Saturday, May 12, 2007
Friday, May 11, 2007
missing you gal
dear diary,
it was 3.13am this morning when i actually wrote a long entry but it's all gone! Boo... lousy blogger, waste 1 hour plus of my time.
hmm let mi recall what I have wrote.
I'm pondering how human beings understand their feelings and know what to do at the right time... how our brain actually works. I felt my heart dropping at times just like i
'm sitting on a roller coaster. No idea why i feel this way though... Feelings we felt at a particular point of time is different and it might never occur again, that's why we keep dairies to write our everyday life. And as days passed, we can flip the pages and relish those days no matter it is a sad or happy entry.
Just finished reading a book by Mitch Albom-just one more DAY. Although i may not understood in depth about what the doctor is trying to convey but i love his writing.
From his book: the word 'divorce' in Latin means 'to divert' All divorce is to divert you, taking you away from everything you thought you knew and everything you thought you wanted and steering you into all kinds of other stuff, like discussions about your mother's girdle and whether she should marry someone else.
But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometime they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story because hers is where yours begins. Mother's day is around the corner... it's time to thank all mums for the beginning of our stories.
Wednesday
I finally managed to hear melissa voice! Talked to her over skype. It's wonderful having to hear from her again despite we being so far apart. Realizing how much we have missed in each other life like the white glasses she is wearing now, her birthday celebration with her hostel friends and having to do assignments. Jia you ba. Soon you will have your one month break le!
Thursday
Yea.. it's my last day of work! Hee...finally i can get over this dull life of working in the office. No more hearing og complains and seeing her irritating face. Nevertheless, it's one more job experience added into my resume on shipping logistics. Now i understand a little on the process that needed to be done before shipment can be process. Have to fo shipping advice, pro invoice, tax invoice , getting samples for customers. Yupz..This is my 6th job , of all i still like relief teaching and roadshows better. Both jobs offer different kind of sense of achievement and happiness. Hmm, from what i have learn in organizational behavior last semester in school , i totally agree that responsibility in a job task is important in motivating someone to work. And with it, it gives more meaning and of cause a sense of achievement too. Relief teaching is challenging where i have to learn to dela with situations on the spot , also enabling mi to learn new things form the students. It's fun too! While roadshow i can gain new knowledge from our customers too.
Ever since i started working, i sleep right after dinner till 12 plus den wake up to watch tv and chit chat with my youngest sister. Cindy fell down yesterday.. it looks damn painful lo. She fell down while training for roller blading for this ndp.
Friday
I fell asleep only at 4plus near 5 after my entry is gone! Woke up at 7 cos today i had to bring elmo to work den went to meet my parents at bukit timah hawker center. Wa... the cab fare damn expensive cos it's peak period. My breakfast is super costly lo. Lol, cab fare is 6.50 from bukit batok to bukit timah. Not sure if i'm going out today... Cheryl is still sleeping. Otherwise, we will go International Plaza to apply for other jobs.
Had a short conversation with mummy the other day.
" Didnt you realize that daddy has aged?"
"Nope... i don't think so leh. He looks the same to me."
" Recently, he become thinner and older. Told him not to think so much already cos he keep thinking how to earn more money for you all. In 3-4 years time, all of you will start to work already. But he wouldn't listen."
After hearing this, i was upset. I didn't like to hear tht my dad is aging.. cos it means i might lose him someday. Being someone who is very important to me , I can't imagine a life without him around me. Thinking back, maybe i never really put myself n his shoes. Hopefully, i can save these amount that i have earned this holiday so that i dun have to rely him on my expenses... Might not be gg to hk le.. cos rowena parents' like disapproved. yupz... it's ok, can go next time ba.
adeline
it makes me think that the scars represent the regrets of life.
it was 3.13am this morning when i actually wrote a long entry but it's all gone! Boo... lousy blogger, waste 1 hour plus of my time.
hmm let mi recall what I have wrote.
I'm pondering how human beings understand their feelings and know what to do at the right time... how our brain actually works. I felt my heart dropping at times just like i
'm sitting on a roller coaster. No idea why i feel this way though... Feelings we felt at a particular point of time is different and it might never occur again, that's why we keep dairies to write our everyday life. And as days passed, we can flip the pages and relish those days no matter it is a sad or happy entry.
Just finished reading a book by Mitch Albom-just one more DAY. Although i may not understood in depth about what the doctor is trying to convey but i love his writing.
From his book: the word 'divorce' in Latin means 'to divert' All divorce is to divert you, taking you away from everything you thought you knew and everything you thought you wanted and steering you into all kinds of other stuff, like discussions about your mother's girdle and whether she should marry someone else.
But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometime they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story because hers is where yours begins. Mother's day is around the corner... it's time to thank all mums for the beginning of our stories.
Wednesday
I finally managed to hear melissa voice! Talked to her over skype. It's wonderful having to hear from her again despite we being so far apart. Realizing how much we have missed in each other life like the white glasses she is wearing now, her birthday celebration with her hostel friends and having to do assignments. Jia you ba. Soon you will have your one month break le!
Thursday
Yea.. it's my last day of work! Hee...finally i can get over this dull life of working in the office. No more hearing og complains and seeing her irritating face. Nevertheless, it's one more job experience added into my resume on shipping logistics. Now i understand a little on the process that needed to be done before shipment can be process. Have to fo shipping advice, pro invoice, tax invoice , getting samples for customers. Yupz..This is my 6th job , of all i still like relief teaching and roadshows better. Both jobs offer different kind of sense of achievement and happiness. Hmm, from what i have learn in organizational behavior last semester in school , i totally agree that responsibility in a job task is important in motivating someone to work. And with it, it gives more meaning and of cause a sense of achievement too. Relief teaching is challenging where i have to learn to dela with situations on the spot , also enabling mi to learn new things form the students. It's fun too! While roadshow i can gain new knowledge from our customers too.
Ever since i started working, i sleep right after dinner till 12 plus den wake up to watch tv and chit chat with my youngest sister. Cindy fell down yesterday.. it looks damn painful lo. She fell down while training for roller blading for this ndp.
Friday
I fell asleep only at 4plus near 5 after my entry is gone! Woke up at 7 cos today i had to bring elmo to work den went to meet my parents at bukit timah hawker center. Wa... the cab fare damn expensive cos it's peak period. My breakfast is super costly lo. Lol, cab fare is 6.50 from bukit batok to bukit timah. Not sure if i'm going out today... Cheryl is still sleeping. Otherwise, we will go International Plaza to apply for other jobs.
Had a short conversation with mummy the other day.
" Didnt you realize that daddy has aged?"
"Nope... i don't think so leh. He looks the same to me."
" Recently, he become thinner and older. Told him not to think so much already cos he keep thinking how to earn more money for you all. In 3-4 years time, all of you will start to work already. But he wouldn't listen."
After hearing this, i was upset. I didn't like to hear tht my dad is aging.. cos it means i might lose him someday. Being someone who is very important to me , I can't imagine a life without him around me. Thinking back, maybe i never really put myself n his shoes. Hopefully, i can save these amount that i have earned this holiday so that i dun have to rely him on my expenses... Might not be gg to hk le.. cos rowena parents' like disapproved. yupz... it's ok, can go next time ba.
adeline
it makes me think that the scars represent the regrets of life.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Roller Blading
Dear diary,
I started working on Thursday at International Flavor and Fragrance... do those ad min stuffs but i was really piss off cos i did only filing the whole day. It like damn boring can! There are only 2 other females working there and one of them keep giving those kinda irritating face, as if i owe her money like tt. What the hell... i nv even offend u. Damn it! I tried to be nice lo, still try to ask her nicely. Idiotic, anyway i no longer have to see your stupid face! I'm quitting!!! Think i'm your slave? Hell you... i'm paid to learn something not to do stuffs which u dun wanna do and ask me to do hor. As i blogging, i'm burning hot fire. The whole day all i have done is to punch hole and file them. The cupboard is like above of her computer so of cos i will have to ask to get the files ma, den she give mi those face i feel like slapping her and ask if i offended her in anyway? Argh.. having to make mi feel better, i decided to listen to the music. Heck care le though i nv ask if i can listen to the music, i not happy can always quit since i'm helping out my uncle and they doesn't know. Haha, was sent there to be a spy. The second day.. i continue my filing and finally finished le! Den she ask mi to run errands for her, like get sample and documents. Nearer the end of the day, yea.. i have got nothing to do! Whahaha... i'm efficient man! So i read the newspaper till time to knock off.
Anyway, i'm worried.. i can't handle office work. I dislike it lot! How.. m i really going to be an accountant in the future? I will die of boredom! Remember the only time i last was 2 weeks at AAS doing data entry den the other one at Informatics i also quit after the 1st day. And now it happens again. Gosh... i told my parents i really dun like office work, told them i prefer interactive kinda job where i get to communicate with people and do different things everyday. So i told them maybe next time i go be air stewardness or teacher. They didn't seem to be approving of me wanting to be an air stewardness.. cos i have mentioned it to them since I get back my A level results. Thot they always wanted me to be a teacher dunno why they suddenly change their mind and say " bu yao la, hen xin ku.. ni kan leeyin jiejie ta men, toh bu yao zhuo le..." Haiz... what's wrong with being a teacher? Can interact with the students and make a difference in their life. everyday u will be facing challenges and never know what to expect. I love it lor although the pay might be low as compared to a accountant. Hmm.. never mind, still long ( 2 more years to decide)
I'm looking for new job again le after this wed or Thurs when i will stop working in IFF and pass it to Elmo to do it. Urgently looking for a job because i have book air tickets to hong kong with Rowena so gonna earn my own expenses which i calculated, think i need around 2000Sin ba, Crossing my fingers and hope daddy will sponsor my air ticket or give me some expenses haha. We will be going on the 11th of jul till 16 of july. I can't wait!!! First time gg holiday with my fren and just the two of us :) free and easy! so sad that cheryl can'y go cos her dad dun allow :( Dun worry gal, we will not forget u de esp your pressie :) and lotsa photos hee
And if i'm gg to pulau rendang with my secondary school friends, i will have to work extra hard le. haha what a good incentive to work right? work liao den can go holiday :) but thinking of long term, i wun have any savings :( so gonna spend wisely! i feel like working as a waitress behind my parent's back but yet afraid of getting caught.
Yesterday i had lotsa fun roller blading in east coast park with rowena and cheryl. i remember last year we did tt too. $8 fo 2 hours.. it's really worth it. Loving nature so much! the breeze, the trees, the sea. Hope i can go to pulau rendang with them cos i'm loving the sea lots and lots. anyway, we saw a few celebrity there - Felicia chin, mark lee, and two others. Both cheryl and rowena fell down while skating.. butts hurts ouch! But rowena injured herself - her leg and wrist there. I see le also scare. We went to parkway parade to buy bandage from guardian. While helping her to put the bandage in the washroom, i thot i was gg to faint cos my vision became blur and was feeling dizzy so i immediately went out to sit down. Think maybe i nv eat or lack of glucose in my body so i felt this way.. hee went to eat crystal jade! Yea.. i like the egg tart and char siew saw :) yummy. order macaroni - not nice. den we walk around the shopping center, bought famous amos cookies. Happy day! Maybe we can go roller blading every sat? haha den all my sat will be occupy with a healthy balance.
Recently, i hae turn to a pig! I sleep 12 hours every single day without fail.i slept at 2am last night and work up only to realise it was 2.30 le. then on days when i am working, i slp right after dinner! this is wonderful man, i never thot sleeping is such a pleasure - it helps you to skip meals and save money whahaha.
Life can be as simple as you want it to be
Look at it with your innocent eyes
Remember the good and forgo the bad
One with a generous heart will live life happily
Just as the way it works now...
I wish it will always be.
For you, I pray you will be here soon.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Tons of thoughts
Dear diary,
It has been months since i blogged... these 2 months have been busy with projects and revision for exam which is finally over! I'm overjoyed.
Where should i start blogging from? Hmmm, this semester i have been through many happy moments doing ob project. I m so proud with my group members for coming up with our very own coca cola video acted by james and directed by zhen hao. Hee, it's one of the most memorable project team cos we spend many nights eating pizza and meeting up so often working hours and hours. Having to skip my only day free on friday just for ob project but nevertheless, i still had fun! You guys can view their work in youtube -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acwZgopFU7M Thank you for giving mi such a wonderful experience. As much as i had fun in ob project, accounting project wasn't that great. I was so stressed over both the projects, often having to seek help from my frens esp kelvin, cheryl , enguene, james n zhen hao. Remembering the day when i actually had to run to hand up my pbl, having to stay up till 5am everyday facing excel. N those emails we had to send just to gather more information and rephrasing.Luckily all these hard work is paid off cos we get A- and A for the projects. Well done gal! Way to go!!!
