday, i'm already booked to go for a bbq so is either tml or thursday. hmm i hate going school during holidays , y can't we have our own free time! what's worst is how can they place mid year exams during june holidays? hai~..next week have to go back school! recently, i just had a haircut n i quite like it cos it makes my hair very light. Last friday, we end school at 11.30 den zhanyu bring mi out of school though it's against the school rule where we can only step out of school at 1pm. It was my first time, so i was really very scare n borrow early leave form from junyang.. When the uncle ask mi, i just show him the form .. whew, my heart was beating very fast. Hmmm.. went to far east wif mum n dad to cut my hair. the hairdresser's hair very cool! I din tell him how i wan my hair to be den he just cut n it looks nice. it's step-layer. mum saw n she says she also wanna cut. my dad was becoming very impatiet cos both of us took 2 hrs plus to had our hair cut done. i walked round far east n saw some stuffs i wanna buy but dare not ask cos dad looks rather unhappy. saw a pair of slippers for 19.90 n a top for 20+. I'm waiting for melissa to see when she free den can go n shop. yesterday had my tennis training n after palying for 45 minutes, i felt like fainting just like the other day. think i'm under the sun too long. Feels nice to pay with the new string though sometimes the sound it make sounds awful! the rest of today i will be watching tennis le. it's the tennis season! so many good n young players this french open.. got one is as young as 15 n what's cooler is tt she beats serena william! haha.. good job!! wanna see who's winning this french open think maria got a high chance as usual. russians girls are just damn good .. so many of them in the top 16.
@de|ine=> resting
It's the beginning of the summer seasons.. n we are supposed to be having fun in the beach or out there in town for the great singapore sales... but things just weren't mean that way for my schoolmates n mi ba. It is exactly 3 weeks away from mid year exams. I studies econ - banking and monetary . still halfway through cos i'm taking my time. so far i only remember the motives for demanding money . quite happy le.. cos at least i started. hmm.. this week, i'm gonna pick a day out to watch movie, go town n nowadays i got the urge to have another new ear hole.. (opps, m a bad gal)this friday, i'm already booked to go for a bbq so is either tml or thursday. hmm i hate going school during holidays , y can't we have our own free time! what's worst is how can they place mid year exams during june holidays? hai~..next week have to go back school! recently, i just had a haircut n i quite like it cos it makes my hair very light. Last friday, we end school at 11.30 den zhanyu bring mi out of school though it's against the school rule where we can only step out of school at 1pm. It was my first time, so i was really very scare n borrow early leave form from junyang.. When the uncle ask mi, i just show him the form .. whew, my heart was beating very fast. Hmmm.. went to far east wif mum n dad to cut my hair. the hairdresser's hair very cool! I din tell him how i wan my hair to be den he just cut n it looks nice. it's step-layer. mum saw n she says she also wanna cut. my dad was becoming very impatiet cos both of us took 2 hrs plus to had our hair cut done. i walked round far east n saw some stuffs i wanna buy but dare not ask cos dad looks rather unhappy. saw a pair of slippers for 19.90 n a top for 20+. I'm waiting for melissa to see when she free den can go n shop. yesterday had my tennis training n after palying for 45 minutes, i felt like fainting just like the other day. think i'm under the sun too long. Feels nice to pay with the new string though sometimes the sound it make sounds awful! the rest of today i will be watching tennis le. it's the tennis season! so many good n young players this french open.. got one is as young as 15 n what's cooler is tt she beats serena william! haha.. good job!! wanna see who's winning this french open think maria got a high chance as usual. russians girls are just damn good .. so many of them in the top 16.
@de|ine=> resting
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Hell of a 'nice' world!
Sitting right here, my mind is so BLANK
I hate myself for being who i m right NOW
I'm not who I used to be.
Someone i DUN even wanna become...
Everytime i tried to turn around i FAILED!
All i could do is to ask WHY?
At times i just FELL down n let my TEARS flow
There isn't any STRENGTH for me to walk on
I felt so USELESS
dISAPPOINMENT goes n comes again
Each time i had to face the STORMY day
I tried to ESCAPE
When i'm all ALONE, all i do is to go to my DREAMLAND
Cos i know, that's where i wanna GO
But i know if this continue, I'll be SUFFERING all my life
Yet i can't bring myself to CHANGE it
One point of my life, i felt my fren dun TRUST me
I remember her WORDS that day.
