Dear diary.

I'm feeling so happy today! It is teachers' day n i sort of quite high cos it is our last year celeberating teachers' day. yesterday i spent hours doing a 'card' for mr low on behalf for the tennis gals. the card is full of roger federer pictures.. his idol! yupz.. i enjoy the performance put up by then new teachers... den oh ya we also bought a nike watch for mr low. His fav too..
reach home at 10.. hurry to find pictures of daddy n mummy. den print it out before they r home. Den i paste them on construction paper n decorate them. wactch tv till 1pm n slept till 4. pig right? i woke up n read chem equilibrium. i flunk my physical cehm test.. so sad though i knew i'm gonna flunk. hai~.. like mich says prelim is just 12 days away.. i nv tried having a full paper before. Can only do well in topical tests in the past, i think this time i will still be dead. I'm still far from finishing half of my syallbus cos i nv touch econ except 1 topic. i hate economics!!!
Went for dinner with my aunt to celebrate daddy bday den bought him to esplande ( chocolate bar!!) we reach there quite late den can only order drinks. but we wanted to eat the desert so we like keep asking. finally, the girl says ok though she looks abit bu shuang. The guy is better.. he was much friendlier. yummy was all i could say.
I love daddy lots n lots.. more than anything in this world! I dun wanna disappoint him for my 'a'levels but now i needa overcome the problem of time shortage! Die die also must try to pass my subjects. All my wish for daddy is to stay healthy!

@de|ine=> thankful for a happy family!

Bad week again

Dear diary,

i feel like every thing is happening again.. what happen to me in the past repeats.This whole day hasn't been that great afterall. n definitely, tomorrow wun be any better esp when there is gp paper ( my worst subject) On monday, we had our mock math paper. the questions are not as difficult if i had study harder for it. However, i'm glad to see that they are not so alien to me , at least i know how to start all the questions. Tuwsday went home to study for chemistry though i had math paper as well. I study from 3.30 to 2am, trying hard to know what is going on for ionic quilibrium. Just can't get myself to understand it. The paper really was a disaster... i nv felt the way i had ydt after the paper. it was really really frustrating n i knew i'm going to flunk the paper badly. Not a single question i got it correct when ms yamuna came in for the last lesson which really turn me off. Just after a motivated talk, the next lesson was hers. I do agree with her that we are not performing well but not her assumption that we flop the paper cos we have two tests today. Because i knew everyone study for chemistry and not math. The paper wasn't difficult at all after she gone through it but they just weren't so straightforward. Also there isn't really enough time to complete the paper for a few of us... i hate to see this happen when it is so near to our major exam. I was thinking that if i do well for this paper, i can so call complete my revision for physical chem but nope, it demoralised me cos despite the effort i put, i get nothing out of it. Hope it doesn't mean my grade for chem is going worst cos in the past once my grade drop before a major exam, it always bring me sth bad. pray hard it wun!
Went home ydt anly at 7pm , my brother pick mi home. at ard 8plus, i felt pain ard my eye. i told my mum but she nv say anything... only at 11 plus i felt sth different den look into the mirror n realise my left eye is swollen. haha.. thot today can dun go school le. morning woke up, it became worst but i dun wanna miss lessons so go school lor. It subside after a few hours so i thot nothing lor but during econ lesson, it started swelling again. by then , i already got an early form from mdm lim. thinking if should go for gp anot cos tml got mock paper ma. when asked who is lecturing, haha it solve my problem. cos mr chan is going to lecture n i dun think will learn anything much. so went home! step out of school, my eye like better alot le. ah ha.. the problem lies within the school. go home n slp for very long... woke up to watch da chang jin. so sad... my eye got swollen again. mum ask mi to go se doctor tml during break cos now all the clinics are close! see how first... ok needa do half of revision 7 before i can go slp...
hope tml gp can pass can le.
@de|ine => swell eye

