Home sweet home

2nd May 2006

Dear diary,

Arrive on this sunny n small island at 5.10am. Weather is pretty warm with my long sleeves. A long flight of 18 hours - movies, food n music.

A month has flew past me before I could even turn back to catch a breath.
Disneyland... seems to be so far away when I was a child. It don't even exists as a place in my mind. All along I thot it is a lala land-something like paradise.

I have fufilled my wishes to be a 'teacher', to go Usa... n the next to come shall be my driving lisence. I'm pretty worry about that truthfully.

Had good news from Ntu. Finally, the day when I dun have to worry about anything has arrived. It feels really good =)















It is made of glass... nice strawberry cake.

freezing till my hands are numb!

what a big pizza! 18 inch

hello mr bush! kn0ck knock

looking for liberty?

Cherry blossom..

does it look like it is taken from the 86th storey?
Standing in the Empire building...

Pasta! Creamy n yummy

King kong is in North Carolina...

Astonishing! Cinderella Castle

Guess who's house is this?


Minnie!



Cinderella carriage






Yupz.. these are some of my pictures taken in Usa!
Jetlag... gosh. my head keeps spinning like it will nv end.

@deine=> i'm stuck again!

Memories

26th April'2006

Dear diary,

Happy 19th Birthday Melissa!!! Haha.. can call auntie meli le.
Lol, kidding!
I don't want to turn 19! 18 is the best age. Turning 18 is the best year for me. It is this year that I really knwo what is life is all about. It is about learning , working , enjoying and most importantly I learn to make my first decision - an impt decision.

Just read through many of my frens blog for the past few hours. Some make me feel like laughing, some touches me while others make me feel close to them. I aspire to write beautiful words like some of them but i always fail to do so. I guess everyone has their own writing style. N i hope, mine is not boring.( cross my fingers)

This trip is coming near to an end. It shall be my most memoriable among all. Though I can still rmb how much I enjoy myself in Australia 1 year plus ago. With friends, u tend to feel more comfortable n fun!

Yesterday night, I called David n managed to chat with him for maybe abt half n hour or so. Feels weird to hear his voice cos i practically cannot rmb them. He is stuyding chinese in the usa. n Honestly, i felt ashamed of myself. Cos somehow i feel that my mandarin is lousy. Been 2 years since i study chinese.
Last night, I couldn't get to sleep. I was thinking about what m I suppose to do when i am back in Singapore. I wanna work. I do not want to laze around n get no income. hee.. sounds like i cannot live without money. Relief teaching don't appeal to me anymore. Also it is exam period, i dun think the sch will need any relief teachers too. Feel like doing something really fun as a job but i can't think of anything. hmm.. sales , waitress do not seems fun anymore too. Take one step at a time ba :)
The waitress here really earn alot! Heard from david as a waiter which is his part time job.. he earns $12 an hour plus $100 tips each day. Gosh.. that is like 3000 bucks a month , just the tips alone! Wa... i was thinking if i can ask the restuarant to hire mi just for a day will be enough le before i go back singapore.

4 more days to go... what will i miss? Gonna miss the fresh foods here ( everything here is really very fresh!) , disneyland, the do n wear what i want feeling, the weather...
Going back to singapore make mi feel like I'm going to another country again. haha due to the surroundings n weather difference.

Yesterday i went to the supermarket n bought pounds of chocolate which can last me for a year or more! The cashier must be wondering what is this girl trying to do? is she falling out of love? or is she starving? lol... i took a pic of the ice cream they sold here. they measure by gallon. can u imagine how big that is? Niagara Falls has more than 1 billion gallons of water each day. alright.. out of point here.

I gain more knowledge n really had a taste of how american lives are over here. I love their houses too... cosy n nice. Just a pity that i cannot get a look of how colleges are over here. Hopefully when i get to university, i can get a chance to go for exchange programme :)

Need to have lunch now! Will be going to the factory outlet again later. More shopping to come haha...

@deine=> a moment to remember

Florida

24 April'2006

Dear diary,

I just reach home ( new jersey) from Florida. It's a long trip.. we drove past 6 to 7 states.
Disneyland is just AWESOME!!! It is made up of 5 theme parks but i only went 4 of them namely The Magical Kingdom, Ecpot, Animal Kingdom and Disney MGM Studio.
I love Magical Kingdom as everything inside is really magical! So beautiful!!! Saw mickey n minnie house. So sweet. I took lots of pic of Cinderella castle. The fireworks at 10pm is just 'Amazing' The parade is wonderful. Got a glance at all the characters!
Ecpot is the most boring yet interesting theme park for both of us. There is not much of thrillng rides but what makes it interesting is ivis n I lost each other in ecpot. All the theme park is full of people n huge. It would be a miracle if we fouNd each other. But i spend almost 3 hours looking for her everywhere. Which means 3 hours shortage of time for mi to complete ecpot. The worst thing is my bag is with her, i have no money, nothing expect for my camera! Poor me... went without food for a day! In Ecpot, u get to walk around the different countries like France, Italy, Japan, China... n i different country, they sell their local dishes. N everytime i walk past, i feel so hungry! At that moment, i feel so angry n hungry that i left my bag with Ivis. As i have no money!!! Argh.. that kinda feeling - i just hate it!

The Animal Kingdom- I get to see all kind of animals during the train ride. It's been long since i went to Singapore Zoo so everything i see seems new to me. It was getting more n more exciting the rides. I took my first n thrilling roller coaster in my entire life. Expedition Everest-Legend of the Foridden Mountain. Sounds cool ya? Yupz, the ride is as cool as it sounds! I even bought the photo taken during the ride cos my face looks damn funny! N the boy in front of me looks even worst, as if he saw a monster!

