Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The Keys to Your Heart
You are attracted to obedience and warmth.
In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored.
You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.
You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic.
Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with.
Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.
You think of marriage as something that will confine you. You are afraid of marriage.
In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
Your Dosha is Kapha
Calm and grounded, you are not prone to mood swings or anger.However, once you do get angry, it takes a lot to cool you down.You tend to think a little slower than most people, but your logic is astounding.Overall, you very loyal and trustworthy. You're not scared of being who you really are.
With friends: You enjoy their company, but often listen more than talk
In love: You crave connection and affection. It's hard for you to be single.
To achieve more balance: Exercise vigorously (especially in the sun) and let go of attachments.

Life

dear diary,

These few nights, I've been catching the WC fever. Yesterday brazil - ghana was a great! I feel that both teams are rather strong. At least ghana is better than italy! So france will be meeting brazil for the quarter finals - it should be interesting i hope :)

Went to takashimaya with my parents - had lunch. Den off to Ps , i had my tuition fee loan settled. I can't wait for my scrapbook making lessons den i can go to spotlight to get all my stuffs. This scrapbook gonna costs a bomb!

At 5.30, with my track shoes on wearing banister pe shirt. ran at least 2km n i could't make it anymore. Lousy! Walked to the nearest cc n i got the schedule of all the classes. None of them interest me :( Met my cousin's wife on my way home n we chatted for a very long time about my uni course, interest in taking up assignments in a tuition center... n b4 i knew it, i reached home at ard 7.45.

Spent a few hours online doing research on my photos in usa. I wanna make my scrapbook a more informative n memorable one. Was finding related article on zero ground. As i read, i felt.. i felt the feeling of losing special people. The bravery of our heros who survive the tragedy. I salute everyone esp our young ones having the courage to move on despite the pain. Of all these, i share your sorrows. The actions of people struggling in the tall buildings is beyond imagination. Heartbreaking was the only word that could describe my feeling.

In my room, i was pondering about life. About relationships between pple, about miracles, about careers, about happiness, about everything. N above of all, i still do not understand the underlying reason behind everything that happens.





Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Can't I have the best things in life?

Dear diary,

Does everything good really have to come to an end? I once thought studies was the biggest mess in my life. Now that I had got my choice of school, I do not have my choice of people around me. But in the past, it didn't really bother me that much. I stepped into Hss without any familiar faces nor did i have close pals around mi when i went to Jjc. Of coz i had my worries , just that it wasn't as bad as this. I went there n it widen my circle of friends. Why did it matters so much to me now? I just have to go through it once more will do rite? Is that so tough?

As the saying goes - do not have high expectations cos the higher u have, the more likely they gonna hurt you.

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@deine => Is life gonna get better this way?

Monday, June 26, 2006

New blogskin

Dear diary,

Finally, i can miss out my habit of typing the date of today. It's all back to 1 month ago - waking up to have the house to myself. Sisters went to school, parents on the ground of bukit timah hill n korkor slacking in his army. I woke up at 8+ this morning, was not feeling that good. Cramp sucks. Took shower n glue my eyes on the tv for hours. Michelle gf msg that she can't make it tml nite.. so sad :( Nvm.. understand that you're busy with ur packing n getting everything ready for thursday. I miss you lots gal!
Everyday i walked past my bro room n the guitar always appear right at the corner of my eyes. I was damn lazy to pick it up to learn it. New skills .. hell since i started saying i want to learn something new. Can anyone enlighten me or motivate me to do it? My reading habits has long since disappear.. i could never complete the whole book now.
I took the wheels to drive home from orchard. Seems like I m rather afraid on heavy traffic. My parking seriously horrible!
Medical checkup suppose to be last thursday but i was working so decided to postpone to this week but seems like i can't make it again cos it's my inconvenient time of the month. Argh.. y must we have medical check up n still got chest x-ray. The thot of having to go for medical check up just turn me off. I know it's normal to go see a doctor when u're sick. But my frens around me can tell you, i m not someone who will heads to the clinic :) So my records in school is perfect.. i haven miss school days since primary 6.
Last night i was watching WC with my sisters. Woo.. england rocks! Beckham scores a goal at 60'. Beautiful kick there.. he's such a hunk! Whatever haircut he has, he still looks good as ever! I think england could have scored more but wonder what is Lampard doing ytd? Hmm he's not bad looking too - similar to lee ryan from blue rite? He had a no of good chances of getting a goal but misses it! Saw the effort that Rooney put in n he should have been given the penalty kick la when the two players blocked them.
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Been enjoying life after A level, kinda worried when sch starts. This morning, I was considering if i should stay in a hostel afterall cheryl might not be staying with me. What if my roommate is someone i cannot hang along with? I will be unhappy everyday right? At home, i have everything - tv, computer, meals, air con n my family. Hmm.. shall put the thought of staying in the hostel on hold 1st.
Another day of rotting home huh?

