ALL PICTURES!

I find my blog too dull.. no pictures at all. hee.. so i have decided to put some pitures that i like with my friends n family!

MARS... MELISSA ADELINE ROWENA YEAN CHIN







XIANGYING N MI (TAKEN IN SENTOSA)


ME ROWENA N MONICA





PW GALS..
PS: I LOVE YOU GUYS! HAVING U GALS ARD ME REALLY MAKE MY DAYS IN SCHOOL MORE MEANINGFUL N WONDERFUL! LAST YEAR I REALLY ENJOY EVERY MOMENT WE SPENT DOING PROECT THOUGH WE EAT MORE THAN WE DO OFTEN. HEE.. BUT HEY, I'M GLAD WE OBTAIN A2 FOR IT! GOOD JOB GALS!
MELI: it's always movietime in ur house n i'll nv forget that!
MICHELLE GF: i love going to your house n please bake more cookies for me :)
CHERYL BF: your house is always full of foods esp tibits..

THOSE TIMES IN AUSTRALIA

UNDER A TREE IN UNIVERSITY OF WESTERN AUSTRALIA


ROTTEST ISLAND.. THE SCENARY IS BEAUTIFUL!


THE GALS! PRETTY GALS YA?


HUEI MIN N ADELINE I LOVE THIS PIC!

OUT WITH YOUNG



CYNTHIS, YINGJIE, XINYI N ME


MY STUDY PARTNER, BF , BLUR QUEEN!


THAT BLUR QUEEN IS CHERYL






MY SECONDARY SCHOOL FRIENDS

BOTTOM LEFT - SHILI, LYN
UPPER LEFT- ADELINE FANG LAY





times in secondary school were memorable especially when i was in secondary 1 n 2. I experienced the class unity that i never believe it would exist at all. but thanks to you guys in 1e2 n 2e2, you have made it all possible. The fun we had during sports day, cross country, racial harmony day, every term receiving the cleanest class award n many many more events, i will bring it along with me. Secondary school days are the happiest moment during my years of education!

MY BEST FRIEND!










meli... these two years i really appreciated everything we have been through together. u were always there for me when i needed. though during these two years , there was a short period of time when things weren't as smooth for both of us, i'm glad we have made it through. Hope that our friendship will lasts for ages n ages. love ya...


FINALLY IS ALL ABOUT ME

WHEN I WAS YOUNG..


17YEARS LATER... I WANT TO LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR BETTER


I LOVE FLOWERS:)




MANY TOLD ME I WAS A DREAMER
I do not deny. I love to have beautiful dreams because this is where I believe true happiness come about... n I'll never stop dreaming.

adeline=> feeling tired already. goodnite!

Tired

Dear diary,

it is my 6th day at work.. n i'm feeling tired. I bought my prom dress le last sat.. i love it! :) i think my typing skill has increased each day of typing... today i broke my own record of 221 data entries. haha... actually everyday i'm like challenging myself. lol.. kinda silly i know but i've to do something to entertain myself. anyway, i get to knowm ore of the staff there. actually they r quite nice though a few of them had the fierce face. but they r realli funny lol. talking to them reali make mi feel so young. whahaha. Still i can't get used to eating outside food.. whenever i go food court or places where there r lots of food,i jus feeling like puking! been 6 days since my stomach is aching at times... i wonder what happen? now that i'm working, i realli dun enjoy it as compared to studying. I learn to cherish my chance of studying ... grateful this is not the beginning of my working world. i feel so contradict. i wanna do lots of things after a levels but now i feel that i not only did not manage to do what i want but there isn't really the time for mi to do so. Regret for not choosing to work part time... now, i'm currently learning my driving still on theory, tennis n work only. think after a month of working, i wanna enjoy life again den start to work again ba. i'm very tired le.. goodnite!!!

a day at job

Dear diary,

Yesterday was my 1st day at work in Automobile Association Singapore. I'm just there to do some data entry. hmm... it was one of my most unlucky day i must say. Something happen while i was working.. n I lost my wallet only to realise when i get down the bus! Gosh.. Immediately came home n went out with my sister to the opp bus stop for 195
We went up 3 buses to search for my wallet but i couldn't find it. The 1st uncle was really bad.. he din wait for mi to search for my wallet n juz drove off.. while the other two were nice n even ask if i could find it. Hmmp... i was damn tired n so many things happen in a day. When i thought of all the things that i lost.. i really felt like crying when walking home. My NRIC, POSB NETS, EZ LINK ( which i jus got replacement the day before), cash n my fav wallet! When i reached home, my mum called the SBS to inform them n i was told to make a police report cos i lost my nric. So troublesome! Ytd was really disastrous... i don't feel like working already.it wasn't because the job was bad but cos all the things that happen i totally lost my mood. din even want to eat.
i bought my prom night slippers already on monday while shopping with cheryl. we bought the same shoes.. n sth like a jacket at a rather cheap price. hehe.. i spend really alot on monday of 100 bucks. Went to bugis, city link, suntec n marina square... we meet wenda in city link so ask her to join us. i reach home at ard 9pm. oh.. myy youngest sister actually went with cheryl n mi but halfway she suddenly turn so pale.. so ask her to take taxi home. Hmm.. the day at work - i reach there early ard 8.16am den left late at 18.17pm. type ard 100 data per day. haha.. hope it will increase as days goes by. i'm tired!!! goodnite... now i believe the working world is not easy as what i thought it was..

Finally!

Dear diary,

Finally my a levels are over! Dun wanna mention anything about it... Woo! Time to have fun n enjoy for at least 3 months. haha, i can't stop laughing! After my last paper, my class went to catch harry potter n the gobble of fire.It was alright only.. i can't sit still during the whole movie. Yesterday, Went to hospital to visit my cousin , juz wanna ask him to take care ya.At night, i went out to meet elmoat bugis. accompany her for dinner den go to orchard to meet up with shu yan. Hmm wanted to go to ktv but it's so ex la.. anyway, i can't sing n i dare not. the only one who heard my voice is cheryl haha.. hey gal, r u honoured?
Yupz, nv make it to ktv so went to holland village to meet up with lyn, shili, kc, roger n fanglay.We chit chat n drink at coffee bean... though it just this simple, but i feel very contented le. Nv feel this way for such a long time... thanks guys! At ard 12 plus, we decided to catch a movie - the exorisism of emily rose. We only bought 7 ticker though ther is 8 of us cos fang lay watched b4 le. Lol.. we manage to smuggle her in. Cool huh. I think i can't watch horror movie even though it is onli a little scary. Many times, i'm like covering my eyes or ears. See no devil, hear no devil. lol. Wonder when did i become such a scary cat, r have i always been like this? reached home ard 4am n zzzz.

First of all, i wanna thank n give a big hug to Melissa! Thanks for painting such a beautiful painting for me.A butterfly n dolphins... i asked my dad if i can hang it up in my room n he say if i want to. n thanks for ur other gifts, i'm waiting for the season of giving wor. It's only the third day n i'm getting a little bored.


yupx... tt shld be ard it.
Things to do :
driving
tennis
yoga
guitar/piano
working!

Dear diary,

I watched finished my dvds - full house today. At some point of the series, i really felt so real. It is so painful to wait for someone u love yet it is so diffcult to tell the person u love that u love him/her. When u see the person leave you, ur heart is bleeding. When the person is with elseone, u wish the person was you. When the person show care n concern, u felt so touch n thought the person love u too but actually the person doesn't. Gosh, the love world is so complicated... created so much saddness.

OK, i should be studying since last week but it was a disaster!!! Went to sch thinking that i would spend more time studying end up making mi more stress cos i realise only on thursday that i have been wasting 4 days away. I nv absorb anything much... argh. Den today i woke up n watch finish my show.. Did econ case study, M8 . went for tuition, do some math... that alls! Yupz, one day i only did so little thing.. n it is like les than 2 weeks to alevel! What m i doing??? Adeline , u gonna change ur mindset!! iT'S NOW OR NEVER! Jia you!!

Dear diary,

Just wanna pen down some thoughts

We are friends for years
Someone whom I never thought would be my friend
But I'm glad you were part of my life
There were times you show concern
I really appreciate it
It make me feels like someone really cares
You were always there when I need someone to talk to
The advice you gave always allow me to see things in a different perspective
And i always listen to you cos i trust you
Though there was twice u hurt me without knowing it
But I didn't blame you
Now I hardly see you...
That day i saw you, we were like strangers.
We saw each other but no words between us

count down.. sleepless

Time=12.15am... tired but i can't sleep. Has been turning in late this whole week. this week really past in a wink. It's getting nearer... 28 more days! so scary... been studying with cheryl this week except today. I wanna slp but i'm guilty so i can't slp.
How??? dunno is mentally tired or physically tired. Read newspaper thinking it will make me sleepy ( wrong tactic ) i shall go do sth that will make mi fall asleep soon. drink hot milk? count sheep, numbers? watch tv? hmm let mi figure this out haha...
i'm lazy to blog now.. notihng much to blog too cos must focus on my studies le. but i will still check my tag board :) to everyone : all the best for ur exams! must drink more water n take good care of ur health ya. 'Survival of the fittest'

@de|ine=> loss of words.

My results

Dear diary,

After a week of school after prelim, i didn't really study but still got do homework that was given. Hmm.. only subject that i met my target was math. But still i'm so disappointed with my paper 1 , expect to do better. Paper 2 which i give up actually surprised me. Chemistry was quite expected that i won't do well. Econ haven get back yet so no comments. The one that is very worrying for me is gp. Today i get back my paper n i think i'm the lowest in class. I get an F9 for gp.. can't believe it! Nv get so low an F9 before in my whole life lor. What should i do to pass gp? thinking...