dear diary,

it had been a busy week due to all the tests. But i had survive them all :) Went to school on monday with a heavy heart knowing it'll be a busy week. On my way to chem lab, i was in a daze till meli ask mi ' did u hear what they say?' cos we met keng ee, cheryl n yvette.. i say 'no' den she says... miss yamuna says there is no chem prac, den wan us to do self revision cos wed got chem test on 3 topics. My mood totally change... hate to do things last minute!! moreover, we have tests on tue n wed.. den she only give us two days to prepare. End up we go lib to study.. lucky still got bring one set of notes.
Tuesday
Drq as usal always fail so nv place high hopes on it too but of cos if pass i'll be glad! nothing special cos wed got two tests... whole afternoon=study
Wednesay
The questions on essay i spot was right!!! But when mr tan gif us see the qns - i was so shock n scare cos i saw the word 'trade deficit' which i thot omg.. study wrong topic liao. The qns damn long la.. i sit so far, can't really see very clearly. was figuring out what the qns asking den after 10 minutes, den i realise is the one that i studied. part of me was feeling happy cos i spot the right one but the other was i don't have enough time!! End of the day got chem test... thanks to the principal it was cancel. i dunno whether to be happy or sad. happy cos test postpone but sad cos there is no reason to do the test badly which means today must study for the test! argh...
Thursday
School ended late... finally there isn't any gp homework today! I did slack a bit but still got revise math. erm.. Only thing i remember was i was disappointed that junyang was out. sob sob.. i think he deserve to get into the final round. Saddned! was glad that kelly got in! Hope she win in the final...
Friday
I slept at 2.30am this morning n got up as usual for school. These two days keep haiving mood swing.. argh, can't stand myself! ( i knew woonli would say den sit lor) haha... lame eh gal but still manage to break into my smile. went home n sleep for hours. at night, i watched tv... read math book 1 till ap gp den daddy came in to ask wanna eat swensen? Hee.. of cos i said yes! den he ask us to go get change. i was wearing like home clothes cos thot go holland eat den go home le. My parents dress quite nice so when we meet out in the living room.. my dad says eh going to orchard leh u sure u wanna wear like that? so i change... it was 10.45pm n there was quite a long queue. we waited for abt 30 minutes den went in. Inside there were still quite a no of empty tables.. i wonder y they kept us outside so long! hmm... we share a regular earthquake, fries n a plate of fish n chips cos everyone seems so full. when we went out... again we saw a long queue but inside there's like abt 4 to 5 tables empty. Think it is one way to do business ba... it's a tactic. Felt so fulll, went home to watch tv again till near 2am den i went to sleep
Saturday
Woke up very late at 11 plus. slack till 1.30 den comtinue my math. done reading book 1 by 4. get ready to go tuition... today is a boringn tiring day. at night.. i nv touch my books. watch tv all the way n went online to slack. time = 11.29pm i'm turning in soon. tml shall be my last tennis training just before my a levels. So sad... i wan to continue but it is not a very wise choice right now. studies some first ya. will enjoy tml training!

Next week
Mon n wed - mock math paper
Wed - inorganic test
Friday - gp papers

@de|ine => mentally n physically drained

I'm already there

i love this song... so touching

I'm Already There
(Richie McDonald/Gary Baker/Frank Myers)

He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
And when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
And said "Daddy when you coming home"
He said the first thing that came to his mind

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there

She got back on the phone
Said I really miss you darling
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright
Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight
And I'll gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes

I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
Oh I'm already
There

din manage to decorate but still i love it! 

mi... meli .. mich 

Flustered!

i'm feeling very piss off right now. argh...stop disturbing me u !@#$$%$%#$%%^$#^%#^$. LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GOODNESS SAKE..

regrets.. lost.. troubled

Dear diary,

Walking home with my headphone
Thoughts ran through wildly
Flashes come n go
Words floating by
Walking as slow as a snail
The thought of going home was far
Seven o'clock in the evening
The wind is blowing against me
As I past by my house
Tears rolled down
I dunno what is going through my mind
Soon, i reached the front of the swimming pool
Settle down just before the pool.
Took the phone, i wrote down my feelings
'Message sent' was all i could see
No reply ... the phone was down
The phone rang
Had to pretend i was fine
That wasn't really easy.
Scrolling down my contact list
I rang someone...
Just need someone to talk to me
Keeping me company.
'Someone' isn't free
Just after 'someone' ask why
I cried. Silence.
'Nope, nothing I'm fine. Really I'm fine. Bye'
I couldn't stop tearing...
All I did was sit there
Staring... blasting the music...
9 o'clock time to head home.
Couldn't believe it happen to me.