In school, I wasn't chill at all.. i wonder what's my limit of stress. I feel so different during school and holiday. In school, i also complain like how stress i am and those sleepless nights and empty stomach. I even can skip meals the whole day and only eat in the middle of the night, only to realise how hungry i was. Sounds like i'm torturing myself but i think of it as a good way of dieting haha. This exam is different from others.. i have been studying with my new found friend - cheryl choo. Slept over at her air-con hall for the past 1 and a half week. We had very little time for revision for this exam due to project ending only at the last week of the semester. I never felt so unprepared for any exam until i came to university. For my elective, i had only 1 day to study for it.. and i had an instinct that it will be my worst paper. As for accounting, i can only say both cheryl n I were lucky. Cos out progress was so slow that we never complete the chapters before the papers. I wonder what we were doing for the 5 days - power napping and chilling out too much? lol, phew.. luckily we went through the tutorials. Well, i can only prayed that I can achieve my goals for this semester but not pinning much hope anyway. Having the give up mentality for few papers, i already lost the motivation. The only thing that kept me going is because I didn't want to disappoint my parents so i will hang on. This exam period is one of my most relaxing period all thanks to cheryl and enguene- i had all my meals as well as ice creams for supper plus many power naps in the afternoon haha. Spend a few days studying till we see the sun then crawl into the bed. hehe.. it was fun. Thanks Cheryl for being there with me to go through this tough time.
After paper yesterday, we went out to town! Cheryl bought 2 tops and we went to catch a movie - 200 pounds beauty. It very nice!!! I was laughing right form the start of the movie- nv laugh till so happy b4 lo. Haha, i really felt it was from the bottom of my heart but i also tear at the end. it was so touching. both the lead actress and actor are so hot!
I'm gonna make plans for this holiday.. today went to body shop and spend 300+.. dunno what i buy also but it's a lot! PLans:
to go hongkong with rowena
oversea trip with my e2 frens
watch central affairs I, II
shopping
facial n dental appointments
hair treatment
n not forget to work! i need the cash for my traveling...
to all my friends who have yet to complete their papers.. please preserve! All the bests :)
It has been months since i blogged... these 2 months have been busy with projects and revision for exam which is finally over! I'm overjoyed.
Where should i start blogging from? Hmmm, this semester i have been through many happy moments doing ob project. I m so proud with my group members for coming up with our very own coca cola video acted by james and directed by zhen hao. Hee, it's one of the most memorable project team cos we spend many nights eating pizza and meeting up so often working hours and hours. Having to skip my only day free on friday just for ob project but nevertheless, i still had fun! You guys can view their work in youtube -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acwZgopFU7M Thank you for giving mi such a wonderful experience. As much as i had fun in ob project, accounting project wasn't that great. I was so stressed over both the projects, often having to seek help from my frens esp kelvin, cheryl , enguene, james n zhen hao. Remembering the day when i actually had to run to hand up my pbl, having to stay up till 5am everyday facing excel. N those emails we had to send just to gather more information and rephrasing.Luckily all these hard work is paid off cos we get A- and A for the projects. Well done gal! Way to go!!!
In school, I wasn't chill at all.. i wonder what's my limit of stress. I feel so different during school and holiday. In school, i also complain like how stress i am and those sleepless nights and empty stomach. I even can skip meals the whole day and only eat in the middle of the night, only to realise how hungry i was. Sounds like i'm torturing myself but i think of it as a good way of dieting haha. This exam is different from others.. i have been studying with my new found friend - cheryl choo. Slept over at her air-con hall for the past 1 and a half week. We had very little time for revision for this exam due to project ending only at the last week of the semester. I never felt so unprepared for any exam until i came to university. For my elective, i had only 1 day to study for it.. and i had an instinct that it will be my worst paper. As for accounting, i can only say both cheryl n I were lucky. Cos out progress was so slow that we never complete the chapters before the papers. I wonder what we were doing for the 5 days - power napping and chilling out too much? lol, phew.. luckily we went through the tutorials. Well, i can only prayed that I can achieve my goals for this semester but not pinning much hope anyway. Having the give up mentality for few papers, i already lost the motivation. The only thing that kept me going is because I didn't want to disappoint my parents so i will hang on. This exam period is one of my most relaxing period all thanks to cheryl and enguene- i had all my meals as well as ice creams for supper plus many power naps in the afternoon haha. Spend a few days studying till we see the sun then crawl into the bed. hehe.. it was fun. Thanks Cheryl for being there with me to go through this tough time.
After paper yesterday, we went out to town! Cheryl bought 2 tops and we went to catch a movie - 200 pounds beauty. It very nice!!! I was laughing right form the start of the movie- nv laugh till so happy b4 lo. Haha, i really felt it was from the bottom of my heart but i also tear at the end. it was so touching. both the lead actress and actor are so hot!
I'm gonna make plans for this holiday.. today went to body shop and spend 300+.. dunno what i buy also but it's a lot! PLans:
to go hongkong with rowena
oversea trip with my e2 frens
watch central affairs I, II
shopping
facial n dental appointments
hair treatment
n not forget to work! i need the cash for my traveling...
to all my friends who have yet to complete their papers.. please preserve! All the bests :)
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Saturday, February 17, 2007
A lonely soul
Dear diary,
These 3 weeks passes without me knowing that it...
An overwhelming feeling came over me. Like how much away I was from everyone emotionally, mentally and physically.
As much as I enjoyed those times i spent with them... many of the times when I'm alone, i really thought I'm staying on an island.
Just about bringing this week up is a misery and what make it worst was the special days we had.
On Monday, i spent all my break time in the reading room trying to study which of cos didn't work out the way i wanted. Tuesday was not any better... woke up early in the morning to get my ob presentation slide done. Having to study for my quiz and getting the biology report done before i get to bed which was already like 3am. Worst still, Melissa is leaving to Australia at 12am flight n i wasn't able to be there to send her off. It's was a sad feeling back alone in hall, having a close friend leaving you n only like 9 months after will i be able to see her. What a lousy fren i am ! Melissa, if u r reading this - I'm missing you and was hoping you were to here to talk to me. Now that you're in Australia, it's so hard to reach out to you as compared to when you're in Singapore. Nevertheless, i know you are standing by me to give me that extra mental support. Do take real good care of yourself there... you might be sneezing right now cos someone is missing you so much.
V day happily came along on wed which started the nightmare. Had elective quiz and spending my day in hall studying for accounting two quiz till 4am. Had early lessons on thursday n continue mugging - my mind was so concentrated upon entering the lec theatre n after i step out, i knew finally everything was over but again, i jus didn't have the mood for anything. Had reunion dinner with my hall n colors award meeting which lasted for 7 hours. Had a talk with sadaf till 7am n went to bed. Headed home around 10am but slept thru the day till it was dinner time.
Came to realize, it's new year holiday and i haven got any new clothes. I wanted to go out to take a break n to shop too... but as i think through. Who can i call?I only needed someone who can accompany me. Melissa whom have been going out with me for the past 3 years to get new year clothes is in Australia. Cheryl nv pick up her phone.. Rowena is in bugis waiting for her mum... Shili and frens gg to zouk... I felt so away from everyone. I felt as though i haven been home for 3 weeks.. my non- presence at home seems to diminish my closeness with my family members.
It's time to retreat back to my little own world. Guess my presence is not important.... Adeline, u r such a loner and insignificant. This world would have still survived without you... you are not needed!
All i was looking forward was a time when i had nothing going through my mind. I'm such a complicated person to comprehend. God, would please change me? I'm weak!
These 3 weeks passes without me knowing that it...
An overwhelming feeling came over me. Like how much away I was from everyone emotionally, mentally and physically.
As much as I enjoyed those times i spent with them... many of the times when I'm alone, i really thought I'm staying on an island.
Just about bringing this week up is a misery and what make it worst was the special days we had.
On Monday, i spent all my break time in the reading room trying to study which of cos didn't work out the way i wanted. Tuesday was not any better... woke up early in the morning to get my ob presentation slide done. Having to study for my quiz and getting the biology report done before i get to bed which was already like 3am. Worst still, Melissa is leaving to Australia at 12am flight n i wasn't able to be there to send her off. It's was a sad feeling back alone in hall, having a close friend leaving you n only like 9 months after will i be able to see her. What a lousy fren i am ! Melissa, if u r reading this - I'm missing you and was hoping you were to here to talk to me. Now that you're in Australia, it's so hard to reach out to you as compared to when you're in Singapore. Nevertheless, i know you are standing by me to give me that extra mental support. Do take real good care of yourself there... you might be sneezing right now cos someone is missing you so much.
V day happily came along on wed which started the nightmare. Had elective quiz and spending my day in hall studying for accounting two quiz till 4am. Had early lessons on thursday n continue mugging - my mind was so concentrated upon entering the lec theatre n after i step out, i knew finally everything was over but again, i jus didn't have the mood for anything. Had reunion dinner with my hall n colors award meeting which lasted for 7 hours. Had a talk with sadaf till 7am n went to bed. Headed home around 10am but slept thru the day till it was dinner time.
Came to realize, it's new year holiday and i haven got any new clothes. I wanted to go out to take a break n to shop too... but as i think through. Who can i call?I only needed someone who can accompany me. Melissa whom have been going out with me for the past 3 years to get new year clothes is in Australia. Cheryl nv pick up her phone.. Rowena is in bugis waiting for her mum... Shili and frens gg to zouk... I felt so away from everyone. I felt as though i haven been home for 3 weeks.. my non- presence at home seems to diminish my closeness with my family members.
It's time to retreat back to my little own world. Guess my presence is not important.... Adeline, u r such a loner and insignificant. This world would have still survived without you... you are not needed!
All i was looking forward was a time when i had nothing going through my mind. I'm such a complicated person to comprehend. God, would please change me? I'm weak!
Saturday, February 10, 2007
endless help needed
dear diary,
It's another phrase of life i have to go through
A point where I have dozen of things that I have to do
Home is no longer a place I am used to be
Home is just a place for me to be loved.
A place where i desire to stay.
School can never be like in the past
A place I am looking forward to go.
It's like part of my life...
And a new term came into my life
That's hall.
Hall used to be a place where talks are given
But now hall is a place I breathe and live in.
An envirnoment I learn to be on my own...
And never fails to think of home when i'm there.
Is there even a time where I can think of home?
Times when I'm feeling depressed
Times when I feel I need a hug from dad.
Times when I needed the extra smiles from my siblings.
Times when I miss the delicious foods from mum.
These times... can never be replaced as each day passes.
Next week is full of craze.
Doing tutorials for stat, accounting before tuesday.
Having to spend my vday studying for accounting II as well as having to take my quiz for my elective It's also the deadline for my assignment for biobiz. My group will also be doing presentation early on vday.
Thursday - quiz at 7pm... 10pm to attend a meeting.
Friday - might be another ob meeting.
Where are the beautiful days?
I go through a living hell of days just to see the beautiful things in life to keep me going on... I'm pissed!
It's another phrase of life i have to go through
A point where I have dozen of things that I have to do
Home is no longer a place I am used to be
Home is just a place for me to be loved.
A place where i desire to stay.
School can never be like in the past
A place I am looking forward to go.
It's like part of my life...
And a new term came into my life
That's hall.
Hall used to be a place where talks are given
But now hall is a place I breathe and live in.
An envirnoment I learn to be on my own...
And never fails to think of home when i'm there.
Is there even a time where I can think of home?
Times when I'm feeling depressed
Times when I feel I need a hug from dad.
Times when I needed the extra smiles from my siblings.
Times when I miss the delicious foods from mum.
These times... can never be replaced as each day passes.
Next week is full of craze.
Doing tutorials for stat, accounting before tuesday.
Having to spend my vday studying for accounting II as well as having to take my quiz for my elective It's also the deadline for my assignment for biobiz. My group will also be doing presentation early on vday.
Thursday - quiz at 7pm... 10pm to attend a meeting.
Friday - might be another ob meeting.
Where are the beautiful days?
I go through a living hell of days just to see the beautiful things in life to keep me going on... I'm pissed!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Birthday celebration
Dear diary,
Went in ard 11pm and by 12.30, lyn and kc are drunk haha. We open three bottles - red win, whiskey and tequilla. Kc and lyn drank one full glass of tequilla and that's when they were became drunk and started puking.
. Shili went a little high at the start, siao one. While the rest were resting upstairs from the excessive drinking, shili, mi, shuyan,elmo, seth and denis went to the dance floor. The music at the start sucks but when we went down the second time, it was much better :) We left ard 4am and went for supper at river valley.