After school, we celebrated keng ee n mei xuan birthday. To both gals, happy birthday! Hope u guys will have a great weekend celebrating ur birthday with ur loves one ya? Mei xuan, sorry that i nv write in ur card, no one pass to me... rmb to give mi on monday ya. I nv atend the talk on grad nite cos i wanted to go home so that i can go out with my family! Daddy n mummy, love u guys lots! My sisters n bro wanted an adidas bag which they mentioned last sat n on tuesday, my parents walked around orchard for 3 hours just to find the bag they wanted. But i was rather pissed off with my siblings when they saw that what my parents bought was not the one they liked. I was pissed off because they only think of themselves, can't they see how much dad n mum putting in so much effort n time to buy for them? Also, the bag isn't cheap. Even if the bag isn't what they like, they shouldn't 'criticised' it. My parents walk for 3 hours to find it , they went to so many shops till mummy's foot got blisters. So we went to change the bag today. went to city link, spend abt half n hour or more thinking what to change cos that adidas shop also dun have what they want. The guy
there told us that we can go over to suntec city to see if they have what we wanted. Argh, there goes my tennis! Suppose to play tennis at 5, but since we are going over to suntec city, it is imposible to make it for tennis. Luckily we managed to find the bag they like... den we went over to nike to take a look. We look at their bags n dad took one of them. I saw it n say ' hey this looks better'. I only commenting but didn't ecpect dad to say ' den buy it lor' I dun wanna buy cos it is very expensive since we have already bought the adidas bag. So i say dun wan.. so expensive. Dad says it's ok.. as long as u all study hard den it's fine. Aiyo, i feel so bad! I rather he dun buy it for me cos it will make me feel guilty if i did not do well for my exams which i did ( my gp flunk!)In the end, he bought it for me. Also i'm not really in need of a bag even if i like it , i should have stop him but it's difficult to change dad's mind. well, we eat prata in suntec den walk to topshop. Hmm.. another surprise! my sisters saw the colour of the adidas bag they wanted whihc was already out of stocks in most outlets in s'pore. Den we saw a bigger version their bag which kor says he wanted to buy it. moreover, it got the colour he wanted n there is only one left. We gave him a call den send him mms. The assistant told us not to buy cos it is not worth the price (69)so we nv buy. But.. when we reached home my youngest sister says she like the bigger bag den she will pay 50 bucks. we had a bet, cos my youngest sis (cynthia) n I said we saw the same bag in queensway while mum n third sis ( cindy) says they saw a different one. so mum gave cyn 15 bucks n cindy gave 10 bucks to bet while cyn fork out the rest. If it is the bag, she will get sponsored but if not, she will den have to buy it herself in suntec if she wants it. As expected, the bag was sold. Dad n mum are really nice! They called topshop to ask to reserve the bag cos it is the last one n went to buy it for her. Where to find such parents? I'm so blessed! In a day, my house got 3 more sling bags.. n total cost more than 200 bucks! plus all the carpark fees, 3 days of shopping.. the cost of petrol... those sports wear.. n foods. Accumlate to be an awesome amount.

@de|ine => thankful to god for giving mi such a wonderful parents n a great family!

My short n after prelim holidays

Dear diary,

Finally prelims is over but there is still a levels! Well, just have to take one step at a time...

Went to the dental on friday, my teeth got holes! argh.. but i brush teeth at least 3 times a day la. when i ask the dentist why got hole, my dad laugh my mi den the dentist smile! so throw face.. end up i got no answer! it hurts so badly that i nv want to talk in the car to my parents when they talk to me. The dentist says i have to go back after two weeks cos this is just a temporary refill, the nurse says if it really hurts very badly den give them a call. Gosh, i already feel tt it's so painful after the thing , can't imagine the extreme pain.

That afternoon, i went out with cheryl to orchard. We went far east den walk around... spent some time in one of the shop to choose a flower rubber band den end up we nv buy. i think we spent abt 10 minutes. den go to the third level n see earrings. I bought a pair of dolphin n butterfly earrings. but i gave the butterfly earrings to her :) den we walk to wisma n taka. end up eating at the food court .. one of the jap food, we share it cos wanna leave some space for our yummy shake. After which, we went to hereen ( one of the accessories shop)haha.. rmb just now i was saying abt the flower rubber band? we saw it again but this tiem round we were more interested in the flower pin which we bought. It was nice n sweet. Den cheryl bought 2 pairs of butterfly ear stud. one is purple n the other one is white.. we each have one of the colour n she gave it to me. lol... hmm den we went to take neoprints with our flower. Oh next is the best par, as promised, i bought cheryl to billy bomber's to try their shake. each of us order cookies n cream shake. we were sitting inside den every table like have food so we thot better order some food too, end up we order potatoe salad. i dun expect it to be such a big portion cos it is not very expensive given that it's an amercian restaurant! We ate till we ere so bloated la but still left half a plate! our shake also left alot.. den cheryl suggest to play game. we play cai quan. i dunno how to play den cheryl teach mi.. end up i keep losing. or rather, i nv win once at all. den we play siscors paper stone.. i also keep losing. hmmp.. eat so much lor! in the end, i quit playing den we try to eat a bit more. both of us wanted to drink more of the shake cos it is so delicious n really nice. Each of us pay 10 bucks.. walk to centre point to buy cheryl's young cousin present. Initially wanted to buy barbie doll for her once but cheryl's mum says buy sth useful so we bought stationary set instead. Cheryl n I walk to the mrt station den she took mrt while i walk to the bus stop. Kinda weird walking alone in orchard... waited rather long for bus. watched tv the whole night n turn in at ard 2?

On saturday, i went to my cousin's 21st b'day. Nothing special.. mi n my other female cousins were gossiping abt his friends... hmm i didn't drink this time round, dun wanna feel dizzy again after my last experience. Watched 'Full HOuse' in his house.. omg. rain is so cute la! haha, nowadays i'm really into korean shows! n this is really bad.. cos a level is so near. This short break, i've been slacking, nv touch my book at all n din even wanna look at them. slept at 3.30am

Woke up at 12pm... watch tv for hours, talk on the phone with melissa for hours too. went to queensway at ard 5pm. at 6, i went running ard my compound n queenstown stadium. ( i met amanda so ran with her) reached home only at 7.30... been lazing ard for a few hours le. Now i needa go prepare some sch stuff which have to be given by tml.

All i wish right now is - everyday after today, i'll be able to pull myself through. even if i fall, i must still stand up n walk it through. Determination n courage is all i need..

our beautiful flowers

cheryl with her flower

hawaii gals..

Runaway

I dun wish for more... i just wish for long legs. I wanna run away, away from this relistic world. A world that I dun wanna live in. I dun see happiness that other people get to see in life cos my life has nothing to make me feel like wanting to go on. I wanna give up everthing I have to go to paradise...

Where is our happiness?
Every cycle of life, we undergo different stages.
Begin a toddler is the best.
That's where I define my happiness
Too bad that none of us can turn back time
Looking back the past 17 years,
I dun remember any memorable memories
I turn back , only to see a river
I saw the tears from my eyes
These stream of unfateful events occuring in my life
Every now and then, I dun have the courage to live
So far, I have encounter 5 major events that affect my life
Leading to where I m today.
It may be few but it change my life.
Each n everyone give me the same feelings
DISAPPOINTMENT, FEAR, LOST
I knew it's coming near me once again
It's so near that I'm so afraid of seeing the sun out.
Yes, my life is 100000 times better than a majority of ppl in the world.
I have a wonderful family, many friends...
But I dun have the 'luck' of moving towards success
The endless effort put into something
Only always to result in the opposite
Am i wrong in wanting to achieve something?
Am i wrong in believing that i can do it if I put in my best?
Am i wrong in not wanting to face failure?
Tell mi!
I m tired of thinking where n what i did wrong.
I m tired of telling myself yes u can do it
I m tired of everyone placing hopes on me
STOP telling mi i can when i myself dun even know how
Begin a silly, foolish n immature individual
I only have a solution...

It's another new day, it's raining heavily outside.
I want everyday to rain ... so that i hide my tears
I cry to release all my unhappiness

Catch me cos i'm falling...

Dear diary,

Been having my prelims lately... n it's not going to end till next thursday! argh... had a bad chemistry paper 3 yesterday. I already fail it! despite what i had learnt, i had a mental block during the exam.. just cannot think. I nv do environmental chem till as i totally forgot abt it ( leave the ans booklet below my desk) only to realise the last 5 minutes. my organic chem is a total disaster. Hai... i knew this was coming. a bad phenonmenon of my phy chem test. Study till 4.30am makes no difference :(

The only paper i will do well is math paper 1.. paper 2 i tink can also forget abt it le. dunno how to do statistic at all.stupid math .. test so much on memory work for what?
I hate A levels!!! I really need a miracle pill urgently to pull me through this horrible, terrifying n disgusting EXAM. Dunno why i'm feeling so pissed off at this moment in time...

who can help me in math paper 2? ( feel so lost)
i'm a saddist...

@de|ine => desperate help needed .. call 995

Dear diary.

I'm feeling so happy today! It is teachers' day n i sort of quite high cos it is our last year celeberating teachers' day. yesterday i spent hours doing a 'card' for mr low on behalf for the tennis gals. the card is full of roger federer pictures.. his idol! yupz.. i enjoy the performance put up by then new teachers... den oh ya we also bought a nike watch for mr low. His fav too..
reach home at 10.. hurry to find pictures of daddy n mummy. den print it out before they r home. Den i paste them on construction paper n decorate them. wactch tv till 1pm n slept till 4. pig right? i woke up n read chem equilibrium. i flunk my physical cehm test.. so sad though i knew i'm gonna flunk. hai~.. like mich says prelim is just 12 days away.. i nv tried having a full paper before. Can only do well in topical tests in the past, i think this time i will still be dead. I'm still far from finishing half of my syallbus cos i nv touch econ except 1 topic. i hate economics!!!
Went for dinner with my aunt to celebrate daddy bday den bought him to esplande ( chocolate bar!!) we reach there quite late den can only order drinks. but we wanted to eat the desert so we like keep asking. finally, the girl says ok though she looks abit bu shuang. The guy is better.. he was much friendlier. yummy was all i could say.
I love daddy lots n lots.. more than anything in this world! I dun wanna disappoint him for my 'a'levels but now i needa overcome the problem of time shortage! Die die also must try to pass my subjects. All my wish for daddy is to stay healthy!

@de|ine=> thankful for a happy family!