@deinelookingforwardtopartying!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Sat nite

25th June'2006

Dear diary,

I'm in trouble! Never realise that the deadline for my NTU forms was on the 23th June. Shucks big time! Only to found out from Cheryl yesterday afternoon. Qucikly filled them up but need to take pic.. thanks to my digital cam, daddy took it n print it out for mi :)
Cheryl went to NUS business interview and was accepted. Glad that now she can make a choice to study business in Nus however tat would means I would get someone whom I dunno as a roommate n that's pretty scary. Well,as for cheryl,do what u really wants ya ..
Went out with Rowena ytd to catch a movie n had dinner. We watched Just my Luck..it's just an alright movie. But it is hardly possible that one can be so lucky nor unlucky to that extent. More likely it happens to be unlucky for a day den everything will be back to normal the next rite? Anyway Mcfly songs are rather nice, I partiulary like their lyrics. We had swensen for dinner, we ate baked rice. It's amazing that we forgo ice cream cos i really feel full. Eversince that 4 days, i really feel that i'm fat lo. Girls there are tall, slim n beautiful. But i'm sure not everyone is perfect rite? So y m i complaining? Haiz.. human beings are such complicated creatures. Will there be anyone who will be happy with all that he/she has?
Didn't wanted to go home so early despite it being 11+ already. Msg lyn, they were planning to go her hse. But go there also nothing to do .. can singapore have more interesting night activities? Took the last train with rowena n met a few qwss students by chance. I was rather shocked n shy.. cos we will be alighing at the same station. I walked real fast, it was dark to walk home from the station. Yet it's nice to have the cooling breeze n peaceful surrounding. I wanna go for a drive... but when can i do it alone?

@deine=> there's something left in my head

Friday, June 23, 2006

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Photo taking sessions

22th June' 2006

Dear diary,

My eyes hurts n my smile is numb. Today we practically had a phototaking session, at least 50 times. Gosh... we are pay to work not to take pictures! But it was fun cos the booth opposite us asked to take pic with us n in turn we asked for their free gifts which is a photo frame n moniter cleaner. Hee.. the free gifts in this exhibition very good lor cos only VIP can come in. However , my company quite budget leh. 1st day, we gave all the free gifts away den there is no more left for the rest of these 3 days. That explains our boredness. People from thailand, korea, japan, pakistan, brunei, usa etc... think all of them very rich ba. Haha.. never expet that I will get this kinda of work experience. Now i understand the sorrows of those models for car exhibititon le. Dun understand why people take so long to take a pic.. after a short while of smiling, it really looks fake n lips will tremble. Moreover, it's cold - i got a flu n my feets hurts frm wearing the high heels. Yea, tml i will get my soccer bag from germany! Haha.. that's the good thing about this job! Know more of the show girls from other company n u get free gifts from them hee. My eyes caught hold of some really nice handphone pouches by Gola. they are selling it tml afternoon . Dunno izzit expensive leh cos it costs $15 yet it is something that nobody will have it in Singapore i think. Yesh! tml last day of work le... hope next time also got these roadshows leh. Quite alright cos u get to see different pple. shall bring my camera tml n take more pictures abt the exhibition.

@deine=> sleeping

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

I'm not a hostress!