Went home, i stinks from the smell of cigar... wash up and went off to bed. Woke up at 8.30am to go back to my dear hall 7. Due to the shortage of exercise, after walking from hall 7 to src, i felt my muscles aching till now. Was at the softball pitch , the guys were in finals vs hall6. We got second... then go to the swimming pool. My hall is the organising this event , i was one of the lane judges. Didn't know that swimming also got so many rules one. Was quite bored , luckily yuan bo and lixiang came over to talk to me. After the event, i went back hall to slp. Mum called mi just before i was about to go out with hall 7 people for dinner and tell mi that they are coming to pick me up for dinner. I felt so happy that moment. Dad, mum , bro and I went to lot 1 to eat ramen. Yea, i finally found my winnie the pooh bedroom slipper from mini toons.
My phone is flooded with water.. i'm unable to see the screen. It was totally white, was afraid daddy would scold . Anyway, mum came over to exchange a spare phone with mine yesterday morning and bought prawn noodles and soy bean for me. Thank mum!
I've been sleeping a little too much in hall now. Gotta change that habit! In the afternoon, zhen hao was in hall 7 with 2 other frens and ask mi to join them in celebrating zhi hao birthday. So nice of them to buy birthday cake and give him a surprise. Of cos, there's always fun with a cake around.. they played. Haha... it was gross.
Will upload the mos pictures once i get them from shili and eemei... needa get some work done before stat tutorial. So fast, it's week 4 already and tests are coming in 2 weeks more! So dead.
I needa to concentrate more..
Last saturday night, I went mos with my secondary sch fren - lyn, kc, shili, shuyan, roger, denis, ee mei, seth, fanglay,elmo... it was really fun to be out with them . Kc and lyn reserved a table, we went ent really off after that glass. All of us drank some... i had 2 shots, 1 red wine ( it's very nice!) , voka cranberry and tequilla.
Went in ard 11pm and by 12.30, lyn and kc are drunk haha. We open three bottles - red win, whiskey and tequilla. Kc and lyn drank one full glass of tequilla and that's when they were became drunk and started puking.
. Shili went a little high at the start, siao one. While the rest were resting upstairs from the excessive drinking, shili, mi, shuyan,elmo, seth and denis went to the dance floor. The music at the start sucks but when we went down the second time, it was much better :) We left ard 4am and went for supper at river valley.
Went home, i stinks from the smell of cigar... wash up and went off to bed. Woke up at 8.30am to go back to my dear hall 7. Due to the shortage of exercise, after walking from hall 7 to src, i felt my muscles aching till now. Was at the softball pitch , the guys were in finals vs hall6. We got second... then go to the swimming pool. My hall is the organising this event , i was one of the lane judges. Didn't know that swimming also got so many rules one. Was quite bored , luckily yuan bo and lixiang came over to talk to me. After the event, i went back hall to slp. Mum called mi just before i was about to go out with hall 7 people for dinner and tell mi that they are coming to pick me up for dinner. I felt so happy that moment. Dad, mum , bro and I went to lot 1 to eat ramen. Yea, i finally found my winnie the pooh bedroom slipper from mini toons.
My phone is flooded with water.. i'm unable to see the screen. It was totally white, was afraid daddy would scold . Anyway, mum came over to exchange a spare phone with mine yesterday morning and bought prawn noodles and soy bean for me. Thank mum!
I've been sleeping a little too much in hall now. Gotta change that habit! In the afternoon, zhen hao was in hall 7 with 2 other frens and ask mi to join them in celebrating zhi hao birthday. So nice of them to buy birthday cake and give him a surprise. Of cos, there's always fun with a cake around.. they played. Haha... it was gross.
Will upload the mos pictures once i get them from shili and eemei... needa get some work done before stat tutorial. So fast, it's week 4 already and tests are coming in 2 weeks more! So dead.
I needa to concentrate more..
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
I love my family!
Dear diary,
I'm back in hall again. Came in on monday morning , while unpacking my stuffs... there's an ANT ATTACK in my drawer! Gross... no pesticides so i took the tissue paper to kill them instead. Though it didn't help much but there's nothing to do. After stat lect, join regina, wei liang, guo xiang for lunch.Shortly li xian joined us too.. since we know, it's the 1st time we have lunch tgt on a sch day. Regina, li xian and wei liang left for lessons and i asked guo xiang to help mi kill the ants in my room. Apparently, there must be a hole somewhere in my room or a miracle had happened cos the ants DISAPPEAR. hmm weird... anyway had a short chit chat with guo xiang ( he's damn funny..) and off to do my stat tutorial for this week. Took a nap before going for acc 2 lecture. Acc2 is tough! I don't know what is happening...
I had a wonderful weekend last week. On Friday, i went to NUS to meet rowena and cheryl for lunch. We ate Subway. Rowena had lesson so i hang around with cheryl in the central library sleeping haha. Also, had a tour around the school with the school shuttle bus. Was feeling dizzy after a long ride. The halls in NUS looks nice from the outside like hall3 and hall 16. After rowena's lecture, we head our way to town to buy pressie for melissa. Bought a notebook for her :) It a very nice notebook.. wanted to buy her an organiser but it was out of stock :( We had dinner at New York NewYork at ard 5 plus which was really early. Haha.. went to play with the candy floss machine where cheryl try to do it n she did it! The waiter asks us to guess the flavour of the candy floss - mango, banana or lime. Cheryl choose mango , row and i chose banana.. n we are all wrong! haha. It's long since the three of us went out together so as usual, we decided to take neoprint! hee.. shall post it up when i get home this weekend to scan it. On saturday, i went to cut my hair in the morning. It's shorter now... then went to juntion 8 in the afternoon cos dad sent his car for servicing. On sunday night, we had a late dinner at ard 9.15pm at riverside view. Waited for winnie to knock off so that we can have dinner together. Yummy... the foods are nice. Took a stroll along the singapore river with my family- it's a feeling of happiness when we joke and laugh at each other. Korkor send winnie home while we went to mount faber. It's like years since i was last there with my secondary school friends during lantern festival. Had a really great time with my friends and family this weekend... and on monday i really feel that it's time to get some work done after all the enjoyments i receive.
Just changed my timetable again just before add drop period ended , now i got 4 days of school with a long weekend :)
Thank Him for everything that happen.
<--- this picture looks like it's able to capture u with all the force it has into a beautiful world , a place filled with light and warmth...i live my life carrying each breath to enjoy the moment of happiness.
Thursday, January 18, 2007
It came over me just it used to come and go
A moment of silence that never fails to put my mind from thoughts
One phone call could make a huge difference
Like how everything that happens around, influence me so much
If every single of tears can drip away 1% of my thoughts
I would have cry a river.
Wishing that I am not a deep thinker
To be able to take things lightly...
This process of growing up hasn't been easy for anybody
Will there be a turning point in life?
I pray for things to work out well in the end...
And I believe in Him for He has decided my life.
A moment of silence that never fails to put my mind from thoughts
One phone call could make a huge difference
Like how everything that happens around, influence me so much
If every single of tears can drip away 1% of my thoughts
I would have cry a river.
Wishing that I am not a deep thinker
To be able to take things lightly...
This process of growing up hasn't been easy for anybody
Will there be a turning point in life?
I pray for things to work out well in the end...
And I believe in Him for He has decided my life.
School
Dear diary,
It's the seond week of my school 1year 2nd semester... hectic life begins since add drop period. It's like a war where everyone starts to 'fight' for slots that fits their desire timetable. Haha.. it's pretty fun if u're able to get what u want but not when there's nothing for you.
The holiday mood is still around within myself and only myself i think. Been travelling to and fro as i didn't want to stay in hall alone. Staying at home is like a luxury for me - having the entertainment, no fuss over foods, the company of my naughty twins sisters makes life more enjoyable and meaningful. This sch term.. i'm learning to be a loner. Got into a class where i know like only 1 or 2 pple? It's a totally new and not exciting experience.
Went shopping with mummy last sunday, bought a pair of shorts. I think shorts are very comfortable and easy esp when i'm gg to school. It's like the best bottom which allows u to match with all kinda of tops and shoes be it slippers, sandals or even heels.
Brought in a toaster into my hall. Will be able to eat kaya toast , my own self made pizza using bread... yummy. No more starving!
Before sch starts, i finally went out with the pw girls to k-box. Fun fun fun! I'm gg to miss melissa and michelle once they are leaving singapore to australia. Oh man.. how sad is it for our pw group to split into two.But, no matter what.. we'll always stay close with one another even though we have lesser communication , i'm sure we can feel each other care and concern. Gals, we shall make it!
It's raining right now.. n after a long day yesterday and today... i shall make my way to my bed.
It's the seond week of my school 1year 2nd semester... hectic life begins since add drop period. It's like a war where everyone starts to 'fight' for slots that fits their desire timetable. Haha.. it's pretty fun if u're able to get what u want but not when there's nothing for you.
The holiday mood is still around within myself and only myself i think. Been travelling to and fro as i didn't want to stay in hall alone. Staying at home is like a luxury for me - having the entertainment, no fuss over foods, the company of my naughty twins sisters makes life more enjoyable and meaningful. This sch term.. i'm learning to be a loner. Got into a class where i know like only 1 or 2 pple? It's a totally new and not exciting experience.
Went shopping with mummy last sunday, bought a pair of shorts. I think shorts are very comfortable and easy esp when i'm gg to school. It's like the best bottom which allows u to match with all kinda of tops and shoes be it slippers, sandals or even heels.
Brought in a toaster into my hall. Will be able to eat kaya toast , my own self made pizza using bread... yummy. No more starving!
Before sch starts, i finally went out with the pw girls to k-box. Fun fun fun! I'm gg to miss melissa and michelle once they are leaving singapore to australia. Oh man.. how sad is it for our pw group to split into two.But, no matter what.. we'll always stay close with one another even though we have lesser communication , i'm sure we can feel each other care and concern. Gals, we shall make it!
It's raining right now.. n after a long day yesterday and today... i shall make my way to my bed.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
Finally...
dear diary,
It's over... i'm kinda relieve to have the 1 week holiday left for myself , family and friends. On the other hand, i felt guilty and a tinge of saddness for letting my team down. I'm sorry...
Results are out - the reality is I did not get what i expected so after talking to alison yesterday night. We want to be like our secondary school friends - not very bothered about our sch stuffs as in if we make it, we make it and if we don't , just let it be. Go to school study den go out when we have the time to play. Sounds attractive cos it means no stress. Can we?
Last friday, I went to watch night at the museum with my hall people. The show was nice though i fell asleep for a short moment cos i was really tired but still i'm glad i didn't miss out the nicest part of the show. Sat down while they are having dinner cos i was waiting for my family to tell me where are we having dinner. Carrying all my stuffs , i headed down to Clark Quay and we had dinner at Fishermens Wharf. It's nice :) Took a stroll along the river, stopped a while to watch the bungy thingy. It is pretty scary, even if I'm offered a 1000, i wouldn't get my butt up there. Settled down for deserts at haagen diaz. Ice cream is one of the most delicious deserts n i'm always craving for more. Spending time with my family is a blessing. Thank God for giving me a wonderful family. Saturday morning, i followed my parents to clementi for brunch. After a long long time, i finally get to drive again. Oh dear, i really forgot how to drive as in i asked my mum which is the brake! It scare her off haha... On saturday night, we went to IMM cos my youngest sister is changing handphone to W850i. Some unhappiness among the twins , as u know twins would expect some same treatment. Walk around n headed home. Sunday morning, i drove to westmall with my parents and the twins to change out handphone plans to student plans. Yea, now i have free outgg calls in campus and 1000 free sms. Mummy bought a black dress though she wanted the bronze one but we insisted that the black dress looks gd on her with her super fair skin!
New year eve - spend the night with my secondary 2 classmates. Supposed to have steamboat at marina ... saw those super long queue as though they are having some great promotions. We ended up sitting at the hawker and eat chicken rice. Thitiratch ordered curry fish head too but it took such a long time to come that the chicken rice already filled our stomach. Wanted to cancel the order but can't. Thitiratch and simon left the table before the uncle found them ..when the uncle came over and asked kah chong said that we nv order. Lol... phew luckily we didn't have the curry fish head on our table otherwise we might nt be able to get up. It was 9pm after dinner.. walked to marina bay, there were drizzles. After a long trek, we arrive at padang at 11.20pm. Just in time to catch a breath and wait for the fireworks :) After countdown, had supper at maxwell - porridge. Then , shili, lyn and I went to central square apartment to meet up with denis, roger n shu yan who are so ready for majong. Wanted to watch step up dvd , partly the quality of the show is nt so gd n i was rather tired so i went to bed zzz. Woke up at 12pm , went to liang court for mac lunch den home to watch step up and take the lead. 6 more days... i want a fufilling 5 days.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
i'm a bitch!
The feeling of wanting to know more... wanting to know what's wrong... knowing that it has already happen... finding hard to make a sound... pushing urself to a corner ... putting all the blame on oneself... having to face people with fake smiles knowing that it doesn't come from the heart. Don't even know if what u have done was right or wrong ... begin someone who cares abt people feelings ended up making urself in a state like this sucks.