Bad week again

Dear diary,

i feel like every thing is happening again.. what happen to me in the past repeats.This whole day hasn't been that great afterall. n definitely, tomorrow wun be any better esp when there is gp paper ( my worst subject) On monday, we had our mock math paper. the questions are not as difficult if i had study harder for it. However, i'm glad to see that they are not so alien to me , at least i know how to start all the questions. Tuwsday went home to study for chemistry though i had math paper as well. I study from 3.30 to 2am, trying hard to know what is going on for ionic quilibrium. Just can't get myself to understand it. The paper really was a disaster... i nv felt the way i had ydt after the paper. it was really really frustrating n i knew i'm going to flunk the paper badly. Not a single question i got it correct when ms yamuna came in for the last lesson which really turn me off. Just after a motivated talk, the next lesson was hers. I do agree with her that we are not performing well but not her assumption that we flop the paper cos we have two tests today. Because i knew everyone study for chemistry and not math. The paper wasn't difficult at all after she gone through it but they just weren't so straightforward. Also there isn't really enough time to complete the paper for a few of us... i hate to see this happen when it is so near to our major exam. I was thinking that if i do well for this paper, i can so call complete my revision for physical chem but nope, it demoralised me cos despite the effort i put, i get nothing out of it. Hope it doesn't mean my grade for chem is going worst cos in the past once my grade drop before a major exam, it always bring me sth bad. pray hard it wun!
Went home ydt anly at 7pm , my brother pick mi home. at ard 8plus, i felt pain ard my eye. i told my mum but she nv say anything... only at 11 plus i felt sth different den look into the mirror n realise my left eye is swollen. haha.. thot today can dun go school le. morning woke up, it became worst but i dun wanna miss lessons so go school lor. It subside after a few hours so i thot nothing lor but during econ lesson, it started swelling again. by then , i already got an early form from mdm lim. thinking if should go for gp anot cos tml got mock paper ma. when asked who is lecturing, haha it solve my problem. cos mr chan is going to lecture n i dun think will learn anything much. so went home! step out of school, my eye like better alot le. ah ha.. the problem lies within the school. go home n slp for very long... woke up to watch da chang jin. so sad... my eye got swollen again. mum ask mi to go se doctor tml during break cos now all the clinics are close! see how first... ok needa do half of revision 7 before i can go slp...
hope tml gp can pass can le.
@de|ine => swell eye

dear diary,

it had been a busy week due to all the tests. But i had survive them all :) Went to school on monday with a heavy heart knowing it'll be a busy week. On my way to chem lab, i was in a daze till meli ask mi ' did u hear what they say?' cos we met keng ee, cheryl n yvette.. i say 'no' den she says... miss yamuna says there is no chem prac, den wan us to do self revision cos wed got chem test on 3 topics. My mood totally change... hate to do things last minute!! moreover, we have tests on tue n wed.. den she only give us two days to prepare. End up we go lib to study.. lucky still got bring one set of notes.
Tuesday
Drq as usal always fail so nv place high hopes on it too but of cos if pass i'll be glad! nothing special cos wed got two tests... whole afternoon=study
Wednesay
The questions on essay i spot was right!!! But when mr tan gif us see the qns - i was so shock n scare cos i saw the word 'trade deficit' which i thot omg.. study wrong topic liao. The qns damn long la.. i sit so far, can't really see very clearly. was figuring out what the qns asking den after 10 minutes, den i realise is the one that i studied. part of me was feeling happy cos i spot the right one but the other was i don't have enough time!! End of the day got chem test... thanks to the principal it was cancel. i dunno whether to be happy or sad. happy cos test postpone but sad cos there is no reason to do the test badly which means today must study for the test! argh...
Thursday
School ended late... finally there isn't any gp homework today! I did slack a bit but still got revise math. erm.. Only thing i remember was i was disappointed that junyang was out. sob sob.. i think he deserve to get into the final round. Saddned! was glad that kelly got in! Hope she win in the final...
Friday
I slept at 2.30am this morning n got up as usual for school. These two days keep haiving mood swing.. argh, can't stand myself! ( i knew woonli would say den sit lor) haha... lame eh gal but still manage to break into my smile. went home n sleep for hours. at night, i watched tv... read math book 1 till ap gp den daddy came in to ask wanna eat swensen? Hee.. of cos i said yes! den he ask us to go get change. i was wearing like home clothes cos thot go holland eat den go home le. My parents dress quite nice so when we meet out in the living room.. my dad says eh going to orchard leh u sure u wanna wear like that? so i change... it was 10.45pm n there was quite a long queue. we waited for abt 30 minutes den went in. Inside there were still quite a no of empty tables.. i wonder y they kept us outside so long! hmm... we share a regular earthquake, fries n a plate of fish n chips cos everyone seems so full. when we went out... again we saw a long queue but inside there's like abt 4 to 5 tables empty. Think it is one way to do business ba... it's a tactic. Felt so fulll, went home to watch tv again till near 2am den i went to sleep
Saturday
Woke up very late at 11 plus. slack till 1.30 den comtinue my math. done reading book 1 by 4. get ready to go tuition... today is a boringn tiring day. at night.. i nv touch my books. watch tv all the way n went online to slack. time = 11.29pm i'm turning in soon. tml shall be my last tennis training just before my a levels. So sad... i wan to continue but it is not a very wise choice right now. studies some first ya. will enjoy tml training!

Next week
Mon n wed - mock math paper
Wed - inorganic test
Friday - gp papers

@de|ine => mentally n physically drained

I'm already there

i love this song... so touching

I'm Already There
(Richie McDonald/Gary Baker/Frank Myers)

He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
And when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
And said "Daddy when you coming home"
He said the first thing that came to his mind

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there

She got back on the phone
Said I really miss you darling
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright
Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight
And I'll gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes

I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there

We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are

I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
Oh I'm already
There

din manage to decorate but still i love it! 

mi... meli .. mich 

Flustered!

i'm feeling very piss off right now. argh...stop disturbing me u !@#$$%$%#$%%^$#^%#^$. LEAVE ME ALONE FOR GOODNESS SAKE..

regrets.. lost.. troubled

Dear diary,

Walking home with my headphone
Thoughts ran through wildly
Flashes come n go
Words floating by
Walking as slow as a snail
The thought of going home was far
Seven o'clock in the evening
The wind is blowing against me
As I past by my house
Tears rolled down
I dunno what is going through my mind
Soon, i reached the front of the swimming pool
Settle down just before the pool.
Took the phone, i wrote down my feelings
'Message sent' was all i could see
No reply ... the phone was down
The phone rang
Had to pretend i was fine
That wasn't really easy.
Scrolling down my contact list
I rang someone...
Just need someone to talk to me
Keeping me company.
'Someone' isn't free
Just after 'someone' ask why
I cried. Silence.
'Nope, nothing I'm fine. Really I'm fine. Bye'
I couldn't stop tearing...
All I did was sit there
Staring... blasting the music...
9 o'clock time to head home.
Couldn't believe it happen to me.

@de|ine=> fear

My weekends

Dear diary,

This weekend went out with my family to taka to eat lunch at crystal jade. ate quite alot den walk walk ... i managed to buy sth- a book by nicholas spark (true believer) these few weeks, i've read 2 books by nicholas spark n currently reading the wedding. Today i think i only spend 1 n a half hour being attentive in fact only 1 hour ba. During chem lecture, i've been reading the story book all the way den econ i copied notes for half an hour den ther it came the firm alarm. It's so soft la.. can't be heard. Well, jc fire drill is so different la.. we spend 45 minutes in the parade square listening mostly to the principal talking. i'm glad that the receptionist said that to the P haha... also he mentioned about those upgrade stuff in the sch which do not benefit the j2 anyway. After 45 minutes, we realise our break has gone one n only break of the day... need to go hall for civis which is also very boring though it shld concern us. i think everyone was to eat so hardly ask any qns. hmm... throughout the whole day i only listen to ms yamuna lesson.. she's too fierce to be slack in her class. Had to stare at her for the whole 1 hour otherwise i think u will be fry. It's either my eye sight is getting worst or i stare at her too long liao tt's y by the end of lesson i feel that my eyes are so tired. went running today. my timing is getting lousier for 400m. it's like 1.46min. hai~ dun think i can make it for the sports carnival.still thinking if i wanna join anot? i feel like joining cos it's the last year liao but i dun wanna join cos i scare will pull the whole team down. Read econ topic 8 today but had difficulty in understanding them so went running to relax myself n to exercise. but... i think all my effort is gone to the drain cos i ate ice cream after dinner. Toffee cream yummy! watch tv till 10, pack my bag n here i m blogging n chatting. These few days the air con in the bus are working so well that i feel like i'm in a cold c'try. Cold is better than hot i suppose.
An interesting happen on monday that is 'free lunch' in pizza with mich, aiting n wenda. While waiting for gp lesson to start at 4pm, we went to jp for lunch. we were standing outside pizza hut thinking if we shld eat it den a lady came over to ask us do a survey which i ignored her. den the uncle from pizza hut came n told us to help them do a survey in their new flavour of pizza den stil got 5 bucks of voucher. haha... of cos we went in cos , it's such a good deal. When we came out, i felt full lor cos they gave us a rather big piece.so there is our free lunch.. went to coffee bean for desert. my first time there n i ate a chocolate cake.. yummy. gp lesson was a total waste of my time. i regret going for it!
erm... still got quite a no of things i want to blog but i'm sleepy already.
To maria, glad that u drop by to see us. n i really hope to see u next year haha hopefully is in usa. :) take good care n miss ya !

