My tooth is hurting~

Dear diary,

My tooth is hurting so badly! Ouch!.. it has been three days , i told my parents n they just told mi to drink more water. pray hard that i'm not having my wisdom tooth cos gf says it's very painful to remove it :( Nowadays, i dun really talk alot to you le... cos talking to you just hurts me. Yesterday i had a dream... i dreamt of u being angry with me but i dunno the reason. we were suppose to sit together in the bus but u won't allow me to... so i sat behind. i suspect the reason for u being angry is b'cos perhaps u have read my blog. (If ever one day u were to see this, i wanna let u know that it's not i don't wanna talk to u abt it cos i'm so afraid to lose you someone whom was my best friend but now i wun dare to say we are... just that we are still close.) When i woke up, i pray so hard that this didn't happen at all n i'm glad that it din.. it was just a dream. Went to school for econs n got back my econ script .. i just passed. After class, we celebrated yan qin's early birthday which is on 16th june. Then, i went home, had so much hesitation when i was eating my lunch cos my tooth just hurts. After lunch which took a long time to finished eating, i went to my bed. I tried to sleep , was rocking on my bed, rolling on my bed... only managed to slp maybe after an hr. Stupid tooth!! felt like removing it so much. Woke up at 2pm. At 3pm, i went out with my carboxylic acid notes, wallet n hp. Walked around my neighbourhood for abt 30 minutes .. felt really relaxed n i wish i hadn't have to stop walking... den i walked to the linrary n sat down to read my carboxylic acid notes... went around the library n pick up a few books - poems.. i read n was so engrossed with it. some were sad but some were so encouraging... at ard 6 plos, i walked home again. Did not have my dinner cos i dun have appetite. watch tv throughout the night till 10pm,n i'm online :)No mood to study le!!! argh.. i hate exams! always feel so restricted , gulity , useless ... i always want to be free! When is the day coming? *wonder*

@deline=> it's a bad day!

Why do i feel this way?

Dear diary,

i'm feeling real down right now.. i'm lost. i feel like going out .. away from everyone cos i felt so cheated throughout my whole life. I'm not sure if this is a moment of being rash or it's really what i think is just my own feelings n imagination. just before i grumble, i would like to thanks melissa n my friends for accompanying mi out yesterday. nice to see u all again... mel n i went shopping den jx join us as usual... after that i meet my secondary school classmates( melvin, wai leong n winson) to watch movie - cursed.. i din realli know what it was about but i was frightened at some parts of the movie. den we went to eat near the esplande-makansutra. after we hav eaten , we went near to the sea, i like the feeling-the feeling of peace as the wind blows away all my troubles. Reached home only after 12am.. woke up this morning den slack slack till afternnon went shopping wif mummy. lol, we went to pray den go bugis village n i brought another top.. oh ya yes mel n i bought the same top but diff colour. quite cool ya? yupz, den we shop till 6 plus n i went to meet zy who make mi walk for so long to reach west coast park. make mi sweat like one kind! haha, but it's kinda of fun to walk with him cos he make mi laugh all the way...but still scare tt he bring mi anyhow walk ... luckily we reached there but it's like 30-45 minutes lor. the bbq was alright cos we dunno alot of ppl.. so i left shortly after mel left...
During my bus journey, i've been thinking alot... i think about my friendship with my close friend. I cried cos i felt disappointed, i felt being used, i felt like a fool... maybe all these are just my thinkings n it's unfair to say u these way cos maybe u nv feel that u treated mi like this before. Or maybe being unattached i can't feel the way u have for him.. that he is more important than ur 'best friend'. well, i can't balme u for i know what type of person he is... but i'm upset with u cos u dun realise that u have neglected ur friend. What m i to you? A ball? so when u r sad, when u r happy, when u really need someone to talk to n couldn't find one.. u'll find mi? will update someday again.. i can't take it anymore .. my eyes r hurting.. i felt so heavy, my eyes are full of liquid that i can't see what i'm typing..

Have you ever ...

Dear diary,

this morning I woke up n i just got the urge to write this...