The Arabians Night - this is a presentation cum dinner on Wednesday. I enjoyed the show very much. It features horses, princess. Gosh, whenever i see those beautiful princessess in their costumes. They look gorgeous! Dreaming to be like them someday though it is impossible.

Disney-MGM Studios - this is the best of all. The shows, the rides are beyonds words. Went on Rock'n' Roller Coaster Starring Aerosmith. Woo.. it has one turn which shocked mi but makes me feel great. Went for all the show such as the car stunt where they show you how movies that involves fast cars are being shoot. also the one in Pearl Habour- those air craft n ship with water... now i know!

The day i went to Sea world. Feeling realy tired after 4 days in disneyland but still i paid for the tickets to go Sea World so no matter how tired I am, I must still go n enjoy. Only two rides which I didn't had the energy nor want to go n play it. However I was wet during one of the sow -Shamu. Shamu is an enormous killer whale. N he splashed water , making me look like I'm taking a shower. Phew- n it did woke me up cos i fell asleep as i was feeling really tired. I love all the shows especially the one with my fav animal -Dolphins! They are cute, friendly n lovely!

On our trip home, it was the funniest n most memorial day I ever had. We chat in the car talking about those times when we were younger. N the most exciting part is our meals! Haha... we went over to Lone Star for dinner. They are famous for their steak. Ivis n I ordered Fillet Steak. Both of us ordered flavoured ice tea too. The waitress that served us , she looked so nervous n her reaction is rather slow. Soon came along our drinks which we tasted it n find it weird. No strawberry nor passion fruit taste. So we asked for a return. Then she said no more flavours! We were like ' What!' no more n she didn't tell us at all... n here comes the manager who told us it was her first day n we had our strawberry n peach ice tea. Hmm.. it tastes really better. After a long time, she took our orders. She came over twice n asked us what size do we want for the steak n the 2nd time she asked us what kind of soup do we want. Without having any idea what soup they serve, we asked her. Choice 1 - Black bean Choice 2 - Chicken Pot Pie Soup ( n i heard chicken pop corn soup, our faces went huh?) Choice 3 - steak soup. That's when Ivis n I begun laughing non- stop. lol.. what steak soup? we went for the chicken one n then went to take the menu to check it out. Indeed there is the steak soup. The waitress must be wondering what's so funny when she is having such a hard time. The other table that she served, left without finishing their meals n gave only $1 tip. Just when our soup arrive, our main dish arrive too. Karl was angry cos he mentioned not to bring out the dishes when we are having our soup. He asked for the manager. We aslso realised that our steak is cooked n not medium rare! Uh-oh... both our meals were send back. I guess she got a scolding or she is really upset cos she came over n apologised n i realised her eyes are red. I feel sorry.
The manager was funny! We didn't drink much of our ice tea as we are afraid we will be too full to finished up our meals n he thot we didn't like it n wanted to make a new one for us. Ivis asked if it was free? he said ya cos karl is paying for it. But when he served us our main dish, he said you know what? You were asking if the drinks were free? Now I gonna tell you everything you ordered is free! Woo.. haha even the deserts are free too. Lol, where can u find such a good service in Singapore? The steak cost $18, my ice tea i think it should cost around$5 n my brownies maybe ard $8. $31 excluding tax for free ( 2 times cos ivis had the same too) Initally karl didn't want to gif tips due to bad service now with such a wonderful treat. He gave $7 tips. Whaha.. that waitress is so lucky! As for me, i had my fill. damn full!

On sunday, we went to the waffle house to have our breakfast. Yummy! By the afternoon - home sweet home!

I just had three slice of chocolate vanilla cake. Gosh.. i just cannot resist the temptation! tml , we will be going to the mall, on wednesday back to the factory outlet. N one more day to the supermarket!

5 more days to go!

@deine=>i feel fat. n i really am fat.

Movie

13th April 2006

Dear diary,

The day before, i went to new york city again. This time we visited the liberty island - that's where the statue of liberty is. Also, we went to the Empire State building- that's where king kong went up in the movie. We went up till the 86th storey.. n wow. U really could see how big it is over here. Speechless! N the buildings dun look very small cos they are rather tall. Nice view up there...

Yesterday I had fun shopping with my cousin at the factory outlet. Bought 7 clothings for my family as well as me. We shopped from 11 till 5.30. Went in to a few shops twice due to some cheap deals. However because of the cheap stuffs, i ended up buying n spending more.

Today we went to the cinema... my cousin n I watched She's the man. Is a nice movie.. i love it. How i wish i can meet a guy like the actor in the movie. Both character n looks. I prefer the cinema in singapore cos the seats are nicer n more comfortable. In the USA, it's free seating...

Tomorrow morning we will be heading down to Florida. Oh.. i can't wait to go into the magical land -disneyland! Though this morning i was feeling really bad cos something just happen. But now, i feel better already. So won't be blogging for the next few days unless i get access to the internet n if i have the time.