God, i pray for everyone to be happy at least for this christmas to forget all troubles and lead life as it was before everything happens please...
Thursday, December 21, 2006
nothing pays to be good..
who will ever care even when u wake up early in the morning, making an effort to go all the way to this isolated island... when i could have stayed at home, have more sleep and have breakfast with my family!
making mi like a fool to wait on the court for 2 hours?
so what if the technology is so advanced when no one even bothers to use it!
i could have been more irresponsible and dun even care to make any arrangements.. i could have went thailand with my family and dun even give a damn shit for IH.
To be able to go snorking, enjoy the beach, look at the fishes and see how much freedom they have. Hitch a ride on a jet ski from daddy... shopping...
Damn it! it doesn't pays to be good.. to always do the right thing. I DUN WANNA CARE ANYMORE!
making mi like a fool to wait on the court for 2 hours?
so what if the technology is so advanced when no one even bothers to use it!
i could have been more irresponsible and dun even care to make any arrangements.. i could have went thailand with my family and dun even give a damn shit for IH.
To be able to go snorking, enjoy the beach, look at the fishes and see how much freedom they have. Hitch a ride on a jet ski from daddy... shopping...
Damn it! it doesn't pays to be good.. to always do the right thing. I DUN WANNA CARE ANYMORE!
Monday, December 18, 2006
A week of blogging
Dear diary,
Daddy, mummy and sisters went to thailand last thursday and will be back in singapore tml morning 1am. These few days of them being absent from home... it's peaceful and quiet. Certainly, it is nice to have such days being alone at home doing things u want. On thursday, i went for softball training in the morning and suppose to have tennis training in the afternoon but the weather in dec is just so rainy. Ended up watching soccer hall 7 vs hall 10 or 12 ( nt sure) . Ayway, hall 7 won 2-0. Congrats! So tired... i went back to my room n slept till 8.30 and headed home. Drop by at jp subway to get my dinner while eating it on the trip home ia bus. At home.. there's only my bro. Guess i slept ard 1 after watching scv ba.
On friday, it was back to hall 7 again for tennis. It's our first prelimary rounds with hall 13. Somehow, i felt the nervousness... as i woke up with a weird feeling in my stomach. It hurts - it was the same pain i felt when i was in sec 3 before my cross country. I almost didn't want to go to hall for that early warm up... but i still dragged myself to do so. After warm up, i went to sadaf room ( my senior staying on the same level as mi) .. had a little chat with her and ate a doughnut. Went out for lunch with yi hao, mario and sadaf before yi hao and I headed off to help out as empire and linesman. The sun was hot! I'm so tanned but sadly an uneven tanned i got here... Soon it was our turn to play. Our men doubles has easily won with 6-0. Mixed doubles too 6-0 , women doubles 6-0 and woman single won too. Man single lost but it was alright afterall it's tough to beat an ivp player! Good work everyone :) We shall strive harder :)
After the match and a bath, met up with my hall people and off we go for dinner! Where? the nearest shopping centre - jp. Everyone ate from the same stall... it brings mi back to where we usually eat after tennis training with my jjc tennis girls with mr low. Stayed for the night cos we are having a drinking session. Hmm... had some chat with my hall people, one of them is an exchange student from switerzland. I didn't drink much .. two glasses. One with orange juice and the other with sprite, that's all. Didn't want to get drunk. Anyway, it was my first time staying overnight in hall , drinking and chatting till like 4am i tink.
On saturday, it was a special day. It's my dearest rowena birthday! Woke up at 10 plus am.. n had to quickly rush home cos cheryl, melissa and I were planning a birthday surprise for her. Haa.. meet up with cheryl in town to shop for rowena present. We really wanted to buy her a watch but it was too much for us to afford so we bought her a top, earrings and necklace. Hope u like it girl:) Rushed home from town too cos we haven bake our brownie nor cook the spahgetti . Quickly, we get all the ingredients from cold storage and landed ourselves in the kitchen. Got help from my maid in cooking. We bake the brownie ourselves and cut it into a heart shape. I also bought some special candles called the relight candles. We want to play a trick on her. Also, had her earrings placed in an ice. Rowena thought we will be having dinner at secret recipe so when we bought out her a plate of spaghetti... haha. Ate dinner tgt with garlic toast and nuggets. Shortly, melissa bring her to the swimming pool area while cheryl and I bring the lighted cake and present to her. It was a nice place to celebrate her birthday :) The most humourous part was having to see her blowing the candles and it went off but was relighted again. Kept teasing her that she was so lousy even after eating dinner and still had no strength to blow off the candles.
Before rowena came, we had called to reserve place at The Settlers. It was so fun having to play games there .. there was this particular game we were so super noisy and i came to realise I am slow in reacting. Cheryl is the one who reacts fast and won the title of Miss violent haha, right cheryl? After 2 hours there.. all of us felt so full than before. Cos we have been eating non stop from my home - spaghetti, garlic toast, brownie, nuggets to The settlers - black pepper fries, tibits and drinks. Took cab home - wow, it's a tiring day indeed.
Sunday - i spend my whole day gluing my eyes on the tv jus dun wanna do anything. Actually i planned to go sun tan myself so that i have a more even tan but it seems like i woke up on a rainy day. So there goes away my sun... Was becoming really bored so i decided to open the drawer and see if there are ny shows to watch. Didn't know we had the vcd of 'Princess Hours' . Anyway, i watched from 4pm till it was bedtime and continue watching it today after 'Worlds Aprt' ended at 1pm. I thot there was only 12 esp but came to realise that actually there is 24 but the other 12 esp vcd, i just couldn't find it! It's infuriating and now i'm back to doing nothing so blog... in another 5 hours and a half, i would be seeing them at changi airport :) Hope sis bought mi some stuffs though i dun expect much since they are gg to an island. Maybe i will hear complaints from mum cos she dislike the sun and always love to have that fair skin haha. That's my mum :)
I love being alone sometimes. It's the only time where you can think about stuffs you really wanna know about urself. Every year I wish something special would happen but it isn't as easy as wishing for it to happen. Perhaps, time is unable to explain everything that happen even though the saying always go ' Everything happens for a reason.' To find out the reason for every single thing that happen is too tireous... just let it come and go for what will be, will be.
There's no point to ask why. Each and everyone gives a different reason so why bother to ask? Does it helps to make one feels better this way? Maybe you are hurting someone without knowing that a word from you can cause pain like a stiletto that stab through the heart.
Daddy, mummy and sisters went to thailand last thursday and will be back in singapore tml morning 1am. These few days of them being absent from home... it's peaceful and quiet. Certainly, it is nice to have such days being alone at home doing things u want. On thursday, i went for softball training in the morning and suppose to have tennis training in the afternoon but the weather in dec is just so rainy. Ended up watching soccer hall 7 vs hall 10 or 12 ( nt sure) . Ayway, hall 7 won 2-0. Congrats! So tired... i went back to my room n slept till 8.30 and headed home. Drop by at jp subway to get my dinner while eating it on the trip home ia bus. At home.. there's only my bro. Guess i slept ard 1 after watching scv ba.
On friday, it was back to hall 7 again for tennis. It's our first prelimary rounds with hall 13. Somehow, i felt the nervousness... as i woke up with a weird feeling in my stomach. It hurts - it was the same pain i felt when i was in sec 3 before my cross country. I almost didn't want to go to hall for that early warm up... but i still dragged myself to do so. After warm up, i went to sadaf room ( my senior staying on the same level as mi) .. had a little chat with her and ate a doughnut. Went out for lunch with yi hao, mario and sadaf before yi hao and I headed off to help out as empire and linesman. The sun was hot! I'm so tanned but sadly an uneven tanned i got here... Soon it was our turn to play. Our men doubles has easily won with 6-0. Mixed doubles too 6-0 , women doubles 6-0 and woman single won too. Man single lost but it was alright afterall it's tough to beat an ivp player! Good work everyone :) We shall strive harder :)
After the match and a bath, met up with my hall people and off we go for dinner! Where? the nearest shopping centre - jp. Everyone ate from the same stall... it brings mi back to where we usually eat after tennis training with my jjc tennis girls with mr low. Stayed for the night cos we are having a drinking session. Hmm... had some chat with my hall people, one of them is an exchange student from switerzland. I didn't drink much .. two glasses. One with orange juice and the other with sprite, that's all. Didn't want to get drunk. Anyway, it was my first time staying overnight in hall , drinking and chatting till like 4am i tink.
On saturday, it was a special day. It's my dearest rowena birthday! Woke up at 10 plus am.. n had to quickly rush home cos cheryl, melissa and I were planning a birthday surprise for her. Haa.. meet up with cheryl in town to shop for rowena present. We really wanted to buy her a watch but it was too much for us to afford so we bought her a top, earrings and necklace. Hope u like it girl:) Rushed home from town too cos we haven bake our brownie nor cook the spahgetti . Quickly, we get all the ingredients from cold storage and landed ourselves in the kitchen. Got help from my maid in cooking. We bake the brownie ourselves and cut it into a heart shape. I also bought some special candles called the relight candles. We want to play a trick on her. Also, had her earrings placed in an ice. Rowena thought we will be having dinner at secret recipe so when we bought out her a plate of spaghetti... haha. Ate dinner tgt with garlic toast and nuggets. Shortly, melissa bring her to the swimming pool area while cheryl and I bring the lighted cake and present to her. It was a nice place to celebrate her birthday :) The most humourous part was having to see her blowing the candles and it went off but was relighted again. Kept teasing her that she was so lousy even after eating dinner and still had no strength to blow off the candles.
Before rowena came, we had called to reserve place at The Settlers. It was so fun having to play games there .. there was this particular game we were so super noisy and i came to realise I am slow in reacting. Cheryl is the one who reacts fast and won the title of Miss violent haha, right cheryl? After 2 hours there.. all of us felt so full than before. Cos we have been eating non stop from my home - spaghetti, garlic toast, brownie, nuggets to The settlers - black pepper fries, tibits and drinks. Took cab home - wow, it's a tiring day indeed.
Sunday - i spend my whole day gluing my eyes on the tv jus dun wanna do anything. Actually i planned to go sun tan myself so that i have a more even tan but it seems like i woke up on a rainy day. So there goes away my sun... Was becoming really bored so i decided to open the drawer and see if there are ny shows to watch. Didn't know we had the vcd of 'Princess Hours' . Anyway, i watched from 4pm till it was bedtime and continue watching it today after 'Worlds Aprt' ended at 1pm. I thot there was only 12 esp but came to realise that actually there is 24 but the other 12 esp vcd, i just couldn't find it! It's infuriating and now i'm back to doing nothing so blog... in another 5 hours and a half, i would be seeing them at changi airport :) Hope sis bought mi some stuffs though i dun expect much since they are gg to an island. Maybe i will hear complaints from mum cos she dislike the sun and always love to have that fair skin haha. That's my mum :)
I love being alone sometimes. It's the only time where you can think about stuffs you really wanna know about urself. Every year I wish something special would happen but it isn't as easy as wishing for it to happen. Perhaps, time is unable to explain everything that happen even though the saying always go ' Everything happens for a reason.' To find out the reason for every single thing that happen is too tireous... just let it come and go for what will be, will be.
There's no point to ask why. Each and everyone gives a different reason so why bother to ask? Does it helps to make one feels better this way? Maybe you are hurting someone without knowing that a word from you can cause pain like a stiletto that stab through the heart.
Monday, December 11, 2006
sisters rocks
They are that bored when i bought them back to hall with me to stay over the night...Said' Jie, i felt so cheated!'
haha
Friday, December 08, 2006
Saturday, December 02, 2006
One litre of tears
Dear diary,
Was there any point of time you feel like God is treating you unfairly?
Was there any point of time you feel that this world isn't a place for you?
Was there any point of time you ask yourself so many times ' Why?'
At one point of my life, I ask myself all the above questions...
We live in the same world but lead different life.
Who we are to blame for the imperfect things in our life?
Our parents? Ourself? God?
No one can answer.
I had completed watching this japanese drama ' 1 litre of tears' in two days. It's really the saddest drama i ever seen. Nevertheless, I learn... that we should always be satisfy with who we are now and what we have now. No matter what plight you are in, you are always luckier than someone around you.
Based on a true story, One Litre of Tears is about the life story Kitou Aya (1962-1988) a girl who had an incurable disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease (also known as SCA type 2; spinocerebellar ataxia type 2)at a young age of 15. Although the girl in the drama - Ikeuchi Aya, lived in the 21st century, her character was based on Kitou Aya's life, how she struggled and fought her disease and how she wrote her deepest thoughts until the last day she could hold a pen. Before she died, her writings were published including the poems she wrote while she is staying in a school for the disabled. This gave new hopes to people who suffers the same disease as she did and soon Aya received letters of appreciation and thanks from those people. At the age of 25, she succumbed herself into a sleep where she could no longer feel any pain.