@de|ine = tired

,my week

Dear diary,

This week is rather packed with my inorganic chemistry test, continous random variable test n a written assignment for protectionism on wed, thur n fri respectively. Stayed back in school on tuesday to mug chem with cheryl, wenda n michelle. Hmm, we studied till 3.30 den went to spc den bought lots of food n had orange juice. eh.. can't really remember where mi n cheryl went cos we were heading back to the benches near the yoga room. Wanted to reach the bench first so i ran den cheryl found a shortcut which i din realise. when i saw her in front of mi, i was shocked .. the very next moment she fell. i'm even more stunned yet wenda was there laughing real hard la. cos she says the way cheryl fell is so funny. lol... in the end every1 end up laughing after wenda show us how cheryl fell. Poor cheryl, hope ur knee is doing fine ya? well, we studied till like 6? den korkor came to pick mi n send cheryl to je. Can't imagine how my brother actually passed his driving test! almost got into an accident on our way home ... every morning sit his car i dare not even sleep. Everytime red light his eyes auto will close one. cannot stand him .. argh!!! today he did it again. had to push him real hard den he will wake up. Back to tue, went to slp at 1am but my stupid tooth hurts like hell that i kept toss n turn till i can't stand it anymore. i woke up to brush my teeth again at 1.45am. the pain ease for a while n came back again .. only till 3am den i slp lor. The next day got chem test which is rather tough for me to concentrate cos i'm tired. i din know how to do those calculation questions but the others looks alright to me. my math test was quite sucky. i hate crv... dun understand the topic at all! lucky i pass , get 17/25. I can nv understand myself.. everytime the test is easy, i screw it all up with my careless mistakes. when everyone find the test easy, i beg to differ. everyday of my tests get worst! econ is the best... can't even remember what to write for that questions la.. just crap all the way.
Stayed back in school today fot the different courses of talks for different university. After hearing the talk on accountacy offered in NTU, i'm quite attracted to me cos i think the job prospect is huge so not scare cannot find a job. Wasn't really interested in the business cos i know it bound to have econ! DId my chem hw while waiting for my bro to fetch me.. ask him to come at 5 he dun want.. in the end have to queue up in the road! all thanks to him. the journey home was funny cos everytime he see a jam, he will says change road change road. end up everywhere also traffic jam! haha.. lousy la you... next time please come early hor. btw, ur car stinks! do spray more perfume .. i almost faint! haha... weekend is here le, aain thinking of where to haf fun this weekend.

@de|ine=?

I'm bleeding profusely.
No passer-by... the road is empty.
What m I suppose to do?
No roadsign, no direction...
I'm stuck in my mind, my heart, my soul.
At this moment in time, I'm wandering off
Things look the same but they aren't..
Silence was appreciated in the past like u said.
Now silence is cold - strangers was what I felt.
It's not sadness nor anger, it's more of pain.
Mentally tired I am to go through this.
U know what I mean.
Eversince that day,
I had already lose you without saying anything.
I guess nothing could be done.

@de|ine=> been in a daze for days...

Tennis gathering.

Dear diary,

Yesterday i had my inter-house tennis.. played singles but in the second round i got kicked out haha. was playing against xiangying in the first n cheryl in the second round. hmm... lucky cheryl is from owens too. hope she can help owens win :) all the best gal! After tennis, the team went out for dinner with mr low . It has about 2 to 3 months since we ate a meal together. as usual, mr low is so poor thing always got disturbed by us haha. shall not say anything here :P We had pizza den went to kfc to chit chat. I sat with grace, merilyn n mr low. I nv knew i was such a person to others eh... do i look the type who is easily bullied? do i always look like i'm always dreaming? m i the type who needs someone to shower lots of love on me in a relationship? m i someone who will not do anything really bad if i was to be provoked? haha... i dunno eh. but the way they say mi till i like cannot take care of myself eh , that i'm not fierce enough. Mr low always say i'm those qian jin xiao jie. aiyo, i'm not lor... ok la, i nv do housework at home doesn't prove that ma. in s'pore so many children also got maid at home ma. I dun like to get myself dirty also equal to qian jin xiao jie ar? hmm... maybe in a big group, i dunno how to express myself that's y i dun show alot of myself with the tennis team. anyway, surrently i'm reading a story book by nicholas sparks- the guardian. hope i can read finish by today or latest by tml. looking forward to read the last part of the story cos my fren says it's very sad.
Today i finally pluck up the courage to give u a letter n a gift. To u my dear, i had no intention to hurt ur feelings but i hope u understand that this letter i hope can bring us closer and not to pull us apart. U know that u are special to me n by giving u this letter, i hope we can clear our problems so that life still carry on. I hesitate to give to u cos i'm so afraid of losing someone like u but i gave u cos i wanna go back to the past like how we had been through the one n a half years. Like i said, if only things were as simple...

@de|ine=> back to reading!

I want all the luxury in the world!

Dear diary,

It's a sunday today! As usual i had my tennis training... only one word can describe - Joy! Can't believe that i'm so into tennis now that i enjoy playing it so much :) Yesterday was my very first time i think i a little drunk haha. After tuition, I took a cab to my sunt house coz they having a birthday party for my second sunt. hee.. happy birthday! Well, met up ith all my big n cute little cousins. Kids just grow very fast n they are becoming so smart! In the near future, think at my generation really have to lower ourselves to understand them better le. So adorable .. love them all! Near to midnight... my cousins n I gathered n we talked n play games. haha... had two male cousins they were playing hmm a different version of hei bai pei. it was so funny... End up i dunno why, al of us were drinking red wine - cornerstone. Never heard before but it tastes alright la...We chatted n drink till we all lost counts of how glasses were being drunk. By ard 2.45am, all of us were like so dead. my cousins are uttering rubbish.. can't stand them. Went home at 3am... i felt sharp pain on the left side of my stomach.. tink drink too much le ba cos i nv drink so much b4. luckily my parents nv scold haha...
had to wake up at 7.30am this morning. Came home at 12pm den watch tv till 3 plus n sleep till 6pm. My sunday is gone just like this... A levels is just 4 months away.
please... let mi pull through another obstacle this year.
Everytime i think of my studies, i felt that i've disappoint my parents n myself. Perhaps i'm someone with very high aims that's why great disappointment always come. Since young... nothing goes smoothly for me like what my parents alway say.. i'm so unluckily. things always happen bad for me. just hope these are tests set by god for me n things will change for the better. I'm thankful for having the determintion to do everything in my life otherwise i'll be long be defeated by these tests. Most of all, i'm thankful for having such wonderful parents who give me a great family!

@de|ine=> emotional

Just another day...

Dear diary,

Another week is going to pass by again... this week i'm busy with making some stuff for my friend. I totally never study at all this week. This whole week I've been sleeping for the whole afternoon n for the past two days, I've keep having nightmares so scary... it's about crime scene. Argh...hope i dun have anymore nightmares! Hmm... today is the longest day of the week cos lesson end at 4pm every thursday. Truthfully, my mind shut down at around 10.30am. throughout the day i like in a blur n sleepy mode... can't absorb anythng. We celebrated aiting, cheryl n yi wee birthday for this month during our break time. Wa, the class fund is realli o brokE lor. I just coleected 5 bucks not long ago but now left less than 40 bucks.Haha.. so if anyone from my class is reading tis hope you guys understand that is not i everytime i wan to collect money wor cos this year we spend ard 30 to 35 bucks on the cakes n cards for birthday of the month. :)
Get back chem paper for the structured de.. did rather well. glad that all my efforts are not gone down the drain.. hee. but my econ finished le lah.. mcq fail lor. i thik get ard 5 or 6 correct onli de my case study also not good at all. The only one i can rely is my essay le but i dun pin too much hope.
On youth day holiday, i went to play tennis with denis n his friends... it was fun but the sun is so scorching. PLayed from 10am to 12pm at kallang. den we go concourse after bathing to play pool n eat lunch. I nv realli play pool cos they are too good for me to anything play haha. so i went to walk walk n bought myself some stuffs for the gift i'm making. Next time wanna open party esp for kid must go concourse n buy all the party stuffs.. cheap n there r variety of fun things. Tml i'm gonna play tennis with samuel n michelle( my tennis fren) from 12 to 2.30 den at 5pm will play with mummy :) So afterall, tennis is part of my life besides sleeping so i'm not a pig wor. Lol.
I go watch tv le tata.. take care people! May blog a little lesser now cos i wanna spend more time writing in my real diary...

@de|ine=> an acheivement achieve!

Slacking days

Dear diary,

School has begun... i had received my timetable n only thursday was the worst. my lesson end at 4pm on thursday... the rest erm.. mon is 1, tue n wed is 12.30 n fri is 12. quite slack la but hate thursday which is tml. Right now i'm ore worried about my coming gp test on friday ( think i will fail lo.. so long nv touch gp stuff as in do compre nor essay). Moreover, my gp tutor says no one is to fail the essay. These three days i m still in holiday mood la .. coe home n sleep like nobody business. yesterday i watched hide n seek n inital d. yupz... den today i slept for 2 n a half hour. After dinner, i went to pack my math file cos i'm the 'lucky' one to be picked for checking!~ nvm.. luckily tt i've already organised my stuff so it's rather easy just that later have to do corrections.hmm... tried to do my math assignment 33 but i see the first question n it's cracking my brains. I chose to ignore n went to watch tv n right now i'm online n watching tennis. On monday, i had tennis with mum n her friends. I love playing tennis! it's so much fun.. lots of fun! But i have a very bad habit tt is i dun like to run for the balls.. so i'll be like waiting the balls to come if not i wun hit it. Mum says i gonna change.. yupz i agree! Interhouse is coming. n i hope i can play well n sure must enjoy it! Think tonight will be stuck in front of my tv le. Wanna watch superstar n tennis. this week still not in the mood of studying... rest for one or two more weeks den try to go back my normal ba. Just hope i dun slack too much... got back my math paper. I'm quite satified with my results - 70.5,, all b'coz of my careless mistakes. hmm i have gone through my paper n make ralli alot of stupid careless mistakes. well, just make sure my a levels dun repeat the same mistakes can le right? So i sort of achieve one of my aim for this mid year ... keep going on adeline!!! Today though the day is short in school but alot of things to learn.. gosh! environment chem seems so tireous... econ is like blur. had stress management n haha i fit in all the catergories lor.. must be i very stress lol. haha.. hope it's not! sian first day of sch.. ms yamuna is there to remind us that a levels is like abt 3 months away... ok but thanks to her i need to wake up real soon away from my holiday mood.


@de|ine=> holiday mood

My days...