Have you ever...

Have you ever wonder how it feels to be alone?
The feeling of nobody understands you.
The feeling of nobody cares for you.
And you don't know why are you here.

Have you ever sat down and your tears just flow?
The feeling of nobody is around you.
The feeling of being outcast by the world.
And you don't know why are you crying.

Have you ever shout at someone whom didn't anger you?
The feeling of people questioning you.
The feeling of people not trusting you.
And you don't know the reason behind.

Have you ever feel like escaping?
The feeling of being a carefree bird.
The feeling of being whom you want.
And you don't know how to realize it.

adeline
10.05a.m.
31-05-2005

In life, we encounter so many so many feelings that at times, we just didn't know how to react to them neither do we know why do we have this feeling. I think that is what makes human being special from all other livings things...

SuMmEr SeAsOnS

Dear diary,

It's the beginning of the summer seasons.. n we are supposed to be having fun in the beach or out there in town for the great singapore sales... but things just weren't mean that way for my schoolmates n mi ba. It is exactly 3 weeks away from mid year exams. I studies econ - banking and monetary . still halfway through cos i'm taking my time. so far i only remember the motives for demanding money . quite happy le.. cos at least i started. hmm.. this week, i'm gonna pick a day out to watch movie, go town n nowadays i got the urge to have another new ear hole.. (opps, m a bad gal)this friday, i'm already booked to go for a bbq so is either tml or thursday. hmm i hate going school during holidays , y can't we have our own free time! what's worst is how can they place mid year exams during june holidays? hai~..next week have to go back school! recently, i just had a haircut n i quite like it cos it makes my hair very light. Last friday, we end school at 11.30 den zhanyu bring mi out of school though it's against the school rule where we can only step out of school at 1pm. It was my first time, so i was really very scare n borrow early leave form from junyang.. When the uncle ask mi, i just show him the form .. whew, my heart was beating very fast. Hmmm.. went to far east wif mum n dad to cut my hair. the hairdresser's hair very cool! I din tell him how i wan my hair to be den he just cut n it looks nice. it's step-layer. mum saw n she says she also wanna cut. my dad was becoming very impatiet cos both of us took 2 hrs plus to had our hair cut done. i walked round far east n saw some stuffs i wanna buy but dare not ask cos dad looks rather unhappy. saw a pair of slippers for 19.90 n a top for 20+. I'm waiting for melissa to see when she free den can go n shop. yesterday had my tennis training n after palying for 45 minutes, i felt like fainting just like the other day. think i'm under the sun too long. Feels nice to pay with the new string though sometimes the sound it make sounds awful! the rest of today i will be watching tennis le. it's the tennis season! so many good n young players this french open.. got one is as young as 15 n what's cooler is tt she beats serena william! haha.. good job!! wanna see who's winning this french open think maria got a high chance as usual. russians girls are just damn good .. so many of them in the top 16.

@de|ine=> resting

Hell of a 'nice' world!

Sitting right here, my mind is so BLANK
I hate myself for being who i m right NOW
I'm not who I used to be.
Someone i DUN even wanna become...

Everytime i tried to turn around i FAILED!
All i could do is to ask WHY?
At times i just FELL down n let my TEARS flow
There isn't any STRENGTH for me to walk on

I felt so USELESS
dISAPPOINMENT goes n comes again
Each time i had to face the STORMY day
I tried to ESCAPE

When i'm all ALONE, all i do is to go to my DREAMLAND
Cos i know, that's where i wanna GO
But i know if this continue, I'll be SUFFERING all my life
Yet i can't bring myself to CHANGE it

One point of my life, i felt my fren dun TRUST me
I remember her WORDS that day.
It SADENED me but i didn't mentioned anything
Back on my bed, i thought if she was really the one i'm LOOKING for

If our FRIENDSHIP has come to a point where TRUST DOES NOT exist,
I would choose to gave up EVERYTHING including you
Cos I wouldn't want myself to get HURT again - EVER.
Ur one sentence change my THOUGHTS everytime i see u