I went to the library today... hoping i was able to borrow her diary to read. I couldn't find it however i came across another book. Sat down on the floor n flip through the pages. One particular sentence is so true - 'We should be bless that we never know what the future lies ahead of us. Because if we know about the obstacles we were to face, we may never want to step out and learn to be a successful person in life. '
On the other hand, if we were to know about the future ad learn about the challenges we were to face. We learn how to treasure the time we have now and do everything we can, treating it as though there is no tomorrow.
I shall learn to cherish everything around me, knowing how wonderful it is to be able to look up the sky n say ' It's a beautiful day! '
@deine = > thank you for everything i have :)
Was there any point of time you feel like God is treating you unfairly?
Was there any point of time you feel that this world isn't a place for you?
Was there any point of time you ask yourself so many times ' Why?'
At one point of my life, I ask myself all the above questions...
We live in the same world but lead different life.
Who we are to blame for the imperfect things in our life?
Our parents? Ourself? God?
No one can answer.
I had completed watching this japanese drama ' 1 litre of tears' in two days. It's really the saddest drama i ever seen. Nevertheless, I learn... that we should always be satisfy with who we are now and what we have now. No matter what plight you are in, you are always luckier than someone around you.
Based on a true story, One Litre of Tears is about the life story Kitou Aya (1962-1988) a girl who had an incurable disease called Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease (also known as SCA type 2; spinocerebellar ataxia type 2)at a young age of 15. Although the girl in the drama - Ikeuchi Aya, lived in the 21st century, her character was based on Kitou Aya's life, how she struggled and fought her disease and how she wrote her deepest thoughts until the last day she could hold a pen. Before she died, her writings were published including the poems she wrote while she is staying in a school for the disabled. This gave new hopes to people who suffers the same disease as she did and soon Aya received letters of appreciation and thanks from those people. At the age of 25, she succumbed herself into a sleep where she could no longer feel any pain.
I went to the library today... hoping i was able to borrow her diary to read. I couldn't find it however i came across another book. Sat down on the floor n flip through the pages. One particular sentence is so true - 'We should be bless that we never know what the future lies ahead of us. Because if we know about the obstacles we were to face, we may never want to step out and learn to be a successful person in life. '
On the other hand, if we were to know about the future ad learn about the challenges we were to face. We learn how to treasure the time we have now and do everything we can, treating it as though there is no tomorrow.
I shall learn to cherish everything around me, knowing how wonderful it is to be able to look up the sky n say ' It's a beautiful day! '
@deine = > thank you for everything i have :)
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
exams are finally over
Dear diary,
I've finally tide through this half a year in uni... this long yet short 2 weeks, there seems to be endless thoughts passing through my mind. However, thanks to all the people around mi whom i study with, giving me moral support which i needed so much. Thanks!
Blessing of bubbles floating in the air
Felt your love and care
It means so much to me
Hiding in a corner, from a distant from you
The feeling of long lost love came stumbling upon
Making me realise...
U stand a place within me far more than i know
This holiday seems a little different from others cos of hall activities.
Hopefully it will still be fun though the travelling to n from will be tiring!
Going to vivo city later with nicole for shopping n movie :) wanna get a new wallet, pair of low heels ...
Last night i was angry. I lost all the photos in the computer, everything was gone cos my sister save the wrong folder and the computer was reformat! Damn... all the photos of memories are gone :( I'm so frustrated... is there anyway where the com is reformat n still able to retrieve the lost files?
@deine => wishing for an endless holiday
I've finally tide through this half a year in uni... this long yet short 2 weeks, there seems to be endless thoughts passing through my mind. However, thanks to all the people around mi whom i study with, giving me moral support which i needed so much. Thanks!
Blessing of bubbles floating in the air
Felt your love and care
It means so much to me
Hiding in a corner, from a distant from you
The feeling of long lost love came stumbling upon
Making me realise...
U stand a place within me far more than i know
This holiday seems a little different from others cos of hall activities.
Hopefully it will still be fun though the travelling to n from will be tiring!
Going to vivo city later with nicole for shopping n movie :) wanna get a new wallet, pair of low heels ...
Last night i was angry. I lost all the photos in the computer, everything was gone cos my sister save the wrong folder and the computer was reformat! Damn... all the photos of memories are gone :( I'm so frustrated... is there anyway where the com is reformat n still able to retrieve the lost files?
@deine => wishing for an endless holiday
Thursday, November 16, 2006
A year older
Dear diary,
How lucky can I having to celebrate the day i was born for 4 consecutive years when coping with examinations :( Had my IT paper yesterday morning which i shall not elaborate cos I'm jus an IT dummy.
Went home ard 3 plus today ... slack around till dinner time. Thanks to my family especially daddy who brought me to Michelango ( nt very sure how to spell it) , a very expensive place to go. DUn think i will ever step in there without having a heavy pocket. We actually spend around 45 minutes going to holland den to bukit timah n back to holland again.. just to decide where to eat :P This restaurant is famous for it's pasta.. we ordered 6 plates to share. Yummy.. but i feel damn bad when the bill come. It cost $255! Gosh.
I have been staying in hall alone for the past few days.. being alone is so sad and gloomy. I dun like it.. it's always nice to have someone for companion. N this makes mi think twice about gg back to hall tml morning. Studying with friend is nice.. but staying at home makes u feel so cosy. Now that i have to go back tml morning, i shall go to my cosy bed to slp for that few hours.. b4 heading back to the 4 walls. Can anyone please invent a teleport or a machine which allows me to travel one place to another within like a few minutes? It really makes my life so much better!
I'm so not prepared for the exams for next n following week. So dead!
lovely bed n aircon makes u feel good..
happy birthday to myself :)
How lucky can I having to celebrate the day i was born for 4 consecutive years when coping with examinations :( Had my IT paper yesterday morning which i shall not elaborate cos I'm jus an IT dummy.
Went home ard 3 plus today ... slack around till dinner time. Thanks to my family especially daddy who brought me to Michelango ( nt very sure how to spell it) , a very expensive place to go. DUn think i will ever step in there without having a heavy pocket. We actually spend around 45 minutes going to holland den to bukit timah n back to holland again.. just to decide where to eat :P This restaurant is famous for it's pasta.. we ordered 6 plates to share. Yummy.. but i feel damn bad when the bill come. It cost $255! Gosh.
I have been staying in hall alone for the past few days.. being alone is so sad and gloomy. I dun like it.. it's always nice to have someone for companion. N this makes mi think twice about gg back to hall tml morning. Studying with friend is nice.. but staying at home makes u feel so cosy. Now that i have to go back tml morning, i shall go to my cosy bed to slp for that few hours.. b4 heading back to the 4 walls. Can anyone please invent a teleport or a machine which allows me to travel one place to another within like a few minutes? It really makes my life so much better!
I'm so not prepared for the exams for next n following week. So dead!
lovely bed n aircon makes u feel good..
happy birthday to myself :)
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Is it right?
Dear diary..
It's hari raya pusa - public holiday! But what m i doing in hall right now.. when i can go home n enjoy family love and cosy environment. Had to stay in hall cos of FM project almost the whole day. I miss home badly last night .. i dunno y when the past three days at home i wasn't feeling happy at all. Or was i really moody.. or was it the amount of work i had to complete just turn me off.
Last friday, i told mummy ' can i eat something nice?' I never asked a question like this in my entire life but somehow i asked her. I must have sounded I m starving in hall to her. Actually last week, i was really stressed up over my accounting quiz tt i really didn't feel like eating at all that whole week.
It didn't turn out to what I thought i might have felt after the quiz. Some regrets over things here n there.. but it's over. No point turning back on stuffs that u cannot change anything. I can only say.. I really tried my best.
Something crop up... affected!
It's hari raya pusa - public holiday! But what m i doing in hall right now.. when i can go home n enjoy family love and cosy environment. Had to stay in hall cos of FM project almost the whole day. I miss home badly last night .. i dunno y when the past three days at home i wasn't feeling happy at all. Or was i really moody.. or was it the amount of work i had to complete just turn me off.
Last friday, i told mummy ' can i eat something nice?' I never asked a question like this in my entire life but somehow i asked her. I must have sounded I m starving in hall to her. Actually last week, i was really stressed up over my accounting quiz tt i really didn't feel like eating at all that whole week.
It didn't turn out to what I thought i might have felt after the quiz. Some regrets over things here n there.. but it's over. No point turning back on stuffs that u cannot change anything. I can only say.. I really tried my best.
Something crop up... affected!
Saturday, October 14, 2006
It's nearing
Dear diary,
I've been rushing through all my tutorials for next week so that i can start studying my accountancy quiz next week. But time seems to run away faster than i expected. Everything planned was DESTROYED!
Time... is so priceless, so fast.
It's sinking so badly.. drowning deep down under the sea
keep swimming to look for the precious pearls
sometimes there's hope upon seeing an osyter shell
but when u open it, it's empty.
felt as if there isn't any chances of finding them
under the big sea w/o directions
it's tough.
Is it time to give up?
Went to the new shopping centre today , i think it's called vivo city. It's like one of the shopping malls in USA. Big stores with lotsa varieties. Bought a pair of shorts from Nichille. Like it :)
read my mind if you can...
I've been rushing through all my tutorials for next week so that i can start studying my accountancy quiz next week. But time seems to run away faster than i expected. Everything planned was DESTROYED!
Time... is so priceless, so fast.
It's sinking so badly.. drowning deep down under the sea
keep swimming to look for the precious pearls
sometimes there's hope upon seeing an osyter shell
but when u open it, it's empty.
felt as if there isn't any chances of finding them
under the big sea w/o directions
it's tough.
Is it time to give up?
Went to the new shopping centre today , i think it's called vivo city. It's like one of the shopping malls in USA. Big stores with lotsa varieties. Bought a pair of shorts from Nichille. Like it :)
read my mind if you can...
Sunday, October 08, 2006
I like them!
How wonderful life can be ...
Sitting around the table with homecooked foods
What is unique is not about the food..
Is about the people you are having with.
Interesting saturday at Fang Lay's house, with all my secondary sch friends.
We've Kah Chong, Denis n Fang Lay to be the chief for the day!
Had a table 2 plates of different kinda eggs, tomato cum chili sauguage n potatoes, wan tan soup, sting rays, nuggets, sotongs, oat prawns.. sounds delicious? Yea!
Nice nice.. with all the conversation, laughter. I feel that we are like back to the e2 family!
Was thinking like next time when we are older, can meet up every weekend n do the same thing.. even till we get married with kids haha. That'll be fun huh? lol.. but i dun wanna grow old!
Happy time with my fav hang out peeps tonight though the haze is really bad.
Gosh, gonna play tennis tml morning with such bad weather is horrible.
@deine=> it's worth putting aside time for your frens:") they bring happiness...
Sitting around the table with homecooked foods
What is unique is not about the food..
Is about the people you are having with.
Interesting saturday at Fang Lay's house, with all my secondary sch friends.
We've Kah Chong, Denis n Fang Lay to be the chief for the day!
Had a table 2 plates of different kinda eggs, tomato cum chili sauguage n potatoes, wan tan soup, sting rays, nuggets, sotongs, oat prawns.. sounds delicious? Yea!
Nice nice.. with all the conversation, laughter. I feel that we are like back to the e2 family!
Was thinking like next time when we are older, can meet up every weekend n do the same thing.. even till we get married with kids haha. That'll be fun huh? lol.. but i dun wanna grow old!
Happy time with my fav hang out peeps tonight though the haze is really bad.
Gosh, gonna play tennis tml morning with such bad weather is horrible.
@deine=> it's worth putting aside time for your frens:") they bring happiness...
Friday, October 06, 2006
Happy happy
Smiling today :) Haha.. izzit b'cos of the weekend? or izzit i've almost recover?
Whatever.. i feel slightly - ya SLIGHTLY mad today.
Went to celebrate mooncake festival at my parent's fren place.
Played with the little kids :) n talked to pple of our X generation. Cool..
Everyone in the X generation is LAME!
The weather is bad.. the haze is bad
School is bad... tutorials are bad
My room is good.. my bed is good
Weekend is the best... sleeping is fanastic!
I'm so going to sleep! goodnite pple :)
~i wish i can sleep like no tomorrow~
Whatever.. i feel slightly - ya SLIGHTLY mad today.
Went to celebrate mooncake festival at my parent's fren place.
Played with the little kids :) n talked to pple of our X generation. Cool..
Everyone in the X generation is LAME!