Dear diary,

I had just completed my mid year exams on thursday... it's like another miracle that i have gone through it. my last paper was the worst cos economics ended late den left just a few hours to study before the day ends. as usual, i try my best to keep myself awake so that i can look through at least once for all the topics. In the end, i studied till 4am, at that point of time, i no longer felt sleepy but still i think i need some sleep otherwise tml take paper will sleep haha so i slept. the next day i woke up, i was shocked! I saw myself as white as sheet, i was in a daze the whole morning till i reached school. i felt better le. After the paper, i went home. thanks dad n mum for fetching me home everyday of my papers... love ya! Because of u, i'm able to study well. hopefully i dun bring disappointment to you guys. Blessed me! After chem, i felt so relief. But i just wasn't feeling well, having my cramps .. making me no strength nor any energy at all. actually meli n i were suppose to go out n have fun but both of us were like so sian so nv go out. I came home n watch tv, lie on my sofa...soon my parents went out. i was addicted to this wonderful programme - photoimage so i was playing with it for like 3 to 4 hours. throughout the hours, i just dun feel like walking anywhere, only sit down in front of my computer. I realised i haven had a proper meal till 6 plus when my parents were back.
The next day which is friday, i went out to k-box with my fren, den we go shopping, took neo prints... (to daddy, haha thanks for the exra cash u gave me... u said to keep it a secret but in the end u told mummy lol) I bought a pair of earrings which was at sales . it's a big ring.. at first thought it looks alright but when i tried it at home it was very big la. Saw lots of stuffs i wanna buy but they r damn expensive! i told my self that next time i must earn lots of money so that i can buy whatever i like whahaha. ok.. i'm being mad right now.. having a very big bubble above my head. since young got so many dreams for the future... but very likely they are not fulfil. ok.. i'm tired le. shall stop here. goodnitez!

All Smiles!

Dear diary,

I had a great time today... but lazy to write haha. Thank u for giving me such a wonderful day! I'm all smiles... :)

@de|ine => all smiles..

Stress!!!

Dear diary,

I've been studying real hard for next week mid year... i'm studying of an average of at least 7 hours per day .. can u imagaine tt? i nv tired studying for so many many days of at least 7 hours.. gosh! I ate alot too... first time eh. usually near exam period i dun eat alot de... den will lose some weight haha.. but this time i eat alot lor. pray hard my weight dun increase... hmmm but got a few days i ate quite healthily... got influence by my gf to eat wheat bread lol. tastes yummy!!! I have look through all the topics once le... the problem now is memorising my facts! I'm really a wooden block eh... always must memorise stuffs den can .. since secondary school. i can never understand anything. Argh! hate myself for doing so.. everyone says it's not good... esp for econs is like how to memorise? so many many things.. i really dunno where to start from! ANGRY~ this week i only spend 2 days on math yet i am aiming quite high for math. hai~ so contradict right? maybe i shld just aim all pass can le.. so that my disappointment will not be great. Heard from gf that math will be difficult for this mid year... Damn stress !! recently i've been waking up real early in the monring cos i couldn't slp well but i felt so tired.. den i sleep quite late at night with my tv on cos i could not slp! yesterday i suddenly felt a strong feeling.. it's difficult to describe. my mind is totally in a blank... den all i wanted to do is to grab something to hang on. i felt so weak that i feel like collapsing... very very weird... den in a split second, i was alright den i was sitting in front of my sofa. WEIRD! is this a sign of depression or stress.. something is wrong!~ hmmm still wanna wish myself all the best. four more days to the horrorifying papers.

@de|ine=> down at the bottom of the sea searching for pearls!

I'm elated!!

Dear diary,

i'm feeling elated right now hee... cos i just came home from town. whaha... went out with my friend den we go bugis n orchard. lol.. bought a roxy shirt den we took neoprints. lol.. very nice wor but cannot show ppl :( hmm.. we went out at 6pm den reach home onli at 10.30. very unlucky .. we just reach bugis mrt station den my slipper spoil lor.. but i still wear it till i reached home though quite difficult to walk. haha.. cos onli bring 30 buck den dun wanna spent on slippers. Hmm... we went to bugis village n shop. actually is to relieve stress la today go out... i did math today n complex numbers really sucks! function is alright :) hmmm... tml is econ days ( i hate econ most!) what's the best thing going out is eating chocolate cake n brownies!! lol, we share hehe. den we sit at the place like quite romantic whaha ..it's really sinful having all the chocolates inside right now. opps.. these few days while i study den i eat really really alot of stuffs. think this holiday dunno gain how much weight le. die ar... plus i yesterday no tennis!! hmmm.. i keep telling myself wei le this mid year i must jia you.. but i very scare. what if i study so hard den in the end all i receive is just useless grades that does not prove my hardworkingness? *pray hard that it wun happen ok* pray pray pray... please!!! but the bad thing is i study le den i tend to forget the stuff very easily leh. hai~
i hope i can do better for math ( pray tt math paper dun so tough) den chem .. hmmm hope i can memorise the organic reactions very well. the other topics i dun care much. as for econ only aim for a pass... these are my aims for this mid year.yupz... adeline jia you!! must do it ok!
to my friend who went out with me,
i really enjoy the time we spend today cos i really felt very happy. thought the time is quite short but it's a fruitful one... first time eating such expensive chocolat cakes n brownies.. also i love the photos we took :) love ya lots!!! hee ( smiling ) *winks*

@de|ine=> reborned!

I wish i were here with you..

Dear diary,

I felt so lucky yet upset... I felt so lucky to have my parents with me cos without them, i won't be able to see the wonders of this world. I'm thankful especially to my daddy for him working so hard to give my family a comfortable life n giving us all that he could. Supporting me in my education so that i will have a better future. I love you daddy more than anything in this world ... Since young, u are always my hero. you taught me how to walk through my tough times, giving me advice n be there for me. At times, when u n i were alone talking... i felt the warmth that u gave me. The jokes that u said are so funny... u have a wonderful brain which i admire alot!!! How i wish i had too. Wishing you a Happy Father's Day! Love ya daddy...

I'm upset today cos not everyone has the chance to be enjoying celebrating Father's Day.

My dear cousin, i wanna let u know that even though ur dad has left u but he will always be there with you no matter where you go. I know just like me, our daddy place an important role in our lives. Even if everyone is there to console U, it's tough to overcome what had happened. Remember that you are not alone, i'll always be there for you . i'm just a call away from you... right now, u must be feeling lost. I dunno how to console you but hopefully soon u will become the cheerful gal like the past. Do know that your daddy will want you to be happy n move on with your life. He will always be with you.. alway~ Love ya gal.. cheer up :)
[remember to eat ok?] i'll always be there for u!

@de|ine => i'm thankful.

My tooth is hurting~

Dear diary,

My tooth is hurting so badly! Ouch!.. it has been three days , i told my parents n they just told mi to drink more water. pray hard that i'm not having my wisdom tooth cos gf says it's very painful to remove it :( Nowadays, i dun really talk alot to you le... cos talking to you just hurts me. Yesterday i had a dream... i dreamt of u being angry with me but i dunno the reason. we were suppose to sit together in the bus but u won't allow me to... so i sat behind. i suspect the reason for u being angry is b'cos perhaps u have read my blog. (If ever one day u were to see this, i wanna let u know that it's not i don't wanna talk to u abt it cos i'm so afraid to lose you someone whom was my best friend but now i wun dare to say we are... just that we are still close.) When i woke up, i pray so hard that this didn't happen at all n i'm glad that it din.. it was just a dream. Went to school for econs n got back my econ script .. i just passed. After class, we celebrated yan qin's early birthday which is on 16th june. Then, i went home, had so much hesitation when i was eating my lunch cos my tooth just hurts. After lunch which took a long time to finished eating, i went to my bed. I tried to sleep , was rocking on my bed, rolling on my bed... only managed to slp maybe after an hr. Stupid tooth!! felt like removing it so much. Woke up at 2pm. At 3pm, i went out with my carboxylic acid notes, wallet n hp. Walked around my neighbourhood for abt 30 minutes .. felt really relaxed n i wish i hadn't have to stop walking... den i walked to the linrary n sat down to read my carboxylic acid notes... went around the library n pick up a few books - poems.. i read n was so engrossed with it. some were sad but some were so encouraging... at ard 6 plos, i walked home again. Did not have my dinner cos i dun have appetite. watch tv throughout the night till 10pm,n i'm online :)No mood to study le!!! argh.. i hate exams! always feel so restricted , gulity , useless ... i always want to be free! When is the day coming? *wonder*

@deline=> it's a bad day!

Why do i feel this way?

Dear diary,

i'm feeling real down right now.. i'm lost. i feel like going out .. away from everyone cos i felt so cheated throughout my whole life. I'm not sure if this is a moment of being rash or it's really what i think is just my own feelings n imagination. just before i grumble, i would like to thanks melissa n my friends for accompanying mi out yesterday. nice to see u all again... mel n i went shopping den jx join us as usual... after that i meet my secondary school classmates( melvin, wai leong n winson) to watch movie - cursed.. i din realli know what it was about but i was frightened at some parts of the movie. den we went to eat near the esplande-makansutra. after we hav eaten , we went near to the sea, i like the feeling-the feeling of peace as the wind blows away all my troubles. Reached home only after 12am.. woke up this morning den slack slack till afternnon went shopping wif mummy. lol, we went to pray den go bugis village n i brought another top.. oh ya yes mel n i bought the same top but diff colour. quite cool ya? yupz, den we shop till 6 plus n i went to meet zy who make mi walk for so long to reach west coast park. make mi sweat like one kind! haha, but it's kinda of fun to walk with him cos he make mi laugh all the way...but still scare tt he bring mi anyhow walk ... luckily we reached there but it's like 30-45 minutes lor. the bbq was alright cos we dunno alot of ppl.. so i left shortly after mel left...
During my bus journey, i've been thinking alot... i think about my friendship with my close friend. I cried cos i felt disappointed, i felt being used, i felt like a fool... maybe all these are just my thinkings n it's unfair to say u these way cos maybe u nv feel that u treated mi like this before. Or maybe being unattached i can't feel the way u have for him.. that he is more important than ur 'best friend'. well, i can't balme u for i know what type of person he is... but i'm upset with u cos u dun realise that u have neglected ur friend. What m i to you? A ball? so when u r sad, when u r happy, when u really need someone to talk to n couldn't find one.. u'll find mi? will update someday again.. i can't take it anymore .. my eyes r hurting.. i felt so heavy, my eyes are full of liquid that i can't see what i'm typing..

Have you ever ...

Dear diary,

this morning I woke up n i just got the urge to write this...

Have you ever...

Have you ever wonder how it feels to be alone?
The feeling of nobody understands you.
The feeling of nobody cares for you.
And you don't know why are you here.