@deine=> somethings are not meant to turn the way i want it to be

Home

10th April 2006

Dear diary,

HOME
I love home.
Spoilt
yes, most singapore kids are spoilt. I am one of them.
Fun
I love having fun... who don't?
Hate
I hate begin misunderstood. I am a typical scorpio, i bear grudges but i won't revenge unless provoked too many times.
Shopping
Jus like any other girls, I love shopping n i could shop the whole day long!
Decision
I am indecisive. Do not ask me to make decisions cos i suck at it.
Dream
I dream alot.. n i will dream forever. Dreams are always beautiful. The real world ain beautiful.
Friends
I love having lots of friends around me. They are the ones who will be there for me up and down. The ones who hear me complain about anything under the sun. The ones who share my happiness when my wishes come true. They are whom I turned to just when i felt tears in my eyes. You guys just rocked my world upside down!
Family
Happy family! Nothing more i could wished for...

@deine=> i m not happy!

I have changed my post on this trip to http://adelphinadv.blogspot.com/

Photos in Altantic City - new jersey

Took it on our way home. That's Altantic city - the casino in New Jersey


Behind us is Tai Majal( one of the casino there) Owned by Trump - one of the billionaires around)



Took it by the beach.


This is the Rainforest cafe.


The elephants - they r noisy!

The sky of the cafe- they changes constantly. I love them cos they shines!

3rd day

2nd April 2006
8.08pm(usa)

Dear diary,
I just reached home from Alantic City = the hometown casino. I have nv been to the casion b4, now i now what's it's like. It's really huge... I played! N i lost! whaha... 5 cents n 1cents machines. i lost $2.65. No beginner's luck =( Anyway, the scenary there are beautiful! we walked for hours but it's nv tiring unlike singapore. Big sun but cooling weather! U just have to had ur sunglasses on. We had lunch in the rainforest cafe. It's really cool in there. We have te gorillas, the elephant with stars on the ceiling. Every 15 minutes, the weather in there changes - u will have thunderstorms. n the elephants made a bunch of noises! I had wraps.. they are large i think two to three times of the poh pian in singapore! the fries here are tasty! big n long n not so salty...
Yesterday , we went to the new york city. I saw the Brooklyn brige - it's very long. I love the view... looks like those i saw in the movies.Then we have the Manhatten bridge just behind it as well as the William Burge bridge. These bridges were named after the city that you are going to. Which means tt if u r on the Brooklyn bridge, it links u to Brooklyn. Went to Chinatown there..not much of chinese afterall cos hardly anyone speaks chinese. Most of them come from mainland. Karl says that the chinese don't hang around cos they are lazy to learn the eng language so they often stays around together. This explains why chinatown is growing.. on the other hand Italy now becomes Little Italy. Everything here is expensive! The parking lot for 5 hours cost over $20. Every meal we had cost around 70 bucks. N they dun cook, everyone eats out. Luckily I'm not staying in the usa, cos i will be very broke! It's a tip country... every meal u have to give them 10% of tips cos they don't have service charge. I took the subway ytd in new york city. It's rather old n i don't like the smell cos there's no rules here. U can eat in the subway too. But u won't see any chewing gums around cos pple here dun really eat them. I have my high tea in one of the snacks stall in Chinatown. Wow... they really know how to enjoy their meals! I took photos of my cakes- all chocolate n yummy! Everything here is huge - the people, the drinks, the food even the rubbish bins! All the buildings in nyc have an average of 40 storey. U get to see different kinda people in nyc n nobody cares! In a day, there are about 18 million people in nyc. Can u imagine?
It's only three days n i thot i was here for a week already. Cos i woke up at 4in the morning n slp at 7pm ... i just couldn't get used to the time. Today is better.. now is 8.30pm n i still do not feel sleepy. :)
Something interesting happen during lunch. Ivis was eating n she tried to eat one of the 'food' on her plate. It was a decoration n it looks like a vegetable so she thot ' hmm new vegetable, gonna try it.' After she tastes it, marina stops her n told her she wonder if it was food cos she nv see b4. So, she stops.. on our way to another casino. We say a plant n it looks exactly like the ones she ate them. So it was a flower that they jus pluck it n place it on her dish. Way to go ivis! not a new vegetable :)
Maybe later i can post some pictures cos marina bought her camera with her today.

@deine=> more pounds!

USA

31thMarch
7.50pm

Dear diary,
I'n in the USA now! After 17 hrs plus of flight, i finally reach here! It's so bored in the plane n i can't get a single wink.. watched 5 movies.. n listen to songs. Hmm... the weather is rather cold for me as a singaporean but very nice weather for the amercians. haha... n their food servings are damn big. It's 6.52am now. 5 degree outside now. Brrr. i guess i will shiver later lol. Anyway, i can't got to go hotmail messenger. So most prob i will blog more often. Going to do shopping later. hee...

@deine=> dream into reality...

Confession time!

29th March' 2006

Dear diary,
On monday, I was feeling kinda down. My head is feeling so heavy... I didn't know what to do. Felt like crying. Went to qwss to return the access card , went mac. Den went to meet rowena at orchard mrt station. Dinner time, i don't have the appetite to eat so order only dao suan. We bought the chesse stick in taka.. it really tastes yummy! Talk and walk at the same time to the most beautiful place i find in singapore.
A place where I belong.
The moment I step in, I felt I was in space.
Dark... sparkling lights all over.
Tranquility. Magnificent.
Sitting down, admiring the scenary.
Thoughts came running down the pathway.
I've so much to say yet I was lost of words.
Where to begin?
The conversation about our life.
U realised u've really grown.. the changes you have made.
The time u realise u have to make ur own decision.
From laughters till tears, we faced it all.

Had a wish fufilled. That is to go back to qwss once before i leave singapore. Stayed in school till 3pm cos I had to help Mr Wong to invigilate 301 for math test. Hee, had a free ride home from Mr Chai. Thanks!!! Yupz, i will enjoy my trip there. I shall try to blog if i can n upload the photos :)

Today, I have to pack my lugage n going off to smu to give my documents. Hmm, will be meeting melissa tonight. Gal, u r so sweet! See ya ...