20th May' 2006

Dear diary,

My 1st day working in expo was not as bad as I thot. In fact it was rather relaxing n time passes real fast :") Reached there ard 9.30 den we get changed on at 10am. At first, winnie n I dun dare to step out of the washroom cos we feel tt everybody is like looking at us. But very fast I feel ok le. It wasn't as cold as we thot too. Our task was just to put all the brouches into packs with a gift. Pple frm all over the world are the SAME! Free gift queue how long also nvm lor! Wth.. we only got 2 pairs of hand.. how fast can we go? Then had half an hr of break... wanted to walk ard to get some gifts too haha ( y m i the same as others?) But we didn't... while working, we had photo shots too. Hmm winnie n i dunno how to reject pple leh. Well, we saw other girls who dressed with lesser cloth than us , some not so nice one while i think i like the soccer girls outfits. Two other girls working with us but they were seperated - one serve drinks n food ( gd leh, can eat) while the other promote phones ( not really promote , more of translating) so our tasks all quite slack.

Hope tml can go ard to see other booths too. N may it be a better day!
Goodnitez.. i'm tired.

@deine=> sometimes we have to give everyone a chance rite?

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Bad job

17th June 2006

Dear diary,

woke up at 8am to get ready to go for my job training in expo next week in the afternoon. Met winnie to eat breakfast den off we head to expo. It was so disappointing - there isn't any training at all lor. Went down only to get our uniforms. I was shocked by our uniforms. Felt conned! It is a dress n we were wupposed to wear boots but my feet doesn't fits with gloves. gosh.. something which was beyond what i was told la- formal wear? pui.. what kinda of formal wear is this?
They should have hire models instead n these dress are so big lor. At first I hesitate to show mummy cos scare she scold but after i have shown her, she decided to alter it for mi. Thks mum! Hope these days i spent working will be pleasant n fast.

Went to changi airport after that to swensen. We ate banana crumble - not bad :) Sat down at the viewing area for a while before we left. Felt really tired... went home n off to my bed. doze off

Yea, tml no tennis training! Finally i had a day to rest. this week had been fruitful yet it passes rather slow, i wonder why. Tml maybe i wanna go jogging in the evening, gonna train my stamina.

@deine => tired..

Friday, June 16, 2006

essential brews nice!

15th June 2006

Dear diary,

Pw outing is fun!!! I love these times when we talk and laugh over silly things n of cos making fun of each other. I was starving but the others were nt hungry lo! Went to wala wala n we odered salad, pizza n lagasa. They had a live band on the second level but i thot maybe we could walk around cos quite full. After which we went to essential brews. A really nice place to hang out esp with frens. I particalarly like the concept of the cafe at the second level. Something that is quite zen... sat on the soft cushion laid for us. We got one of the best sits beside window. Ordered drinks - mich ordered the berry tea which is rather nice. Nice smell! Hmm i had alpine mist which i enjoyed it most among our drinks :) Not sure what meli ordered but the taste is unique n cheryl's one not so bad - tangerine sth.. Felt that their service is too slow? N i was the last to get my drink sob sob...We were so obsessed into taking pictures that we took almost everything - the drinks, the desert n of cos us! In between we had some comedy between the waiter n us. Lol... it was hilarous. Think we look insane to the waiter n waitress. Had some deserts before we left - brownies n ice cream. The ice creams are yummy! 4 different flavours - mocha , hazenuts, macdamia n butterscrotch. The butterscrotch blend in perfectly with the brownies.
Think i wanna treat daddy to essential brews this fathers' day. Hope he likes it!


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Our drinks! Guess who is the greedy one. ( it's meli) haha.. kidding, mine is full cos it came last n we took sips from hers. Michelle one looks like ribena :P

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michelle with her berry tea.. hmm pleasant smell

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i'm stuck beside cheryl!

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some group photos cos we had NOTHING to do!

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meli n mi :)

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i like this pic cos we are at our right positions haha rite gf?

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doesn't it looks cute - serving with mini sizes? but it makes u full!


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it looks sinful!

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Taken by the waitress


Gonna hang out there soon rite gals? 27th june, i'm overjoyed now.

Tml i m going for my job training le. Must be presentable! Looks like i can only go to my hairdresser either sunday or monday.

This week damn shiok! I saw potential in my tennis- finally i found the love of my life. Uncle james is very good! he's patient n willingly to teach me everything. If only he is my coach... All these while i haven't been giving all my power for every shots. But ytd, i did n i saw how fast n deep my balls went.
All of a sudden i remember a quote that i saw on this shirt ' Love means nothing in tennis'
ok, dunno what i can link it too.