Have you ever sat down and your tears just flow?
The feeling of nobody is around you.
The feeling of being outcast by the world.
And you don't know why are you crying.

Have you ever shout at someone whom didn't anger you?
The feeling of people questioning you.
The feeling of people not trusting you.
And you don't know the reason behind.

Have you ever feel like escaping?
The feeling of being a carefree bird.
The feeling of being whom you want.
And you don't know how to realize it.

adeline
10.05a.m.
31-05-2005

In life, we encounter so many so many feelings that at times, we just didn't know how to react to them neither do we know why do we have this feeling. I think that is what makes human being special from all other livings things...

SuMmEr SeAsOnS

Dear diary,

It's the beginning of the summer seasons.. n we are supposed to be having fun in the beach or out there in town for the great singapore sales... but things just weren't mean that way for my schoolmates n mi ba. It is exactly 3 weeks away from mid year exams. I studies econ - banking and monetary . still halfway through cos i'm taking my time. so far i only remember the motives for demanding money . quite happy le.. cos at least i started. hmm.. this week, i'm gonna pick a day out to watch movie, go town n nowadays i got the urge to have another new ear hole.. (opps, m a bad gal)this friday, i'm already booked to go for a bbq so is either tml or thursday. hmm i hate going school during holidays , y can't we have our own free time! what's worst is how can they place mid year exams during june holidays? hai~..next week have to go back school! recently, i just had a haircut n i quite like it cos it makes my hair very light. Last friday, we end school at 11.30 den zhanyu bring mi out of school though it's against the school rule where we can only step out of school at 1pm. It was my first time, so i was really very scare n borrow early leave form from junyang.. When the uncle ask mi, i just show him the form .. whew, my heart was beating very fast. Hmmm.. went to far east wif mum n dad to cut my hair. the hairdresser's hair very cool! I din tell him how i wan my hair to be den he just cut n it looks nice. it's step-layer. mum saw n she says she also wanna cut. my dad was becoming very impatiet cos both of us took 2 hrs plus to had our hair cut done. i walked round far east n saw some stuffs i wanna buy but dare not ask cos dad looks rather unhappy. saw a pair of slippers for 19.90 n a top for 20+. I'm waiting for melissa to see when she free den can go n shop. yesterday had my tennis training n after palying for 45 minutes, i felt like fainting just like the other day. think i'm under the sun too long. Feels nice to pay with the new string though sometimes the sound it make sounds awful! the rest of today i will be watching tennis le. it's the tennis season! so many good n young players this french open.. got one is as young as 15 n what's cooler is tt she beats serena william! haha.. good job!! wanna see who's winning this french open think maria got a high chance as usual. russians girls are just damn good .. so many of them in the top 16.

@de|ine=> resting

Hell of a 'nice' world!

Sitting right here, my mind is so BLANK
I hate myself for being who i m right NOW
I'm not who I used to be.
Someone i DUN even wanna become...

Everytime i tried to turn around i FAILED!
All i could do is to ask WHY?
At times i just FELL down n let my TEARS flow
There isn't any STRENGTH for me to walk on

I felt so USELESS
dISAPPOINMENT goes n comes again
Each time i had to face the STORMY day
I tried to ESCAPE

When i'm all ALONE, all i do is to go to my DREAMLAND
Cos i know, that's where i wanna GO
But i know if this continue, I'll be SUFFERING all my life
Yet i can't bring myself to CHANGE it

One point of my life, i felt my fren dun TRUST me
I remember her WORDS that day.
It SADENED me but i didn't mentioned anything
Back on my bed, i thought if she was really the one i'm LOOKING for

If our FRIENDSHIP has come to a point where TRUST DOES NOT exist,
I would choose to gave up EVERYTHING including you
Cos I wouldn't want myself to get HURT again - EVER.
Ur one sentence change my THOUGHTS everytime i see u

Sometimes, i WONDER if u believe what i said
Or was it something that u just accept n said another about it
I DUNNO...
Cos all i could SENSE is the trust has gone eversince that day

Perhaps there ISN'T a real friend in this world
Everyone just wear a MASK
If so, WHY let each other to be met?
Even after meeting, someday the mask will DISAPPEAR
Soon, u'll realise that everything was just a LIE

A LIE! After so much we have gone through, it all turn out to be just a drama
Reality comes by, once again u r left alone facing the HARSH world
As much as i wanna run away, i couldn't
Only when i STOPPED breathing, i can really enter my DREAMLAND forever.

I wanna be ALONE! Leave me in my world of IMAGINATIVE friends. the ones i REALLY yearn for ... I HATE this world.. wishing i was NEVER even born!

A touching book

Dear diary,

Good morning! It's now 10.07am n i woke up about half an hour ago. had a fitfull sleep yesterday cos i slept at 10am. Pig rite? but i was tired... school ended early at 10 den once i reached home, i rested for a while den went to the hair salon. Yupz.. when i came home, i met ee mei n yuan xun. eh.. thot i was rather rude cos i like want to rush home so nv talk alot to them... yesterday was yuan xun b'day so ya.. once again happy 18th birthday! At around 5pm, i went out with my sister cynthia to city link n suntec just to walk walk lor but she looked so sleepy den like not very fun. anyway, saw some nice stuffs.. quite conteented le cos i haven't been going to town for a long time. I never buy anything eh.. haha. MiracLE.. Hmm.. this week is coming to an end soon. During one of day in this week, i was reading a book 'A Child name 'IT'' It was a nice n rather saddening book.. i took it out n read cos nothing to do .. but before i knew it, i was crying like river flowing down my cheeks. So sad.. just felt like killing the mother so as to end his horrifying life with all sorts of sufferings.. This is a true story n i can't imgine if i were the boy, how i able to take it? I think i would have just kill myself... So far, this is the only book that make me cries throughout the whole story like every a few minutes. Today. ee mei is celebrating her 18th b'day but i cannot go cos got math tuition which ended at 7.30pm. ya lor.. den i think by the time i reach there it's so late le. Hopefully, u have a great day ya? Actually felt like going cos all my secondary schools mates all there... hai~ Alright.. needa get the day started by eating my breakfast! tata

@de|ine=> afresh!

Hope i'm fine

Dear diary,

argh.. just now type halfway den hand itchy go n click on else thing! Was saying tt i haven been blogging for like 13 days le. Hmm.. this 2 weeks have been studying cos of common test but i didn't do well sob sob. Well, life is full of up n down , i haven gotten over it le. Last thursday, i pon yoga den go shopping with meli at log 1 to buy present for yvette n wenli. we walk for a long time den cannot find till we went to more than words. Wah.. i must say meli is a great shopper . she grabs thing as if it is free wor. Haha.. we manage to bought their gifts den i walk to one of the shops we went in just now to buy my favourite collection - earrings . whaha.. it's cheap la so i buy hee. i gave meli one . hte next day she wore it but teacher says cannot. den sun had my usual training but what is special is that i broke my string... after playing so long finally i broke it yea so happy! haha.. think others will think i'm mad but it's a good sign!~ Den monday we got release early.. slacker ms yamuna lol. but continue to do so! K... back to today, i had my guitar lesson den we r learning on two songs.. qing fei de yi n guan huai fang shi. I think guan huai fang shi easier but still my fingers r hurting... ouch. Wonder when den can i play the song fast enough... alright enough for today le.. i wanna do watch tv den maybe later go try out my guitar again.. den see needa do econ anot. hope i dun need to den today can slack whaha.. this week i'm a big time slacker cos usually i'm just a slacker. haha.. lame. tml got tennis wif mum... n yoga in sch (bore)

@de|ine=> i'm happy

When will i be motivated? continuation...

Dear diary,

I'm continuing what happen during my long weekend. On monday, i woke up at about 9 plus so thati can study economics. But this alway happen... during the public holidays n weekends, my sisters whom i'm saring room with always wake up very late. Then i cannot study lor cos if i switch on the light den they wil complain , also i need to turn on the music to study. Thot i can study outside but dad is using the computer n turning on his music till so loud. I was quite angry then cos this house does not provide a good environment den no one cares about you la. I went into my room, pack my bag n went out of the house. I went to delifrance at anchorpoint , bought ice mocha n sat down . Thoughts running through my mind.. really thought og leaving the house after what have happen. It may be a small thing but at that point of time, i couldn't help it but thinking that it doesn't matter if i'm part of the family anot.

The econ test was ok but i dunno if i can pass it cos case study is so tough la. been having the urge to play tennis today so i sms my mum during econ to ask her book tennis court tmr. I totally forget that friday got chem test la but nvm .. i miss playing tennis.
Had my guitar lessonm today.. i finally learn how to play some chords hmm : C, D Em , G.. but my fingers are hurting le. sob sob.. painful~ must have determination!

@de|ine=> wanna slack!

When will i be motivated?

Dear diary,

Had my economics common test n chemistry class test today... My long weekend has just ended but i didn't enjoyed it at all. I started to read econ on saturday for the whole morning n i was really very frustated cos i could not figure a single thing out! After reading topic 3 - national in come accounting, i sat down at my bed. I just felt like crying. Questions flooded my head making me dizzy that i just wanna faint. I asked myself if i were so stupid n brainless that i could not even know what i'm reading? Was it my fault that i'm in this state.. hai~ perhaps ba.. if only i had not choose this subject den things might not be as bad. After being angry with myself, i had no choice but to turn to my friends.. looking through my hp contacts, i called cheryl. Den ask her if sunday she is free to study together den she can teach mi.. luckily she agreed! thanks alot cheryl.
On sunday, i went for tennis training without breakfast... Michelle wanna study chemistry so cannot make it for tennis training so i was alone.. i must say that training alone is tough n tiring. near to the end of the training, i was like so wobbly n my sight seems to be blurrin g so i have to ask my coach to stop. Most likely is due to me not have my breakfast.. thanks to guanghui having that muffin with him . haha. i ate half of it n felt much better. Went off to macdonald to meet cheryl .. den we ate n started studying at 11.30 till 5.30. I began to understand abit more n was rather happy although haven i memorise my facts. We did slack for like an hour n a half , went to boon lay shopping to buy kinder also we share filet meal at about 3 plus. Cheryl was sick den she brought a 1.5L of water to mac. lol.. i would not dare to bring it cos like very funny but after seeing her doing that.. next time if i'm not feeling well, i might do that too. That night, i was in my aunt house cos they are celebrating early mother's day. Didn't wanna go cos i hot study for my test more important but i went cos mum was not happy about it. As expected, going there is a waste of my time . But i chatted with my cousins who are 23 n 22 years old .. they used to be in jjc too. Talking to them make me feel that i'm going to flunk my A Levels... It was 11.30pm n i wanted to go home le so that i can study so went to hurry my parents but they drag till 1.30 lo. argh.. sometimes they just dun understand our thinking. At that point of time, i felt like 'scolding' them... telling them if i were to fail my grades is not my fault but theirs! of cos i didn't, if i were to say that i will regret in the future..so better not be rash. think i stop here n continue another day.. the long weekend just wasn't good at all.. so many thoughts n things happening.. i wish i m alone at times.