@deine=> I'll fly away... leave all this to yesterday

MARC in east coast park!

26th March'2006

Dear diary,

Yesterday was realli fun with meli, row n cheryl! We meet at 9.30 at commonwealth station ande everyoe was late though I was the first to reach at 9.35. Meli next followed by cheryl n rowena. Hehe, by the time we were sitting i the bus is ard 10.15am. Reached east coast park n grab some foods in macdonalds. At 12pm, we went to rent the rollerblades and bicycle. Omg, the rental for the rollerblades are damn expensive la. 1st hour - $10 follow by $7 for every addition hour. The rental for the bicycles are alright $5 for every hour and free half an hour. We rented two rollerblades and two bicycles so that we can take turns later.
Cheryl and I went on with our rollerblades first while rowena n meli with their bicycles. Poor Cheryl , she keep falling down countless of times. Fall down too many times that she complain her butts hurts. hee, cheryl, next time won't fall down le cos u already know how to blade le! We took photos on our way to the bedok jetty. Shall post a few later. Hmm, rollerblading can be really tiring cos I kept perspiring and my thighs is aching. lazy to blade after a while but it is a good exercise! After an hour, we finally reached the jetty and exchange our weapons. Initally meli n rowena were afraid of the blading but i think they did perfectly ok! On the other hand... my bike couldn't move cos the front wheel cannot move! Thank for this guy who is very helpful and came over to help mi. Hee.. nice guy! We hurry off before we have to pay another extra $7 for the blades! Stop over at the hawker to buy drinks... the trip back was faster. I love the weather n this trip is so fruitful for us :) Just at this point of time when we reached the shops, it started to rain! Phew... luckily for us, we are leaving. Actually we could have waited for the rain to stop and went over to the beach n chit chat while enjoying the sea view. But we left.. i wonder why too. Soon after we left n took a bus to PS.

On our way there, we suddenly think of so many ideas of where to go the next time. These includes a day to eat all the nice deserts in singapore. Haha, so far only can think of one which is the tang yuan in chinatown. Yummy! another outing to sentosa - to play erm sth like open air cablecar n the large ride? Of cos, we must go east coast again!

We were feeling hungry n wanted to grab something light cos it was 3 plus. Walked into secret receipe , sat down with the menu with our hands den we decided to go to cafe cartel. So pai seh.. we hurry off n the waiteress was looking at us with the look 'huh?' Haha.. nv say aything we walked off. In cafe cartel, oo i think we are really gonna grow horizontally! Ordered 4 cakes - 2 chesse n 2 chocolate with a chicken n mushroom maroni. Sinful but yummy! esp the chocolate cakes. Tastes so good!

After 'high tea' we walk our way to cinileisure... hmm on the way there we went in to some shops , try on sunglasses. I feel that wearing beach shorts n a razor back to orchard is a very free easy feeling. unlike the usual time when we always nice nice nice to go town. but it will be weird if u wear like this alone. I left shortly after we reach cini cos need to rush home to have dinner with my family.

Had dinner with kor gf too in chinatown. den walk walk ard chinatown n off to town again with my family to ck tang. Cos it opened till 12 mdnight yesterday. Saw a levis jeans damn nice la with crystrals on it n it costs near $200. Wondering how rich is the levis boss! Reached home was rather late le...

I enjoyed today really very much. Had an urge to buy roller blades and go blading more often! It's so fun!


















@deine=> i want more!

Nothing to do!

24th March' 2006

Dear diary,
Been slacking since yesterday. I rejected Hss for yesterday and today. Very tired... handling those bunch of kids is just TIRING! I think I someone who cannot do something for long. I get sick of the same thing easily.

These few days I had been busy with my university application. Have to do those essays! So long since i wrote an essay. I think have problems with my phrasing.

This week, I have been a good girl. Never go out with my friends. Today gonna be a busy day. I have to go to lavender to get my passport done den off to the travel agency to pay for my air tickets. By the way, I have no choice but only to get the direct flight to newark cos it's nearer to my aunt house. I have decided not to go to hong kong as I spend too much on my trip in Usa. Nvm, hong kong is so much nearer , i guess I will get to chance to go in the future :)
Hmm.. then i have to go to the bank to withdraw money as well as ask about the use of my card overseas. Busy...

I'm rather excited about tml! Going to east coast park with my jc frens to rollerblading, cycling and sun tanning! Haha.. so long since i went to the beach. Must remember to bring the camera along!

Alright! gotta get ready for the long day.... need to pack my lugguage too.

@deine=> 7 days

School starts

21th March' 2006

Dear diary,
School has begun n i'm in hss for relief the 1st three days. Students in hss are really getting form bad to worst- nothing more to say. Begin a teacher is really not easy, u have to withstand all kinds of attitudes which sucks. Luckily I weren't rush to apply for the teaching awards scholarship.

Yesterday, I went for my pri school class gathering with my form teacher. Saw faces that are rather unfamiliar. Wasn't that close to my classmates cos I was a transferred student. Hmm but still happy :) had dinner at seoul garden in marina square den went to walk walk at the esplande.



Hopefully i can go back qwss once before i leave singapore. All of a sudden i kinda of scare. It will be the 1st time i will be away from singapore n my family for a month or more. I hope I wun have home sick. E mail david in the states.. i think quite difficult to meet him up cos he has to drive for 2 days. Nvm, can call him up when i'm in the states.