It SADENED me but i didn't mentioned anything
Back on my bed, i thought if she was really the one i'm LOOKING for
If our FRIENDSHIP has come to a point where TRUST DOES NOT exist,
I would choose to gave up EVERYTHING including you
Cos I wouldn't want myself to get HURT again - EVER.
Ur one sentence change my THOUGHTS everytime i see u
Sometimes, i WONDER if u believe what i said
Or was it something that u just accept n said another about it
I DUNNO...
Cos all i could SENSE is the trust has gone eversince that day
Perhaps there ISN'T a real friend in this world
Everyone just wear a MASK
If so, WHY let each other to be met?
Even after meeting, someday the mask will DISAPPEAR
Soon, u'll realise that everything was just a LIE
A LIE! After so much we have gone through, it all turn out to be just a drama
Reality comes by, once again u r left alone facing the HARSH world
As much as i wanna run away, i couldn't
Only when i STOPPED breathing, i can really enter my DREAMLAND forever.
I wanna be ALONE! Leave me in my world of IMAGINATIVE friends. the ones i REALLY yearn for ... I HATE this world.. wishing i was NEVER even born!
I hate myself for being who i m right NOW
I'm not who I used to be.
Someone i DUN even wanna become...
Everytime i tried to turn around i FAILED!
All i could do is to ask WHY?
At times i just FELL down n let my TEARS flow
There isn't any STRENGTH for me to walk on
I felt so USELESS
dISAPPOINMENT goes n comes again
Each time i had to face the STORMY day
I tried to ESCAPE
When i'm all ALONE, all i do is to go to my DREAMLAND
Cos i know, that's where i wanna GO
But i know if this continue, I'll be SUFFERING all my life
Yet i can't bring myself to CHANGE it
One point of my life, i felt my fren dun TRUST me
I remember her WORDS that day.
It SADENED me but i didn't mentioned anything
Back on my bed, i thought if she was really the one i'm LOOKING for
If our FRIENDSHIP has come to a point where TRUST DOES NOT exist,
I would choose to gave up EVERYTHING including you
Cos I wouldn't want myself to get HURT again - EVER.
Ur one sentence change my THOUGHTS everytime i see u
Sometimes, i WONDER if u believe what i said
Or was it something that u just accept n said another about it
I DUNNO...
Cos all i could SENSE is the trust has gone eversince that day
Perhaps there ISN'T a real friend in this world
Everyone just wear a MASK
If so, WHY let each other to be met?
Even after meeting, someday the mask will DISAPPEAR
Soon, u'll realise that everything was just a LIE
A LIE! After so much we have gone through, it all turn out to be just a drama
Reality comes by, once again u r left alone facing the HARSH world
As much as i wanna run away, i couldn't
Only when i STOPPED breathing, i can really enter my DREAMLAND forever.
I wanna be ALONE! Leave me in my world of IMAGINATIVE friends. the ones i REALLY yearn for ... I HATE this world.. wishing i was NEVER even born!
Saturday, May 21, 2005
A touching book
Dear diary,
Good morning! It's now 10.07am n i woke up about half an hour ago. had a fitfull sleep yesterday cos i slept at 10am. Pig rite? but i was tired... school ended early at 10 den once i reached home, i rested for a while den went to the hair salon. Yupz.. when i came home, i met ee mei n yuan xun. eh.. thot i was rather rude cos i like want to rush home so nv talk alot to them... yesterday was yuan xun b'day so ya.. once again happy 18th birthday! At around 5pm, i went out with my sister cynthia to city link n suntec just to walk walk lor but she looked so sleepy den like not very fun. anyway, saw some nice stuffs.. quite conteented le cos i haven't been going to town for a long time. I never buy anything eh.. haha. MiracLE.. Hmm.. this week is coming to an end soon. During one of day in this week, i was reading a book 'A Child name 'IT'' It was a nice n rather saddening book.. i took it out n read cos nothing to do .. but before i knew it, i was crying like river flowing down my cheeks. So sad.. just felt like killing the mother so as to end his horrifying life with all sorts of sufferings.. This is a true story n i can't imgine if i were the boy, how i able to take it? I think i would have just kill myself... So far, this is the only book that make me cries throughout the whole story like every a few minutes. Today. ee mei is celebrating her 18th b'day but i cannot go cos got math tuition which ended at 7.30pm. ya lor.. den i think by the time i reach there it's so late le. Hopefully, u have a great day ya? Actually felt like going cos all my secondary schools mates all there... hai~ Alright.. needa get the day started by eating my breakfast! tata
@de|ine=> afresh!
