Gloomy Day

28th Feb'06

Dear diary,
It's jus a day before i reached my doom day. My blood is gushing out every now and then... nothing can stop me from worrying. Don't really know if I had really given out everything in the past 2 years but i know.. for the last 6 months. Things wasn't easy for me. Since june holiday, i spend every single day studying though there are days i really wanna give up. Still i struggle myself through hoping someday something will prove to me all i did is worthwhile. Showing mi that giving up is the last resort i should take. Coping in the library from morning to night is like such a pleasure and kinda routine for mi. Every night walking pass NTUC, queenstown MRT station, Queens condo, the hawker centre , shell and caltex station to my house gate. This short distance of 15 minutes walk everyday helps to keep my memory alive. Recap what i have been doing on the day itself. I dunno what other people might say but i know how much i wanted to do well in this exam. Perhaps to others, this 6 months is not enough to do well but to me, i really give in all i have. Days when I just couldn't sleep cos i felt guilty of not studying enough thus, spend my night studying without a wink of sleep. Stress something i can never cope with yet i have to face it more than often from family, friends n definitely from myself. Can't imagine what i will do if i didn't do well. For all i know, i already screw up my gp paper which is like drawing the death sentence. Though i know i already did badly but somehow i feel that i will still cry if i fail my gp just like what i did after that horrible paper 1. Tomorrow thing isn't all about mi but my parents. I really dun wanna disappoint them but after my papers, i felt like it doesn't matter if i disappoint them cos i already did. ( just did't mention anythingy) Perhaps exam luck is just not with me everytime. From PSLE to O level n now to A level. Hurdle after hurdle... i nv get to where i wanna go. For me, crying is the only way i make myself feel better. The 2 weeks of A level, my family and friends saw how much tears coming from me. That kind of feeling nobody will wanna experience. It's so painful yet u feel so helpless. It's like standing in the court waiting to be sentence.. regret over what u have done. U wish u can turn back time. 'If' always appear at this moment of time... A level is a nightmare, yes i do agree. Suddenly everything seems so clear to me. How i couldn't get to sleep the day before chem paper 3. How i felt when i couldn't solve the math questions which i could while revising. How many times i asked myself is this the answer for that particular econ question n yet i still got it wrong. How i panic during my econ paper 1 and gp paper 1. Gosh... i must have did damn badly after this reflection. I wanna go have a break tonight... anywhere to keep this out of my mind. Anyone happens to read this, if u have the same feeling, u r not alone. Where can i go, who can i go with? Feel like running away to heaven to tell them to stop the time. I dun wan tomorrow to come. Hoping something will happen to me den i wun be able to know what happen tmr. Shall off my hp tmr cos no matter how many good luck n all the best u receive doesn't not make a difference.
All of a sudden, someone just came popping along my mind that is u- my hao jie mei ( if u know who u r) U r working right now haha. This 'holiday' i'm thankful to have u accompanying me. Been going out with you n really enjoy those times though we spend money like it's free. But happy is all i need n i've got it. Ya, indeed we've spent endless hours engaged in conversation about ' nothing' and ' everything' n I wouldn't trade those times for anything in the world. U rawk gal! Love ya lots =)


After the talk to a friend yesterday night, I felt that i did not do a great job at work. I kinda dislike my character sometimes, m i too easy going? I just wanna be nice to everyone i meet... but in reality, everyone says the working world is cruel. People just say things u dun wanna hear. Being good is also a crime.. zhuo ren hen xi ku eh. The standard advice is always ' ignore what other people say' Is not easy... that y certain things the more u dun know the better it is for you. Sometimes i really wanna ask people around mi their point of view about me to find out more about me. Do i really know myself that well? i *ponder*

Yesterday, went to watch basketball match at the old smu with denis. qwss against ntss... hmm qwss lost. Wanted to go over to tell them dun be upset but i thought about it, it's better to not say anything. Cos i know how it feels after u lost in a competition n no matter what others say u wun listen. U only know that it's finished, wanna be alone that's all. So i left quietly with denis, we went to marina square to watched - rumour has it. The show is nice. omg, jennifer aniston has a fabulous figure la. I love her hair! so straight, silky n nice! Hmm there are some parts where there are tears welled up. What makes mi flustered is my coughing! Cannot really concentrate cos i keep coughing, feel quite bu hao yi shi cos in the cinema.. cuz i so noisy. I like the last part.. thumbs up ")

@deine =>
I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go seprate ways

Where is my voice?