Went for lunch n library with yong shen today after school. The lib is a very conducive environment to read, slp n relax! We left ard at 4 plus den went to ikea for a while.

@deine=> sick n tired

pictures

15thMarch 2006

Happiest days in my life

15th March ' 2006

Dear diary,
It's a family day today! Though my youngest sister is not at home, still i enjoy the time spent with my parents, brother and sister. I went out with my parents n sister for lunch , shopping n back to daddy's work place. Follow dad to check my air ticket- the one which has to transit in thailand is still in waitig list n it's cheaper! If really can't get it, den we will go for the sq- direct flight to new york which is $2368. omg, i wish somebody can back out at the last minute so that both of us can have the cheaper flight.
Hmm.. dinner time is the one of the best times n i really enjoyed it. Daddy.. he is so mischieveous! n he is damn funny! Korkor was telling us his quarrel with his gf during dinner n dad keep giving silly yet make sense answers that all of us can't stop laughing. cindy n i almost spit out our drinks. We were discussing about relationships - friends, love... it's interesting to hear different views. From people who are married - my parents, the one who has a gf - my bro, both young n single - myself n sister .. all of us has different opinions. My parents said on days when they quarrel, both of them will settle it before they sleep. But usually mum will just go over to my room. Dad says there is where the phone come useful. He will call mum, ' eh, come over. we talk.' Only when they settle , both of them den can sleep.. no wonder. This explains y they quarrel n the next day they are always so loving again. haha.. with dad around, he really never fails to bring laughter to me. Partnered with him on monday in tennis, he kept joke around that i have no strength to hit the ball! But he still encourages me to try my best :)

Cynthis went to sentosa today... n she looks like a crab! so red...



@deine=> loves her family!

Travelling!

12th March'2006

Dear diary,

This weekend has been going out to town.. n doing nothing! I had tuition today in kian tian road.. a pri 4 boy. My boy is alright... just lazy. The problem arise cos my aunt has confirmed that she will be in usa the whole april. And my cousin n I have decided to go either on this 30th or 31th march! Will be there for at least a month... den once i come back, i will be flying to hong kong with elmo. Woo... aunt maria says she has booked tickets to florida n will be bringing us to the disneyland over there. Haha.. so excited cos i will be going to hk disneyland too :) But but... how m i going to tell his mum about it? A month plus is very long... i already found someone to replce me but haven tell his mum about it. Cos if i nv complete the one month, i will have to compensate the tuition agency which i dun wan to. Wondering what should i tell her tml... feel so bad. I think i really gave her a bad impression about me. How??? Hmm.. going overseas means saving more money now n will be very broke after the trips.
Feel so tired after these two days.. relief teaching on fri, go out with parents, go out with cheryl n rowena. Then sat went to eat lunch with my family, teach tuition, ntu open house, out to town with rowena. Yawning* sleepy.. no tennis again. going nus tml.
Right now, choosing course is more important.. i just can't decide what i want!

@deine

Art day

9th March'2006

Dear diary,
Been spending the whole day in the art room in hss. No art teachers around... Imgaine me spending 6hrs in the art room.. doing nothing n get paid. Well, i did some drawings too - bugs bunny n mickey mouse.


Mickey!

Only manage to shade the head.

the bunny that Irvine drew - cute right?



The other animals he n ze qian drew... see that female piggy? haha

Basically, today i just did nothing! Hee.. din knew i could draw!

@deine = > contented

It's pay day!

8th March'2006

Dear diary,
Today is pay day! Yupz.. for last month relief teaching. Hmm.. today i went back to qwss again. It's like 2 weeks since i been there. The students there are so nice :) Had no problems with the upper secondary at all - sec 4 classes. Had 4 sec 4 classes, wonderful! Suppose to have test for two classes but the test papers for 405 seems missing. So no test which is good for me as well, cos examine test is like a so boring n sleepy task. Ended up talking with the students in 405, only one or two whom are more familiar to me. Recess time i have a group of gals who asked surounded me and refuse to let me go up to grab my stuffs to go for another class! They were telling me how bad their english teacher is, how he scolds them and ask me to help them ask for a change of teacher. Had to agree otherwise i will be late for lessons! They followed me all around till i reaches their classroom n send them in. Dotz.. 14 years old le! Hmm this reminds mi of the two secondary 1 boys i meet in hss. They are damn cute!!! Haha, so innocent looking. had the baby faces. How i wish i can have a photo of them... so cute lor! One of them - Irvine, drew animals for mi. The bunny.. very nice!
After school, i went with the sec 3 to watch soccer final match - queensway vs st gab. Well done boys! They won, 5-2. Kinda miss sch days i think that's why i'm enjoying myself so much in school. Just that my status is changed but still i can't change the habit of calling my colleages teachers.After all they look older than mi. Very tired... reached home only near 8pm.
Finally had a tuition assignment! Pri 4, this sat. Hope things goes well. Hmm today two tuition agency called mi up but i din picked up one of them cos i were having lessons. It's ok! Hopefully this tuition goes well... So long nv teach primary school kid before le. Can't rmb how to draw model for mathematics. Shall drop by the popular tomorrow to read up.
So tired! Going to sleep soon.

@deine=> a fruitful day =)

7th March' 2006


Taken on friday ...


Sunday...