Sometimes, i WONDER if u believe what i said
Or was it something that u just accept n said another about it
I DUNNO...
Cos all i could SENSE is the trust has gone eversince that day

Perhaps there ISN'T a real friend in this world
Everyone just wear a MASK
If so, WHY let each other to be met?
Even after meeting, someday the mask will DISAPPEAR
Soon, u'll realise that everything was just a LIE

A LIE! After so much we have gone through, it all turn out to be just a drama
Reality comes by, once again u r left alone facing the HARSH world
As much as i wanna run away, i couldn't
Only when i STOPPED breathing, i can really enter my DREAMLAND forever.

I wanna be ALONE! Leave me in my world of IMAGINATIVE friends. the ones i REALLY yearn for ... I HATE this world.. wishing i was NEVER even born!

A touching book

Dear diary,

Good morning! It's now 10.07am n i woke up about half an hour ago. had a fitfull sleep yesterday cos i slept at 10am. Pig rite? but i was tired... school ended early at 10 den once i reached home, i rested for a while den went to the hair salon. Yupz.. when i came home, i met ee mei n yuan xun. eh.. thot i was rather rude cos i like want to rush home so nv talk alot to them... yesterday was yuan xun b'day so ya.. once again happy 18th birthday! At around 5pm, i went out with my sister cynthia to city link n suntec just to walk walk lor but she looked so sleepy den like not very fun. anyway, saw some nice stuffs.. quite conteented le cos i haven't been going to town for a long time. I never buy anything eh.. haha. MiracLE.. Hmm.. this week is coming to an end soon. During one of day in this week, i was reading a book 'A Child name 'IT'' It was a nice n rather saddening book.. i took it out n read cos nothing to do .. but before i knew it, i was crying like river flowing down my cheeks. So sad.. just felt like killing the mother so as to end his horrifying life with all sorts of sufferings.. This is a true story n i can't imgine if i were the boy, how i able to take it? I think i would have just kill myself... So far, this is the only book that make me cries throughout the whole story like every a few minutes. Today. ee mei is celebrating her 18th b'day but i cannot go cos got math tuition which ended at 7.30pm. ya lor.. den i think by the time i reach there it's so late le. Hopefully, u have a great day ya? Actually felt like going cos all my secondary schools mates all there... hai~ Alright.. needa get the day started by eating my breakfast! tata

@de|ine=> afresh!

Hope i'm fine

Dear diary,

argh.. just now type halfway den hand itchy go n click on else thing! Was saying tt i haven been blogging for like 13 days le. Hmm.. this 2 weeks have been studying cos of common test but i didn't do well sob sob. Well, life is full of up n down , i haven gotten over it le. Last thursday, i pon yoga den go shopping with meli at log 1 to buy present for yvette n wenli. we walk for a long time den cannot find till we went to more than words. Wah.. i must say meli is a great shopper . she grabs thing as if it is free wor. Haha.. we manage to bought their gifts den i walk to one of the shops we went in just now to buy my favourite collection - earrings . whaha.. it's cheap la so i buy hee. i gave meli one . hte next day she wore it but teacher says cannot. den sun had my usual training but what is special is that i broke my string... after playing so long finally i broke it yea so happy! haha.. think others will think i'm mad but it's a good sign!~ Den monday we got release early.. slacker ms yamuna lol. but continue to do so! K... back to today, i had my guitar lesson den we r learning on two songs.. qing fei de yi n guan huai fang shi. I think guan huai fang shi easier but still my fingers r hurting... ouch. Wonder when den can i play the song fast enough... alright enough for today le.. i wanna do watch tv den maybe later go try out my guitar again.. den see needa do econ anot. hope i dun need to den today can slack whaha.. this week i'm a big time slacker cos usually i'm just a slacker. haha.. lame. tml got tennis wif mum... n yoga in sch (bore)

@de|ine=> i'm happy

When will i be motivated? continuation...