Good morning! It's now 10.07am n i woke up about half an hour ago. had a fitfull sleep yesterday cos i slept at 10am. Pig rite? but i was tired... school ended early at 10 den once i reached home, i rested for a while den went to the hair salon. Yupz.. when i came home, i met ee mei n yuan xun. eh.. thot i was rather rude cos i like want to rush home so nv talk alot to them... yesterday was yuan xun b'day so ya.. once again happy 18th birthday! At around 5pm, i went out with my sister cynthia to city link n suntec just to walk walk lor but she looked so sleepy den like not very fun. anyway, saw some nice stuffs.. quite conteented le cos i haven't been going to town for a long time. I never buy anything eh.. haha. MiracLE.. Hmm.. this week is coming to an end soon. During one of day in this week, i was reading a book 'A Child name 'IT'' It was a nice n rather saddening book.. i took it out n read cos nothing to do .. but before i knew it, i was crying like river flowing down my cheeks. So sad.. just felt like killing the mother so as to end his horrifying life with all sorts of sufferings.. This is a true story n i can't imgine if i were the boy, how i able to take it? I think i would have just kill myself... So far, this is the only book that make me cries throughout the whole story like every a few minutes. Today. ee mei is celebrating her 18th b'day but i cannot go cos got math tuition which ended at 7.30pm. ya lor.. den i think by the time i reach there it's so late le. Hopefully, u have a great day ya? Actually felt like going cos all my secondary schools mates all there... hai~ Alright.. needa get the day started by eating my breakfast! tata
@de|ine=> afresh!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Hope i'm fine
Dear diary,
argh.. just now type halfway den hand itchy go n click on else thing! Was saying tt i haven been blogging for like 13 days le. Hmm.. this 2 weeks have been studying cos of common test but i didn't do well sob sob. Well, life is full of up n down , i haven gotten over it le. Last thursday, i pon yoga den go shopping with meli at log 1 to buy present for yvette n wenli. we walk for a long time den cannot find till we went to more than words. Wah.. i must say meli is a great shopper . she grabs thing as if it is free wor. Haha.. we manage to bought their gifts den i walk to one of the shops we went in just now to buy my favourite collection - earrings . whaha.. it's cheap la so i buy hee. i gave meli one . hte next day she wore it but teacher says cannot. den sun had my usual training but what is special is that i broke my string... after playing so long finally i broke it yea so happy! haha.. think others will think i'm mad but it's a good sign!~ Den monday we got release early.. slacker ms yamuna lol. but continue to do so! K... back to today, i had my guitar lesson den we r learning on two songs.. qing fei de yi n guan huai fang shi. I think guan huai fang shi easier but still my fingers r hurting... ouch. Wonder when den can i play the song fast enough... alright enough for today le.. i wanna do watch tv den maybe later go try out my guitar again.. den see needa do econ anot. hope i dun need to den today can slack whaha.. this week i'm a big time slacker cos usually i'm just a slacker. haha.. lame. tml got tennis wif mum... n yoga in sch (bore)
@de|ine=> i'm happy
argh.. just now type halfway den hand itchy go n click on else thing! Was saying tt i haven been blogging for like 13 days le. Hmm.. this 2 weeks have been studying cos of common test but i didn't do well sob sob. Well, life is full of up n down , i haven gotten over it le. Last thursday, i pon yoga den go shopping with meli at log 1 to buy present for yvette n wenli. we walk for a long time den cannot find till we went to more than words. Wah.. i must say meli is a great shopper . she grabs thing as if it is free wor. Haha.. we manage to bought their gifts den i walk to one of the shops we went in just now to buy my favourite collection - earrings . whaha.. it's cheap la so i buy hee. i gave meli one . hte next day she wore it but teacher says cannot. den sun had my usual training but what is special is that i broke my string... after playing so long finally i broke it yea so happy! haha.. think others will think i'm mad but it's a good sign!~ Den monday we got release early.. slacker ms yamuna lol. but continue to do so! K... back to today, i had my guitar lesson den we r learning on two songs.. qing fei de yi n guan huai fang shi. I think guan huai fang shi easier but still my fingers r hurting... ouch. Wonder when den can i play the song fast enough... alright enough for today le.. i wanna do watch tv den maybe later go try out my guitar again.. den see needa do econ anot. hope i dun need to den today can slack whaha.. this week i'm a big time slacker cos usually i'm just a slacker. haha.. lame. tml got tennis wif mum... n yoga in sch (bore)
@de|ine=> i'm happy
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
When will i be motivated? continuation...