Just drove my sisters n dad to mac to get supper. Lol, my parking really sucks badly. Wonder when will i every do parking without daddy helps. Comment from sisters - i drive very fas n kept asking how come i will pass due to my parking :0 . Gals, learning in sch is different ma.. got six poles to assist me! Now no poles, i dunno where to turn. next year u all learn le den u know whaha...

@deine is a happy gal.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

1st time on the expressway

14th May 2006

Dear diary,

Haha.. took the car off to jjc to get my cert. Wooh, driving on the expressway is like crazy! The cars there just dun give a damn. But it was fun having the hit the accelerator petal full kick. 90km/hr... fast lane change... but i can't do the parking. Hmm maybe later got chance to drive again to yishun. Hope my bro get more leave then i can get more driving.
Back to jjc, i didn't felt anything at all - dun have the ' finally, i m back.' No flashes of memories appear - does it mean i did not have a gd time there?

No leh, i met so many wonderful frens n we skip lectures, tutorial to go meli hse to watch dvd once. Skip yoga lessons for shopping trips rite meli? Hide in the cafe den play cards, eat sandwiches, spaghetti, drink ice blended mocha, play tennis till we can't see the balls. Had a great time setting up our very own Haunted Mansion as well as selling cup corn ,sauguages n had to bbq under tt hot sun! During physical fittnes, despite the tough training we went thru it all. It was there what i learn pe is all about. Breaking records of my own in all the 5 esp standing board jump which i could nv pass or just pass in sec sch. Now i can proud to say i can jump! Izit b'os of meli blue shoes? haha... 2.4km which is so common for us as we run at least 2.4 every lesson. Did crunches which gonna very much make u groan for the next few days. One sweet memory was running with meli while studying for our chinese test. She just loves to run to matter what mood she is in. I will be the one accompany her to run den stop n say eh u run one round den later i join u. Lazy i know but she really run fast n very good stamina. Time spent talking crap, joking ard.. sitting at the last row every math lecture cos we want to talk n not copy notes or just tired so can slp. Think back, really should apologise to mdm lim - our class tutor. Patient + kindess = mdm lim. Glad that i did not disappoint her in the math papers. Miss yamuna is the best chemistry teacher u can ever find - her laughter is something i will nv forget. it's very contagious! Her stories some also dunno is real anot - quite exaggerated. But i love n hate her lessons. Love her stories telling but hate her questioning. See her big eyes staring at u when u r loss of words. N mr tan - he is very creative in his lessons. Enjoyed playing games which makes lessons more interesting. Economics is a subject i nv thot i could made it which I scored an O level pass when i was in jc1. Not so bad after studying everything ya. Well, 2 years gone in a blink. Time for a fresh beginning of 3 years.

After yesterday talk with winnie, dunno if the job i will still get it anot. Well, if dun have at least still have back up :) Anyway sch gonna starts n i think relief teaching is still available esp on the 1st day of sch.

@deine=> life is more interesting when everything goes smoothly.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

courses

13th May 2006

Dear diary,

It's a busy week for me!!! Monday i had driving test.

Today, i was woke up by a phone call frm the job agency to fix a time to go for interview. Hmm went to wheelock place at 11 plus den walk into zara n bought myself a nice off shoulder. I think their stuffs are not as expensive as what i thot. Signed up under SDU - srapbook design university for one class which costs me $35 for a lesson. Hmm hopefully it's fun n interesting cos i wanna to learn n decorate my photos. It shocked the person when she asked how many photos i had lol which is abt 200 or more :) Treat my sister lunch to n off for my interview. Din know where the hell is parkview square but it was nice! A beautiful place - i think night time even better. Had two person to iterview me.. bombarded me with situations and ask how would i react? den ask y i choose this job when i had no background on customer service line. Since it's a china company - speaking n listening to chinese is essential. Luckily i still can make it so chinese is after all impt. Hmm.. they look like they are looking for models cos must be at least 1.65. Haha.. i'm just nice! Felt that so far my jobs gave me good pay. Yupz. so expo hall 5 IT exhibition i will be there working frm 20th to 23rd. Think my legs will break after long hours of standing.. n my mouth will be numb cos need to talk n smile. Quite excited though..