@de|ine=> fear

My weekends

Dear diary,

This weekend went out with my family to taka to eat lunch at crystal jade. ate quite alot den walk walk ... i managed to buy sth- a book by nicholas spark (true believer) these few weeks, i've read 2 books by nicholas spark n currently reading the wedding. Today i think i only spend 1 n a half hour being attentive in fact only 1 hour ba. During chem lecture, i've been reading the story book all the way den econ i copied notes for half an hour den ther it came the firm alarm. It's so soft la.. can't be heard. Well, jc fire drill is so different la.. we spend 45 minutes in the parade square listening mostly to the principal talking. i'm glad that the receptionist said that to the P haha... also he mentioned about those upgrade stuff in the sch which do not benefit the j2 anyway. After 45 minutes, we realise our break has gone one n only break of the day... need to go hall for civis which is also very boring though it shld concern us. i think everyone was to eat so hardly ask any qns. hmm... throughout the whole day i only listen to ms yamuna lesson.. she's too fierce to be slack in her class. Had to stare at her for the whole 1 hour otherwise i think u will be fry. It's either my eye sight is getting worst or i stare at her too long liao tt's y by the end of lesson i feel that my eyes are so tired. went running today. my timing is getting lousier for 400m. it's like 1.46min. hai~ dun think i can make it for the sports carnival.still thinking if i wanna join anot? i feel like joining cos it's the last year liao but i dun wanna join cos i scare will pull the whole team down. Read econ topic 8 today but had difficulty in understanding them so went running to relax myself n to exercise. but... i think all my effort is gone to the drain cos i ate ice cream after dinner. Toffee cream yummy! watch tv till 10, pack my bag n here i m blogging n chatting. These few days the air con in the bus are working so well that i feel like i'm in a cold c'try. Cold is better than hot i suppose.
An interesting happen on monday that is 'free lunch' in pizza with mich, aiting n wenda. While waiting for gp lesson to start at 4pm, we went to jp for lunch. we were standing outside pizza hut thinking if we shld eat it den a lady came over to ask us do a survey which i ignored her. den the uncle from pizza hut came n told us to help them do a survey in their new flavour of pizza den stil got 5 bucks of voucher. haha... of cos we went in cos , it's such a good deal. When we came out, i felt full lor cos they gave us a rather big piece.so there is our free lunch.. went to coffee bean for desert. my first time there n i ate a chocolate cake.. yummy. gp lesson was a total waste of my time. i regret going for it!
erm... still got quite a no of things i want to blog but i'm sleepy already.
To maria, glad that u drop by to see us. n i really hope to see u next year haha hopefully is in usa. :) take good care n miss ya !