Dear diary,

I'm continuing what happen during my long weekend. On monday, i woke up at about 9 plus so thati can study economics. But this alway happen... during the public holidays n weekends, my sisters whom i'm saring room with always wake up very late. Then i cannot study lor cos if i switch on the light den they wil complain , also i need to turn on the music to study. Thot i can study outside but dad is using the computer n turning on his music till so loud. I was quite angry then cos this house does not provide a good environment den no one cares about you la. I went into my room, pack my bag n went out of the house. I went to delifrance at anchorpoint , bought ice mocha n sat down . Thoughts running through my mind.. really thought og leaving the house after what have happen. It may be a small thing but at that point of time, i couldn't help it but thinking that it doesn't matter if i'm part of the family anot.

The econ test was ok but i dunno if i can pass it cos case study is so tough la. been having the urge to play tennis today so i sms my mum during econ to ask her book tennis court tmr. I totally forget that friday got chem test la but nvm .. i miss playing tennis.
Had my guitar lessonm today.. i finally learn how to play some chords hmm : C, D Em , G.. but my fingers are hurting le. sob sob.. painful~ must have determination!

@de|ine=> wanna slack!

When will i be motivated?

Dear diary,

Had my economics common test n chemistry class test today... My long weekend has just ended but i didn't enjoyed it at all. I started to read econ on saturday for the whole morning n i was really very frustated cos i could not figure a single thing out! After reading topic 3 - national in come accounting, i sat down at my bed. I just felt like crying. Questions flooded my head making me dizzy that i just wanna faint. I asked myself if i were so stupid n brainless that i could not even know what i'm reading? Was it my fault that i'm in this state.. hai~ perhaps ba.. if only i had not choose this subject den things might not be as bad. After being angry with myself, i had no choice but to turn to my friends.. looking through my hp contacts, i called cheryl. Den ask her if sunday she is free to study together den she can teach mi.. luckily she agreed! thanks alot cheryl.
On sunday, i went for tennis training without breakfast... Michelle wanna study chemistry so cannot make it for tennis training so i was alone.. i must say that training alone is tough n tiring. near to the end of the training, i was like so wobbly n my sight seems to be blurrin g so i have to ask my coach to stop. Most likely is due to me not have my breakfast.. thanks to guanghui having that muffin with him . haha. i ate half of it n felt much better. Went off to macdonald to meet cheryl .. den we ate n started studying at 11.30 till 5.30. I began to understand abit more n was rather happy although haven i memorise my facts. We did slack for like an hour n a half , went to boon lay shopping to buy kinder also we share filet meal at about 3 plus. Cheryl was sick den she brought a 1.5L of water to mac. lol.. i would not dare to bring it cos like very funny but after seeing her doing that.. next time if i'm not feeling well, i might do that too. That night, i was in my aunt house cos they are celebrating early mother's day. Didn't wanna go cos i hot study for my test more important but i went cos mum was not happy about it. As expected, going there is a waste of my time . But i chatted with my cousins who are 23 n 22 years old .. they used to be in jjc too. Talking to them make me feel that i'm going to flunk my A Levels... It was 11.30pm n i wanted to go home le so that i can study so went to hurry my parents but they drag till 1.30 lo. argh.. sometimes they just dun understand our thinking. At that point of time, i felt like 'scolding' them... telling them if i were to fail my grades is not my fault but theirs! of cos i didn't, if i were to say that i will regret in the future..so better not be rash. think i stop here n continue another day.. the long weekend just wasn't good at all.. so many thoughts n things happening.. i wish i m alone at times.

@de|ine=> tired but still hanging on..