The weather is bad.. the haze is bad
School is bad... tutorials are bad
My room is good.. my bed is good
Weekend is the best... sleeping is fanastic!
I'm so going to sleep! goodnite pple :)
~i wish i can sleep like no tomorrow~
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Recovering?
i thot it's time to turn in...
hell NO. Walking back n forth on the pathway.
Slept ard 3 plus 4? Found info on accounting project.
Drank my cough sryrup hoping it wil make mi more drowsy.
The weather is damn bad! Stupid haze...
Gave tuition just now, came home.
Lie on the bed.. took pills for headache.
Haven ate anything thing since i woke up.
Drink my milo.. ya, tt's all i had.
To avoid mi having to suffer thru the night again.
hell NO. Walking back n forth on the pathway.
Slept ard 3 plus 4? Found info on accounting project.
Drank my cough sryrup hoping it wil make mi more drowsy.
The weather is damn bad! Stupid haze...
Gave tuition just now, came home.
Lie on the bed.. took pills for headache.
Haven ate anything thing since i woke up.
Drink my milo.. ya, tt's all i had.
To avoid mi having to suffer thru the night again.
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
So sick...
Terrible day...
Woke up with jelly legs, hungry yet uncomfortable stomach
Next, i was sitting on the floor trying to control myself from puking
It didn't end there. i was feeling so weak. My back is aching
Went to sgh... took my report- everything is fine
Called n was fetched home. Headache, cough, flu, fever
I puke again shortly after i ate my brunch. Soon, korkor came home with a bag of medicine. He's down too with headache n took leave. Everyone in the family is sick.
Went to the doctor.. n now i've to take 5 pills each time n drink the cough syrup which may cause drowsiness. Spend the whole day sleeping.
Don't feel like gg back to hall but it was so unlucky tt tml i've two tutorials which are rather impt. Argh...
Woke up with jelly legs, hungry yet uncomfortable stomach
Next, i was sitting on the floor trying to control myself from puking
It didn't end there. i was feeling so weak. My back is aching
Went to sgh... took my report- everything is fine
Called n was fetched home. Headache, cough, flu, fever
I puke again shortly after i ate my brunch. Soon, korkor came home with a bag of medicine. He's down too with headache n took leave. Everyone in the family is sick.
Went to the doctor.. n now i've to take 5 pills each time n drink the cough syrup which may cause drowsiness. Spend the whole day sleeping.
Don't feel like gg back to hall but it was so unlucky tt tml i've two tutorials which are rather impt. Argh...
Sunday, October 01, 2006
What's wrong?
Dear diary
1st the whole world is doing projects... coping with assignment like bis law.
now the whole world is sick ... battling with the flu.
What's coming next?
Everyone will be stress ... facing deadlines, quizes, exams.
Well done!
Yea, so this is what uni life is all about.
Finally i understood.
Yanni.. it was fun last night. Haha as i look at my photos i think i look damn old. Prefer those tt i took with you :) Anyway, u are pretty. Should really consider letting ur hair down instead siriusly.
1st the whole world is doing projects... coping with assignment like bis law.
now the whole world is sick ... battling with the flu.
What's coming next?
Everyone will be stress ... facing deadlines, quizes, exams.
Well done!
Yea, so this is what uni life is all about.
Finally i understood.
Yanni.. it was fun last night. Haha as i look at my photos i think i look damn old. Prefer those tt i took with you :) Anyway, u are pretty. Should really consider letting ur hair down instead siriusly.
Friday, September 29, 2006
World of dizziness
Dear diary,
Weak... coughing here n there. Having headache ; not sure if it is my illness or is it that pile of work yet to be completed.
Woke up only ard 11 plus i think. Continue reading my bis law den went to Jurong East to get the gift cards for the swensen mooncakes. Li xiang was super late.. but luckily i brought my IT textbk with me.
Walking back n forth - the route that lead me to home or to the library. In the end, i went to drink green bean soup cos haven had lunch den decided to go to the library.. saw many familiar faces. Glad that u guys are still doing well :) I thought i would understand IT but i couldn't n dunno what is it abt. Never study finish, too cold.. i headed home.
Lay down on the sofa.. i fell asleep again till 7 plus. Finally i had my 1st meal of the day - porridge.
Yesterday after gg to National Heart Centre. i meet up with yanni to do bis law. We went to New York New york - the pizza is nice:) the mudpie was alright but yanni dun really like it. Haha.. despite seeing the long queue, we refuse to leave till we read till page 15. Saw cheryl, keng ee n yvette who is queuing lol. Sorry girls! Cos of pple like us who refuse to leave tt's y the queue is there :P Nvm, hungry le can eat more n the food will be tastier. Spent 2 hours plus only to read those 15 pages is really getting on my nerves. Den went to MOS burger to continue with our work n getting started with the typing. Left around 11.
Holiday is not meant to spend this way like i did ... i wanna play but i didn't had the chance. Looking forward to tml :)
Weak... coughing here n there. Having headache ; not sure if it is my illness or is it that pile of work yet to be completed.
Woke up only ard 11 plus i think. Continue reading my bis law den went to Jurong East to get the gift cards for the swensen mooncakes. Li xiang was super late.. but luckily i brought my IT textbk with me.
Walking back n forth - the route that lead me to home or to the library. In the end, i went to drink green bean soup cos haven had lunch den decided to go to the library.. saw many familiar faces. Glad that u guys are still doing well :) I thought i would understand IT but i couldn't n dunno what is it abt. Never study finish, too cold.. i headed home.
Lay down on the sofa.. i fell asleep again till 7 plus. Finally i had my 1st meal of the day - porridge.
Yesterday after gg to National Heart Centre. i meet up with yanni to do bis law. We went to New York New york - the pizza is nice:) the mudpie was alright but yanni dun really like it. Haha.. despite seeing the long queue, we refuse to leave till we read till page 15. Saw cheryl, keng ee n yvette who is queuing lol. Sorry girls! Cos of pple like us who refuse to leave tt's y the queue is there :P Nvm, hungry le can eat more n the food will be tastier. Spent 2 hours plus only to read those 15 pages is really getting on my nerves. Den went to MOS burger to continue with our work n getting started with the typing. Left around 11.
Holiday is not meant to spend this way like i did ... i wanna play but i didn't had the chance. Looking forward to tml :)
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Emotions
So many events happening
Was watching tv after having tennis n giving tuition to my cousin the whole morning n early afternoon.
'Mom at sixteen' is showing on hallmark channel.
I felt it as much as jacy does.
It hurts having to give your flesh away.
But what she done was right
No matter how many options she has
To keep him by her side, to let her mum take care of him or to quit sch n take care of him...
Nothing can compare to give Charlie a complete family.
The decision she makes, is the best for Charlie.
That is to put him on adoption to provide him with a complete family.
It make me realise, whatever your parents do...
They always put you in front of them.
It doesn't matter if they have to work 10 hours day n night
It doesn't matter if they have to go through the pain of everything
So long as you are safe n healthy.
Please remember that when you are about to complain about your parents.
Put yourself into the shoes of theirs... think how much they have put in for you b4 u spill out words that make u feel bad.
Many times, the thought of leaving this world came across to you.
Each time, you go thru the struggle and told me
' Life ain't that difficult , isn't it?'
I nodded my head n smile.
Just a few minutes ago,
U asked me ' What if the time to leave this world is arriving?'
I said , ' Please don't let it happen, please..'
You stood there looking at the mirror
Pray with all your heart, telling yourself
'This isn't happening to me. Everything will goes well.'
Each lonliness you face,
I knew all you need is company.
Be brave n pull it all through cos everything is gonna be fine :)
Was watching tv after having tennis n giving tuition to my cousin the whole morning n early afternoon.
'Mom at sixteen' is showing on hallmark channel.
I felt it as much as jacy does.
It hurts having to give your flesh away.
But what she done was right
No matter how many options she has
To keep him by her side, to let her mum take care of him or to quit sch n take care of him...
Nothing can compare to give Charlie a complete family.
The decision she makes, is the best for Charlie.
That is to put him on adoption to provide him with a complete family.
It make me realise, whatever your parents do...
They always put you in front of them.
It doesn't matter if they have to work 10 hours day n night
It doesn't matter if they have to go through the pain of everything
So long as you are safe n healthy.
Please remember that when you are about to complain about your parents.
Put yourself into the shoes of theirs... think how much they have put in for you b4 u spill out words that make u feel bad.
Many times, the thought of leaving this world came across to you.
Each time, you go thru the struggle and told me
' Life ain't that difficult , isn't it?'
I nodded my head n smile.
Just a few minutes ago,
U asked me ' What if the time to leave this world is arriving?'
I said , ' Please don't let it happen, please..'
You stood there looking at the mirror
Pray with all your heart, telling yourself
'This isn't happening to me. Everything will goes well.'
Each lonliness you face,
I knew all you need is company.
Be brave n pull it all through cos everything is gonna be fine :)
Friday, September 22, 2006
Mugging begins? when?
Dear diary,
These few days I haven been sleeping enough. With an hour of slp on tue nite n a few hours on wed.
Been slacking but i still do my tutorials. This one week holiday is piled up with lotsa work - Acc project, FM project, IT quiz, Bis law 1000 word assignment. I dun mind doing group project cos sometimes can slack opps! But bis law seriously sucks.
I will be in hall the whole of next week... should be studying :)
Sian! Suppose to go for nite cycling tonight but daddy dun allow me all becos of tt! Argh, i'm fine lo.. there's nothing wrong with me. If nothing was discover den all these wouldn't have happen at all. I could have join in the fun later... n not having to make life dificult for other people.
@deine=> can u choose to live ur life all over again?
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Medical checkup
Went home last night.. so happy:) Get to sleep in my comfort zone, feel so great! Went home around 10 , watch tv till 1am n slop onto my bed till 10am.
Had to go home cos I have this heart checkup in SGH. I wasn't feeling scare till i step into the room alone. Need to do this EKG thing to get my report. It doesn't matter whether the doctor is a male or a female.. but the point of having letting someone see and examine yourself ain't feel good. Thot everything will be done after ECG n that consultation is just to see my report. I was so totally wrong. Proceed to see Dr Bernard n i just felt like telling him no to the instructions given though he is very nice n good looking. I felt myself blushing. Dr Bernard is very patient n guide me through the whole examination.
He said that my echo was loud so need further scan. My face went like ' huh, not again? Think he saw it cos he explain to me the procedure which i wasn't keen to know after hearing it n assure me nothing will happen. Lol, i asked him if i can forgo the scan? Then he went to explain the consequences. Make me more scare only on next Thursday for the more detailed ECG which costs $130!. Whenever i see doctors, nothing good ever happens - spine prob since pri 4 (IOH), fracture my wrist (SGH) , sprain my leg, heart murmur( NHC) argh. when can i ever visit the doctor n not having to worry?
I'm slacking my time away almost a week. Plan to study during the holidays n slacken this week. But will it cause me to lose my momentum? Evenings are packed the rest of the week :) Looking forward to tml night with my darling alison haha rite babe?
will there be a good night sleep tonight?
Had to go home cos I have this heart checkup in SGH. I wasn't feeling scare till i step into the room alone. Need to do this EKG thing to get my report. It doesn't matter whether the doctor is a male or a female.. but the point of having letting someone see and examine yourself ain't feel good. Thot everything will be done after ECG n that consultation is just to see my report. I was so totally wrong. Proceed to see Dr Bernard n i just felt like telling him no to the instructions given though he is very nice n good looking. I felt myself blushing. Dr Bernard is very patient n guide me through the whole examination.
He said that my echo was loud so need further scan. My face went like ' huh, not again? Think he saw it cos he explain to me the procedure which i wasn't keen to know after hearing it n assure me nothing will happen. Lol, i asked him if i can forgo the scan? Then he went to explain the consequences. Make me more scare only on next Thursday for the more detailed ECG which costs $130!. Whenever i see doctors, nothing good ever happens - spine prob since pri 4 (IOH), fracture my wrist (SGH) , sprain my leg, heart murmur( NHC) argh. when can i ever visit the doctor n not having to worry?
I'm slacking my time away almost a week. Plan to study during the holidays n slacken this week. But will it cause me to lose my momentum? Evenings are packed the rest of the week :) Looking forward to tml night with my darling alison haha rite babe?
will there be a good night sleep tonight?
Friday, September 15, 2006
An imperfect girl with a near perfect life
"Do you know what you means to him? You are the air around him.He may not know you exist.But once you are gone, life can never be the same again."
This words I heard from the tv, makes mi ponder.
Many people around us, we treat them like air... we knew life gonna be different without them but not till when we lose them. When will human beings ever learn to not take things from granted?
Yesterday, it was if i remembered correctly, the only day I never touch my books at all. Was stoning at our hall 7 comm hall... listening to rally. Although I had a few questions in mind, I didn't raise them. Don't think that it's good having to make life difficult for people. But all these conversations, questions all the spot makes me wonder what if I am the one sitting down there. Having to answer all these, most probably I wouldn't have make it.