Dear diary,
I'm continuing what happen during my long weekend. On monday, i woke up at about 9 plus so thati can study economics. But this alway happen... during the public holidays n weekends, my sisters whom i'm saring room with always wake up very late. Then i cannot study lor cos if i switch on the light den they wil complain , also i need to turn on the music to study. Thot i can study outside but dad is using the computer n turning on his music till so loud. I was quite angry then cos this house does not provide a good environment den no one cares about you la. I went into my room, pack my bag n went out of the house. I went to delifrance at anchorpoint , bought ice mocha n sat down . Thoughts running through my mind.. really thought og leaving the house after what have happen. It may be a small thing but at that point of time, i couldn't help it but thinking that it doesn't matter if i'm part of the family anot.
The econ test was ok but i dunno if i can pass it cos case study is so tough la. been having the urge to play tennis today so i sms my mum during econ to ask her book tennis court tmr. I totally forget that friday got chem test la but nvm .. i miss playing tennis.
Had my guitar lessonm today.. i finally learn how to play some chords hmm : C, D Em , G.. but my fingers are hurting le. sob sob.. painful~ must have determination!
@de|ine=> wanna slack!
I'm continuing what happen during my long weekend. On monday, i woke up at about 9 plus so thati can study economics. But this alway happen... during the public holidays n weekends, my sisters whom i'm saring room with always wake up very late. Then i cannot study lor cos if i switch on the light den they wil complain , also i need to turn on the music to study. Thot i can study outside but dad is using the computer n turning on his music till so loud. I was quite angry then cos this house does not provide a good environment den no one cares about you la. I went into my room, pack my bag n went out of the house. I went to delifrance at anchorpoint , bought ice mocha n sat down . Thoughts running through my mind.. really thought og leaving the house after what have happen. It may be a small thing but at that point of time, i couldn't help it but thinking that it doesn't matter if i'm part of the family anot.
The econ test was ok but i dunno if i can pass it cos case study is so tough la. been having the urge to play tennis today so i sms my mum during econ to ask her book tennis court tmr. I totally forget that friday got chem test la but nvm .. i miss playing tennis.
Had my guitar lessonm today.. i finally learn how to play some chords hmm : C, D Em , G.. but my fingers are hurting le. sob sob.. painful~ must have determination!
@de|ine=> wanna slack!
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
When will i be motivated?
Dear diary,
Had my economics common test n chemistry class test today... My long weekend has just ended but i didn't enjoyed it at all. I started to read econ on saturday for the whole morning n i was really very frustated cos i could not figure a single thing out! After reading topic 3 - national in come accounting, i sat down at my bed. I just felt like crying. Questions flooded my head making me dizzy that i just wanna faint. I asked myself if i were so stupid n brainless that i could not even know what i'm reading? Was it my fault that i'm in this state.. hai~ perhaps ba.. if only i had not choose this subject den things might not be as bad. After being angry with myself, i had no choice but to turn to my friends.. looking through my hp contacts, i called cheryl. Den ask her if sunday she is free to study together den she can teach mi.. luckily she agreed! thanks alot cheryl.