25thFeb'06

Dear diary,

Poor me, no voice to talk. Must be 211 la. So noisy den have to keep raising my voice cos there are 44 students in that class. Yesterday till can talk one.. today wake up is like i wanna say good morning to my parents = ... ? Stun, never experienced this kinda of situation where i have absolutely no voice! Anyway i may not be going to qwss next week unless they calls mi up again. Cos they have finally found a retired teacher to take over my classes. Yea, no need to worry about having to mark those scripts!
Uh-oh, next week gonna get my results back le. I dunno what i'm feeling now.. sometimes is like no feeling yet there are times i'm so afraid. What if i nv do well to go anywhere? i thought of repeating aother year but will i be able to take it? I dun wanna go through another year of the a levels, it sucks! Then, if i do well i also dunno what course to take. PLus, i threw the NUS letter away le. Think needa call the sch n ask them to send mi another letter. Haiz...
I wana go out later with rowena but no voice how to talk? Feel like going shopping after i got my pay. Buy accessories... eat dinner. Shall see how later. Yesterday nv really sleep well though i slept at 10 plus. cos got smses received every now n then in between my sleep. Woke up ard 9.

@deine = > speechless

Having throat pain

22th Feb'2006

Dear diary,

I think i'm losing my voice soon - tml? or the day after. These few days i've been going to the lower secondary classes and they are uncontrollable! Qwss might be taking mi in for a long term to teach geography and english but I don't want! My english is like ... I do not want to harm the students, morever, i didn't asked to teach english. Hate markings compositions when I myself can't even do it. Yesterday i were told to teach the secondary 5 geography. It was my sister's class so I asked her where her teacher has stopped for lessons. End up, i read up the textbook and did mindmap for the class to copy till 1am. Early this morning, i were told that there is a change in my timetable! Argh, waste my time! instead i'm to teach social studies which i were not prepared at all. As for the sec2 english classes, i played games with them. It was not really a success despite spending 1.5 hour just to write 100 'cards' - a word n it's meaning ... i think begin a teacher really isn't easy. The efforts u put in , the students just take it for granted. They don't know what u have done.. it's like ya, this is your job what.

Yesterday, I told Mr kamal that i can't teach english. I might have think too much about what he had mentioned. But i think maybe he's right too.. i never give it a try , how can i always say i cannot. Have to do some reflection here...

@de|ine=> need tons of honey water...

It's the weekend!

18th Feb'2006



Dear diary,

Went for my driving lesson today n i met the same instructor again! He's nice... It was pouring heavily n i'm supposed to learn my vertial parking. Argh.. can't really see the pole but i still managed to did it! Yea, finally completed my stage 3 n i have to wait till monday to go or my driving stimulaor n there i can book my test date le. Heard that needa wait till june... tt's long!

After driving, i went town to meet rowena. We were deciding what to had for dinner.. two weeks ago we went to cafe cartel n yesterday we ate the jap food on the basement level cos it's cheaper. Den we took neoprints! I lurve them. Been quite some time since i took it with her.. she said it was like 2 years ago. Time flies ya.. nv keep in touch with her alot while studying in jc cos both of us were in different class. Still i'm glad we can click like we used to be :) Great mind thinks alike like u always say. Haha we actually said the same thing at the same time! Went to shop around for presents for our friends. Also, she bought a pair of chain for her parents. I also wanna buy something for my parents but i haven think of what to buy for them. They seems to have everything le. Went up to cini cafe to eat cake n have a drink around 10 plus. We sat till 11.30 den leave the place.
Blur rowena who managed to get on the last train but get down at the wrong station! Haha.. how 'lucky' can she be =) Fortunately, she managed to reach out for a cab. had a great day with you! I shall ask u out the next time round... but have to control ur spendings since u wanna buy so many things!
Upload the neo prints...

My favourite!

simple and sweet



last minute work doesn't mean it will fail..


rowena looks cute but i look fat cos of my twisted top. I still like it!


Michelle gf, hope u will have a great weekend. I read through my past entries.. i found one of the entries on my thoughts in May 2005. maybe u wanna take a look , perhaps it's like what u feel. Cheer up. Yesterday was a great day for mi though there r a few things that i've been pondering too...


Humans are complicated creatures.
No one can fathom.
At times we just sat there thinking what wrong have u done.
Yet there isn't an answer.
Are we always suppose to take the first step to all?
No pain no gain.
That's what everyone says.
The truth is beyond what time can measure...