Hopefully, by next week we ( jain n mi) can book the tickets to hong kong for a week in may! haha very excited! First trip with a friend overseas. Hmm a few days ago, i just e mail aunt maria to ask if she is in Usa now. Cos i feel like travelling alone there to find her since now i have the time. But she haven reply me so i think she is in other countries ba. Travelling is fun... able to meet people from all over the world. Learn some languages that u r unfamiliar with - that is cantonese when i go to hong kong :") Go shopping! Can't wait to get out of singapore! Cruise, camping, backpacking...

Feel like have a change of job. But the most i can work for is only a month n a half if the trip is confirmed. Applied to be an event officer on last sat. Hopefully, they will call mi soon. Still pondering what course to study...

@deine=> time to catch up with you...

Friendship

6thMarch' 2006

Dear diary,

Had a sudden urge to blog about my friendships after reading someone else blog. I were thinking about true friends. The definition about true friend... what does it takes to be a true friend? I don't know. Every now and then, i meet friends from all over. In secondary i have vanessa, lyn, shili, fang lay, kc, roger, elmo, denis, alison,... many. But who is the one that I turn to when i feel down, feel like going out with, who to go out with. I find myself having difficulty. I admire some friends of mine who still are able to hang out with their close friends in secondary school. Not that they are uncontactable but the feeling is different. Just didn't have that one person whom i can tell everything to. As in.. when i want to talk to someone, i dun recall having to think of any special person. Most of the time, i would take my hp and scroll down, searching.
In jc, i met really good frens - melissa,michelle, cheryl ( my pw gals) n others as well. After jc life, everything seems to change. M i gonna lose them? Everytime i will only go out with one of them, there isn't a time when i can go out as a group. Talk everything under the sun... Somehow, we just didn't click? Don't know... i really don't know. Or izzit i think too deep into matters?


@de|ine = > friends = ?

5th March'2006


what happen is the question that crossed my mind when i saw you. I wonder.... any answer?

Gloomy Day

28th Feb'06

Dear diary,
It's jus a day before i reached my doom day. My blood is gushing out every now and then... nothing can stop me from worrying. Don't really know if I had really given out everything in the past 2 years but i know.. for the last 6 months. Things wasn't easy for me. Since june holiday, i spend every single day studying though there are days i really wanna give up. Still i struggle myself through hoping someday something will prove to me all i did is worthwhile. Showing mi that giving up is the last resort i should take. Coping in the library from morning to night is like such a pleasure and kinda routine for mi. Every night walking pass NTUC, queenstown MRT station, Queens condo, the hawker centre , shell and caltex station to my house gate. This short distance of 15 minutes walk everyday helps to keep my memory alive. Recap what i have been doing on the day itself. I dunno what other people might say but i know how much i wanted to do well in this exam. Perhaps to others, this 6 months is not enough to do well but to me, i really give in all i have. Days when I just couldn't sleep cos i felt guilty of not studying enough thus, spend my night studying without a wink of sleep. Stress something i can never cope with yet i have to face it more than often from family, friends n definitely from myself. Can't imagine what i will do if i didn't do well. For all i know, i already screw up my gp paper which is like drawing the death sentence. Though i know i already did badly but somehow i feel that i will still cry if i fail my gp just like what i did after that horrible paper 1. Tomorrow thing isn't all about mi but my parents. I really dun wanna disappoint them but after my papers, i felt like it doesn't matter if i disappoint them cos i already did. ( just did't mention anythingy) Perhaps exam luck is just not with me everytime. From PSLE to O level n now to A level. Hurdle after hurdle... i nv get to where i wanna go. For me, crying is the only way i make myself feel better. The 2 weeks of A level, my family and friends saw how much tears coming from me. That kind of feeling nobody will wanna experience. It's so painful yet u feel so helpless. It's like standing in the court waiting to be sentence.. regret over what u have done. U wish u can turn back time. 'If' always appear at this moment of time... A level is a nightmare, yes i do agree. Suddenly everything seems so clear to me. How i couldn't get to sleep the day before chem paper 3. How i felt when i couldn't solve the math questions which i could while revising. How many times i asked myself is this the answer for that particular econ question n yet i still got it wrong. How i panic during my econ paper 1 and gp paper 1. Gosh... i must have did damn badly after this reflection. I wanna go have a break tonight... anywhere to keep this out of my mind. Anyone happens to read this, if u have the same feeling, u r not alone. Where can i go, who can i go with? Feel like running away to heaven to tell them to stop the time. I dun wan tomorrow to come. Hoping something will happen to me den i wun be able to know what happen tmr. Shall off my hp tmr cos no matter how many good luck n all the best u receive doesn't not make a difference.
All of a sudden, someone just came popping along my mind that is u- my hao jie mei ( if u know who u r) U r working right now haha. This 'holiday' i'm thankful to have u accompanying me. Been going out with you n really enjoy those times though we spend money like it's free. But happy is all i need n i've got it. Ya, indeed we've spent endless hours engaged in conversation about ' nothing' and ' everything' n I wouldn't trade those times for anything in the world. U rawk gal! Love ya lots =)


After the talk to a friend yesterday night, I felt that i did not do a great job at work. I kinda dislike my character sometimes, m i too easy going? I just wanna be nice to everyone i meet... but in reality, everyone says the working world is cruel. People just say things u dun wanna hear. Being good is also a crime.. zhuo ren hen xi ku eh. The standard advice is always ' ignore what other people say' Is not easy... that y certain things the more u dun know the better it is for you. Sometimes i really wanna ask people around mi their point of view about me to find out more about me. Do i really know myself that well? i *ponder*

Yesterday, went to watch basketball match at the old smu with denis. qwss against ntss... hmm qwss lost. Wanted to go over to tell them dun be upset but i thought about it, it's better to not say anything. Cos i know how it feels after u lost in a competition n no matter what others say u wun listen. U only know that it's finished, wanna be alone that's all. So i left quietly with denis, we went to marina square to watched - rumour has it. The show is nice. omg, jennifer aniston has a fabulous figure la. I love her hair! so straight, silky n nice! Hmm there are some parts where there are tears welled up. What makes mi flustered is my coughing! Cannot really concentrate cos i keep coughing, feel quite bu hao yi shi cos in the cinema.. cuz i so noisy. I like the last part.. thumbs up ")

@deine =>
I promise you I won't forget the times we shared, the tears we cried
You'll always be the sun in my sky
It may be fate that brings us back to meet again someday
Even though we go seprate ways

Where is my voice?