@de|ine=> tired but still hanging on..

Tired!~

Dear diary,

Ooo.. it's been long since i blog ya? hmm.. too busy with my tennis training n school stuff ba. Anyway, my tennis tournament is ocming to an end next wednesday which is against acjc. however, i'm not playing cos i'll be learning my guitar :) On friday, we had a match against nyjc n we won hee.. 5-0. For my game, sim yee n I beat them with 9-4. i'm elated cos it's my first match that i won in tennis since i only took up tennis last year. Yesterday, i woke up at 8.30 den was busy with melissa's gifts as she is celebrating her birthday in the evening (bbq). I went to ikea to buy boxes to put her presents... n went to buy the card. well, i bought a total of 18 gifts for her as it was her 18th year old b'day. this is my 2nd year celebrating her birhtday .. only got to know her last year in jjc. I'm thankful to have such a wonderful fren who came along in my journey n walk mi thru sunshine n storm. I liked a few gifts that i gave her which includes the photo alblum, diary ( which i make it as though it was not opend yet) , a heart shape pedant that can place photo inside and a voice recordable bear. In fact i liked all that i gave her... We had lots of fun in her bbq , after dinner our class played games - mr wolf n stepping ballons. sounds so childish right? but... it's always good to have some childhood memories right? Went home only at 11.40 den we reached the bus stop near 12 which we thot we had missed the last bus. luckily, we didn't! lol.. slept in the bus den reach home when it is abt 12.45 ba. This morning i woke up late for my tennis training.. but glad that my parents sent mi over otherwise i dun have to train le. I left at 9.30 to mac at boon lay there to have breakfast with my frens. practically, i'be been doing nothing except sleeping n eating throughout the day till now. recently i hvae sign up for two idp courses - pop guitar n songwriting.. hope i dun regret making this decision as this year i'm having A levels n i'll be spending 4 hours a week for a month learning this extra courses. I doubt i'll have time to blog sooner as week 7 is a very busy week.. all the test coming up. Hai~ i hate tests!!!

@DE|INE=> i wanna slack..

I'm free!

Dear diary,

Remember the friendly match i mentioned? Ya.. it was cancelled due to the continuous rain. We waited for 2 hours n it was cancelled!! waste our time... after that the whole team went to habour front. it was rather cool i mean.. every one wearing our team shirt. there is really a bond between each and every of us though we might not know each other very well. Had macdonalds for breakfast.. taste yummy! i just love mac breakfast :) Saturday was just another sleepy day!
On sunday, i had tennis in the morning , took a bath n meet wenda at 12/45 to go tow. Woo.. i felt so happy tt day cos very long nv go town le. We went to bugis , ate lunch. I ate curry chicken rice but i realised that i were eating very ungracefully cos i dunno how to use the fork n spoon to tear the chicken. In the end, i gave up n ate only the potatoes. haha... we spent like 3 to 4 hours in that shopping centre. There were many nice shops that we visited... n as a earrings lover, i bought 3 pairs that day. One is for my best pal de. Nowadays, i'm into butterflies! They r so beautiful - of different colours n their wings r amazing! We also went to bugis village n saw many nice tops... wan to buy but no money eh! i wann to go work so that i can go out n buy all the stuffs i love! Had a offer from my sister to give tuition to her friend's brother who is primary 1. but i think better not cos when a levels i coing, i'm afraid i will neglect him so i rejected.
Can't remember what i did on monday.. like got something on after sch but i just couldn't remember what was it. nvm
Tuesday - had tennis training after a day of boring school. had lessons til 4 but only a total of 1 hour break! we had a change of gp tutor to mr goon who always make mi wanna laugh cos of his expression. tennis training was fun yet tiring... went home to have my dinner , watch tv n fell asleep while studying for econs.
Wednesday- ended school very early today at 12.30. wanted to leave school but there is so called sercurity guard to guard the gate as we can only leave school only at 2pm! Argh.. stupid school rule.. it's noy as if we wil study during this 1 n a half hour la. All we do is to walk around the school n find how to escape from this 'prison' hai~... too bad a prison is hard to find an exit. Went home n sleep for 3 hours ... very shiok eh! did abit of math den now i'm online to think of how to make a birthday card for my angel... whose b'day is tml! I'm off to watch tv le! tata..

@de|ine= > feeling normal..

RaInInG dAy

Dear diary,

Good morning! It 7.50am now n the weather is rather cold cos it's raining!I'm in my tennis outfit cos will be going to sajc for a friendly soon. Hope the rain will stop den we can play :) Quite excited n nervous about it cos today is our last friendly plus sajc is also part of our grouping... so it's vital.Just msg grace that it's raining heavily den she replies that we stil have to go down n wait for the rain to stop. yupz... haven been sleeping for 9 hours le.. yesterday after tennis training, i went home.. bathe, wath tv n drop dead on my bed at 10 sharp. haha... this morning suddenly woke up by myself without the alarm clock at 7. If only, i can sleep so early everyday... i wun have to fall asleep in class or lectures. anyway. i got to get going cos we r meeting at 8.30am. good luck!!!

@de|ine=> fresh!

a 3 day weekend

Dear diary,

I'm still down wif my flu and cough... nevertheless i still go for my tennis trainings these few days. Yesterday, we are seperated into two teams. Mi n michelle were seperated so i partner Ice. Quite surprisely we were losing 3-1 to sim yee n xiang ying n yet recover to have a tie break with them n won 4-3 :)den we won again with 4-1. hmm.. luck is with us ba i guess.. first time partner still went quite smoothly. Went for tuition den wanted to change my tennis skorts to small but they no have small size le.. i wonder how to wear for tournament specially with the tennis ball in it.
Today, i did some work -chem tutorial n assignment 25 for math but i'm always stuck with math. On good friday, went out with law to study but i only study abit den keep disturbing him haha... sorry wor. He was stuck in one question den keep wanting to solve it. If i were him, i would have skip the qns...saw keng ee n mao in achorpoint.. so sweet. After studying, we went to this shop 'art frenzy'. My eyes were captivated by many wonderful art stuff. i bought some to make sth to my friends this coming apirl - my angel n my best pal... i tried doing it today but it fail so i guess i just make a simple one will do.
Apirl is coming n i'm not at least 1% confident tt i can do my a level well.

@de|ine=> once a solution came... another problem come along...

A day off

Dear diary,

I'm sick.. had chemistry test this morning. I hope i can pass.. cos i dunno if i really know how to do it anot. After that, i decided to go home n rest cos i dun think i can absorb any further for the day. Yesterday, i was mugging for my chemistry test in school cos i meet my angel to study together at 4. BUt i'm so sorry that i have to go home first cos i'm running a fever. Yupz.. will make it up to you ok? cheers... Took only half an hour of sleep den started to mug till 9 n watch tv for 45 minutes. I studied till 12.. the topic periodity is so difficult to memorised! I couild no longer take it so went to slp le.. wanted to wake up at 5 but i went to bed instead.
Today,i did practically nothing but just resting. went for my last chem tuition n it was boring cos it's about ionic eqm. dun understand a single thing. Wonder tml if i can skip pc anot.. but needa get mc leh. argh.. dislike go to the doctor, waste money only! tml going chinatown , hopefully is not a boring trip.

@de|ine => dizzy

NoThiNg iMPoRtAnT

DeaR dIaRY,

I din managed to say sorry to daddy personally cos i nv had the courage to do that but my parents never said anything to me about my handphone. Hopefully, this is a good sign. I hope that they dun think i take my handphone as for granted cos i'm really remorseful about it.I kept real quiet throughout the night since i reached home, really dunno what to do. The time noe is 8.38 in the morning... is just another brand new day n may it be a fine day :)

@de|ine => praying for a nice day

jUsT a baD bAd DaY!

dear diary,

i'm feeling down~ was feeling really good this morning though i were tired. had my tennis training.. n the sun is really scorching. Had a game with xiangying n sim yee.. had some great shots though mi n micheele lost but there were 2 sudden death! hmm.. after tennis, i went with michelle to meet her friend, wen jie. i dun wanna accompany her for lunch de.. but she pulled mi along cos she said i'll be eating alone den. I dun wanna follow cos they having fish n co la.. is like so ex n only have 10 bucks to spend. In the end, the guy paid but i will pay him back when i meet him in school. all of us din manage to finish the food coz it's a big serving. after that, we went to mac cafe to study.. saw lawrence but he nv see mi so nvm . the most uninteresting n worst thing that happen to mi is that i lost my handphone... we decided to watch a movie so went up to buy tickets for the show.. son of the mask? i think so la.. the show is abt 7 plus. as it was still early, my fren suggest to go to the arcade to play. n so we went... n sat down on this machine. i place my bag on the floor next to my seat... n started playing. I must be too engross in the game that i din realise my hp was stolen :( after the game den i was looing for my hp n b4 i knew it.. it was GONE! i walked back to find.. thot i dropped it. n saw this boy looking at mi ... he looks guilty! but i can't confront him cos no prooF! hai~... was really afraid but still i had to tell my dad about it. i din go for the movie n haven eat my dinner.. no mood to do anything. So i went home instead... felt so stupid. i keep thinking about it in the bus i tears just roll down. If only i were more careful den this wouldn't had happen. argh... i hate today. mum called michelle hp when we were walking in jp...n she like very frustrated la. she ask mi abt it.. den says u kids all so troublesome! korkor fell sick den ur sister was complaining about her hair n u said u lose ur hp! i was speechless... i'm really sorry about losing my hp n creating so much trouble for u , dad n mum... really sorry! well, the least i can do is to pay for my new handphone if only u allow mi to have another one. otherwise i'm fine with it cos i know it's my fault.