@deine=> no reply means ?

I'm in deep shit

16th Feb' 2006

Dear diary,
I'm feeling depressed n guilty now. A student just told mi how confused the math teacher was today cos there are alot of worksheets given out n not go through yet. I didn't know I had to go through with them. :( but i just remembered she say just show them on the board roughly how to do. Haiz... shucks i really feel very bad. She has so much work to do! But i have marked their A math homework as well as the secondary 3 ones. Gosh, he told mi that there is a locus test next monday n the teacher does not know which to go thru first. I feel damn bad, instead of helping her i like gave her more work! Can't do anything now , afraid to go back to qwss. later she asks mi what i did in class? Yet i feel like saying sorry cos i didn't know i had to go through with them. Come to think of it, maybe it's common sense that i should do it. Argh.. i hate making mistakes n yet i dunno what i can do to help. I wish i could do something! Help...
Went out with 5 students from sec 3 to watch movie - Pink Panther. It's not nice , only a few parts are funny. I think the plot is stupid.. no links at all. Hm.. would prefer I not stupid too.
I'm so broke to do anything right now. been spending too much money! Must learn to cut down but.. how to ? My parents are not giving me any money la, so when i go work or out, i'm like using my own money. How i wish i were in sch now. Got money, dun need to work though i wish i were working when i'm studying, have homework to do at home. Now i'm like so free n my brain are turning rusty. Maybe i should go take out my notes n rad.. but it's tough when there is no goal to reach. Usually i study cos there will be tests or exams n not for own reference. I'm getting lazy... nv even complete at least 5 books since A levels. always read halfway... i wanna brush up my english!

@deine = > feeling worst than ever

Happy Valentine's Day

14 Feb'2006



Dear diary,
Happy Valentine's Day! Spend my day in qwss.. receive some chocolates form the students :) Hmm I think I'm bias cos i only bought sweets for this particular class - 403. Just enjoy to be in this class... maybe the students are more interesting? After school, i went to bbdc for driving lessons . stage 3 already! i'm damn sleepy today la. so i'm unable to absorb quicky n tends to forget very easily. Hmm having problems with my reserve, dunno when to turn eh. always turn wrong side. the instructor must be thinking i'm stupid la. but he's really very nice to be so patient with mi... i think if other instructor would have be gone case liao. tired!!! dunno if tml they are calling mi back anot? wanna take a rest . This week chionging bbdc 4 days! hopfully can clear stage 3... receive prank call from someone whom i dunno but knows mi. The worst thing i can ever get is that students got my hp no from another relief teacher's phone ( they took his phone away!) hope i stop getting prank calls! irritating...

@deine=> love goes round the world

Great day

9th feb 2006

Dear diary,
I had a wonderful day in qss today... Just when i have decided n told the person in charge that i won't be coming next week, everything went so smoothly. :) the NT students handed n did their work completely in class. n 403, they had group study in the afternoon at 2.15. i thot their teacher not here so no work for them to do n i told them that they do not need to stay back. But sadly, when i asked the other maths teacher , she said she had worksheets for them. After sch, i went out wanted to get sweets for them instead n met the girls from 403. they asked mi to join them for lunch so i agreed while i get two guys to help mi get the sweets :) i were late, only had three mouths of what i ordered n had to rush back to school. When i went to the class , gave them the packets of sweets.. din know that 405 student was there. he was staring at mi den asked y u give their class den our class dun have? cos i also teach them.. uh-oh. now, i've to buy for all!
405 students really are the nerds as what the whole school calls them. gave them 6 worksheets on tuesday n they completed all by today. It's really a lot of work!
Sense of satisfation ...

@de|ine=> whole is full of wonders

Days in qss

8th Jan'2006

Dear diary,
Since cny, i been going to qss everyday. teachers there seems to fall ill easily! lol, n that's create job oppunities for people like me. The whole overall is ok except that i hate the dress code. Is like everything i wear also cannot lor! Normal t-shirts with really little design also cannot , thus i have to wear my black jacket the whole day. I'm like perspiring la. argh... already bought so many clothes yet still none seems to suit. I'm only allowed to wear plain shirts which i've only 2 or collar shirts. wore skirts everyday coz i dun have those working pants. These few days i have to teach maths. I taught the best class sec 4 a math on small changes. I have difficultly in explaining to them. is not as easy as i thot it would be. feel so helpless n lack of confident wheni stand in front of the class. I feel that i'm already shouting yet they still can't hear mi. I can't go any further..
N i'm taking the Nt students as well.. haiz. i'm wondering izzit the way i teach is wrong or the class nv pay attention in class. repeat 6 times on the cross mutiply method n yet they still say i dun understand! Told the class to stay back after school so that i can help them with their homework cos i feel that they can't do n wun hand it up tml. Put in so much effort but only a few students stayed back. Disappointed n sad.. i dunno what to do :(
In order not to harm the students in their studies, i decided not to go next mon n tuesday to qss. or rather not to go qss anymore. The school is just too strict for mi to follow. Hopefully hss will call mi :) have to do homework again...