On sunday, i went for tennis training without breakfast... Michelle wanna study chemistry so cannot make it for tennis training so i was alone.. i must say that training alone is tough n tiring. near to the end of the training, i was like so wobbly n my sight seems to be blurrin g so i have to ask my coach to stop. Most likely is due to me not have my breakfast.. thanks to guanghui having that muffin with him . haha. i ate half of it n felt much better. Went off to macdonald to meet cheryl .. den we ate n started studying at 11.30 till 5.30. I began to understand abit more n was rather happy although haven i memorise my facts. We did slack for like an hour n a half , went to boon lay shopping to buy kinder also we share filet meal at about 3 plus. Cheryl was sick den she brought a 1.5L of water to mac. lol.. i would not dare to bring it cos like very funny but after seeing her doing that.. next time if i'm not feeling well, i might do that too. That night, i was in my aunt house cos they are celebrating early mother's day. Didn't wanna go cos i hot study for my test more important but i went cos mum was not happy about it. As expected, going there is a waste of my time . But i chatted with my cousins who are 23 n 22 years old .. they used to be in jjc too. Talking to them make me feel that i'm going to flunk my A Levels... It was 11.30pm n i wanted to go home le so that i can study so went to hurry my parents but they drag till 1.30 lo. argh.. sometimes they just dun understand our thinking. At that point of time, i felt like 'scolding' them... telling them if i were to fail my grades is not my fault but theirs! of cos i didn't, if i were to say that i will regret in the future..so better not be rash. think i stop here n continue another day.. the long weekend just wasn't good at all.. so many thoughts n things happening.. i wish i m alone at times.
@de|ine=> tired but still hanging on..
Had my economics common test n chemistry class test today... My long weekend has just ended but i didn't enjoyed it at all. I started to read econ on saturday for the whole morning n i was really very frustated cos i could not figure a single thing out! After reading topic 3 - national in come accounting, i sat down at my bed. I just felt like crying. Questions flooded my head making me dizzy that i just wanna faint. I asked myself if i were so stupid n brainless that i could not even know what i'm reading? Was it my fault that i'm in this state.. hai~ perhaps ba.. if only i had not choose this subject den things might not be as bad. After being angry with myself, i had no choice but to turn to my friends.. looking through my hp contacts, i called cheryl. Den ask her if sunday she is free to study together den she can teach mi.. luckily she agreed! thanks alot cheryl.
On sunday, i went for tennis training without breakfast... Michelle wanna study chemistry so cannot make it for tennis training so i was alone.. i must say that training alone is tough n tiring. near to the end of the training, i was like so wobbly n my sight seems to be blurrin g so i have to ask my coach to stop. Most likely is due to me not have my breakfast.. thanks to guanghui having that muffin with him . haha. i ate half of it n felt much better. Went off to macdonald to meet cheryl .. den we ate n started studying at 11.30 till 5.30. I began to understand abit more n was rather happy although haven i memorise my facts. We did slack for like an hour n a half , went to boon lay shopping to buy kinder also we share filet meal at about 3 plus. Cheryl was sick den she brought a 1.5L of water to mac. lol.. i would not dare to bring it cos like very funny but after seeing her doing that.. next time if i'm not feeling well, i might do that too. That night, i was in my aunt house cos they are celebrating early mother's day. Didn't wanna go cos i hot study for my test more important but i went cos mum was not happy about it. As expected, going there is a waste of my time . But i chatted with my cousins who are 23 n 22 years old .. they used to be in jjc too. Talking to them make me feel that i'm going to flunk my A Levels... It was 11.30pm n i wanted to go home le so that i can study so went to hurry my parents but they drag till 1.30 lo. argh.. sometimes they just dun understand our thinking. At that point of time, i felt like 'scolding' them... telling them if i were to fail my grades is not my fault but theirs! of cos i didn't, if i were to say that i will regret in the future..so better not be rash. think i stop here n continue another day.. the long weekend just wasn't good at all.. so many thoughts n things happening.. i wish i m alone at times.
@de|ine=> tired but still hanging on..
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