@de|ine => i wish today din happen at all...

cAn i DroP a tEaR?

Dear diary,
well, i dun feel like writing my fellings here today as i wanted to keep it more personally.. so just wanna say tt i learnt a number of lessons today. the most important lesson i learn is that life is unfair...

@de|ine => hidden fellings.

I waNnA B A NOTi gaL

Dear diary,

i dislike the life i m having now cos most of my time revolve around studies n more studying! LaSt saturaday was an interesting day .. in the morning my school have a carnival -Love Fiesta ||. My class sold cup corn n taiwan sauguages.. it sold pretty well. Within 3.5 hrs, we have finished selling the taiwan sauguages(300)- wanna thanks my classmates for being under the sun to bbq them. Hmm... i did henna , n had some glitter thingy on my hand as well as hair wrap which was not done pretty well but it's still nice. hee... i left for home to rest as i still have tuition at 4-6. After tuition, i went to meet elmo n guys cos it was elmo's birthday :) Being together with my secondary friends has always been wonderful. We had dinner at marina bay den initally they decided to go atch a movie but then it was boring. So ... shili, lyn they all suggest to go Party World which is a KTV. Hmm.. i was thinking if i should go or rather can i go? cos if i go , i will have to go home very late. Also , i dare not tell my mum. In the end, i went n told my mum that i will be home late. Had fun in the Ktv, it was my first time singing in a ktv cos i always dun dare to sing haha.. we sang birthday song n cut cake in the ktv. I was quite sleepy so fell asleep for a little while. lol... onli till 3 am den we left the place. When i was in the ltv, lots of thoughts went through my mind.. i really enjoyed myself over there. I wasn't thinking about school work nor any problems i have. it was truly a time i m who m i. the gal who enjoys music n want to lead a carefree life. But as the saying goes , all good things come to an end. I still have to face reality once it's over... took a cab home with thiratch, elmo n yuan xun. Met my brother , he was inside the pub n saw him through the glass. Haha... den i sms him not to tell mummy that i came home this late. Slept at around 4 am den woke up 12 the next day. It's just another school day - cos i hvae to do all my homework n stuff. As usual, i wasn't in the mood to do it. On monday, i can;t relly remeber what happen but know that i was studying for my economic ' game' the next day. Hai~ wanna say sorry to my team mate.. i score 0 during the game cos i onli get 1 right yet i got a yellow card! argh.. econ sucks.
Today, had an interesting lesson during chinese though i did fell asleep as usual but at least i remember the stuff i learn cos the lecturer was really lame n funny. During pc, we did 2 rounds of warm up den do abt 20 incline which i was bad at it haha.. n shutter run. lol.. my reaction very slow eh. haha... den we have to run 400m below 2 minutes - 2 set. It was very awkard cos the 1st round i really run quite fast but yet the timing is like 1.49 den the second got a condition -if nv run below 2m, will have to run an extra round. I guess sometime some stress is useful.. everyone was afraid cos we were really tired. Ah ha.. i ran despite feeling tired n the timing was better- 1.40. I felt elated! Today i felt so embarrassed cos i was about to alight the bus on my way home so i stood up in the bus. Suddenly, the bus brake n i was in an unstable condition n i went forward thus banging into this guy. it was so ... n i said sorry thrice. aiyo den went to cold storage with my mum... n saw some sale display items. I took one of the item den place it back but when i place it back, i accidentally knock another item which went down like a domanio( dunno how to spell). Lucky no one saw so i pick up those which fell onto the ground n place it nicely on the shelf.
Lazy to do any work today so decided to slack around - tml will have tennis training den as the class treasurer, i have to go n count how much profit my class made for the love fiesta. tml also need to study math cos i decide to take the math retest.

@de|ine =>... strength to carry on...

mY mInd Is CoLlpaSiNG

I feel ease in the morning till i met my schoolmate n my whole day is down... was attending chemistry lecture but my heart is not in there. Tears filled my eyes... all of a sudden my notes was wet. I sent a message to someone i trust... my mind kept thinking about what is happening n what should i do but to no avail. I tried to keep myself busy but i knew i can't escape from my thoughts.. i have no control. Y must this happen to me every alternate year? I have enough! During economics lesson, i wasn't able to answer a questionpost to me cos i wasn't at all listening in class.. Wanna apologise to melissa for not being a good listener today. I know how much u wan to do it but u just couldn't, but i feel helpless too cos i couldn't offer any thing to you. I feel touched my ur mum's action... just remember not to give up on the things that u strive. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for everyone around mi... melissa, zhan yu n mi myself (though i know the road is tough, but i still wish for the best to happen)

In the middle of a uncertain situation
There's no way to find what is happening
I wish upon the stars
That I could turn everything from wrong to right
Bringing me into the world i beloved.
I m sick... :(
Need a buoy urgently..
U r not me.. u dun understand how I feel.

ade|ine => collapsing

A bOrInG sAtUrDaY

Dear diary,

I'm lost... wandering in a world of mine. I do not know what m i thinking right now. I feel flustered about nothing. Had tennis training yesterday, I felt a bit down because I just could not hit the ball with speed... just couldn't do it. I dunno what is wrong n do not know what to do. I have no idea how does the system of inter school competition goes but hope my doubles can get in cos there is 3 doubles n onli 2 qualify but we will still be in the team. During tennis, we had a drill so each of us have to play 29 balls. For every ball out or missed, we will have to do 3 push ups. Lucky me , miss 6 out of 29 which is equal to 18 push up. My serve still sucks... gotta buck up le. After tennis training, i meet my cousin to go my second aunt hse to bai nian... end up sleeping cos i were too tired. ANyway, my parents left at around 10 plus n they send both my cousins home. They wanted to send mi home too but they were late for a party in their fren hse.. so on the way to send my cousin home, there was a traffic light ( red light). JUst nice, beside there is a taxi.. my dad saw no one so he scroll down his window n wanted the uncle to stop in front so that i can take taxi home. I turned n was shocked! Cos my dad says there was nobody in the car den i turn and look. A girl with big eyes staring at me.., at that moment i really got scared.. cos she is dark with long hair n big eyes. Den my dad saw the girl n quickly scrolled up his window. Though i was terrify but it was quite funny... as the uncle look at my father as if he was drunk. End up i took another taxi home, took a bath , go online n sleep at around 12 plus. Onli to wake up near 11 this morning but soon after lunch i fell asleep at 2. Gone for tuition n only home at 6 plus.. so i slack all the while till now den wanna take my math to study but also cannot understand! So come online to blog... just now i were waching tv. saw westlife concert!!! Suddenly a impossible thought came in but i'll not say here. is a secret... lol. tml will be playing tennis .. yea! so happy... i wish i have as much pasion for tennis in my studies too .. jia you!

@de|ine => work harder..

MelissA n Mi!  

Shopping Spree...

Dear Diary,

Spend most of time today with melissa in town on a shopping spree. PLay tennis this morning n feels quite nice hee.. Took a free ride form melissa's parents down to far east. Hmm.. we reached there about 2 ba den go shop at far east first. Less than 15 minutes, we bought ourselves a sleveless shirt which cost $9.90 but when i reached home, it's abit small lor. hai~ so next time dun buy unless u had tried it. Anyway, we continued walking shop after shop n finally we were at the 1st level. N i bought a dark green dress ($39.90)though it was rather nice :P i like it! Hmm.. we walk n see n realise we had spend 2 hours in far east but nevertheless we did not forget to take neoprint which i'll be update it soon. Finally, we walk out of far east n go to wisma. went to help wenda check out a sandal, den melissa look around n found a white polor T. We decided to walk to taka but b4 that went to ebase n there we saw a few nice top. she took one n tried it.. since she is feeling rich haha.. there goes her 3rd top today. I like her top but not that cheap as i had spend almost 40 on my dress. our 3rd destination is taka but looks like there isn't much to see so we were off to our 4th - Hereen. Ah ha.. went the shop which my sister recommanded n bought another top which is green n purple something like ebase design. Melissa's big eyes caught something again.. hmm we try it n bought haha. Met rowena n her mum in the shop too buying some clothes as well. feel quite bad that we never ask rowena along.. after that melissa says enough le .. she had spent $87 bucks on 4 clothes. actually is ok la.. on average is $20 plus each.. ya. On the other hand i spend $80 on 3 tops .. wa, shopping for so long quite shiok eh. again.. we can't reisit the temptation n took another neoprint which i think is great. All good things must come to the end... her boyfren came den I went home n ate the ikea hotdog. Yummy.. yummy! Resting at home now.. waiting for tml lesson den free le on tuesday till thursday. New Year coming!! Sure gain weight de... korkor go back camp le. Hai~ he became thinner.. wonder what they do to the army boys inside...

What a down day!

Dear Diary,

The 1st two periods in school, i spend my time figuring out answers for those alien chemistry questions. Finally a hour of test, I feel quite relief that it's over but i felt upset cos i really put in effort to study but things just turn out in a negative manner. During economics lessons, i fail my duty as a student to do my homework thus got punished by standing up i the class. My first time... i have never got punished for not doing homework. I feel so disappointed with myself. Today is CCA day , n i had my tennis training today. Fell down n hurt my knee.. is abit painful but i'm alright la. All of a sudden, there's a heavy rain so we have to rush to pick up all the precious tennis balls which lead to a headache on my 1 hour journey ride home. Just cannot stand the pain... went to queensway with a a few tennis friends den head home. Fell asleep while watching tv.. n woke up with my legs numb. Once again, i felt twice within a day but this time hurt more of my injured knee. Gosh, is like 'ouch' n i spilled a glass of water on the table. dunno what happen today also.. hopefully tml will be a better day!korkor coming home tml le.. hee, scare to see him cos he might be more fit den will bully us again. haha.. tml also got dental appointment in the morning. n tuition in the afternoon evening time. looking forward to sunday for tennisn n shopping spree with my close sister - meliss haha..

@de|ine=> sleepy *yawn*