@de|ine=> u never know u r alive until u live

nothing special

4th Jan'2006

Dear diary,

This year cny, there isn't any much collections :( Quite boring though... Anyway, finally i have completed stage 1 n has reached stage 2.05 for my driving lessons le. Hehe.. yesterday i went for 2 lessons consecutive. during the second lesson, i think my eyes were too tired. it was painful n there were tears. It was dangerous to drive with my blur eyes.. so i told my instructor n stopped by the side. Rest for a while den ok le. Went to aunt lily house.. i were exhausted already. woke up at 6.30am den reached home only at 1am. I dunno how to make lessons more interesting eh.. was told to teach additional maths on rate of change and small changes. but i dunno how.. shall read up more on it.

going tohave lunch now den meet up with rownea!

@de|ine=> pondering...

Happy chinese new year

29th jan 2006

Dear diary,

It the chinese new year! I'm so bored at home, how i wish i'm out somewhere catching a movie or a place where it's quiet. The day before ( friday) i went qss den to bbdc. things just went wrong in the morning. I wore a 3/4 pants to school n was told by two teachers that i can't wear tt n it's too casual. I din dare to walk around the sch.. n the sec 2 class i went in. I felt so embarrassed. The two students made mi read their comprehension so that they can do cos they insist that they dunno what it is saying. But some words i really dunno. though they din say anything cos halfway i really felt like giving up but they say teacher continue.. we also nv say anything. I just felt guilty. they are really nice :)
hai~ think i'm a lousy driver n may not even pass. My instructor was strict n to mi i felt he is fierce though he denied. i felt tears in my eyes , thankfully it din rolled down. it was my first time learning it , i feel that he should be more patient n not except mi to learn it on the spot. I'm very pissed out.. really feel like scolding the f word in front of him. Wth... i pay him to get 'scolded' ( cos he says tt he is not scolding) is like whatever... argh i dun wanns get him again but it was't my choice cos i'm in his grp. chances are like 25%.

met elmo on the train at 6.30pm to go suntec city. Lyn n kc were celebrating their b'day. they treated 13 of us to kenny roger. thanks to both of them. I felt uneasy over there cos there are a few of the frens they invited whom i really know them well in fact hardly talk despite we were from the same secondary school. The feeling is totally weird. anyway, before that elmo accompanied mi to go find chelle to get my pay. after the dinner, elmo n i din go with the crowd to watch movie. instead we went to holland village - tango's restaurant for a drink. I drank cosmopolitian- cranberry. it's nice! elmo had lime margarita n we ordered fries. i had too much potatoes that day. blur mi ordered all the potatoes side dishes in kenny roger. fattening!!! after which, we went to join leroy. he's waiting for us in the coffeeshop nearby. chit chat while he was eating.. den left ard 1 plus. Hmm felt that the taxi fare was ex.


was tired after a long day. darkness falls.. i'm back into my old self. stoning in the air- my thoughts ran wild... may everyday of tml be a better day.

@deine=> m i being materalistic?

my day in qss

26th january 2006

Dear diary,

Today i went queensway secondary to do relief teaching. They rang mi up at 7.15 and i reached the sch around at 8am. I was supposed to have 3 periods from 7.40-9.30. but they made a mistake cos there is another teacher taking over the classes. Which means i have till 11.15 den there are lessons! Went to the canteen to eat alone... den meet a few of the teachers there. they are all very nice. Hmm.. n the relief teachers there too , same age as mi. walk mi around the sch.. the sch has television in the teacher's lounge hurhur.. i watch tv lor. I find the students in qss are much more discipline than hss students however hendersonians are mroe fun! i took the lower sec students so it's better. Hmm... was so sleepy in class cos i think i slept only at 3am. Tml i'll still be there to relief n it's chinese lessons! can you imgaine mi speaking chinese? i can't... hopefully the students dun ask mi how to write any words that i dunno. shall bring a dictionary there! bought a pair of heels just for the relief teaching thingy cos the school requires mi to wear shoes with strap ard my ankel or covered shoes. been spending alot on clothes n shoes... gosh tml still have dinner at kenny roger in suntec n going to mos ( maybe) cos i might be unable to take it. it's gonna be a long day for mi tml! erm.. hope that i dun feel sleepy while driving n able to teach chinese without stuttering. i shall tryt to sleep early tonight!