I had my individual presentation this morning for communication management. Last night, I rehearse a no of times hoping things will turn out fine n that I don't tremble. Before class, i still think that my old problem will happen jus like what had happen a yr plus ago. Our tutor came in with a video camera n fix it behind the class. Everyone had their turn to present. To my surprise, all of them did well :) It's more painful having to sit there waiting for ur turn to come. Unluckily, i was the last few so my heart was pumping a little faster than usual till my turn came. I had the most no of slides n i got stuck on one of my point.. but gladly, no more trembling! hehe. i was really proud of myself. Maybe holding n reading off from cards is a bad thing. Sense of achievement :)
Came home.. home cooked food is the most delicious! I slack from morning till now - sleeping for hours n hours with the best weather to stay at home n lie on your cosy bed. Had to drag myself out from bed unwillingly to go to the tennis court. Got hold all my stuffs, walk out through my yard n down the slope. The next thing i knew i was on the ground. There's is stupid green stretch of thing act like a mini fence between the slope n the pathway. Damn suay, now I have two red swollen knees. Claps, what a great timing huh. There i were suppose to play tennis n here I got myself injured. Nevertheless, I still continued playing by limping haha.
I wanna decorate my room! As in my NTU room - i wan to make in into a winniepooh land for my side or a beach feeling. Any ideas to offer? Like where can i buy winnie-the pooh pictures where i can stick onto the walls. Big ones not tiny ones. Or pictures of dolphins, the scenary of a sunrise/sunset?
@de|ine=> i m hoping one day i won't need a fake smile.
I live by quotes that explain what i am exactly going through
I have drama and memories ( and that's life)
live it, love it ... and learn from it
Thursday, September 07, 2006
life was meant to be...
Dear diary,
Another week of this tertiary lifestyle has just past.
Went for hall production last friday. I like it esp the singing n dance... Stayed in school to study my 'FM' chapter 1 n accounting chapter 1 n 2. Accounting 101 is getting better for mi , i hope. That night after hall production, chun sent a few of us home. Hmm left karen n I, so i didn't felt like going home n we went to holland village to snack again although we had bah ku teh after hall production. Den we went to his house .. haha, played othello n saw pictures of them in usa. Went home only like 4am?
Saturday
Zhen hao birthday... 21st! So kinda sirius mini party? Yupz, went to his house .. had lotsa fun with sirius pple as usual :) love their company always! Played the food game, took lotsa pictures. We gave him a shirt n $100 vouchers. Went home ard hmm 11 plus i think.
Sunday
I felt so guilty for nt studying during the whole weekend. Ended up in queenstown library frm 2 to 6. Had lots of preious thoughts .. it was like back to jc times. CHeryl n I used to mug there almost every other day we were free? Ya, miss u girl! We were so close yet so far... it was jus a phone away /a gd news away for us to hang out like we used to be. Truthfully, i was kinda sad when i heard that at the pt of time when i knew everything planned can't work out at all. But, i'm still wanna tell u - study hard n hopefully u find someone to company u in ur studies too :) As i walk along the same old route home.. memories came pouring.
Long - sweet memories - happy times - stressful conversations... all n all, it was a moment to revive.
Super cold on every monday in sch... forgot my jacket. Ate spaghetti.. nt bad but still lose to mum! i miss mummy's cooking. Aww Rmb last yr when i had to eat outside food everyday, the moment i see food, i just felt like puking. It took me like 2 weeks to get used to outside food. Told mum once that i cannot live without home cooked food.. n she was staring at me n say ' how r u going to survive next time? 'Erm.. no idea. Maybe i can learn to cook?
Reading room is a gd place to study in hall 7, it's gonna be my favourite hangout place every night i suppose. Suppose to had dinner with sirius at canteen 4. I did went but jus when the food came, my phone rang. Ya, so off i went to wait for the shuttle bus. So pissed off! Waited so long n in the end it is terminating like the next stop? Wth.. anyway thanks allan for the ride back n kk company :)
to u, hang on strong ok. Everything is going to turn out fine. Life is never fair to anyone... but if we hold a positive attitude towards what God is going to put us through this test, we will pass it. Times when u feel low, do know that I'm always there - a call, a walk or just sitting just beside u.
Watched lakehouse last night with alison.. it is a nice movie but i dun really understand. Hmm sounds weird right haha.
After dinner, i came back n changed into my tennis outfit. Off alone i went to the court... practicing my service. It sucks initally but i saw it coming when i was at my third bucket of balls till the fifth. Used to serve n treat it as one way to vent my anger. It does helps to vent ur anger but nt to improve ur service. Tennis is a game of concentration and focus.
Mission to be accomplished - 2 presentations, 1 quiz.
- all tutorials ( sucks)
Yea! This weekend, i'm gg to catch westlife concert with meli! Hehe.. looking forward. 1st time gg to a concert like this one! Can't wait to hear them sing life!
Saturday, i just got plans.. sometimes a phone call can really makes u smile. Receive a call from my student frm qwss. He n grp of frens call to trick me... n also to ask help for their coming prelims or rather o levels. So saturday, i'll be down at holland village n being bombarded with questions which i hope is familiar n easy.
Tennis training on sunday.. hmm how m i gg to find time to studying for monday quiz n concentrate on monday presentation?
DESSERTS!
many times, i always said to myself ' IF ONLY...'
many times, 'IF ONLY..' come true
i wouldn't be sitting down here!
Another week of this tertiary lifestyle has just past.
Went for hall production last friday. I like it esp the singing n dance... Stayed in school to study my 'FM' chapter 1 n accounting chapter 1 n 2. Accounting 101 is getting better for mi , i hope. That night after hall production, chun sent a few of us home. Hmm left karen n I, so i didn't felt like going home n we went to holland village to snack again although we had bah ku teh after hall production. Den we went to his house .. haha, played othello n saw pictures of them in usa. Went home only like 4am?
Saturday
Zhen hao birthday... 21st! So kinda sirius mini party? Yupz, went to his house .. had lotsa fun with sirius pple as usual :) love their company always! Played the food game, took lotsa pictures. We gave him a shirt n $100 vouchers. Went home ard hmm 11 plus i think.
Sunday
I felt so guilty for nt studying during the whole weekend. Ended up in queenstown library frm 2 to 6. Had lots of preious thoughts .. it was like back to jc times. CHeryl n I used to mug there almost every other day we were free? Ya, miss u girl! We were so close yet so far... it was jus a phone away /a gd news away for us to hang out like we used to be. Truthfully, i was kinda sad when i heard that at the pt of time when i knew everything planned can't work out at all. But, i'm still wanna tell u - study hard n hopefully u find someone to company u in ur studies too :) As i walk along the same old route home.. memories came pouring.
Long - sweet memories - happy times - stressful conversations... all n all, it was a moment to revive.
Super cold on every monday in sch... forgot my jacket. Ate spaghetti.. nt bad but still lose to mum! i miss mummy's cooking. Aww Rmb last yr when i had to eat outside food everyday, the moment i see food, i just felt like puking. It took me like 2 weeks to get used to outside food. Told mum once that i cannot live without home cooked food.. n she was staring at me n say ' how r u going to survive next time? 'Erm.. no idea. Maybe i can learn to cook?
Reading room is a gd place to study in hall 7, it's gonna be my favourite hangout place every night i suppose. Suppose to had dinner with sirius at canteen 4. I did went but jus when the food came, my phone rang. Ya, so off i went to wait for the shuttle bus. So pissed off! Waited so long n in the end it is terminating like the next stop? Wth.. anyway thanks allan for the ride back n kk company :)
to u, hang on strong ok. Everything is going to turn out fine. Life is never fair to anyone... but if we hold a positive attitude towards what God is going to put us through this test, we will pass it. Times when u feel low, do know that I'm always there - a call, a walk or just sitting just beside u.
Watched lakehouse last night with alison.. it is a nice movie but i dun really understand. Hmm sounds weird right haha.
After dinner, i came back n changed into my tennis outfit. Off alone i went to the court... practicing my service. It sucks initally but i saw it coming when i was at my third bucket of balls till the fifth. Used to serve n treat it as one way to vent my anger. It does helps to vent ur anger but nt to improve ur service. Tennis is a game of concentration and focus.
Mission to be accomplished - 2 presentations, 1 quiz.
- all tutorials ( sucks)
Yea! This weekend, i'm gg to catch westlife concert with meli! Hehe.. looking forward. 1st time gg to a concert like this one! Can't wait to hear them sing life!
Saturday, i just got plans.. sometimes a phone call can really makes u smile. Receive a call from my student frm qwss. He n grp of frens call to trick me... n also to ask help for their coming prelims or rather o levels. So saturday, i'll be down at holland village n being bombarded with questions which i hope is familiar n easy.
Tennis training on sunday.. hmm how m i gg to find time to studying for monday quiz n concentrate on monday presentation?
DESSERTS!
many times, i always said to myself ' IF ONLY...'
many times, 'IF ONLY..' come true
i wouldn't be sitting down here!
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Time management
Dear diary,
Jus finished my biz law tutorial where i m really lost. The terms tey used are so chim.. catch no ball --> so i must play more softball. =x this is nt a joke
Last weekend was busy. On friday, i went shopping with rowena to marina square as she need a top for her talent time performance. The previous fri, we were there shopping too n i came across this pretty dress n this time roundi bought it. N a necklace to match with the dress. That day, i spend ard $80. Then rush to tiong baru..
Sat
Doing acc 1 tutorial in the afternoon. Nbs dnd at night. It was fun... our pagaent girl - kathleen did a great job:) We're siriusly proud of u! Took lots of pictures but i dun have them with mi now as i forget to bring my camera. Will post them next time. After dnd, hui shan, li xiang n mi took allan car. It was decided last minute to go holland v. swensen. Yea, ate a new flavour of their sundae - Mad mac. Nice nice~
Sunday
Basically sleeping almost the whole day... den getting ready to go back to hall7.
Monday
Had tennis with chun n yi hao. This time round, i think i m more or less back to my form. Went to jp with the seniors for dinner - subway. Eversince i stay in hall, fast food seems so far away from mi which is good for health but nt when u urge for it. Super tired but still i must hang on for the sake of studying. Obviously, i didn't absorb anything esp right now biz law tutorial is over.
Tuesday
Slp till 11.30am. Today, i ate a whole load of food but none of them is a proper meal. Banana, biscuits, cake, bread, cheese prata, waffles, milo, teddy bear cookies, milk
Sounds alot right, it's really alot haha.
After lecture, played inter block volleyball for my block cos there is nt enuff girls. My 1st time playin volleyball.. i can't serve for nuts! Either can i play well but the point is my hands hurts. They looks blueblack now. Ouch. i wonder y volleyballers enjoy torturing themself?
Wed
I'm suppose to take a nap now b i start falling asleep during later Fm seminar where the chances is high. So ciao, off to bed! Shall forgo lunch to catch ball in FM later.
@deine=> when u have nothing to do, the best thing is to sleep zzz.
Jus finished my biz law tutorial where i m really lost. The terms tey used are so chim.. catch no ball --> so i must play more softball. =x this is nt a joke
Last weekend was busy. On friday, i went shopping with rowena to marina square as she need a top for her talent time performance. The previous fri, we were there shopping too n i came across this pretty dress n this time roundi bought it. N a necklace to match with the dress. That day, i spend ard $80. Then rush to tiong baru..
Sat
Doing acc 1 tutorial in the afternoon. Nbs dnd at night. It was fun... our pagaent girl - kathleen did a great job:) We're siriusly proud of u! Took lots of pictures but i dun have them with mi now as i forget to bring my camera. Will post them next time. After dnd, hui shan, li xiang n mi took allan car. It was decided last minute to go holland v. swensen. Yea, ate a new flavour of their sundae - Mad mac. Nice nice~
Sunday
Basically sleeping almost the whole day... den getting ready to go back to hall7.
Monday
Had tennis with chun n yi hao. This time round, i think i m more or less back to my form. Went to jp with the seniors for dinner - subway. Eversince i stay in hall, fast food seems so far away from mi which is good for health but nt when u urge for it. Super tired but still i must hang on for the sake of studying. Obviously, i didn't absorb anything esp right now biz law tutorial is over.
Tuesday
Slp till 11.30am. Today, i ate a whole load of food but none of them is a proper meal. Banana, biscuits, cake, bread, cheese prata, waffles, milo, teddy bear cookies, milk
Sounds alot right, it's really alot haha.
After lecture, played inter block volleyball for my block cos there is nt enuff girls. My 1st time playin volleyball.. i can't serve for nuts! Either can i play well but the point is my hands hurts. They looks blueblack now. Ouch. i wonder y volleyballers enjoy torturing themself?