Tired!~

Dear diary,

Ooo.. it's been long since i blog ya? hmm.. too busy with my tennis training n school stuff ba. Anyway, my tennis tournament is ocming to an end next wednesday which is against acjc. however, i'm not playing cos i'll be learning my guitar :) On friday, we had a match against nyjc n we won hee.. 5-0. For my game, sim yee n I beat them with 9-4. i'm elated cos it's my first match that i won in tennis since i only took up tennis last year. Yesterday, i woke up at 8.30 den was busy with melissa's gifts as she is celebrating her birthday in the evening (bbq). I went to ikea to buy boxes to put her presents... n went to buy the card. well, i bought a total of 18 gifts for her as it was her 18th year old b'day. this is my 2nd year celebrating her birhtday .. only got to know her last year in jjc. I'm thankful to have such a wonderful fren who came along in my journey n walk mi thru sunshine n storm. I liked a few gifts that i gave her which includes the photo alblum, diary ( which i make it as though it was not opend yet) , a heart shape pedant that can place photo inside and a voice recordable bear. In fact i liked all that i gave her... We had lots of fun in her bbq , after dinner our class played games - mr wolf n stepping ballons. sounds so childish right? but... it's always good to have some childhood memories right? Went home only at 11.40 den we reached the bus stop near 12 which we thot we had missed the last bus. luckily, we didn't! lol.. slept in the bus den reach home when it is abt 12.45 ba. This morning i woke up late for my tennis training.. but glad that my parents sent mi over otherwise i dun have to train le. I left at 9.30 to mac at boon lay there to have breakfast with my frens. practically, i'be been doing nothing except sleeping n eating throughout the day till now. recently i hvae sign up for two idp courses - pop guitar n songwriting.. hope i dun regret making this decision as this year i'm having A levels n i'll be spending 4 hours a week for a month learning this extra courses. I doubt i'll have time to blog sooner as week 7 is a very busy week.. all the test coming up. Hai~ i hate tests!!!

@DE|INE=> i wanna slack..

I'm free!

Dear diary,

Remember the friendly match i mentioned? Ya.. it was cancelled due to the continuous rain. We waited for 2 hours n it was cancelled!! waste our time... after that the whole team went to habour front. it was rather cool i mean.. every one wearing our team shirt. there is really a bond between each and every of us though we might not know each other very well. Had macdonalds for breakfast.. taste yummy! i just love mac breakfast :) Saturday was just another sleepy day!
On sunday, i had tennis in the morning , took a bath n meet wenda at 12/45 to go tow. Woo.. i felt so happy tt day cos very long nv go town le. We went to bugis , ate lunch. I ate curry chicken rice but i realised that i were eating very ungracefully cos i dunno how to use the fork n spoon to tear the chicken. In the end, i gave up n ate only the potatoes. haha... we spent like 3 to 4 hours in that shopping centre. There were many nice shops that we visited... n as a earrings lover, i bought 3 pairs that day. One is for my best pal de. Nowadays, i'm into butterflies! They r so beautiful - of different colours n their wings r amazing! We also went to bugis village n saw many nice tops... wan to buy but no money eh! i wann to go work so that i can go out n buy all the stuffs i love! Had a offer from my sister to give tuition to her friend's brother who is primary 1. but i think better not cos when a levels i coing, i'm afraid i will neglect him so i rejected.
Can't remember what i did on monday.. like got something on after sch but i just couldn't remember what was it. nvm
Tuesday - had tennis training after a day of boring school. had lessons til 4 but only a total of 1 hour break! we had a change of gp tutor to mr goon who always make mi wanna laugh cos of his expression. tennis training was fun yet tiring... went home to have my dinner , watch tv n fell asleep while studying for econs.
Wednesday- ended school very early today at 12.30. wanted to leave school but there is so called sercurity guard to guard the gate as we can only leave school only at 2pm! Argh.. stupid school rule.. it's noy as if we wil study during this 1 n a half hour la. All we do is to walk around the school n find how to escape from this 'prison' hai~... too bad a prison is hard to find an exit. Went home n sleep for 3 hours ... very shiok eh! did abit of math den now i'm online to think of how to make a birthday card for my angel... whose b'day is tml! I'm off to watch tv le! tata..

@de|ine= > feeling normal..