@de|ine=> to find you , i need power

25-01-2006

2am. Cold. Dark. Alone.
A young shadow sitting by the side of the pool. Her feets were cold and watery. An urge to fell in. Emptiness was all she felt.
Sleepwalking?
Everything in life seems perfect. All that she hates weren't there. Time, freedom present always. In the road ahead of her, she saw nothing, not even a flash of light. What does she really yearn for? Friends? Family? or Love? Friends are essential yet the real treasures are so hard to find. Family are people whom she has no rights to change them even if the sky falls. Love seems so far away to become reality... A moment of silence. She's running... running to find the correct path. There's a crossroad - Recreation, Future and People. Pondering which path to go... she chose to turn her back. Too afraid to face anything new... too afraid to see what the future lies ahead of her... too afraid to meet anyone. She's an introvert. She's can't cope with the world she's living in. What can she do?

@deine=> was it a dream that seems so real?

I passed!

24-01-2006

Dear diary,

I went t take my final theory test today! I were the last few to went out of the room la cos i like never study for it. Were so afraid i would fail eh. But thanks goodness, i passed! Haha... called rowena to accompany mi to go shopping for clothes to wear to school. Headed to bugis. I suppose to get myself some shirts with slevee but i dun like to wear it! Argh, plus i dunno what is nice or not. walk ard the edge, i saw two tops not bad n suitable but i nv bought it. as i thot i could go bugis street to check out first. Walk around bugis street, i bought a shirt for 12 bucks n no more.. walk to icon bugis point. thought it would be like a normal shopping mall but it's so small! i think walk for less than 5 minutes can complete le for each level. i found the leather skirt that winnie told mi. it's nice but i find it not practical so nv buy. I got another top for 27 bucks.. that's all. rowena , lol.. suppose to accompany mi to shop but end up spend alot more than me. Cannot imagine that she is such a big shopper.. shop with her really nice!
yesterday i went to hss to relief again. haha, finally i get to teach mathematics! but... can you imgaine teaching pythagorus theorm for an hour? but it's ok la, cos relief lessons usually are slack! den phy lessons, mr tan help mi to conduct the lessons .. heard some stupid jokes too n ended up sharing with 2e1. i shall do some homework- to find out what activities can i do in class so that it will make the class more lively. alright.. i go do some research! watched memoirs of geisha- it's marvellous! i like it!

@de|ine=> some things are not meant to be said...

2nd driving lesson

18-01-2006

Dear diary,

Today i didn't went to school.. went for driving lesson instead. Went out on the road... it is so different la. i almost bang the side of the road! dunno how many times i say sorry. haha, but my instructor is nice n says it's ok, i'm still doing fine. Aiyo, i think i very blur eh. cos when driving,needa look out for alot of things. Needa know which line must stop, must look at the mirror for behind vehicles, oncoming cars, signal. too many things at one go, i can't concentrate! I make a very dangerous error today. when i stop the car, i forget to shift my gear to N or P, den when i going to get down the car, the car actually move! Scare mi... den my instructor like blur too, he says sorry that it's his fault that he forgot to tell mi. but luckily nothing happen. Friday is my third lesson.. pray hard, things will go smoothly!
Yesterday , my relief thing was good :) the secondary 1 n 2 are easier to handle. I took dnt , they only have to trace the drawings.. so they finished it quite fast. 3 periods, i were thinking what can we do lor. As usual, students sure say play game but what game? Common lor.. hangman. Den i talk to them, instead of calling my sir name, they call mi jiejie. haha.. ( this was 1e2)
1e3, quite noisy. They needa do their history worksheet but no one wans to do. I'd to get them doing so no choice.. wrote on the board that ' complete the worksheet if not no recess!' Woo, it works! immediately , they do n at the same time bargain! There's is boy - joseph, he's so cute! Small size den thin thin one.. like pri sch kid eh. Then some were like.. we do 5 qns n above, den u give us go recess can? Actually, i just wan to get them to do their work, no intention of making them stay back. The girls who came back from health screening were complaining! I'm not that evil, when the bell rings, let them off for recess n one of the guy says he feels cheated. ... what can i say?
i can't teach english... feels quite bad.
Best class which makes mi wanna fall asleep in class. too quiet! They did their work without having to threaten. 1e1 really is a good class.. all the angels :)

tml last day relief le, hope i will have another fun day! problem is my clothes.. all not fit to be teacher! haiz. sian!!!