@de|ine = tired

,my week

Dear diary,

This week is rather packed with my inorganic chemistry test, continous random variable test n a written assignment for protectionism on wed, thur n fri respectively. Stayed back in school on tuesday to mug chem with cheryl, wenda n michelle. Hmm, we studied till 3.30 den went to spc den bought lots of food n had orange juice. eh.. can't really remember where mi n cheryl went cos we were heading back to the benches near the yoga room. Wanted to reach the bench first so i ran den cheryl found a shortcut which i din realise. when i saw her in front of mi, i was shocked .. the very next moment she fell. i'm even more stunned yet wenda was there laughing real hard la. cos she says the way cheryl fell is so funny. lol... in the end every1 end up laughing after wenda show us how cheryl fell. Poor cheryl, hope ur knee is doing fine ya? well, we studied till like 6? den korkor came to pick mi n send cheryl to je. Can't imagine how my brother actually passed his driving test! almost got into an accident on our way home ... every morning sit his car i dare not even sleep. Everytime red light his eyes auto will close one. cannot stand him .. argh!!! today he did it again. had to push him real hard den he will wake up. Back to tue, went to slp at 1am but my stupid tooth hurts like hell that i kept toss n turn till i can't stand it anymore. i woke up to brush my teeth again at 1.45am. the pain ease for a while n came back again .. only till 3am den i slp lor. The next day got chem test which is rather tough for me to concentrate cos i'm tired. i din know how to do those calculation questions but the others looks alright to me. my math test was quite sucky. i hate crv... dun understand the topic at all! lucky i pass , get 17/25. I can nv understand myself.. everytime the test is easy, i screw it all up with my careless mistakes. when everyone find the test easy, i beg to differ. everyday of my tests get worst! econ is the best... can't even remember what to write for that questions la.. just crap all the way.
Stayed back in school today fot the different courses of talks for different university. After hearing the talk on accountacy offered in NTU, i'm quite attracted to me cos i think the job prospect is huge so not scare cannot find a job. Wasn't really interested in the business cos i know it bound to have econ! DId my chem hw while waiting for my bro to fetch me.. ask him to come at 5 he dun want.. in the end have to queue up in the road! all thanks to him. the journey home was funny cos everytime he see a jam, he will says change road change road. end up everywhere also traffic jam! haha.. lousy la you... next time please come early hor. btw, ur car stinks! do spray more perfume .. i almost faint! haha... weekend is here le, aain thinking of where to haf fun this weekend.

@de|ine=?

I'm bleeding profusely.
No passer-by... the road is empty.
What m I suppose to do?
No roadsign, no direction...
I'm stuck in my mind, my heart, my soul.
At this moment in time, I'm wandering off
Things look the same but they aren't..
Silence was appreciated in the past like u said.
Now silence is cold - strangers was what I felt.
It's not sadness nor anger, it's more of pain.
Mentally tired I am to go through this.
U know what I mean.
Eversince that day,
I had already lose you without saying anything.
I guess nothing could be done.

@de|ine=> been in a daze for days...

Tennis gathering.

Dear diary,

Yesterday i had my inter-house tennis.. played singles but in the second round i got kicked out haha. was playing against xiangying in the first n cheryl in the second round. hmm... lucky cheryl is from owens too. hope she can help owens win :) all the best gal! After tennis, the team went out for dinner with mr low . It has about 2 to 3 months since we ate a meal together. as usual, mr low is so poor thing always got disturbed by us haha. shall not say anything here :P We had pizza den went to kfc to chit chat. I sat with grace, merilyn n mr low. I nv knew i was such a person to others eh... do i look the type who is easily bullied? do i always look like i'm always dreaming? m i the type who needs someone to shower lots of love on me in a relationship? m i someone who will not do anything really bad if i was to be provoked? haha... i dunno eh. but the way they say mi till i like cannot take care of myself eh , that i'm not fierce enough. Mr low always say i'm those qian jin xiao jie. aiyo, i'm not lor... ok la, i nv do housework at home doesn't prove that ma. in s'pore so many children also got maid at home ma. I dun like to get myself dirty also equal to qian jin xiao jie ar? hmm... maybe in a big group, i dunno how to express myself that's y i dun show alot of myself with the tennis team. anyway, surrently i'm reading a story book by nicholas sparks- the guardian. hope i can read finish by today or latest by tml. looking forward to read the last part of the story cos my fren says it's very sad.
Today i finally pluck up the courage to give u a letter n a gift. To u my dear, i had no intention to hurt ur feelings but i hope u understand that this letter i hope can bring us closer and not to pull us apart. U know that u are special to me n by giving u this letter, i hope we can clear our problems so that life still carry on. I hesitate to give to u cos i'm so afraid of losing someone like u but i gave u cos i wanna go back to the past like how we had been through the one n a half years. Like i said, if only things were as simple...

@de|ine=> back to reading!

I want all the luxury in the world!