Wed
I'm suppose to take a nap now b i start falling asleep during later Fm seminar where the chances is high. So ciao, off to bed! Shall forgo lunch to catch ball in FM later.
@deine=> when u have nothing to do, the best thing is to sleep zzz.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
stress!
Human beings are weird. We love everything that we don't own.
Just moments ago, I miss my family so much. Yet minutes b4 when mummy calls, i gave her tt piss off attitude cos i was rather piss of with my studies. She seems to always call at the wrong timing...
I don't complain my troubles to my mum cos she never will understand. Sometimes i wish daddy is right here with me every night like we used to hang ard in the living room. Talking about things ard us... at times i'm able to hint my problems to him n hear him talk about life stories n experiences. Yet calling my dad is something i hardly do.. afraid tt my parents would thot i'm in deep trouble or sth. Haiz. At home gt my two little twins sisters n giant bro to entertain me. Just miss them when i'm feeling sad.
Uni is so different... perhaps i haven found a fren who is willingly to study n work hard together with me like how cheryl n I motivate each other. But still alison is a super duper gd roomie! She is ever there to lend mi a listening ear. Love ya gal! Ya, i might start to pray whenever i need to.
little ones running through
stomping on the ground
feeling the touch of a pistol
a slight push, down lay one
seeking solace
turning away, it drips
life is a train on a steep edge.
Just moments ago, I miss my family so much. Yet minutes b4 when mummy calls, i gave her tt piss off attitude cos i was rather piss of with my studies. She seems to always call at the wrong timing...
I don't complain my troubles to my mum cos she never will understand. Sometimes i wish daddy is right here with me every night like we used to hang ard in the living room. Talking about things ard us... at times i'm able to hint my problems to him n hear him talk about life stories n experiences. Yet calling my dad is something i hardly do.. afraid tt my parents would thot i'm in deep trouble or sth. Haiz. At home gt my two little twins sisters n giant bro to entertain me. Just miss them when i'm feeling sad.
Uni is so different... perhaps i haven found a fren who is willingly to study n work hard together with me like how cheryl n I motivate each other. But still alison is a super duper gd roomie! She is ever there to lend mi a listening ear. Love ya gal! Ya, i might start to pray whenever i need to.
little ones running through
stomping on the ground
feeling the touch of a pistol
a slight push, down lay one
seeking solace
turning away, it drips
life is a train on a steep edge.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Hectic life
Another week passes by filled with excitment, frustrations, sporty, stressful, starvation, enjoyment.
Excitment
Yanni's birthday falls on wednesday. Sirius decided to give her a surprise at hall 16. At 11.30, those staying including in staying hall 7 went over with her birthday cake. Thanks chun for the ride :) Ordered mac by mak... we were in the lounge. Lights off, yanni walked in... birthday song was sang. There is this unexplainable feeling or peace i felt. We had fun playing zhong ji mi ma, the snake game , mrt game.
It was the snake n mrt game tt kathleen n I had no choice but to agree that hall 7 girls like us do not have the sense of lamer others do. Or izzit we have no brains? Lol.. we are the only two who knew the trick after many times of ' again , again!' n still gave the blur look. N silly me, ask a qns tt is the ans.
Frustrations...sporty
Wednesday... I had a rather bad day with biz law tutorial n FM seminar. I DISLIKE having to speak in class. Not a vocal person at all. So this sucks when it comes to class participation. Had this PRC tutor who pronouns present values as prison values. The speed he is talking can immediately make my head drop on the table. Worst still, i do not have the same lecture notes nor the tutorial worksheet. Lessons end at 5.30... alison called to ask mi play netball for interblock games. With my mindset , i seriously not up to play but still went as there isn't any enuff pple. Game suppose to start at 6.15, we started only at 7? All of us were late. Hmm my block won :) though i think i fouls a few times n nv really play. Tennis on tuesday was the best! I won without playing the 1st females doubles as block 38 has no girls participating. N i lost without playing too cos the guys lost 2 matches. Great, i change n warm up for nothing...
Tennis trials sucks bad time! Their standard is super high .. n someone like cheryl n I who could not play well under pressure juz gotta get our ass out of the courts.
Stressful
Wenli, i totally agree with u that whoever says uni life is much easier than jc..hell with them! At this moment in time, i dun see it tt way. Given that i have to do my readings n tutorial till early morning every single day? It like so not me in sch days last time. Yea, more activities in hall but still y such a tremendous change? Anyway, will still work hard for as long as i can :)
Starvation
Hall 7 being isolated on this small NTU island. Foods is available on climbing uphill but still inconvenient. Laziness play a heavy role so i dun really have a proper diet. Most of the time having eat 1 meal per day n snacks ard in betw when i like it. Sleeping late will jus make u feel hungry ... so far not so much of supper this week. Jus tt dinner was super late which i think more towards supper time ya? I shall stock up more foods. Btw , i have a fridge already! Yea.. can buy chocolates le!
My parents arrive already.. time to leave. This is enjoyment - family love :)
Excitment
Yanni's birthday falls on wednesday. Sirius decided to give her a surprise at hall 16. At 11.30, those staying including in staying hall 7 went over with her birthday cake. Thanks chun for the ride :) Ordered mac by mak... we were in the lounge. Lights off, yanni walked in... birthday song was sang. There is this unexplainable feeling or peace i felt. We had fun playing zhong ji mi ma, the snake game , mrt game.
It was the snake n mrt game tt kathleen n I had no choice but to agree that hall 7 girls like us do not have the sense of lamer others do. Or izzit we have no brains? Lol.. we are the only two who knew the trick after many times of ' again , again!' n still gave the blur look. N silly me, ask a qns tt is the ans.
Frustrations...sporty
Wednesday... I had a rather bad day with biz law tutorial n FM seminar. I DISLIKE having to speak in class. Not a vocal person at all. So this sucks when it comes to class participation. Had this PRC tutor who pronouns present values as prison values. The speed he is talking can immediately make my head drop on the table. Worst still, i do not have the same lecture notes nor the tutorial worksheet. Lessons end at 5.30... alison called to ask mi play netball for interblock games. With my mindset , i seriously not up to play but still went as there isn't any enuff pple. Game suppose to start at 6.15, we started only at 7? All of us were late. Hmm my block won :) though i think i fouls a few times n nv really play. Tennis on tuesday was the best! I won without playing the 1st females doubles as block 38 has no girls participating. N i lost without playing too cos the guys lost 2 matches. Great, i change n warm up for nothing...
Tennis trials sucks bad time! Their standard is super high .. n someone like cheryl n I who could not play well under pressure juz gotta get our ass out of the courts.
Stressful
Wenli, i totally agree with u that whoever says uni life is much easier than jc..hell with them! At this moment in time, i dun see it tt way. Given that i have to do my readings n tutorial till early morning every single day? It like so not me in sch days last time. Yea, more activities in hall but still y such a tremendous change? Anyway, will still work hard for as long as i can :)
Starvation
Hall 7 being isolated on this small NTU island. Foods is available on climbing uphill but still inconvenient. Laziness play a heavy role so i dun really have a proper diet. Most of the time having eat 1 meal per day n snacks ard in betw when i like it. Sleeping late will jus make u feel hungry ... so far not so much of supper this week. Jus tt dinner was super late which i think more towards supper time ya? I shall stock up more foods. Btw , i have a fridge already! Yea.. can buy chocolates le!
My parents arrive already.. time to leave. This is enjoyment - family love :)
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Friday, August 11, 2006
36-4-688
Dear diary
I almost completed my entry BUT this com jus doesn't like mi ! It disappear... i'm so angry. Argh
Will try to recall what i wrote...
Sch has finally started yup. N give mi a round of applause for having a 5 day week when chun wei can get a 2 day week lor.
Hall life is not as bad as i thot it would be as compared to Alison. Perhaps she's rite... in camp we were feeling tired, dirty n thus the other place that came to mind will be ur home. Thus this explains our homesick :)"
Went to yanni room that day.. hall 16 is so alluring! Everything is new n close to heart. But hall 7 gave mi a different feeling. People are friendly there... n maybe cos iknow more pple in hall 7 too. Hall 16 with the air con n new environment , so it's hard to be close to pple near u.
time to dress out n party all night long!
I almost completed my entry BUT this com jus doesn't like mi ! It disappear... i'm so angry. Argh
Will try to recall what i wrote...
Sch has finally started yup. N give mi a round of applause for having a 5 day week when chun wei can get a 2 day week lor.
Hall life is not as bad as i thot it would be as compared to Alison. Perhaps she's rite... in camp we were feeling tired, dirty n thus the other place that came to mind will be ur home. Thus this explains our homesick :)"
Went to yanni room that day.. hall 16 is so alluring! Everything is new n close to heart. But hall 7 gave mi a different feeling. People are friendly there... n maybe cos iknow more pple in hall 7 too. Hall 16 with the air con n new environment , so it's hard to be close to pple near u.
time to dress out n party all night long!
Saturday, August 05, 2006
Hall camp
Dear diary,
The silence of familiar voices
The scenary of familiar places
The smell of delicious foods
The feeling of blissful
A room of empty spaces
A lack of happy faces
A solidary environment
A feeling of being abandon
Staring out of the 4 walls
Lies a recogizable panarama
Out of the room
Stands 100 over souls
Survivor was the theme
Tough was the word
Reality Tv all became true
Running has to be everyone forte
When day falls, dawn came
Struggling with time
You yearn to close your eyes
Only to think of your loved ones
Awoke wishing you were there
Only to realise, it was a dream
A dream you truly wanted to be real
How difficult can life be?
Back to the small beachy island
Being the smallest no of survivors,
We manage to be the champion early in the morning
Lady luck wasn't smiling in the afternoon
Dinner was simple n nice
The night is still young
Soon, we were living in darkness
Performing stuns you thought you would
With sticking gluing stuffs everywhere
The weather changed
Begun to shiver
Felt like puking
A sharp pain on my right
Extra shirt was worn over
Cold was all I could felt
Home was all I think of
Written on my forehead was
I'm a show gal. Name it n i'll show it.
My hair was damn nice
Guess most of the seniors had a part to play
Gross was the word to describe
Took hours to bathe
Woke up 1 hour late
Had oily breakfast n headed home
I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your saddness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine.
And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you . But soon, always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head ad cry and cry and cry.
The silence of familiar voices
The scenary of familiar places
The smell of delicious foods
The feeling of blissful
A room of empty spaces
A lack of happy faces
A solidary environment
A feeling of being abandon
Staring out of the 4 walls
Lies a recogizable panarama
Out of the room
Stands 100 over souls
Survivor was the theme
Tough was the word
Reality Tv all became true
Running has to be everyone forte
When day falls, dawn came
Struggling with time
You yearn to close your eyes
Only to think of your loved ones
Awoke wishing you were there
Only to realise, it was a dream
A dream you truly wanted to be real
How difficult can life be?
Back to the small beachy island
Being the smallest no of survivors,
We manage to be the champion early in the morning
Lady luck wasn't smiling in the afternoon
Dinner was simple n nice
The night is still young
Soon, we were living in darkness
Performing stuns you thought you would
With sticking gluing stuffs everywhere
The weather changed
Begun to shiver
Felt like puking
A sharp pain on my right
Extra shirt was worn over
Cold was all I could felt
Home was all I think of
Written on my forehead was
I'm a show gal. Name it n i'll show it.
My hair was damn nice
Guess most of the seniors had a part to play
Gross was the word to describe
Took hours to bathe
Woke up 1 hour late
Had oily breakfast n headed home
I feel my throat begin to close and my eyes well up with tears because I know it is time for you to go. The look you give me at that moment haunts me. I feel your saddness and my own loneliness, and the ache in my heart that had been silent only a short time grows stronger as you release me. And then you spread your arms and step back into the fog because it is your place and not mine.
And I watch with breaking heart as you slowly fade away. I find myself straining to remember everything about this moment, everything about you . But soon, always too soon, your image vanishes and the fog rolls back to its faraway place and I am alone on the pier and I do not care what others think as I bow my head ad cry and cry and cry.
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
Hall camp
Dear diary,
I'm now in my hall camp. It was not as fun as NBS camp n i'm home sick! I miss my bed, air con, family n the feeling of home! :(
Going to sentosa today... my timetable is a five day week with mon-wed... there is only 2 hrs of lessons lo. Damn sian! Can't i have a 4 or 3 day week?
@deine=> homesick
I'm now in my hall camp. It was not as fun as NBS camp n i'm home sick! I miss my bed, air con, family n the feeling of home! :(
Going to sentosa today... my timetable is a five day week with mon-wed... there is only 2 hrs of lessons lo. Damn sian! Can't i have a 4 or 3 day week?
@deine=> homesick
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