@de|ine=> life is perfect if u wants it to be

My first day teaching :)

16-01-2006

Dear diary,

Was sleeping comfortably on my bed though there were noises around mi. Finally peace... 'Ring Ring...' argh, thot i could at least get some sleep till 12pm. 'Adeline , is it possible that you come to hss by 7.50 for relief?' .... it's 7.20am when they called. Took a cab ( 5 bucks) n reached just on time! Phew... step in only, i heard mrs yeo's voice .. as usual talking abt discipline. The feeling is so difficult to descibe cos i'm not there to study anymore. see those teachers also weird but at least i know the environment well.
I were there to take the science lessons - chemistry.
1st class- 1n1. omg... can faint. all talk so much despite getting scolded already by their form teacher. Luckily, they were sent for health screening. Hmm.. i had difficulty in controlling them to sit down n be quiet.
2e3
they were good just that i'm lousy. haha.. cos i tried to teach them science but they just dun understand. so i gave up! They did their own stuffs= talking...
4e2
I had a great time in this class although the class boys were erm... noti. I talk rather soft cos they can't hear mi. Maybe i look kinda scare.. den this boy says ' t'cher dun shy eh... u shy den we also dare not learn.' ( i dun get the link...) One had no shoes n was barefooted. I taught them chemistry but the laptop screw up halfway. Hee.. at least they understand n remember the mole concept formula. :) Got bombarded with questions that were not related to chemistry. Having to get them to go up the board is like getting an ace for tennis service. ( cher, i'm sick la) ( cher , the maker stinks.. i will faint) ( cher, my leg pain) ( act like i not there, turn and talk to his parnter) gosh... i have to use the magic word .. please? but end up i did it myself! haha.. but they were like my sec4 class in 2003- always save elctricity one. dun need the lights so that can slp. i realise, it was no use cos i can see everyone so easily.
3t1
waiting to go into the class is already a problem. what more can i expect? a supermarket was where i stepped into. As if there weren't any chairs. they are so energetic! Now, both the sexes makes mi feel so lost. i dunno what to do. They have a bladder problem i think.. keep going to the washroom despite saying 'no'. just walk out ... asking them to put on their tie takes a million years. one actually asked mi to tie for him. 'No, get your fren to help you. i don't know how to tie.' Purposely one lor, he tie himself till so short! but i nv said anything. One boy in the class deserves claps... the class is really like a fishmarket already, yet he still can do n ask mi mathematics! wow.. amazing. hope he do well n dun get influence from his classmates :)

It was really a great experience n i enjoyed myself very much though i think i feel pai seh by some things they said. After all, i were a student before. It feels really different to be a teacher. i can't laugh when the students say something funny but it is not good. have to act angry, very difficult. just like what we were in the past, t'cher dun 'dark laugh la' ( in hokkien) ok... hope tml gonna be a better day :) needa turn in early le. goodnitez

@deine => i'm a workalcoholic!

Typical saturday

14-01-2006


Saw this website in ee mei's blog http://www.drawahouse.com


This is my analysis :
Your house tells the world that you ought to be a leader. You are good at making friends and when the joyful moment arrives, you make the most out of it. You are shy and reserved. If you've drawn a cross on each of windows, you always want to live alone. You are very tidy person. There's nothing wrong with that because you're pretty popular among friends. son.

You will avoid being alone and seek the company of others whenever possible. You love excitement and create it wherever you go. You see the world as it is, not as you believe it should be.

You added a flower into your drawing. The flower signifies that you long for love. It also safe to say that others don't see you as a flirt. You are self-confident and happy with your life.

another test.
About 2-3% of the U.S. population possesses the combination of traits that make up this personality type.