25thFeb'06

Dear diary,

Poor me, no voice to talk. Must be 211 la. So noisy den have to keep raising my voice cos there are 44 students in that class. Yesterday till can talk one.. today wake up is like i wanna say good morning to my parents = ... ? Stun, never experienced this kinda of situation where i have absolutely no voice! Anyway i may not be going to qwss next week unless they calls mi up again. Cos they have finally found a retired teacher to take over my classes. Yea, no need to worry about having to mark those scripts!
Uh-oh, next week gonna get my results back le. I dunno what i'm feeling now.. sometimes is like no feeling yet there are times i'm so afraid. What if i nv do well to go anywhere? i thought of repeating aother year but will i be able to take it? I dun wanna go through another year of the a levels, it sucks! Then, if i do well i also dunno what course to take. PLus, i threw the NUS letter away le. Think needa call the sch n ask them to send mi another letter. Haiz...
I wana go out later with rowena but no voice how to talk? Feel like going shopping after i got my pay. Buy accessories... eat dinner. Shall see how later. Yesterday nv really sleep well though i slept at 10 plus. cos got smses received every now n then in between my sleep. Woke up ard 9.

@deine = > speechless

Having throat pain

22th Feb'2006

Dear diary,

I think i'm losing my voice soon - tml? or the day after. These few days i've been going to the lower secondary classes and they are uncontrollable! Qwss might be taking mi in for a long term to teach geography and english but I don't want! My english is like ... I do not want to harm the students, morever, i didn't asked to teach english. Hate markings compositions when I myself can't even do it. Yesterday i were told to teach the secondary 5 geography. It was my sister's class so I asked her where her teacher has stopped for lessons. End up, i read up the textbook and did mindmap for the class to copy till 1am. Early this morning, i were told that there is a change in my timetable! Argh, waste my time! instead i'm to teach social studies which i were not prepared at all. As for the sec2 english classes, i played games with them. It was not really a success despite spending 1.5 hour just to write 100 'cards' - a word n it's meaning ... i think begin a teacher really isn't easy. The efforts u put in , the students just take it for granted. They don't know what u have done.. it's like ya, this is your job what.

Yesterday, I told Mr kamal that i can't teach english. I might have think too much about what he had mentioned. But i think maybe he's right too.. i never give it a try , how can i always say i cannot. Have to do some reflection here...

@de|ine=> need tons of honey water...

It's the weekend!

18th Feb'2006



Dear diary,

Went for my driving lesson today n i met the same instructor again! He's nice... It was pouring heavily n i'm supposed to learn my vertial parking. Argh.. can't really see the pole but i still managed to did it! Yea, finally completed my stage 3 n i have to wait till monday to go or my driving stimulaor n there i can book my test date le. Heard that needa wait till june... tt's long!

After driving, i went town to meet rowena. We were deciding what to had for dinner.. two weeks ago we went to cafe cartel n yesterday we ate the jap food on the basement level cos it's cheaper. Den we took neoprints! I lurve them. Been quite some time since i took it with her.. she said it was like 2 years ago. Time flies ya.. nv keep in touch with her alot while studying in jc cos both of us were in different class. Still i'm glad we can click like we used to be :) Great mind thinks alike like u always say. Haha we actually said the same thing at the same time! Went to shop around for presents for our friends. Also, she bought a pair of chain for her parents. I also wanna buy something for my parents but i haven think of what to buy for them. They seems to have everything le. Went up to cini cafe to eat cake n have a drink around 10 plus. We sat till 11.30 den leave the place.
Blur rowena who managed to get on the last train but get down at the wrong station! Haha.. how 'lucky' can she be =) Fortunately, she managed to reach out for a cab. had a great day with you! I shall ask u out the next time round... but have to control ur spendings since u wanna buy so many things!
Upload the neo prints...

My favourite!

simple and sweet



last minute work doesn't mean it will fail..


rowena looks cute but i look fat cos of my twisted top. I still like it!


Michelle gf, hope u will have a great weekend. I read through my past entries.. i found one of the entries on my thoughts in May 2005. maybe u wanna take a look , perhaps it's like what u feel. Cheer up. Yesterday was a great day for mi though there r a few things that i've been pondering too...


Humans are complicated creatures.
No one can fathom.
At times we just sat there thinking what wrong have u done.
Yet there isn't an answer.
Are we always suppose to take the first step to all?
No pain no gain.
That's what everyone says.
The truth is beyond what time can measure...

@deine=> no reply means ?

