Phobia...

Dear diary,

Received a phone call... to arrange for an appointment to sgh. I thot it was over since the last time i went there for ECG and told I was officially discharge. A period of sleepless nights and nighmares I had, and now it's going back then again! The thought of seeing them just give me goosebumps and this cold feeling while waiting for my turn or even inside there. It has been like this ever since i was young.. the fear.

How much she wanna turn back time and not to stay there alone. As simple minded as she was back then, know nothing until it brought upon fear. Looking around for help but all she saw was white walls with these strangers whom were told as her saviours. A child struggling hard to break free. But to them, it's effortless to keep her still. Only to step out and carry that heavy heart with her all these years.

How much longer is it going to stay with her, just how much?

Fear of doctor adapted from website:
Often medical phobia is the result of traumatic experiences in childhood. I've spoken to many people with medical fears who had terrible experiences of being held down at the doctor or dentist to force treatment. The mind then attaches that level of fear to situations involving medical procedures. Fear of needles or blood being drawn are among the most common problems relating to medical phobia. Symptoms may include excessive sweating or clamminess, rapid breathing, rapid heartbeat, nausea and dizziness. Doctors can sometimes mistake these symptoms for other medical problems.

Should I or should I not?

2) Need to plan my timetable soon. But I'm considering whether to go for exchange in sememster 2, if so, den i will need to take up different subjects as my fellow schoolmates in group A accountacy. If i wanna go, where should i go? Who should I ask for more advice?

3) When will it be a good time for me to resign? Izzit nice of me to request if I can take so many days off for camp? Or would it be better for me to have at least my last 3 weeks of holiday to myself?


Decisions... something one can never escape.