As an INFJ (That means you are more Introverted than Extroverted, Intuitive than Sensing, Feeling than Thinking, and more Judging than Perceiving.), people who appreciate high quality will usually notice you. Intuition and emotion are your type's strong suits. As a result, your sensitivity and adept communication skills can almost immediately put people at ease. You aren't the kind to overwhelm people with senseless babble. You'll usually prefer to be a good listener. Those around you can often sense this integrity. They may even implicitly know that they can trust you without you having to say a word. Chances are that your insights have helped any number of people during their time of need. In relationships, your warm personality helps you to quickly forge deep personal bonds with others. Easygoing and harmonious, you tend to dislike petty arguments and are usually very forgiving of minor transgressions.




It's saturday today! I woke up only at 12pm... nothing much to do. I went to swim, it's been long since i went swimming. i think a year plus already. Swim for a while, this is the only exercise i'll be doing this week cos tml i'm nt gg for tennis training as i'm going to attend the ntu talk with my pw gals :) N it's shopping day tml! I wanna get a black leather skirt.. dunno why got the urge but if anyone of u see it, tell mi ok? thanks! Yesterday, we went to ntu but left at 7.30 cos we are all tired already. my mouth is so numb after making like more than a thousand calls this weeks. Instead of working, we went shopping at jp. Ate mos burger den go walk walk .. i bought a pair of white shoes. Hee.. i work only earn 18 bucks but i spend more than what i earn. Keke... i still can't find a job for myself cos i wan to find one that has flexible working hours. Hopefully the tuition agency or any schools will call mi soon :) Since new year, i haven see my sec school friends le. Think they are busy with their exams ba, Denis went in army on the 7th jan i think. This week i everyday go ntu to work from 4-10 pm, so dun realli have the time to go out too. Finally i pass my advance theory evalution le! I think i'm so lousy la, do all the practice but i failed all. Dunno how I pass my evalution also but i memorise some answers la, so the practice did help :) My second prac lessons is next wed. Think i will still stuck in the circuit for being such a 'cannot make it' driver. my sense of judgement is very bad... i hope tml dun rain cos it is our second pw outing after one year plus later... must rmb to bring my camera. now everyone is jobless le.. cos meli there dun need temp staff. shall sit in my room for a while n see what i can do next week. argh, dun realli want to go out cos transport fees very expensive! i'm still a student lor, y make mi pay adult fair? within 3 days, i can spend ard 10 bucks just for a trip of bus n mrt ( to n fro). last time only less 1.50 per day lor with the same no of trips. I'm so broke.. dare not ask parents for $ yet i still haven get my pay :( only can look into my savings which should be untouchable! Help! i prefer sch life cos still got pocket money, can go play after sch or during the weekends, at least something to keep mi occupied cos i'm someone who can't do nothing even for a day. ok, time to plan some activities!

@de|ine=> walking down up fleet of crystal stairs, she saw it. stretching her hand as
far as she could, she saw it fading. she wanted it so badly, only to
realise it doesn't come easy.

Part time tele-surveyor

11-01-2006

Dear diary,

This week, I have a part time job doing tele-surveyor in NTU with cheryl, michelle and her friends :) Hmm it is about calling the public to ask them some questions. Initally i were scare to call cos I am afraid of getting scolded by people out there. Overall, it is still ok though some were quite rude. I tried to ask using chinese and it feels weird la cos it has been 1 year since i learn chinese and speak proper chinese. I realise that the more jobs i took up, the more I learn to accommodate these people when I'm out. So next time if i encounter such survey calls, I will help. Having a job really helps to pass time. Nothing much to blog abt, hope the rest of the week, i will encounter more god people on the line...

@deine => No life is a waste. The only time we waste is the time we spend thinking
we are alone.

My first driving experience

06-01-2005

Dear diary,

It was my first driving lesson today. Was really scare when i were sitting on the driver's seat. But after a while, i feel much better. I like my instructor hmm cos everytime i see the instructors there like very fierce and strict type. So quite scare but today mine was nice. Perhaps there is some common interest ba - tennis :) Hmmm i think we talk more on other things than driving content? But i think he covered all that he should so should be ok ba. I was practising on the driving n reverse thingy so that wheu i stop the car wun jerk so much. Can't get it really right though. Then went round the circuit.. haha dunno how much to turn my steerling wheels. got one time i turn den go into another lane. I hope my second lesson will be better. Gosh, driving lessons are so fast n expensive! eh... i fail my evalution by 4%. i dun really know how to answer those questions lor. wenli was with me, she pass her evalution liao. congrats!! lol, so nice of her to accompany me n 'help' mi in my evalution. haha.. ok , i know this is bad. shall do it myself next time round. i'm still rotting at home. yesterday went to gesps to apply to be a relief teacher there. i chat with ms lai, so long (6 years) i never see her. still the same , chat with her for almost an hour! well, hope i can get to relief at least for a day ( just wanna have a feel of it ) erm.. i shld be going to tuition agencies instead of finding admin work due to the inflexible hours for office jobs. i wanna take driving lessons... book most in feb. actually i could have agree to work for 1 month which the job agency asked me. but i want to try out teaching more so i rejected. hai~ silly me.. always so indecisive in everything i do. only to regret in the end. please dun always give mi those days when everything also can.. as in all jobs available den i have to choose.
tml will meet up with my jc schmates to play tennis! so long nv play le due to xmas n new year...plus the lazy me.