RaInInG dAy

Dear diary,

Good morning! It 7.50am now n the weather is rather cold cos it's raining!I'm in my tennis outfit cos will be going to sajc for a friendly soon. Hope the rain will stop den we can play :) Quite excited n nervous about it cos today is our last friendly plus sajc is also part of our grouping... so it's vital.Just msg grace that it's raining heavily den she replies that we stil have to go down n wait for the rain to stop. yupz... haven been sleeping for 9 hours le.. yesterday after tennis training, i went home.. bathe, wath tv n drop dead on my bed at 10 sharp. haha... this morning suddenly woke up by myself without the alarm clock at 7. If only, i can sleep so early everyday... i wun have to fall asleep in class or lectures. anyway. i got to get going cos we r meeting at 8.30am. good luck!!!

@de|ine=> fresh!

a 3 day weekend

Dear diary,

I'm still down wif my flu and cough... nevertheless i still go for my tennis trainings these few days. Yesterday, we are seperated into two teams. Mi n michelle were seperated so i partner Ice. Quite surprisely we were losing 3-1 to sim yee n xiang ying n yet recover to have a tie break with them n won 4-3 :)den we won again with 4-1. hmm.. luck is with us ba i guess.. first time partner still went quite smoothly. Went for tuition den wanted to change my tennis skorts to small but they no have small size le.. i wonder how to wear for tournament specially with the tennis ball in it.
Today, i did some work -chem tutorial n assignment 25 for math but i'm always stuck with math. On good friday, went out with law to study but i only study abit den keep disturbing him haha... sorry wor. He was stuck in one question den keep wanting to solve it. If i were him, i would have skip the qns...saw keng ee n mao in achorpoint.. so sweet. After studying, we went to this shop 'art frenzy'. My eyes were captivated by many wonderful art stuff. i bought some to make sth to my friends this coming apirl - my angel n my best pal... i tried doing it today but it fail so i guess i just make a simple one will do.
Apirl is coming n i'm not at least 1% confident tt i can do my a level well.

@de|ine=> once a solution came... another problem come along...

A day off

Dear diary,

I'm sick.. had chemistry test this morning. I hope i can pass.. cos i dunno if i really know how to do it anot. After that, i decided to go home n rest cos i dun think i can absorb any further for the day. Yesterday, i was mugging for my chemistry test in school cos i meet my angel to study together at 4. BUt i'm so sorry that i have to go home first cos i'm running a fever. Yupz.. will make it up to you ok? cheers... Took only half an hour of sleep den started to mug till 9 n watch tv for 45 minutes. I studied till 12.. the topic periodity is so difficult to memorised! I couild no longer take it so went to slp le.. wanted to wake up at 5 but i went to bed instead.
Today,i did practically nothing but just resting. went for my last chem tuition n it was boring cos it's about ionic eqm. dun understand a single thing. Wonder tml if i can skip pc anot.. but needa get mc leh. argh.. dislike go to the doctor, waste money only! tml going chinatown , hopefully is not a boring trip.

@de|ine => dizzy

NoThiNg iMPoRtAnT

DeaR dIaRY,

I din managed to say sorry to daddy personally cos i nv had the courage to do that but my parents never said anything to me about my handphone. Hopefully, this is a good sign. I hope that they dun think i take my handphone as for granted cos i'm really remorseful about it.I kept real quiet throughout the night since i reached home, really dunno what to do. The time noe is 8.38 in the morning... is just another brand new day n may it be a fine day :)

@de|ine => praying for a nice day

jUsT a baD bAd DaY!