Dear diary,

It's a sunday today! As usual i had my tennis training... only one word can describe - Joy! Can't believe that i'm so into tennis now that i enjoy playing it so much :) Yesterday was my very first time i think i a little drunk haha. After tuition, I took a cab to my sunt house coz they having a birthday party for my second sunt. hee.. happy birthday! Well, met up ith all my big n cute little cousins. Kids just grow very fast n they are becoming so smart! In the near future, think at my generation really have to lower ourselves to understand them better le. So adorable .. love them all! Near to midnight... my cousins n I gathered n we talked n play games. haha... had two male cousins they were playing hmm a different version of hei bai pei. it was so funny... End up i dunno why, al of us were drinking red wine - cornerstone. Never heard before but it tastes alright la...We chatted n drink till we all lost counts of how glasses were being drunk. By ard 2.45am, all of us were like so dead. my cousins are uttering rubbish.. can't stand them. Went home at 3am... i felt sharp pain on the left side of my stomach.. tink drink too much le ba cos i nv drink so much b4. luckily my parents nv scold haha...
had to wake up at 7.30am this morning. Came home at 12pm den watch tv till 3 plus n sleep till 6pm. My sunday is gone just like this... A levels is just 4 months away.
please... let mi pull through another obstacle this year.
Everytime i think of my studies, i felt that i've disappoint my parents n myself. Perhaps i'm someone with very high aims that's why great disappointment always come. Since young... nothing goes smoothly for me like what my parents alway say.. i'm so unluckily. things always happen bad for me. just hope these are tests set by god for me n things will change for the better. I'm thankful for having the determintion to do everything in my life otherwise i'll be long be defeated by these tests. Most of all, i'm thankful for having such wonderful parents who give me a great family!

@de|ine=> emotional

Just another day...

Dear diary,

Another week is going to pass by again... this week i'm busy with making some stuff for my friend. I totally never study at all this week. This whole week I've been sleeping for the whole afternoon n for the past two days, I've keep having nightmares so scary... it's about crime scene. Argh...hope i dun have anymore nightmares! Hmm... today is the longest day of the week cos lesson end at 4pm every thursday. Truthfully, my mind shut down at around 10.30am. throughout the day i like in a blur n sleepy mode... can't absorb anythng. We celebrated aiting, cheryl n yi wee birthday for this month during our break time. Wa, the class fund is realli o brokE lor. I just coleected 5 bucks not long ago but now left less than 40 bucks.Haha.. so if anyone from my class is reading tis hope you guys understand that is not i everytime i wan to collect money wor cos this year we spend ard 30 to 35 bucks on the cakes n cards for birthday of the month. :)
Get back chem paper for the structured de.. did rather well. glad that all my efforts are not gone down the drain.. hee. but my econ finished le lah.. mcq fail lor. i thik get ard 5 or 6 correct onli de my case study also not good at all. The only one i can rely is my essay le but i dun pin too much hope.
On youth day holiday, i went to play tennis with denis n his friends... it was fun but the sun is so scorching. PLayed from 10am to 12pm at kallang. den we go concourse after bathing to play pool n eat lunch. I nv realli play pool cos they are too good for me to anything play haha. so i went to walk walk n bought myself some stuffs for the gift i'm making. Next time wanna open party esp for kid must go concourse n buy all the party stuffs.. cheap n there r variety of fun things. Tml i'm gonna play tennis with samuel n michelle( my tennis fren) from 12 to 2.30 den at 5pm will play with mummy :) So afterall, tennis is part of my life besides sleeping so i'm not a pig wor. Lol.
I go watch tv le tata.. take care people! May blog a little lesser now cos i wanna spend more time writing in my real diary...

@de|ine=> an acheivement achieve!