Yea, if i can wake up at 6.30 tml. I will be able to drive for the very first time after i pass. Should i be lazy? or shld i get myself to the ground of bukit timah hill? N tml night gonna meet my PW girls - chilling out at holland village! Yea.. finally a gathering since jan. Gf is leaving to further her studies so it could be our last time meeting before she leave. Must take pictures n enjoy ourselves. Right now, i'm cracking my brains on where to go for dinner.

Thursday- after dental i need to rush for my facial appointment. Then tennis coaching by uncle james in late afternoon. Tiring to rush here n there . argh!

Friday still on hold - might on sentosa. But i might have to forgo it cos i'm going to my hair dresser. Gosh i dun want to miss sentosa outing again!

Saturday - lol, daddy just told me i will be having my driving lessons on sat. Hee.. learn how to park which will be held at mei ling street near the stadium. Cool!

Sunday - usual tennis training.

@deineispraying

Monday, June 12, 2006

Pass my driving test!

12th June 2006
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Dear diary,

Nike rocks! Good tennis match yesterday night. Nadal - a raging bull with lethal forehand wins it all! Well played!

Wooh!!! I pass my driving test. Yesh.. no more trips to bbdc for lessons, no more worrying abt tt crazy instructor n what's more, who cares if i can't do my parking well. I just did it! Hee... got 16 pts off. Suppose to be 12 but silly me, so honest n own up my mistake. I strike the kerb abit while doing vertical parking. The tester wasn't sure n after the whole thing he ask if i knew my mistakes? I say ya.. my vertical parking. wrong turning pt ( actually the parking was damn screw up) Den he nod his head den flip n tick. Dang! I thot tt's it.. i saw a lot of 2. Den he started counting... 19 was what i saw sitting opp. den he says ok go down to the briefing room, u passed. Gosh! The test was less than 30 minutes.

My warm up, i alredy fail right at the start. Was nervous while waiting. There were like 15 pple in the room. One by one.. names were called. Waiting for mine - time passes damn slow. My heart pumping real fast. I thot i was forgotten for good cos left me alone in the room. Only after 15 minutes, the tester came in. He looked fierce, strict, white hair n old. Got test route 8 ( one of the toughest one) but it's ballot so no choice. Hehe.. think he is good cos he shorten my test route n there's no u turn when there suppose to be one. Really very short only, moreover i nv drive some of the roads b4. But overall, thank god for letting me pass my 1st attempt n for the good weather too . :) Appreciate it so much!

@de|ine is blessed.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Long last frens knows me best!

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10th June 2006

Dear diary,

I'm suppose to meet jain but last minute she is not feeling well. So met up with lyn n gang. They are a bunch of friends i love hanging out with. From shopping to nothing to do to sitting down chatting to going home - there is always a smile on my face. Lyn and shili are damn funny la. While walking ard or buying things, there is likely to be commotion among them n the sales people. It is interesting just looking at them talking, bargaining , finding sponsor. Lol.. can't see me nor any of my jc frens doing suh things :) It' a good way of entertainment!
We had really late dinner though i was starving. N i ate alot! Get to have my aunt amy chewy chocolate at cafe cartel again. Yummy yummy!
Had nothing to do after dinner, i wanted to get photo album to have my pictures placed nicely. But can't find any nice albums but it's ok. Take my time ... Walk from cini down to i dunno where but still town area to find a place to chill . Landed in coffee bean and left as it closed at 1am den headed to the nearby mac. Mac provide real good service huh - 24 hr delivery, live world cup telecast. Good money there too :) Some some weirdo with his hair all stand up n it looks like it pricks if ur finger touches it like the thorns of a rose. Alright.. i'm exaggerating.


All i wanna say is i really had a good load of time together with lyn, shili, fang lay, kc and roger. Big hug for all of you who made me day a pleasure one! Looking forward to hang out with u guys more often! Sentosa tml? Pray hard weather is good pls...