dear diary,

i'm feeling down~ was feeling really good this morning though i were tired. had my tennis training.. n the sun is really scorching. Had a game with xiangying n sim yee.. had some great shots though mi n micheele lost but there were 2 sudden death! hmm.. after tennis, i went with michelle to meet her friend, wen jie. i dun wanna accompany her for lunch de.. but she pulled mi along cos she said i'll be eating alone den. I dun wanna follow cos they having fish n co la.. is like so ex n only have 10 bucks to spend. In the end, the guy paid but i will pay him back when i meet him in school. all of us din manage to finish the food coz it's a big serving. after that, we went to mac cafe to study.. saw lawrence but he nv see mi so nvm . the most uninteresting n worst thing that happen to mi is that i lost my handphone... we decided to watch a movie so went up to buy tickets for the show.. son of the mask? i think so la.. the show is abt 7 plus. as it was still early, my fren suggest to go to the arcade to play. n so we went... n sat down on this machine. i place my bag on the floor next to my seat... n started playing. I must be too engross in the game that i din realise my hp was stolen :( after the game den i was looing for my hp n b4 i knew it.. it was GONE! i walked back to find.. thot i dropped it. n saw this boy looking at mi ... he looks guilty! but i can't confront him cos no prooF! hai~... was really afraid but still i had to tell my dad about it. i din go for the movie n haven eat my dinner.. no mood to do anything. So i went home instead... felt so stupid. i keep thinking about it in the bus i tears just roll down. If only i were more careful den this wouldn't had happen. argh... i hate today. mum called michelle hp when we were walking in jp...n she like very frustrated la. she ask mi abt it.. den says u kids all so troublesome! korkor fell sick den ur sister was complaining about her hair n u said u lose ur hp! i was speechless... i'm really sorry about losing my hp n creating so much trouble for u , dad n mum... really sorry! well, the least i can do is to pay for my new handphone if only u allow mi to have another one. otherwise i'm fine with it cos i know it's my fault.

@de|ine => i wish today din happen at all...

cAn i DroP a tEaR?

Dear diary,
well, i dun feel like writing my fellings here today as i wanted to keep it more personally.. so just wanna say tt i learnt a number of lessons today. the most important lesson i learn is that life is unfair...

@de|ine => hidden fellings.

I waNnA B A NOTi gaL

Dear diary,

i dislike the life i m having now cos most of my time revolve around studies n more studying! LaSt saturaday was an interesting day .. in the morning my school have a carnival -Love Fiesta ||. My class sold cup corn n taiwan sauguages.. it sold pretty well. Within 3.5 hrs, we have finished selling the taiwan sauguages(300)- wanna thanks my classmates for being under the sun to bbq them. Hmm... i did henna , n had some glitter thingy on my hand as well as hair wrap which was not done pretty well but it's still nice. hee... i left for home to rest as i still have tuition at 4-6. After tuition, i went to meet elmo n guys cos it was elmo's birthday :) Being together with my secondary friends has always been wonderful. We had dinner at marina bay den initally they decided to go atch a movie but then it was boring. So ... shili, lyn they all suggest to go Party World which is a KTV. Hmm.. i was thinking if i should go or rather can i go? cos if i go , i will have to go home very late. Also , i dare not tell my mum. In the end, i went n told my mum that i will be home late. Had fun in the Ktv, it was my first time singing in a ktv cos i always dun dare to sing haha.. we sang birthday song n cut cake in the ktv. I was quite sleepy so fell asleep for a little while. lol... onli till 3 am den we left the place. When i was in the ltv, lots of thoughts went through my mind.. i really enjoyed myself over there. I wasn't thinking about school work nor any problems i have. it was truly a time i m who m i. the gal who enjoys music n want to lead a carefree life. But as the saying goes , all good things come to an end. I still have to face reality once it's over... took a cab home with thiratch, elmo n yuan xun. Met my brother , he was inside the pub n saw him through the glass. Haha... den i sms him not to tell mummy that i came home this late. Slept at around 4 am den woke up 12 the next day. It's just another school day - cos i hvae to do all my homework n stuff. As usual, i wasn't in the mood to do it. On monday, i can;t relly remeber what happen but know that i was studying for my economic ' game' the next day. Hai~ wanna say sorry to my team mate.. i score 0 during the game cos i onli get 1 right yet i got a yellow card! argh.. econ sucks.
Today, had an interesting lesson during chinese though i did fell asleep as usual but at least i remember the stuff i learn cos the lecturer was really lame n funny. During pc, we did 2 rounds of warm up den do abt 20 incline which i was bad at it haha.. n shutter run. lol.. my reaction very slow eh. haha... den we have to run 400m below 2 minutes - 2 set. It was very awkard cos the 1st round i really run quite fast but yet the timing is like 1.49 den the second got a condition -if nv run below 2m, will have to run an extra round. I guess sometime some stress is useful.. everyone was afraid cos we were really tired. Ah ha.. i ran despite feeling tired n the timing was better- 1.40. I felt elated! Today i felt so embarrassed cos i was about to alight the bus on my way home so i stood up in the bus. Suddenly, the bus brake n i was in an unstable condition n i went forward thus banging into this guy. it was so ... n i said sorry thrice. aiyo den went to cold storage with my mum... n saw some sale display items. I took one of the item den place it back but when i place it back, i accidentally knock another item which went down like a domanio( dunno how to spell). Lucky no one saw so i pick up those which fell onto the ground n place it nicely on the shelf.
Lazy to do any work today so decided to slack around - tml will have tennis training den as the class treasurer, i have to go n count how much profit my class made for the love fiesta. tml also need to study math cos i decide to take the math retest.