Slacking days

Dear diary,

School has begun... i had received my timetable n only thursday was the worst. my lesson end at 4pm on thursday... the rest erm.. mon is 1, tue n wed is 12.30 n fri is 12. quite slack la but hate thursday which is tml. Right now i'm ore worried about my coming gp test on friday ( think i will fail lo.. so long nv touch gp stuff as in do compre nor essay). Moreover, my gp tutor says no one is to fail the essay. These three days i m still in holiday mood la .. coe home n sleep like nobody business. yesterday i watched hide n seek n inital d. yupz... den today i slept for 2 n a half hour. After dinner, i went to pack my math file cos i'm the 'lucky' one to be picked for checking!~ nvm.. luckily tt i've already organised my stuff so it's rather easy just that later have to do corrections.hmm... tried to do my math assignment 33 but i see the first question n it's cracking my brains. I chose to ignore n went to watch tv n right now i'm online n watching tennis. On monday, i had tennis with mum n her friends. I love playing tennis! it's so much fun.. lots of fun! But i have a very bad habit tt is i dun like to run for the balls.. so i'll be like waiting the balls to come if not i wun hit it. Mum says i gonna change.. yupz i agree! Interhouse is coming. n i hope i can play well n sure must enjoy it! Think tonight will be stuck in front of my tv le. Wanna watch superstar n tennis. this week still not in the mood of studying... rest for one or two more weeks den try to go back my normal ba. Just hope i dun slack too much... got back my math paper. I'm quite satified with my results - 70.5,, all b'coz of my careless mistakes. hmm i have gone through my paper n make ralli alot of stupid careless mistakes. well, just make sure my a levels dun repeat the same mistakes can le right? So i sort of achieve one of my aim for this mid year ... keep going on adeline!!! Today though the day is short in school but alot of things to learn.. gosh! environment chem seems so tireous... econ is like blur. had stress management n haha i fit in all the catergories lor.. must be i very stress lol. haha.. hope it's not! sian first day of sch.. ms yamuna is there to remind us that a levels is like abt 3 months away... ok but thanks to her i need to wake up real soon away from my holiday mood.


@de|ine=> holiday mood

My days...

Dear diary,

I had just completed my mid year exams on thursday... it's like another miracle that i have gone through it. my last paper was the worst cos economics ended late den left just a few hours to study before the day ends. as usual, i try my best to keep myself awake so that i can look through at least once for all the topics. In the end, i studied till 4am, at that point of time, i no longer felt sleepy but still i think i need some sleep otherwise tml take paper will sleep haha so i slept. the next day i woke up, i was shocked! I saw myself as white as sheet, i was in a daze the whole morning till i reached school. i felt better le. After the paper, i went home. thanks dad n mum for fetching me home everyday of my papers... love ya! Because of u, i'm able to study well. hopefully i dun bring disappointment to you guys. Blessed me! After chem, i felt so relief. But i just wasn't feeling well, having my cramps .. making me no strength nor any energy at all. actually meli n i were suppose to go out n have fun but both of us were like so sian so nv go out. I came home n watch tv, lie on my sofa...soon my parents went out. i was addicted to this wonderful programme - photoimage so i was playing with it for like 3 to 4 hours. throughout the hours, i just dun feel like walking anywhere, only sit down in front of my computer. I realised i haven had a proper meal till 6 plus when my parents were back.
The next day which is friday, i went out to k-box with my fren, den we go shopping, took neo prints... (to daddy, haha thanks for the exra cash u gave me... u said to keep it a secret but in the end u told mummy lol) I bought a pair of earrings which was at sales . it's a big ring.. at first thought it looks alright but when i tried it at home it was very big la. Saw lots of stuffs i wanna buy but they r damn expensive! i told my self that next time i must earn lots of money so that i can buy whatever i like whahaha. ok.. i'm being mad right now.. having a very big bubble above my head. since young got so many dreams for the future... but very likely they are not fulfil. ok.. i'm tired le. shall stop here. goodnitez!

All Smiles!

Dear diary,

I had a great time today... but lazy to write haha. Thank u for giving me such a wonderful day! I'm all smiles... :)

@de|ine => all smiles..

Stress!!!