@deine loves humour!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Driving

8th June 2006

Dear diary,

This morning, i was woke up by the bustling and lightings. This is the result of having to share ur bedroom with ur siblings! Argh.. early morning one by one make noises while getting ready to school.

watch some tv den go nee soon with my parents to bai bai that everything goes well for me. Haha.. my parents trying to be funny la say that they will follow behind my car den help me get rid of any cars that are in my way during my test. Lol... siao. if like that can pass, then everyone can pass easily le! Went driving lesson again today n damn it. This was the day! Ya, i met him n i learn from winnie to be quiet. Phew... i did some mistakes n when he start saying anything.. i just say sry. Darn... today my mistakes all quite serious. Anyone of this happens during my test, i gonna get immediate failure! Traffic, predestian n the lights .. pls be nice to me. Come at the right time ok? I' m chanting something that is not within anybody control. Anyway, tml also gonna get him lor. Wth. I try to be nice .. try to answer his questions. n try not to repeat my mistakes that i made today.

Supposed to have tennis but it was drizzling. Was rather tired too. Tv is such a wonderful invention! Wonder what life will be for me without the tv. I practically living off the tv from the moment i wake up till the moment i slp. With the scv - i watched beauty and the geek, french open, some police show n a lame show ( from 8-9.45) , singapore idol results. Hmm i think jasmine is nice - she looks real sweet. But rahmina looks like another paul twohill who needs some haircut n less acting cool. Actually gryail ( is that how u spell her name?) she's not bad too. But once the world cup starts - i expect some squabbling between we the three girls n my bro. Been trying to play gods these days without having proper meals. Bread till 4plus den had peanut paste and dinner. Feel hungry now. Haiz.. haven been excerising this week yet. Sunday better not rain in the morning and evening

@deine- back to french open!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Same old day

7th June 2006

Dear diary,

Hanging around at home .. lying on my sofa with the tv on , clicking ard with my mouse staring at the com. Time up! Time to bathe, get dress up n off to the bus stop , alight at mrt station. Get down at JE den set off to Bukit Gomak. Shuttle bus .. car.. shuttle bus n the same routine repeat over n over again

Life is that boring huh? Late evening - went to the red track / tennis. Night time - it's the time for French Open 2006. It'll be semi finals soon... maria is out! Gosh.. she actually lost to Safina. Leading 5-1 n got defeated to 5-7! Ball is round as the saying goes. there's no certain victory sign despite leading far ahead.

I wanna pick up new skills but i m damn lazy. Izzit too late to learn now? I wanna learn dance .. n i'm inspired to learn piano( too late i think) so guitar would be a better choice. Anyone wanna offer to teach me guitar? Ever since i'm back from USA, the thought of going for a sun tan or a swim has been on n hanging ard forever. I wanna catch the summertime in sentosa someday.

Been looking out for some sportswear sales. I wanna get some tennis outfits! Any good deals out there? Been searching online for an hour but i found NOTHING. Will be meeting Jain this friday.. maybe we can go for some late night shopping / a movie / hang out n grab a drink somewhere nice. Looking forward!

@deinegetsnothingdone!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Sports is a way to put away troubles

4th June'06

Dear diary,

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Running on a piece of green land
Bounded by the white lines
With a weapon to leash your anger
Wallop every bright yellow bullets with all your might
Your eyes are filled with hatred
Every sound of contact became victory
Deep and hard it goes


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Looking far ahead
Run as your legs carry you
Look upon the sky
Engulfed with grey clouds
Catching your breath
With all your troubles behind you
Look back
Glimpse of the distance you ran
You're tired...