@de|ine =>... strength to carry on...

mY mInd Is CoLlpaSiNG

I feel ease in the morning till i met my schoolmate n my whole day is down... was attending chemistry lecture but my heart is not in there. Tears filled my eyes... all of a sudden my notes was wet. I sent a message to someone i trust... my mind kept thinking about what is happening n what should i do but to no avail. I tried to keep myself busy but i knew i can't escape from my thoughts.. i have no control. Y must this happen to me every alternate year? I have enough! During economics lesson, i wasn't able to answer a questionpost to me cos i wasn't at all listening in class.. Wanna apologise to melissa for not being a good listener today. I know how much u wan to do it but u just couldn't, but i feel helpless too cos i couldn't offer any thing to you. I feel touched my ur mum's action... just remember not to give up on the things that u strive. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for everyone around mi... melissa, zhan yu n mi myself (though i know the road is tough, but i still wish for the best to happen)

In the middle of a uncertain situation
There's no way to find what is happening
I wish upon the stars
That I could turn everything from wrong to right
Bringing me into the world i beloved.
I m sick... :(
Need a buoy urgently..
U r not me.. u dun understand how I feel.

ade|ine => collapsing

A bOrInG sAtUrDaY

Dear diary,

I'm lost... wandering in a world of mine. I do not know what m i thinking right now. I feel flustered about nothing. Had tennis training yesterday, I felt a bit down because I just could not hit the ball with speed... just couldn't do it. I dunno what is wrong n do not know what to do. I have no idea how does the system of inter school competition goes but hope my doubles can get in cos there is 3 doubles n onli 2 qualify but we will still be in the team. During tennis, we had a drill so each of us have to play 29 balls. For every ball out or missed, we will have to do 3 push ups. Lucky me , miss 6 out of 29 which is equal to 18 push up. My serve still sucks... gotta buck up le. After tennis training, i meet my cousin to go my second aunt hse to bai nian... end up sleeping cos i were too tired. ANyway, my parents left at around 10 plus n they send both my cousins home. They wanted to send mi home too but they were late for a party in their fren hse.. so on the way to send my cousin home, there was a traffic light ( red light). JUst nice, beside there is a taxi.. my dad saw no one so he scroll down his window n wanted the uncle to stop in front so that i can take taxi home. I turned n was shocked! Cos my dad says there was nobody in the car den i turn and look. A girl with big eyes staring at me.., at that moment i really got scared.. cos she is dark with long hair n big eyes. Den my dad saw the girl n quickly scrolled up his window. Though i was terrify but it was quite funny... as the uncle look at my father as if he was drunk. End up i took another taxi home, took a bath , go online n sleep at around 12 plus. Onli to wake up near 11 this morning but soon after lunch i fell asleep at 2. Gone for tuition n only home at 6 plus.. so i slack all the while till now den wanna take my math to study but also cannot understand! So come online to blog... just now i were waching tv. saw westlife concert!!! Suddenly a impossible thought came in but i'll not say here. is a secret... lol. tml will be playing tennis .. yea! so happy... i wish i have as much pasion for tennis in my studies too .. jia you!

@de|ine => work harder..