Dear diary,

I've been studying real hard for next week mid year... i'm studying of an average of at least 7 hours per day .. can u imagaine tt? i nv tired studying for so many many days of at least 7 hours.. gosh! I ate alot too... first time eh. usually near exam period i dun eat alot de... den will lose some weight haha.. but this time i eat alot lor. pray hard my weight dun increase... hmmm but got a few days i ate quite healthily... got influence by my gf to eat wheat bread lol. tastes yummy!!! I have look through all the topics once le... the problem now is memorising my facts! I'm really a wooden block eh... always must memorise stuffs den can .. since secondary school. i can never understand anything. Argh! hate myself for doing so.. everyone says it's not good... esp for econs is like how to memorise? so many many things.. i really dunno where to start from! ANGRY~ this week i only spend 2 days on math yet i am aiming quite high for math. hai~ so contradict right? maybe i shld just aim all pass can le.. so that my disappointment will not be great. Heard from gf that math will be difficult for this mid year... Damn stress !! recently i've been waking up real early in the monring cos i couldn't slp well but i felt so tired.. den i sleep quite late at night with my tv on cos i could not slp! yesterday i suddenly felt a strong feeling.. it's difficult to describe. my mind is totally in a blank... den all i wanted to do is to grab something to hang on. i felt so weak that i feel like collapsing... very very weird... den in a split second, i was alright den i was sitting in front of my sofa. WEIRD! is this a sign of depression or stress.. something is wrong!~ hmmm still wanna wish myself all the best. four more days to the horrorifying papers.

@de|ine=> down at the bottom of the sea searching for pearls!

I'm elated!!

Dear diary,

i'm feeling elated right now hee... cos i just came home from town. whaha... went out with my friend den we go bugis n orchard. lol.. bought a roxy shirt den we took neoprints. lol.. very nice wor but cannot show ppl :( hmm.. we went out at 6pm den reach home onli at 10.30. very unlucky .. we just reach bugis mrt station den my slipper spoil lor.. but i still wear it till i reached home though quite difficult to walk. haha.. cos onli bring 30 buck den dun wanna spent on slippers. Hmm... we went to bugis village n shop. actually is to relieve stress la today go out... i did math today n complex numbers really sucks! function is alright :) hmmm... tml is econ days ( i hate econ most!) what's the best thing going out is eating chocolate cake n brownies!! lol, we share hehe. den we sit at the place like quite romantic whaha ..it's really sinful having all the chocolates inside right now. opps.. these few days while i study den i eat really really alot of stuffs. think this holiday dunno gain how much weight le. die ar... plus i yesterday no tennis!! hmmm.. i keep telling myself wei le this mid year i must jia you.. but i very scare. what if i study so hard den in the end all i receive is just useless grades that does not prove my hardworkingness? *pray hard that it wun happen ok* pray pray pray... please!!! but the bad thing is i study le den i tend to forget the stuff very easily leh. hai~
i hope i can do better for math ( pray tt math paper dun so tough) den chem .. hmmm hope i can memorise the organic reactions very well. the other topics i dun care much. as for econ only aim for a pass... these are my aims for this mid year.yupz... adeline jia you!! must do it ok!
to my friend who went out with me,
i really enjoy the time we spend today cos i really felt very happy. thought the time is quite short but it's a fruitful one... first time eating such expensive chocolat cakes n brownies.. also i love the photos we took :) love ya lots!!! hee ( smiling ) *winks*

@de|ine=> reborned!

I wish i were here with you..

Dear diary,

I felt so lucky yet upset... I felt so lucky to have my parents with me cos without them, i won't be able to see the wonders of this world. I'm thankful especially to my daddy for him working so hard to give my family a comfortable life n giving us all that he could. Supporting me in my education so that i will have a better future. I love you daddy more than anything in this world ... Since young, u are always my hero. you taught me how to walk through my tough times, giving me advice n be there for me. At times, when u n i were alone talking... i felt the warmth that u gave me. The jokes that u said are so funny... u have a wonderful brain which i admire alot!!! How i wish i had too. Wishing you a Happy Father's Day! Love ya daddy...

I'm upset today cos not everyone has the chance to be enjoying celebrating Father's Day.

My dear cousin, i wanna let u know that even though ur dad has left u but he will always be there with you no matter where you go. I know just like me, our daddy place an important role in our lives. Even if everyone is there to console U, it's tough to overcome what had happened. Remember that you are not alone, i'll always be there for you . i'm just a call away from you... right now, u must be feeling lost. I dunno how to console you but hopefully soon u will become the cheerful gal like the past. Do know that your daddy will want you to be happy n move on with your life. He will always be with you.. alway~ Love ya gal.. cheer up :)
[remember to eat ok?] i'll always be there for u!

@de|ine => i'm thankful.