ade|ine=> sleepy

Year 2006

03-01-2006

Dear diary,

year 2005 has gone like a breeze... too fast for me to breathe. A beautiful year though it contains unhappy memories too. A year that I found myself in true friendships. One of them almost came to a halt but was salvaged.

To you gal, thanks for creating such wonderful memories. Times we spent studying in the library, meals, outing trips ( just the two of us), even our birthday gift gave me deep impression. Your blurrness n cuteness never fail to bring a smile on my face. U r really a special gal n i'm thankful to meet you. Come to think of it, I find some things we did in the dark were silly. I'm like laughing over it whenever i think of it. We thought it will bring some unhappiness to people around us but end up nothing happen. If u know what i mean :)I hope year 2006 will be a more fruitful year for both of us despite less time spent together.

My bestest bud in jc life, ups n downs we been through but courage from u n me walk us to this far. We are just like shadows that never leave each other in school. We may hurt each other at one point of our friendship. but you know what? I think this makes our friendship more sturdy. Like what you say, hope our friendship will go down the road .. 10 years, 20 years.. n on n on. Words may be lesser but in one part of my heart, u stand a special place!

My dearest girlfriend, i can't say i understand you well. Cos we are both complicated creatures hurhur. But we share the same feelings n thoughts , perhaps we are both scorpio. Thanks for the advise you gave when i needed one. I admired you one way or another. You have the do what you want n dun care what other thinks gut which I still can't acquire. I need time to learn it haha... that is one of my weak point.

My pals whom i hang out with on special occasions like xmas? I may be quiet around you guys but I love listening to what you guys chat about n enjoy when u guys play around. Some stupid jokes here n there. You guys are fun.. trust me, i enjoy being with you all. Looking forward to year 2006 - hopefully more people join us.

In year 2005, i went through another hurdle , my 'A's. Something i dreaded no matter how old I'm . Exams just wasn't something i can handle well always. I screw up here n there , i cry as if the tears were free flow. I were a silly gal who always want to jump from the hilltop during this period of time. My lowest time everytime... But soon, all gone n there i've my class celebrate the birthday for the late babies which include me :) Hugs to everyone who stand by me n believe I can, be there to leash out all my anger n frustartions. I'm sorry if i say anything that hurts.. i didn't mean it.

My very first job throughout my life in aas was great. Will never forget about it. It's there i realise how lucky I were n yet regret that I left. Nvm... all good things come to an end right? Someday I shall go back there n have a look :) Hmm.. haven get my dec pay. I'm excited about it!

First time go clubbing too... shan't say more.

My very first prom night! Shucks, think I'm falling in love to put ON make up haha. Like so fun n i think it makes u look different. But it is bad for the skin so hmmm i dunno. Take my time about these unimportant things.

This year, I think i spend more than any other years on accessories, gifts, shopping... days where i spend 100 bucks i becoming so often that i feel so guilty. My savings are going down ... after all these years of savings. Year 2006, time to replace all i spent! It's payback time! to my parents esp. My goal in year 2006, to earn n spend within my own limits...

It's time to pick up driving lessons. I rather be drived around than driving people cos i think driving is not fun at all at this moment in time.. having to go through the advanced theory!
But needa pass no matter what it takes...

year 2006
hope my a levels goes well , that's the most important thing
find a job that i like asap with reasonable pay ( enough to go hk , spend n return my parents)
Go hongkong with elmo! ( most excited about this)
Have my driving liscense ( can snatch car from kor)
pick up one or two new skills ( pondering)
eat more healthy food n exercise more!
be more decisive n confident! ( this is very tough)

May 2006 be another year full of surprises n joy! Less saddness n tears!

adeine=> looking for a more meaningful life

prom pictures

31-12-2005