@deine=> solitary



Saturday, June 03, 2006

Embarrassed

3rd June ' 2006

Dear diary,

These few days I haven been feeling good. I get easily frustrated and confused about the things that I do. Mood swing? Perhaps... n yesterday was the worst i can ever experience during driving. What's wrong with me? I got the instructor i wanted... but i did too many mistakes that i can't forgive myself too. Idoitic vertical parking that i can't work it out. Freaking hell! I did this for countless time n still get in wrong. He tried to help me yet i still couldn't do it rightly. Feel like giving up! After vertical parking, i went on to directional change.. halfway through i knew something was wrong. I wanted to amend it - an empty mind i had. Water was in my eyes. I tried to hold it back. It wasn't like those times when u can turn ur head away n pretend u weren't upset or bothered. Driving requires me to look at the road all time.. it was hard to pretend. I had no idea what happen n my tears just gush out in a split second. It was then he was shocked - asked if it was b'cos of driving . Insist on saying no b'cos it's not all his fault tt i cry. I'm just angry with myself for not being able to do things right despite all these practices.
Can't do the circuit courses in this state. I just felt like telling him that i don't wanna drive n i wanted to get out of the car. But I didn't- i didn't want my parents' money to go to waste. Went on the road.. n the more he asked, the harder i cry. No control over the amount of tears i had. On the road, i drive n stare at the road really hard that i think it's gonna pop out. Somehow after that drive, i felt better. I was really quiet - complete silence in the car.
In the end i just told him I'd a bad day. I've been getting more bad days recently. Apologise for scaring him ( though i m more sorry for not being able to learn what he taught)

Went tomeet up Cheryl to look for her evening gown. Went to tiong baru n walk around den to town. Spend quite sometime in Daniel Yen in Hereen. I think she looks gorgeous in the second piece that she tried on. Yupz.. anyway i bought a pair of sandals in Tiong baru. After walking around, both of us were felling hungry. She had ate bread with ham n cheese while i ate something light since we got up n those lasts us till like 6. Remembered of those happy times in Billy Bombers, we went in again. Ordered Oatmeal fish n fries course meal to share.. not bad. After the main course, cheryl says that there is ice cream to be served but i said i dun think so. Anyway. there is.. but i was feeling really full then. Headed to cinleisure den to taka. Cheryl bought a few cosmetic yesterday - lip gloss, lip sticks ( frm body shop) - cheap 2 for $19.90. then mascara , eyebrow liner while i bought za fountation ( great deal of only $12.90) and sheseidon blusher ( it was ex!) . Gss was good n bad- good that we ae able to afford more things with the same amount of money we had but bad as in i think we tend to spend more than we should. The sales n reduced price always give us the excuse that ' hey, it's cheap n worthwhile .. just buy it ' Cheryl got herself a converse top for only $13.90. Taka has lots of sales going around. We wanted to go to Holland Village for a drink but decided not to after we caculated how much we had spent within these few hours. Near $80 .. n if we were to continue with these happy moments - it will bounce up to $100. Keep it for another time!

By the time we were going home, i didn't want to cos i'm still bothered by what happen while driving even the whole night n now. CHeryl was so nice, she accompanied me home. Thanks! It gave me a phobia of doing vertical parking cos i knew no matter how many times i try, i still cannot do it. This feeling ain feels good. How am i going to react when i see him again? - pretend nothing has happened? How m i going to drive for the coming 5 days with the high chances of getting someone i dislike n worst still the test is in 1 week time. I wanna quit this game!

@deineisbothered - is she thinking too much?

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Day Sucks!

31th May 2006

Dear diary,

Went for my driving lessons ytd n today. I met a female instructor ytd. She's damn good la n a very shuang huai person. Enjoy her lessons :) Also i think yesterday i was so lucky cos i did my parking once only n i got in! It's like after 3 months of playing, enjoying n seriously i forget how to drive. Right at the start i thot .. it's going to be a goner cos i forget my handbrake and want to start driving le. Phew... i'm blessed!

But today it is a nono .. n better not happen on my test day. During vertical parking, i'm suppose to turn one round den full lock but i forgot n turn full lock right at the start.. no wonder it was a mess - big one! Thank god, he's patient n help me recap. Finally i realise my mistake. I was feeling tired n not focus .. it nearly landed me up the kerb on the road. Need to read up.

Next week gonna sucks big time. Sure meet tt scary instructor at least once lor. Count me blissful if i'm able to change grp or not meet him for the 5 days!

After driving lesson today, went for grocceries shopping with my parents. Had a really early dinner, had fun with daddy. all the jokes n teasing.. feel like a small girl again :) Then went to clementi to get my photos. Nice! i wanna place them in a nice scrap book n shall decorate it. Reach home , just nice for Singapore idol. I think the last 3 not bad.. Jonathan is a gd potential - top 5 ya ( dick lee says so) Hope he gets in . Den 9pm , switch to scv channel 55.

My flu is getting worst in the night - wondering how m i going to get a sweet n nice slp?

@de|inegonnadreamofcarstoo