I'm in deep shit

16th Feb' 2006

Dear diary,
I'm feeling depressed n guilty now. A student just told mi how confused the math teacher was today cos there are alot of worksheets given out n not go through yet. I didn't know I had to go through with them. :( but i just remembered she say just show them on the board roughly how to do. Haiz... shucks i really feel very bad. She has so much work to do! But i have marked their A math homework as well as the secondary 3 ones. Gosh, he told mi that there is a locus test next monday n the teacher does not know which to go thru first. I feel damn bad, instead of helping her i like gave her more work! Can't do anything now , afraid to go back to qwss. later she asks mi what i did in class? Yet i feel like saying sorry cos i didn't know i had to go through with them. Come to think of it, maybe it's common sense that i should do it. Argh.. i hate making mistakes n yet i dunno what i can do to help. I wish i could do something! Help...
Went out with 5 students from sec 3 to watch movie - Pink Panther. It's not nice , only a few parts are funny. I think the plot is stupid.. no links at all. Hm.. would prefer I not stupid too.
I'm so broke to do anything right now. been spending too much money! Must learn to cut down but.. how to ? My parents are not giving me any money la, so when i go work or out, i'm like using my own money. How i wish i were in sch now. Got money, dun need to work though i wish i were working when i'm studying, have homework to do at home. Now i'm like so free n my brain are turning rusty. Maybe i should go take out my notes n rad.. but it's tough when there is no goal to reach. Usually i study cos there will be tests or exams n not for own reference. I'm getting lazy... nv even complete at least 5 books since A levels. always read halfway... i wanna brush up my english!

@deine = > feeling worst than ever

Happy Valentine's Day

14 Feb'2006



Dear diary,
Happy Valentine's Day! Spend my day in qwss.. receive some chocolates form the students :) Hmm I think I'm bias cos i only bought sweets for this particular class - 403. Just enjoy to be in this class... maybe the students are more interesting? After school, i went to bbdc for driving lessons . stage 3 already! i'm damn sleepy today la. so i'm unable to absorb quicky n tends to forget very easily. Hmm having problems with my reserve, dunno when to turn eh. always turn wrong side. the instructor must be thinking i'm stupid la. but he's really very nice to be so patient with mi... i think if other instructor would have be gone case liao. tired!!! dunno if tml they are calling mi back anot? wanna take a rest . This week chionging bbdc 4 days! hopfully can clear stage 3... receive prank call from someone whom i dunno but knows mi. The worst thing i can ever get is that students got my hp no from another relief teacher's phone ( they took his phone away!) hope i stop getting prank calls! irritating...

@deine=> love goes round the world

Great day

9th feb 2006

Dear diary,
I had a wonderful day in qss today... Just when i have decided n told the person in charge that i won't be coming next week, everything went so smoothly. :) the NT students handed n did their work completely in class. n 403, they had group study in the afternoon at 2.15. i thot their teacher not here so no work for them to do n i told them that they do not need to stay back. But sadly, when i asked the other maths teacher , she said she had worksheets for them. After sch, i went out wanted to get sweets for them instead n met the girls from 403. they asked mi to join them for lunch so i agreed while i get two guys to help mi get the sweets :) i were late, only had three mouths of what i ordered n had to rush back to school. When i went to the class , gave them the packets of sweets.. din know that 405 student was there. he was staring at mi den asked y u give their class den our class dun have? cos i also teach them.. uh-oh. now, i've to buy for all!
405 students really are the nerds as what the whole school calls them. gave them 6 worksheets on tuesday n they completed all by today. It's really a lot of work!
Sense of satisfation ...

@de|ine=> whole is full of wonders

Days in qss

8th Jan'2006

Dear diary,
Since cny, i been going to qss everyday. teachers there seems to fall ill easily! lol, n that's create job oppunities for people like me. The whole overall is ok except that i hate the dress code. Is like everything i wear also cannot lor! Normal t-shirts with really little design also cannot , thus i have to wear my black jacket the whole day. I'm like perspiring la. argh... already bought so many clothes yet still none seems to suit. I'm only allowed to wear plain shirts which i've only 2 or collar shirts. wore skirts everyday coz i dun have those working pants. These few days i have to teach maths. I taught the best class sec 4 a math on small changes. I have difficultly in explaining to them. is not as easy as i thot it would be. feel so helpless n lack of confident wheni stand in front of the class. I feel that i'm already shouting yet they still can't hear mi. I can't go any further..
N i'm taking the Nt students as well.. haiz. i'm wondering izzit the way i teach is wrong or the class nv pay attention in class. repeat 6 times on the cross mutiply method n yet they still say i dun understand! Told the class to stay back after school so that i can help them with their homework cos i feel that they can't do n wun hand it up tml. Put in so much effort but only a few students stayed back. Disappointed n sad.. i dunno what to do :(
In order not to harm the students in their studies, i decided not to go next mon n tuesday to qss. or rather not to go qss anymore. The school is just too strict for mi to follow. Hopefully hss will call mi :) have to do homework again...

@de|ine=> u never know u r alive until u live

nothing special

4th Jan'2006

Dear diary,

This year cny, there isn't any much collections :( Quite boring though... Anyway, finally i have completed stage 1 n has reached stage 2.05 for my driving lessons le. Hehe.. yesterday i went for 2 lessons consecutive. during the second lesson, i think my eyes were too tired. it was painful n there were tears. It was dangerous to drive with my blur eyes.. so i told my instructor n stopped by the side. Rest for a while den ok le. Went to aunt lily house.. i were exhausted already. woke up at 6.30am den reached home only at 1am. I dunno how to make lessons more interesting eh.. was told to teach additional maths on rate of change and small changes. but i dunno how.. shall read up more on it.

going tohave lunch now den meet up with rownea!

@de|ine=> pondering...